He didn't think things through. It was a trait that made him both a talented inventor, and a very dangerous idiot at times. This moment was one of those times.

Everyone in the room had been quick to refuse Tony's suggestion, using the excuses of "Tony it is October" and "That's the worst idea you've had in a week, and I'm including the decision to work on your suit while drunk". Tony ignored the chatter and protest, merely bending over to retrieve something from a cupboard under the bench. When he straightened, he pulled out a water gun, pointed it straight to Natasha's face, and pulled the trigger.

The entire room was silent for a moment as Natasha stood completely still, water dripping down her nose. She lifted one hand and wiped a few droplets away, her cold gaze turning to Tony. The grin dropped from his face as her expression changed from calm to determined and he started to sprint.

There was a scramble as everyone followed after the two of them, not wanting to miss out on any of the action. Steve mumbled a quiet prayer that this wouldn't end in any kind of fatality. Tony obviously couldn't outrun a fully trained field agent with years of experience, but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to try. She caught up with him at the end of the hall and pounced, tackling him to the ground and straddling him in what appeared to be a very painful and twisty manner. One hand at his throat, squeezing with just enough force to keep him incapacitated, she snatched the water gun out of his hand and held it tight in her right hand, her eyes running over it.

Clint came up behind her and placed one hand on her shoulder, urging her to let go as Tony struggled underneath her. He knew that she couldn't kill him with her grip alone, but that amount of pressure on a person's windpipe for too long was incredibly uncomfortable and could cause some very obvious bruising - he knew from personal experience. Her green eyes flickered between the man gasping her breath under her hand, the gun she currently held, and Clint's face. She relaxed her grip on Tony's neck and wrinkled her still-dripping nose. With nothing more than a tiny smile as warning, she tilted the gun and sprayed Clint in the face.

Pepper and Steve shared an exasperated look as Tony threw himself away from the two assassins, who began wrestling over the water gun. He somehow produced two more already-full guns and sprayed them both, turning and running before they realised what was happening. Steve watched as Clint ordered JARVIS to tell them where the rest of the water guns were kept and then set off to arm himself. Tasha went after Tony, still holding hers tightly.

"Very mature of them. We live with adults who are capable of killing people, and decide to have a water fight instead." Pepper sighed and put her fingers at her temple, gently massaging the headache she could feel coming on. "I'm not cleaning this up. Go on, then, join in. I can tell you want to."

Steve stared at her seriously for a second before grinning and running after Clint, calling for him to wait up and hand over a gun. Pepper walked back into the kitchen, glancing over to Bruce, who hadn't moved from his seat. "Going to join them?" She asked.

"I don't want to elevate my heartbeat unnecessarily." He picked up the newspaper Natasha had been reading and shook his head, a tiny smile forming on his face at the shouts that could be heard outside the kitchen. He was left with little choice over joining in when Tony walked up behind him and dumped a bucket of water over his head, soaking his shirt, hair and newspaper. As he got up, he grabbed a discarded water gun from nearby and filled it up. It was on.

The water fight (or, as it was later referred to in official SHIELD documentation, the Great Water War) lasted for several hours throughout the rest of the day, with scheduled five-minute breaks every half an hour to refill and do any other necessary tasks. They were on the fourth floor, sopping wet with no intention of stopping, when JARVIS informed them there was a video call coming in from SHIELD headquarters.

As Fury's face filled the wall opposite them, they all froze in place, looking between each other guiltily. Natasha and Clint immediately stood to attention; Bruce stood as far back as he could, his eyes low; Steve folded his arms and glared at Tony, who dropped his gun and held his hands up.

"What," Fury's voice was scarily calm, "are you doing?"

"Water fight, sir." Natasha was quick to respond, trying to look as dignified as possible. This was difficult as a wet strand of red hair was hanging over one eye. She flicked it back and stood straight again.

"I can see that, thank you, Agent Romanoff. May I ask whose idea it was to upload footage of the beginnings of this water fight to YouTube under the title 'Tony Stark's Suicide Attempt'?"

"That was Banner, sir."

"Hey!" Bruce looked up. "It was your idea, Natasha."

Natasha kept her face blank, but she turned her head ever-so-slightly and gave Bruce a tiny, teasing smile. Clint cleared his throat, looking down; actually, it had been his idea, but he wasn't going to admit that when Fury looked so...furious. Fury's eye turned to Tony, who had for once kept his mouth shut. He couldn't, however, keep the grin off his face.

"The Avengers are a team who are entrusted with the safety of the world on a regular basis. Do you really think it is good public relations for civilians to see their protectors acting like a group of unruly schoolchildren?"

"I think it's excellent public relations, actually, sir. It shows that at heart we are all still people." Captain Steve Rogers was no stranger to pranks in his army days, and he had learned a long time ago how to talk his way out of a situation with an angry superior. This was made marginally more difficult by the fact he was currently shirtless and dripping with water. "It has also performed as a team-building exercise, sir."

"Clean yourselves up. Delete that video off YouTube if it hasn't been done already, and do not take any calls from the press, because believe me there will be many. SHIELD is going to handle the public relations side of things here, and if I hear word of the five of you pulling stupid shit like this again, I'll-"

"You'll what, sir? Ground us? We're already confined to the tower." Tony had finally chosen to speak up, crossing his arms and giving Director Fury a doubtful look. Fury glared back at him and disconnected the call.

Closing his eyes, Director Fury sighed and swore quietly under his breath. He never wanted children. But apparently, what he wanted and what the universe decided to give him were two very different things.