Beta: paleseptember10

II

January 2020

"There is only one case, Christian."

"One known case. You have no idea how many others there might be and I'm not risking getting infected and then bringing it back home."

"Oh, and you want to be an asshole about it and shove me over so I can get infected?"

"You're the one that insisted on us acting like the good parent company that we allegedly are. We, the top executives, do not fly out ourselves."

"You all but jumped on the most minor trip this time last year to get away," Ros frowned at the boss, suddenly extremely aware of the drastic change that happened to him in the past six months. It was now to the point that she wasn't sure she still recognized him.

His management style hadn't changed a single bit, and his temper only got more mercurial but there was a part of him that had grown more domestic… if that made any sense to anyone. People still feared him for dear life but somehow there was an approachable vibe radiating off of him all the same time. It was like he was willing to listen to your excuses, though it better be a damn good one.

"I should probably remind you that I'm married, hmm?" Shoving his ring finger in her face mockingly as he pointed at the band with the other hand. "As much as I hate family gatherings, I'm not going to miss it because of my wife."

"That means I have to go."

"I never said we're sending people out this year. It's the end of the year companies everywhere cram, and if we fly down each year to help them, they're going to come up with shit every year."

"Are you seriously so worried about the coronavirus? It's not even a pandemic."

"Yet."

She shrugged, still glaring at him because if he had made it clear that no one would be flying out this year she wouldn't have assumed and told their subsidiary that someone would be going over like last time.

"You want me to go to Africa in the middle of this disease that's currently spreading worldwide without a cure."

"It's not gone to that continent, yet."

"It's only a matter of time, and you and I both know how good of a medical care I'm going to receive if I get infected."

"I get that you don't want to be away from your new wife this year for Christmas and New Year's, but what I don't get is why are you so hellbent on not sending anyone because of something happening in China?"

"It's not just China. Washington had a confirmed case already, and before you quote our dear president no, it is not the same as the flu."

Ros rolled her eyes with a scoff.

"Okay, I don't know why you insist on knowing the reason behind every decision I'm making recently but between you and me," he glared at her letting her grasp onto the degree of seriousness with what he was about to reveal next. "Ana's pregnant, and I'm not going to be the health hazard at home."

"She… what? Whoa, Grey, you certainly work fast."

"Totally unplanned," he flopped down in his seat rubbing his face. "Now, forget what I just told you, and go tell them that no one's going to fly out of Seattle."

Ros nodded and turned, her head spinning from the whiplash the man gave her. The last time they were butting heads about business trips he all but said "fine, I'll go", and not even a full year later, he said no one would go even if the company was on fire because of a pandemic.

It was sweet of him to think of the baby, and be considerate like that, and it was a nice change in him that he wasn't alone anymore and using business trips to fill in those gaps. However, what she didn't know was that Christian didn't turn down the business trip because of the baby, it was because of Ana, his wife.

If she wasn't pregnant, he wouldn't have gone either because it would be too dangerous. He wasn't thinking about the health of the baby, he still couldn't really stomach the thought of being a father or the responsibility that came with it. He coped well with admirers from all over the world but when there was a little one that was so new and so innocent to this universe that they lived in, and would depend on him entirely and wholly to survive and thrive, it was suddenly too much to take in.

If it were up to him, he would want nothing but to fly out to avoid her and her confrontation about why he failed to show up at her appointment.

He still felt rather proud of himself that he had turned down an opportunity to get away from everything and just be alone like he had just a week ago. Though, there was another reason why he opted to not travel other than the virus, he just didn't want to face that or acknowledge it in any form. Then, he remembered that he had agreed to pick Ana up from work on his way home. Surely, they were en route to SIP when he got into the backseat of the SUV.

"You can't avoid me forever, Christian."

He said nothing but his brain stopped making sense of the words on his display. When she asked him to pick her up after work tonight, he had thought about using work as an excuse to avoid her but the prick in him was basking in the growing clinginess in her and the constant attempt to seek his attention.

While he was aware that she was a ticking time bomb and there was only so far he could push her until she reached her limits with her patience, but his avoidance at dealing with his issues toward the pregnancy in general had forced her to take a blame that she surely did not deserve for two months straight.

He wasn't a procrastinator, but lately he found out that when it comes to his personal life, he actually was way less efficient than he was in business. If only he could be just as efficient, then he wouldn't be the fuck up that he was now.

"I'm not avoiding you."

"Really? Hmm. Should I praise you for coming here to pick me up like a dutiful husband then?"

He pursed his lips, not liking her sarcastic tone but was wise enough to remain silent.

"Christian, did something really happen or did you really just didn't want to come with me to the appointment?"

"Your check up was routine and quick, you don't need me there."

"But you are still my husband, aren't you?"

He stilled, his mind fleeing to the grand mistake that he promised himself he'd never make again on his most recent trip.

When he was told that his jet attendant was out sick, he may have hinted that he knew a replacement. They only spent a couple of hours in the confinement of his private plane but that still didn't stop them from conversing and exchanging a few dialogues.

He may or may not have divulged a little too much without providing any names, and he certainly knew her a lot better. Over the course of the trip, their conversations on the flight back and forth replayed in his mind, and he had been spending a good portion of it convincing himself that they were friends, and he acted accordingly as a friend.

Except he knew that Brie flirted with him, and although subtle and unreciprocated, he still allowed it and didn't tell her off like he should and would if the news of his wife's pregnancy didn't blow up in his face.

He wondered if his wife knew of the incidents on the trip, and if so, how? Would he need to fire Taylor's ass, or someone else's? For all he knew, Sawyer was now completely under her spell, and would hand in his resignation before he could even think of terminating his contract.

"I am still your husband, Anastasia," he regurgitated carefully and slowly. "And, I am sorry that I couldn't make it to your appointment."

"Are you still conflicted?" She fluttered her gaze to his, letting the part where he still viewed it as her appointment slide, and he finally raised his enough to meet hers all the while still maintaining his sight on the two rings he put on her finger.

"Yes, but I'm getting there, and I will be here for you," he reached for the hand and subsequently pulled her into his lap. He was still acting like it was her problem and hers alone, but she thought it was progress that he had decided to stay and talk to her. "I apologize for being so absent."

She frowned at the sudden change of his heartbeat, her joy at him finally coming around to the notion of them creating a life together overrode any lingering doubts and questions she once had. Her scowl quickly turned upwards, and her eyes softened as warm lights sone from her orbs. She shifted in his lap and flashed him a small smile feeling the result of his blood rushing south.

"Apology accepted," she smiled, her hands traveling north to cup his face, pulling them to rest against hers. "You're sure? There's no turning back."

He nodded, his hand snuck up behind her pulling at the nape of her neck until their lips touched without either of them having to pucker it.

"I'm gradually learning to just be happy about it and not think too much."

Her hands tenses for a split second but she could understand him since she wasn't thrilled about the development either, but she was quick to adjust and accept on her own.

"Am I forgiven then?"

"For?" She half jested, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

"For walking out on you, for coming back home reeking of alcohol that night. For not coming around sooner; for not being receptive of your olive branches. For blaming you, for being absent, and for not making the appointment like I promised. Most of all, for letting you down and doing nothing but disappoint you in the past two months."

She smiled, and leaned down to peck him on the lips, but when he tightened his grip on her to deepen the kiss, she pulled back much to his chagrin.

"How long have you been practicing this?" She teased because it seemed rehearsed even though he was genuine and sincere, and she was only making this offhanded and seemingly innocent comment to lighten the mood.

A guilty look flashed across his face as he smiled sheepishly at her, and she mistook that as getting caught redhanded for the prep, but in his mind it was the conversation that he had with Brie on his jet. Of everything they discussed, every innocent topic they broached about life, the one anecdote she shared about her past relationships struck with him.

Brie only did serious, long term, committed relationships; at least, that was the nature of all her past love affairs. Her job had limited her choices already, and it was no surprise that the longer lasting ones were with some of the cabin crews. Even so, her last boyfriend still broke up with her citing her issues of being unavailable on so many levels.

"No matter what went down, or what she's done Christian, if she felt like you weren't there; you are unavailable to her, then this is on you. You will have to fix it, and from what I've heard from you, you clearly don't want her to leave, so you'll have to show that you cared despite not in total agreement with her."

"How do you know so much?"

"I've been called emotionally unavailable so many times that I now think it's my motto. I don't know if it's my job but whenever my past relationship rose to a whole new level, I was perceived as lacking commitment. I tried to be there for everything, tried to be there for them when they needed me, but my job is demanding and I've apologized for too many goddamn times, still it kills my relationship. So, I'm telling you that you have the means to be there yet you chose to be unavailable, so you need to make it right."

"How?"

"Start with an apology. We, women, love hearing that from men. Make her understand that you are aware of the mistake that you are making by choosing to be unavailable to her."

He stared at her skeptically, and at a loss for words. He had never groveled before.

"Practice one me, and I will refine it for you as much as I can since I know very little."

…

Instead of answering her, he pulled her back in for a deep kiss. His hands roamed over her body to distract her, and he was confident that it would work. Her moan only encouraged him down his current path.

Determined to distract her and reacquaint himself with her body, he let his hand glide down her thigh and beneath her skirt, smoothing over the skin on her inner thigh reaching the apex, eliciting another moan from her.

He felt like he ruled again not knowing that he still wasn't the one wearing the pants in this relationship despite how it appeared like he was in charge.

"Christian, we're in the car," she mumbled frantically trying to pull away from his addicting lips and tame her wild sex appearance.

"We are," he replied, slipping his tongue back inside her mouth as if it belonged there.

"Christian…" she moaned in protest but he only cared about her sexual reciprocation. "My clothes…"

"Are going to end up on the floor anyway. Stop worrying."

"No, wait," she finally managed to detach her mouth from his but she was still at a disadvantage with his hand still up her skirt in her underwear. "Fuck…" she sighed, leaning forward to create more friction against the tip of his fingers hoping he would apply a tad bit more pressure against her slit.

"You were saying?" He teased, pressing a finger through her wet folds and watched her throw her head back. It had been too long for her too.

"I- oh my god…" her breath quickened when he added a second finger. "Ah…"

He grinned smugly. Yup, he still had it, and the sight in his lap was one to behold.

In the back of his mind he could feel the difference her body felt under his hand from a several weeks ago, and he was determined to fully explore the changes that had happened to her physically once they got to their bed. He may still not be entirely on board with becoming a father because the idea of parenting still scared him to death, but he was certainly on board with the changes that were occurring, and he wanted to be there to witness every single alteration in detail and up close.

"I'm close…" she panted in his ear, biting down on his neck to hide her whimper that still sounded rather loud next to his ear, but he couldn't give a fuck because god he had missed the little noises she made when he gave her pleasure. "Yes…" she hissed, "just a bit faster," her hips rose and fell, meeting each thrust from his finger as he pumped into her.

He knew exactly what she was asking for, and he had every intent to fill her need. He only wished that it was his dick instead of his fingers that was sheathed deep inside of her tight warmth. When her walls clenched around him, he almost came in his pants.

The way her hips were grinding on his crotch as she neared her climax was enough to ensure that his pre-cum not only wet his underwear but also smeared it all over the front. He eased her down from her orgasm with his fingers, and lifted her slightly to check the mess in his lap; she had left a trail not only outlining his incredible boner but also the evidence of her pleasure.

She panted in his ear as she leaned against his body to catch her breath, and he adjusted himself even though with her sitting right on top of it only made it worse for him. As he waited for her to catch her breath, he smiled inwardly.

They were good.

In his mind, making her cum would definitely make her more agreeable and it eased the guilt that was eating up to him. She wasn't suspecting anything, and he wanted to keep it that way because it would be in the past and it wouldn't happen again so there was no need for him to disclose that piece of information. It would only upset her.

"We're almost home, baby," he whispered in her ear and took the chance to nuzzle his cheek against hers. "Are you feeling better now?"

"We still need to talk."

Talk about pouring cold water, his hard-on deflated like someone had just stabbed it like a balloon.

Her heels came off of her feet the moment they stepped into the elevator, and she handed them to him as if it was the most natural gesture in the world. When he gave her a quizzical look as he took them from her skeptically, she only stared back and shrugged her dainty shoulders as if to tell him to quit staring.

His attention however, shifted instantly to the tint of crimson that lingered on her cheeks. If he didn't know better he would've thought this was her natural color, but he knew better, and he was damn pleased with his handiwork.

The sight alone was enough to excite him, and have him drooling once again. He felt like a giddy teenage boy on his third date with the girl he'd been desiring since he first saw her moving her body. The fact that their first encounter was rather embarrassing for her, he now found the memory extremely endearing.

It made him reminisce the time when he was doing everything he could think of to get her to even look his way, and now that he'd put a ring on her finger, he somehow turned into that kind of man who would no longer take the time to appreciate the intricate details that made her unique and exquisite. Perhaps it was the guilt of his recent actions that had been weighing heavily on his mind, but he just needed to distract her the only way he knew how.

"Hey," he reached out and grabbed her instinctively, her shoes dropping to the floor of the foyer simultaneously with a thud. His voice was soft, and uncharacteristically gentle. "Where are you going?"

"To change, then to the library because we still need to talk. We really do."

"I know," he tugged her closer and pulled her flush against his body. "Let me help you," he lowered his face to hers, gazing right into her eyes to search for any traces of anger or rejection, but he saw her nodding her head and felt her hands gliding up his sides.

If her eyes still showed a bit more emotion than lust and affirmation, it was nothing negative, but rather doubt as to whether it was the right call in this moment.

To eradicate the last bit of doubt from her eyes, he closed the distance between them, planting his mouth firmly against hers and his large hands cupping her face holding it in place so she could only look at him.

"Let me help you change," he hoisted her up wrapping her legs around his waist, only pulling apart enough to let her nod and suck in a deep breath before diving right back in.

They both knew that was a code for sex but Ana quickly convinced her mind that it would just be a temporary distraction, and it would result in her changing her clothes anyway. They had all night, except she seemed to have forgotten who he was to the rest of the world.

So, she relented and submitted to the ministrations of his tongue in her mouth.

It was only a matter of seconds before she was standing stark naked before him in front of their bed. Her current state of nudity was still something that she wasn't completely used to, yet she complied when his hands pulled hers away to reveal herself fully to him. Her clothes were in a pile on the floor next to the entrance to the walk-in closet like he promised in the car. He took a step back to admire the fine specimen, to really drink her in.

"I've been missing out on so much," he breathed out in appreciation, his hands itching to touch her.

Her breasts filled out more, and now looked heavy without the support from a bra. Her butt was rounder and fuller, a change he felt when she sat in his lap. It wasn't until now did he realize that he would much prefer this kind of feminine appearance than the petite, delicate body he was used to.

Lastly, his eyes landed on the small pouch that was starting to show just beneath her stomach. It was no longer flat, instead there was a hint of evidence that there was something growing underneath that mounded flesh.

"Christian," she called softly, bringing his focus away from her midsection as his finger tips scraped over them with his laser focus solely on her no longer flat stomach. "I need to change."

"No," he shook his head and stared at her incredulously before returning his gaze to her lower abdomen.

He thought they had an understanding that sex came first. "No clothes, no talk, we'll do that later."

"But…"

"Later," he interrupted, marching toward her in determined strides. She padded backward at his predatory strikes until the back of her legs hit the mattress, and she started to lose her balance.

His arms caught her just before she fell, softening the fall as he landed above her. He studied her face once more, this time satisfied that there was only lust, and the dilating of her pupils telling him just how turned on she was.

He kissed her, initially planning for it to be a peck so he could move downward to inspect the more intimate changes in her but her hands were caught in his hair and were pulling him down further so that he could feel his nose being pressed against her cheek to the point he couldn't breathe.

She was hungrier and much more desperate than she had even been for him, and the intensity both shocked him and aroused him even more. His tongue fought with hers for dominance, and when she would normally surrender to him, she only fought harder this time.

Her slim fingers traveled down his clothed back, her legs hooked behind his hips, pinning him right on top of her so that he couldn't even move if he wanted to.

"Take your clothes off," she pulled away enough to speak and anti in his lust dazed face.

"You do it," he usually would still be hesitant about her touching him fearing his aggressive reactions but lately he had been acting like this was an issue that needed to be dealt with once and for all. "Undress me," he encouraged when her hands stilled on his sides. "Touch me, baby, it's okay."

"Are you sure?" She just didn't trust her shaky hands to remain still as they roam freely over his body.

He nodded firmly and squeezed his eyes shut awaiting the physical connection. They had only tried it in the shower when she was lathering him up with a loofah, and sometimes her hand would slip from the sponge and accidentally touch him, and he seemed receptive of it.

They had never even considered trying it in bed, let alone during sex. He feared it would kill their mood and he may hurt her if he reacted badly. While he had always been appreciative of the personal space she had given him, and her respect toward his physical boundary regarding touch, he felt like there had always been a nagging hope in her that one day she could have all of him.

His plan never had a specific time for him to get over his issues with touch, and he had always imagined the process to be trying but gradual and progressional. Maybe they could try it for a few minutes longer each time, and they could be traveling all over the world together to distract him from the associating anxiety.

And now, this baby was forcing him to speed things up. He knew in the back of is mind that they'd start a family eventually, and part of being ready for a newborn included being accepting of touch. He just knew there was no way he wouldn't let his kid touch him, so he had to find a way to accept it.

"Are you okay, Christian?" Her sweet, angelic voice gave him the confidence and courage that he lacked and he prompted her to continue as he felt her knuckles and nails grazed at is bare skin as she released button after button from the collar to the very last one at the bottom, until her hands were fumbling with the belt buckle.

That was when he finally let out the breath that he was holding tightly. Her hands cupped his face and he opened his eyes to stare into the welcoming blue ones that he always found solace in.

"How do you feel?" She whispered, and that was when he began to notice that maybe his earlier experiences had scarred his mind to much that he was imagining the frightening burning pain to an extent.

This time however, he didn't have to fight the urge to shove the hands away, nor did he have to suppress the urge to scream or pain because there was none. The touch was uncomfortable to say the least, but the usual violent reactions never once entered his mind. He thought he had to tell himself to not hurt her but it turned out to be a needless worry.

The only feeling he had to get over was the discomfort the touch felt over his skin, but he was confident now that with Ana, her touch would be pain-free.

Instead of answering her verbally, he swiftly yanked everything off of him and got into the same attire as her. The need for her burned in his eyes, and the intense, raw emotions that her simple touch flared up the primal animal in him.

He had a plan to take his time with her, to feel her and to note the change of her body mentally, but once again, she blew that plan right off.

"Perfect," he growled and that was the only answer she was going to receive verbally.

Kneeling on the center of the bed he adjusted her so she was laying directly in between his thighs, he gazed down at her form splayed across the bed with her arms outstretched and her hair randomly scattered across the pillow.

He could feel his erection growing harder and much more painful but he needed to distract her by making her feel good. He needed her to forget about how immaturely he behaved over the news, and how much of a bastard he had been to her in the last few weeks, he also needed to apologize for how much time he had missed with her because he had chosen to be an asshole.

He just needed her to forget about talking and just feel how good he could make her feel. He wasn't ready for the talks yet, and that much was obvious.

"Ah!" Her chest jerked upward followed by her back as they arched into his mouth the instant he latched onto one of her perky breasts. They looked rounder and darker but they tasted the same, through from her reaction, he knew that they were much more sensitive. "Oh my god, Christian," her hands came down in a vain attempt to shove his mouth off of her.

He grinned, with her senses heightened everything would be much more intense, and that was just how he liked it. On his way south, he paid a little more attention to her slightly hardening midriff where their child now resided. It was still an experience that was totally out of his comfort zone, and he still thought it was too real to be acceptable but he could feel himself beginning to appreciate the changes to her body and be in awe of it.

Finally, he had found one perk of the pregnancy he enjoyed. Maybe he could slowly get used to the idea of them making a baby together, and raising them.

I understand that this isn't for anyone but even if you don't have anything nice to say, still say it. Don't let me drive you away and don't keep anything to yourself, troll away!

X

Saph T