Chapter 5

My instinct is screaming at me, screaming that I had run away from my mate. There is only one who could give me comfort in my current state. To some, it may have been a fool's choice, but I am doing what I believe was right. Yonekuni would never love me and only me and I would not accept anything else nor would my soul. Leaving was my only choice, even if I have to suffer through this alone.

The very same day I made used of grandmother's invitation.

1 Months Later

"I didn't expect for your instinct to be so strong. I was foolish; I'll do the best I can to help you pup. As such, I have already made an appointment with the family's doctor."

"Is it always going to be like this when I wake up in the morning?"

"For the first month or two, it depends on the wolf actually. We Madararui face a shorter pregnancy period than that of monkey's. Mine lasted for a month and a half, before I experienced the large food consumption cravings."

"Is there anything that can help?"

"… I have an idea, come down when you are ready, I'll fix something."

This trend continues to plague the wolf for another month before it finally slows down. Then, the wolf was infected with the ravenous food cravings and untimely hunger even during class. It was difficult at first, but then who said pregnancy was ever easy? It took two months before I became somewhat adapted to the lifestyle of not having her mate by her side.

"Shirou?"

"Humm?"

"What are you thinking about? You spaced out in class, I still don't understand how you can be the top student yet your mind always seems to wander."

The wolf blush at her flaws being pointed out so obviously. "I was thinking about baking a peach pie when I got home today. As for my grades, well I study at home mainly going over the material I miss during class."

The blond burst out laughing hearing his friend's comment.

"Is not funny Conan, I have a serious desire to eat a Peach Streusel pie." Turning away from her friend's behavior, Conan was one of her few friends she found in her new school, who accepted the fact that she was pregnant with good grace. It made it easier that Conan was a Madararui, a wolf Madararui at that. It was by chance that they had met, sharing the same major they saw each other in a few classes they shared. We didn't talk much till later at one of the social parties that grandma had forced her to attend, much to her protest and dismay. It was during the social that they found out that each other was Madararui, it was a surprise since both of them were hiding their presences in school. Since then they have become close friends.

Conan had helped greatly in improving my control on my wolf instinct. He seems to smooth the slightly empty place that my mate has carved a hole in. However, he can never be my mate; a wolf can only have one mate in a lifetime. We both knew, but neither of us are willing to broach the subject with a ten foot pole that might ruin our delicate understanding of friendship.

Half a semester of school pass, I was enrolled into Madararui's private hospital. The school was given notice of my maternal absences which allows me to complete the remainder of the semester online, and take the exam within a certain time period after my hospital check out.

On the 12th of May I became a mother to two daughters. Their blond hair was the exact same shade as that of their father. When they opened their eyes they were the exact same color as their fathers. They seem to be a mirror image of their father, I had to search extremely hard to find even a trace of myself in my children.

It seems that even across the ocean I will be constantly reminded of what I cannot have. The other part of me that will be always missed. However, I will never part with my cubs. Not until my last breath.