DECEMBER 8 WEDNESDAY

"Class dismissed," said Miss Myrrh, who taught the compulsory New Age Wicca Class in the Séance tower.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter grabbed their things, and when Rora walked by, they grabbed her attention.

"Hey Rora," said James. "What's in story for a Gemini? Any parties?"

"I suppose you have questions about Roy's horoscope," said Rora. "I saw that, in your horoscope."

"Why are you always looking at our horoscopes?" Sirius asked. "It's a little stalker-ish."

"I don't start out looking at your horoscope. I look at a horoscope, and that horoscope sometimes leads me to your horoscopes. Here is Roy's most recent horoscope for example: You shall hand over your mission to a domineering Sagittarius and a quest-grabby Gemini."

"I didn't know I was quest-grabby," said James.

"That's because you're not aware, that most of the adventures you've been on, have actually been quests intended for somebody else."
"Cool. Guess that means we're all the masters of our own fates after all."

"No it doesn't mean that. But that is a very long and boring discussion."

"Can you explain Roy's horoscope for us?" Sirius asked. "What's the thing, the Creature, like, what are we supposed to do?"

"You're not supposed to do anything. Roy was supposed to take Mordag the Cutter to Death Mountain and defeat the Creature, who's been chained to a dungeon there. According to rumours, the cutter is inside a butternut pumpkin. According to some astrological forecasts, a tall dark Leo was supposed to have found it. It should have happened already. According to your horoscopes, you will succeed in getting it back."

"How can you say we're not supposed to do anything and that we're not the masters of our fate, and then say we will succeed?"

"You will try to defeat the Ceature, but according to your horoscopes, you will also fail at it. Good luck, 'though."

xxx

That evening, when their ancient artefacts teacher was having a bath, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter snucked inside her office and stole a Golden Sleigh that she had borrowed from the Museum of Relics.

They brought it outside and tied Professor Irwin's six flying croc-goats to it. Then they hopped inside. James tugged at some leather straps and went: Yaa! Yaa!"

The flying goats began to fly.

They didn't know who had the pumpkin but they reasoned: if he (or she. Or they) saw that they were suddenly flying to Death Mountain, it would make them suspicious and curious, possibly worried that they had a really awesome plan. Which they always did of course.

Sirius kept an eye on the map, looking for a flying stalker.

"Anyone after us yet?" James asked as they soared over Lake Mead.

"Reggie. I should have known."
"He has the pumpkin? But why?"

"Because of one simple reason, Prongs. Because it's mine."
"Your petty fraternal feuds fill me with a warm kind of jealousy."
When the sleigh had passed the map boundaries, Sirius switched to a map over Europe. James rummaged among the tapes in the glove box.

"If only this thing came with a cassette player."

"But it has a radio."

Sirius pressed the radio button. They could hear accordion music.

"Boring channel."

"Hey... What direction are we going?"

"North, like we said."

"Oh." James looked over the sleigh. "When did France move?"

The Eiffel Tower nearly hit Sirius in the face. Remus leaned past him, flipped his map around and gave him a compass.

They made an air- screeching u-turn and now they were heading in the right direction. Sirius managed to get reception on a decent radio channel.

Don't go breaking my heart..."

He switched it off.

"You don't like Don't Go Breaking My Heart?" James asked, surprised.

"Ever since Cas found a way to make crystal screens show lyrics and play instrumental music at the same time, I've grown pretty tired of singing it."

"Yeah. Emporky. What an awesome invention."

Emporky: empty + orchestra. Emporky.

"I love that emporky machine. It's gonna catch on." James was sure of it.

Sirius looked over his shoulder but didn't see anyone.

"What idiot tipped Reggie off about Mordag the Cutter? Who ever did that should be fired. Reggie just can't do anything right. Do you know why? Because he's always doing what I'm doing. Go that way."

"Well that explains why I'm seeing onion domes," said James.

Another screeching u-turn, and a sharp dive to avoid a flock of dragons.

"I get a pair of shoes, he gets the same pair of shoes. I get a pair of gloves, he gets the same pair of gloves. I get a pumpkin. Do you see my point?"

"I see cheese canals. Who wants to stop for mushroom cheese?"

They were flying over the Netherlands.

"I would have thought that by now he would have gotten a life," said Sirius. "But what level of maturity can you expect from someone who's 15?"

"You're 15."

"As if my hands weren't full already, now I have to look after him as well because," sigh, "I'm older, and therefore wiser.

"Wiser by 8 whole months."

"Yeah. One accumulates a lot of wisdom in just 8 months."

"That's so true," said Remus.

"You're very mature to admit that, even 'though I'm wiser than you by 9 months."

"No, I'm wiser than you by 9 months."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then how come it doesn't seem that way?"

Then all of a sudden they found they were being targeted by a bunch of spells intending to sink them. Reggie was flying right beside them on his Defying Gravity.

"Well hello!"

Clearly he had been drinking.
He threw the pumpkin in the air and caught it. He threw it behind him and caught it. He did a bunch of showy throws, just to show, that he could still catch it.

"If you want it. Come and claim it."
"I could make you fall so hard the pumpkin would be in better condition," said Sirius. "But I won't. Because I'm nice."
"Wise decision! I wouldn't want you to face the wrath of my mighty familiar!"

"You have a familiar?"

"Yep! I went and answered the questions and I was granted a mighty familiar. It is known as the King of the Birds, so watch out!"
What could it be? A falcon? An eagle? A swan? A phoenix! Sirius decided, he didn't really care. He was going to jellify the pumpkin. He gripped his wand, but a really annoying sound distracted him.

"Why do I hear some dentist fairy's malfunctioning drill?"

"I warned you not to try something dirty!" said Reggie. "You should have listened! At him, Behemoth!"

He had summoned his familiar, but there was no familiar to be seen.
Sirius looked around. So did James, and Remus, and Peter. They thought they could just about make out the shape of a small ball with wings. And a beak.

When the pumpkin was in the air after another show-offy throw, Sirius went accio pumpkin and jellified Reggie's blue tit familiar. The tiny finch plummeted down.

"Behemoth!" Reggie cried and dived after it.

Sirius liked the feeling of the pumpkin back in his hands.

"Cute robin."

KINGLET!
"Well that was easy," said James.

Show off were so easy to beat.