DECEMBER 19 SUNDAY
James parked the sleigh outside Death Mountain. The chaps went past the great pit, where they had found Grethel Hansen, until they came to an area under the mountain that felt more elf-y.
They could hear a factory and found a staff-only door that was very small.
"How do we get through there?" James asked.
"If only we were smaller than doors," said Peter. "Hey! I'm smaller than a small door!"
He gripped his wand and shut his eyes tightly.
"Rattus prism power make-up!"
He had never achieved aniforming before. He couldn't even make a feather move. The teachers gave him "special" homework. He stood there just looking constipated for twenty minutes.
Sirius gave James a joint. Remus passed on the joint.
Pop!
"Somebody remind me, why are we just standing around like this?" Sirius asked.
Remus looked up from a travel book.
"Hey I think he actually did it this time."
A mouse was crawling around on the floor and it was fatter than mice in the wild tended to get.
It sniffed the small elf door until a fat and old and blind cat with three legs chased it into a hole. It was possible that the cat hadn't even noticed the mouse.
"And without the training tiara, too," said James. "Well now what?"
Remus thew a catchemal ball on the ground and in split in two.
"Konnichiwa!" said Shishi the Kappa.
"Shishi can you please find a bigger door?"
"Subarashii chin-chin mono," Shishi replied before embarking on a search for a bigger door.
It took him only one American Pie verse to find a wizard-sized entrance.
They came into a workshop with few elves. The elves were driking mulled wine and playing poker, paying no attention to all the unfinished toys.
"Excuse us hello," said James. "Do you have any idea where Goaty Man could be?"
An elf turned his way.
"Are you training to be investigative aurors or something?"
"No."
"An auror has already been here. I remember because that is not a face one forgets easily."
James turned to Sirius.
"Why did we come here?"
Sirius shrugged.
"I don't know, 'cause we were bored? Do we need motivation?"
Of course. James turned back to the elves.
"So an auror was here. What did you tell him- or her- when they asked about Goaty Man?"
"I remember exactly what Elfy said," said the elf. "He said: AAAHH! HIS EYE! HIS EYE! AAHHH!"
"You all screamed," Elfy squeaked. "Wasn't just me, Bink."
"And then what did you say, after the screaming?" James asked.
Elfy poured himself some more mulled wine.
"We had just gone on strike. Goaty Man came in here and shouted at us for being lazy and useless. Then these two wizards in venetian masks turned up and gave him a magic beating. Then they dragged him out of here. Served him right if you ask me. He wouldn't let us form unions. I would personally prefer to work in a meat factory. I used to be a butcher."
"Meat factory?"
"Yeah. The Tojours Fromage want to take over this toy workshop, and turn it into a meat factory."
During a moment's pause, they could all hear a voice coming from below: Heeelp! The Mischief Managers, save me please!
"What's below the workshop?" Sirius asked.
Shrug. "I dunno. Wanna play poker with us?"
Sure why not.