DECEMBER 2 THURSDAY

At lunch break, the chaps went to a private study room in the library to work on that musical.

"You said you had this old draft," said James.

"Yeah but it was rubbish," said Sirius and opened a blank page in his notebook. "So, I need a title!"

"What about: Jesus Christ Super Baby?"

"Yes! Excellent!"
He jotted down: Jesus Christ Super Queer – A Nativity Musical.

This confused James.

"I don't understand."

"Dumbledore's orders. Moo?"

"What."

"Any feelings you want to share?"

"Why do you keep asking me this?"

"You want to share how you feel about me writing a queer nativity musical?"

"Are you accusing me of being queerphobic?"

"Not at all, Moo! I just want you to feel like if you have any concerns or questions about anything, you may vent them! I don't want any of you guys to feel like you have to keep a lid on anything for fear of being cancelled and deplatformed. You are bound to have questions."
"Well that's very... big of you, I guess."

"So... Nothing?"

"Well... Since you asked. I mean... A Queer Nativity Musical? I don't know. If I'm honest... It just sounds like something that could easily become tasteless and offensive."

"What are you saying, Moo? Are you calling queers tasteless and offensive?"

"No I'm calling you tasteless and offensive."
"It's not going to be tasteless and offensive! It will be just your ordinary nativity story, except with gays. So, first we have the simple stable boy Gary."

Sirius scribbled in his notebook: Gary.

"So Gary is a frigid MtoF hebrew with womb envy whose greatest desire is for that hunky carpenter Joe to give him a good woodworking. What do you think of that, Prongs?"

James just stared at the notebook.

"Why?"

"Told you. Dumbledore's orders. He wanted a gay couple. He thinks the original version is too heteronormative."

"So make them a lesbian couple."

"It has to be two blokes and mpregging them is not a difficult task for their god."

"There's going to be mpreg? Oh I'm so not a fan of that if I can be honest."

"Pregnancy is natural and beautiful."

"It's not it's pretty yucky and mpregnancy is even worse if such a thing is possible which it might not even be."

"Real mature, Prongs. Real mature. What's so yucky about an actor keeping a cushion under his tunic?"

"Yeah that's not so bad I guess."

"A cushion and looooooots of ketchup."
"They could adopt I suppose!" said Remus.

Sirius put down his pen and gave him a blank stare.

"How about NO! I don't care how yucky you find mpreg! Adopt? Two gays adopting some virgin's holy baby, like THAT makes sense? That's an unnecessarily complicated route for the Holy Ghost to take."

"So you're taking the only woman character and turning her into a man? That just doesn't seem feminist."

"You speaking for the feminists now?"

"No of course not but... I thought..."
"Gary is ALSO a woman! On the inside! Look guys, trust me, it's going to be great! Queer-tolerant and very feminist, you'll see!"
Sirius scribbled furiously in his notebook, he was so full of ideas.

"So," said James. "Are you going to make the angel a transvestite?"

"Of course."

"What would an angel transvestite wear?" Remus asked.

"Dresses, duh!"

"But... Angels already wear dresses."

Sirius slammed his notebook shut and stood up.

"Get out of my art."

He stormed out of the study room and slammed the door after him.

"What does MtoF mean?" Peter asked.

James didn't know.

"Monday to Friday?"