Repairs

Loud footsteps echoed throughout the Finalizer as Kylo Ren stormed down the corridor. His boots stomped against the floor as he made his way to his quarters. He shoved past the stormtroopers outside of his door and stormed in. The doors slammed shut behind him with a loud clang. He stood panting for a moment, squinting his eyes to adjust to the brilliant white walls of the room. His cowl fell to the floor along with his cape into a crumpled heap. He tore off his shirt as Kylo went to the washroom to clean himself up. He splashed water on his face, hoping that it would help clear his head. But as the droplets of water rolled down onto his bare chest, it just reminded him of the very thing he was trying to forget.

One of the very first Force Bonds he had had with the scavenger, with Rey, he ended up with water on his face, despite the fact that his surroundings were completely dry. He had wiped his gloved hand across his face, to see drops of ocean water dripping down the black leather. So now he watched as droplets of water fell from his face into the sink.

His grip on the edges of the basin tightened as Rey's face flashed through his mind. He could so distinctly remember the freckles across her nose, her piercing hazel eyes, the way her hair brushed against her shoulders, the way her lips had parted when looked at him in the elevator… Kylo squeezed his eyes shut to try to block out the memory, to keep all the emotions that it carried from spilling out. How could someone elicit so much pain from the simple memory of their face, when that same face was one of the only people in his life he held compassion for?

It had been almost 4 months since Crait. The sting of her rejection still lingered, but logically he knew why she hadn't. But the emotional part of him could tell that she had wanted to. So why was she denying it? The last time he had seen her was when she had accused him of getting everything he wanted. He remembered the way her eyes widened and the way her cheeks flushed when he had said that he didn't have everything he wanted. He had wanted her. Hell, he still wanted her. And he didn't even know what that meant.

A sudden realization struck him. Snoke had claimed that he had created the Bond between him and Rey. But then why hadn't it dissolved after his death? When he saw her on Crait, he reasoned that it was just the lingering presence of Snoke remaining between them. When he had last seen her, he was so distracted that he didn't even think about it.

Suddenly he heard a crash outside of the bathroom door. He rushed outside to see what it was, not even bothering to cover his chest. He startled in surprise to see Rey. She was sitting at a desk of sort and she wore a look of frustration. She must have thrown something. Her head swiftly turned to look at him, and then her cheeks flushed bright red when she saw him. He thought he saw her eyes flick over his body as they lingered on his chest for the briefest of moments. She seemed to catch herself and turned away quickly again.
"Kriff, Ben," she groaned. "Again? Put something on!" Kylo looked down, suddenly remembering he was wearing no shirt. He looked back up to see her looking at him again and smirked as she quickly turned away again.

"Enjoying the view?" he teased. Rey glared at him sharply and he noticed she made an effort to only stare at his face.

"Oh for Force's sake-" she rolled her eyes. "You're insufferable."

"You didn't deny it," Kylo said, still smirking.

"Shut up," Rey grumbled, still avoiding his gaze. Then Kylo noticed the object in front of her. His uncle's lightsaber. Or what was left of it.

"What are you doing?" he asked, genuinely curious. She looked at him in surprise as if she wasn't expecting him to ask. Her hands toyed with a small tool as her gaze shifted to the broken lightsaber.

"I'm trying to fix the saber," she said. Kylo took a few steps towards her to get a better view. She flinched slightly but didn't move.

"Doesn't look like that's working out for you very well," he said as he picked up the pieces. He felt her glare at him again.

"I did say I was trying," she argued. "Plus I never exactly learned how to build one." She paused slightly and Kylo turned to look at her. Her gaze was on the table and she seemed lost in thought. "I'm good at fixing things," she said softly. "I had to be in order to survive. So it's very trying when I've stumbled across something that can't necessarily be fixed with a few hex bolts and a new power cell." He looked at her in surprise. He hadn't expected her to open herself up like that to him. Rey then seemed to snap out of her daze and her eyes focused on the saber once more. "It's the crystal that's giving me issues. The rest of the mechanical stuff I can do. I've read through the Jedi texts but there's not much it saws on how to fix a broken kyber cryst-" she stopped suddenly and bit her lip as if she had said too much.

Kylo's gaze softened as he remembered making his own saber. He took the broken pieces from her gently and inspected them. The crystal had sheared in half, it would be very hard to heal it.

"Try meditating on it," he said, his own voice surprising himself. Rey looked at him suddenly, a confused expression on her face. "Meditating on the crystal and bonding yourself to it in a way is how most Jedi create their lightsabers. Even though it's not necessarily your crystal, you should be strong enough to be able to heal it to some degree." He turned to meet her eyes and his lips turned up ever so slightly. "You should be able to build something to stabilize it afterward." She looked at him in shock and when she took the pieces back from him, her hands were shaking.

"I… thank you," she said softly. It took her a while to meet his gaze. Then she jumped slightly when she turned her head only to find Kylo's bare chest inches away. Kylo caught her gaze and pulled back, giving her space. He leaned back against the wall behind him, the metal was cold against his bare skin. There was that look again. Her hazel eyes swept over his body again before she lifted her gaze upwards. Later, he could have sworn he saw her eyes linger on his lips before moving back up to his eyes.

"Why are you helping me?" she asked, her voice breaking the silence. Kylo raised his eyebrow in confusion. Rey nodded her head slightly towards the lightsaber.

"This is a weapon that I've tried to kill you with," she paused for a moment and her voice lowered. "That I probably will use against you later…" Her eyes went to her lap and she bit her lip anxiously. "So why would you help me?" He blinked as her question threw him off guard. What she was saying made sense. They were enemies, and if this was her weapon, shouldn't he be trying to keep it broken, so she couldn't use it against him? Kylo opened his mouth as if to speak and then closed it. He focused on one of the panels of his floor as he struggled to come up with an answer.

"I don't-I…" he started before trailing off. He could feel the heat of her stare. When he finally lifted his head to meet her eyes. Her gaze was haunting, confused, nervous. His gut wrenched as he realized that this was the same look she had given him just before he had offered her his hand. His lips parted and he inhaled as if to speak, but no words came out. He gave up speaking and just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. She seemed disappointed by his lack of explanation.

A beat of silence hung in the air, and the tension between them was almost suffocating. Rey had placed the saber down on the table and had stood up, mirroring his position. Then Rey's soft voice broke the silence like an ax cutting through ice.

"Why is this still happening?" Kylo looked at her when she spoke. "Snoke said that he had forged our connection, so shouldn't it have dissolved with his death?" She must have come to the same conclusion that he did.

"I'm not sure," he replied, honestly. "Unless he was lying…" He looked at her uncertainly.

"So…" Rey said. "What does that mean? That he didn't make it, or that he just initiated it?" She paused before saying softly, "Does that mean that whatever this thing between us is, that it's real?" His head jerked upwards as she said that. Her face held wondering, confusion, and he thought the slightest bit of hope had crossed her face. Was was the hope for? That their connection was real? That it wasn't?

"Maybe?" he said, his voice low and quiet. He desperately hoped it was real. That this connection, this Bond that he shared with the girl in front of him was real. He hoped that their relationship or whatever this was between them hadn't been completely manipulated by Snoke. His feelings felt like they were overflowing and then he realized that he was feeling Rey's emotion in addition to his own. She was hoping for this to be real, too. Then he noticed something that made him smirk slightly.

"You have oil on your face," he said. Rey looked at him in confusion and brought her hand up to her face.

"No, I don't. Where?" she asked. Kylo tapped the side of his nose and his cheek.

"Here, and here." Rey wiped at her face again but only succeeded in smudging more oil on her face.

"Is it gone?" Kylo shook his head and smiled to himself as Rey tried again, but only added another black smudge on her chin.

"Now?" she asked, starting to get annoyed with him. Kylo smirked and shook his head.

"No, it's-kriff, just…" Kylo rolled his eyes and took a few steps forward, closing the short space between them. Before he realized what he was doing, his hand was on her cheek, and his other hand was wiping the grime off her face. She stiffened but didn't move away. They both seemed to hold their breath and Kylo paused to look at her, seeming to ask if this was ok. She breathlessly nodded ever so slightly. So he continued wiping the oil smudges off her face with his hand. Her skin was warm and her face seemed so small in comparison to his large hands. He tried not to look directly at her as he moved his thumb across her cheek. They had never really touched each other through a Bond, not since Ahch-To, and certainly not this much. Rey's gaze never left his face and as his thumb wiped the grime off her chin, it lingered there and he met her gaze. Her hazel eyes stared up at him with an emotion he couldn't quite place. The strength and intensity of the emotions flowing between him and Rey were almost too much to even comprehend.

The logical part of his brain was telling him to let go and to pull away. She was his enemy. He was hers. But it was as if he had been frozen in place, unable to move, even if he wanted to. Then his breath hitched when that thought came to mind. Even if he wanted to. He had the strangest urge to run his thumb along her lower lip. That thought was enough to bring him back to reality. He took his hands away quickly and stepped backward, almost bumping into the wall behind him. Rey seemed shaken, too.

Rey's eyebrows furrowed like they did whenever she was confused or worried. Her lips were shut together in a tight line before she opened them to speak.

"Ben, I-" Her voice was cut short when she disappeared from his sight. Kylo was left staring at the light reflecting off the white panels of his floor. His brain was racing, trying to make sense of what had just happened. It seemed so surreal, like a dream. But when he lifted his hand, there were black oil smudges on his fingers.

Author's Note: Sorry if this seems out of character for Kylo. His character was much more sarcastic in the Last Jedi novelization, so this would match up more with that version than the version we see in the film.