DECEMBER 4 SATURDAY

After many intense writing sessions, the script was now finished. It was time to cast.

Sirius held the audition in the chamber of drama practice with James and Remus as assistant casting directors. Peter kept the tea coming.

"NEXT!" Sirius yelled.

Fletcher stepped forth.

"I don't know how to love him! I don't know how the words go..."

"Cut! Next!"
Another chap pushed Fletcher out of the way.

"I could have daaanced all night, I could have daaanced all night-"
It was another cut. Beau Marceau came next, wearing a gold waistcoat and bringing a large box.

"But Beau," said Sirius. "You don't even talk. You're a mime."

Beau opened the box and took out a hideous ventriloquist dummy. The dummy was also dressed in a gold waistcoat and gold shorts and wearing a gold bowler hat.

"Money makes the world go round! World go round! World go round! Money makes the-"

"Cut!"

But Beau just carried on.

"One! Singular sensation! Every little step she takes!"

"I said next!"

"You said cut. One! Thrilling combination! Every move that she makes!"
"Can I see that dummy?"

Beau took the hint and ran off.

"I kind of liked him," said James.

"No ventriloquist dummies. Ventriloquist dummies are just gross. NEXT!"

The turn came to Xylophona. She was wearing a blue cap and a pirate coat.

"I would be happy with any role in this show."

"Oh yeah, because you're liquid gender or something," said Sirius.

"Gender fluid. I just like the way you're not queer baiting. You're queer netting, throwing the net on the queer fish, reeling them onto the whaling ship and mount them on the wall."

She meant that in a good way. At least it sounded like it.

"We don't just cast pisces, 'though," said Sirius.

Xylophona had a whispering discussion with the self-playing piano. Then she began her audition.

"Consider yourself! At home! Consider yourself! Part of the family!"

"Cut. Fine. We'll get back to you."

"OK."

Xylophona left, making room for her half twin brother Phil

"Hi my name is Phil, I'm here to audition."

"Take it away then," said James.

Phil cleared his throat.

"I closed my eyes. Drew back the curtain. To see for certain. What I thought I knew."

Remus yawned.

"Eh."

"Cut. Next!" Sirius agreed.

"What if I do another song?" said Phil. "That one is a bit 'eh'."

Phil was allowed to think of a different song.

"Ok I know. I was feeling done in. Couldn't win-"

"Cut," said Sirius. "Sorry."
"Please! One more song?"

"We don't have all day we want to go and smoke some weed!"
"Wow you really want this Phil huh!" said James.

Phil sighed.

"Well I don't know. But you know. Roy is my best friend. We do everything together. That's why I have to do this show. Because he's here to audition as well."

"Doesn't sound like you really want it," said Sirius.

"No. I don't as much as I perhaps would because, you see, well, Roy's been acting a bit funny lately. I think it could be those teen hormones. I just want to keep him happy. If I'm not in the show he will think I'm looking for a new best friend because he's just overreacting to everything now. So please?"

Sirius looked at the pocket watch that Remus was sleeping on.

"Can you do something more showy and theatrical?"

"Yes of course!"

Phil took a moment to come up with a song, and then he whispered it to the self-playing piano.

He asked Beau to borrow his cane.

"So you're Jesus Christ! You're the great Jesus Christ! Turn the water into bread, walk across my swimming pool! La la la la, la la la, da da da daaa..."
"Eh I'm sure you can be a donkey or something."

"Thank you! Thank you!"

Phil ran off. Several more donkeys were cast, as well as a camel. But so far no Gary.

That was until it was Roy's turn.

"Take your time why don't you!"
It wasn't like him to be this sullen. Such angry eyes with such a wide smile made for a weird face. Because of his foul mood, Sirius didn't particularly want to cast him in any role.

But when he performed I'm Just A Sweet Transvestite, he knew that there simply was no other Gary.