A/N
JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.
Regina was up with the dawn come Saturday morning. She had to almost physically drag her sons out of their beds/couches and get them fed and bundled into winter weather gear. Emma was taking the kids to her family's cabin on the lake just out of Storybrooke. It was frozen over like it always was this time of year and all of their children were avid skaters, just like their mothers.
Regina was weary, Emma hadn't reacted very well to Damon's arrest earlier in the week and had yet to make much effort to make the situation work.
On the positive side Regina had barely seen Belle at her firm for the rest of the week, and hunt for a new house was going well. She had several prospective houses to look at over the weekend, and she also had a rather interesting appointment at their local diner, Granny's at 10 that morning.
She was meeting the anonymous donor father of her and Emma's youngest son, Daniel, and the child Regina was currently growing in her belly.
The man had reached out to her just after her shock split from Emma, and she had agreed to meet him. She was curious about his motives, and a little apprehensive to meet him, especially after finding out his name was supposedly Robin Hood. Like the fairy-tale character.
She still hadn't told a soul of her plans. She wanted desperately to talk it through with someone but she had no options. Her kids didn't need the unnecessary hurt, her father always supported her no matter what so he wouldn't be objective, and Emma had been her best friend and confident, their split leaving her the most alone she'd ever been in her life, and leaving her with no one to confide in.
The local sheriff, David, and his wife, Mary Margaret had shown Regina their support, they kept sending them food, and though she was grateful she simply wasn't close enough with them to ask their advice in such an intimate subject.
Promptly at 8am, when all three of her sons were still bleary eyed and picking at their breakfast, the familiar sound of Emma's car horn assaulted their eardrums.
"Alright boys, have fun, if you need anything, call me. I'm serious. I'm here." She wrapped Daniel in a hug and ruffled Henry's hair after he dodged her hug.
"And remember, give your mother a chance, I know the last few weeks have been hard for you guys, but she still loves you all. Remember that." She told them, her eyes pricking a little as she stood up for the woman she'd spent decades loving, the woman who'd lied to her for a year and the woman who'd crushed her heart into the useless pulp it was currently.
Damon looked sullen, Henry looked equally as dismal, only Daniel seemed excited to see his other mother, whom he had missed dearly.
"Whatever." Damon muttered, picking up his backpack and putting on his headphones. He took Daniels hand and led him outside, Henry trailing reluctantly behind.
Regina stood on the porch, watching them go, her brows creased into a frown as they climbed into Emma's car. She was relieved to see Belle wasn't in the car, but it was a small relief in comparison to her tremendous concern for how the day would fare.
Once they were gone Regina went back inside, cleared away the breakfast mess and treated herself to a long, hot shower. Refreshed she dried herself off and dressed smartly in a black pencil skirt, a crimson blouse, black stockings and boots and a thick grey coat. She choose one that did not cling to her figure, making her baby bump less conspicuous, as she hadn't yet informed Robin that she was currently pregnant with his biological child.
She pulled on her matching red woollen gloves and scarf, grabbed her wallet, cell and keys, tucking them into her black leather handbag and then she too left the house.
As per usual for her day time look she kept her makeup in neutral colours and dark, shiny hair was styled in its usual glamorous long bob.
Feeling as confident as she could with a broken heart and her stomach tied in nervous knots she drove to Granny's, arriving five minutes before she was due to meet Robin. It was very cold out and waiting in her freezing car wasn't an option.
She entered the quaint diner, the strong smell of coffee making her mouth water, the hardest part of pregnancy for her being the caffeine withdrawals, and the heat from the radiators enveloping her in comforting warmth.
The woman who ran the diner, everyone called her Granny, greeted Regina warmly and took her order for herbal tea and an apple strudel enthusiastically. There were quite a few customers, the Saturday morning buzz filling the room as Regina looked for an empty table. A booth near the back was empty and she slid into it before anyone could claim the seat.
She glanced at her phone, checking the time, it was two minutes to ten. Time felt like it was standing still. Regina's eyes flicked between the customers, looking for Robin but she only saw people she recognized from around the town, no unknown man, no one that shared Daniel's facial features.
She tapped her carefully manicured nails against the table impatiently until the front door opened. The bell rang merrily, announcing the arrival of a new customer, and the arrival of a person who was about to become an important fixture in Regina's life, whether she knew it or not.
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Emma was discouraged by her son's greetings when she picked them up from their grandfather's house. Daniel had hugged her immediately, but there was where the good stuff ended.
"Why did you leave me?" Daniel had wailed, instantaneously bursting into tears, his six year old brain too overwhelmed with the split to have any other reaction. Damon and Henry both just sat sullenly, the older boy listening to music on his headphones and ignoring her completely, the younger one looking uncomfortable.
Emma had done her best to satiate Daniel, her heart wrenching in two as he looked at her with betrayal, but soldiering through until he'd calmed down.
The drive the lake house was uncomfortably quiet, the tension so thick Emma felt like she would suffocate. It's true she hadn't taken to motherhood like most women. She had struggled to bond with Henry as a baby, breast feeding was difficult for her and as Regina had already raised a kid it had been so easy for her to pass off the baby duties to her.
And while Regina had tended to the baby, Emma had found delight in the years older Damon. He was an adventurous child and he was thrilled to go on exciting adventures with her.
They had bonded strongly, as she had with Henry when he got older as well. She liked being in charge, she liked the responsibility and she felt like a lioness protecting her cubs when she was with them.
When she had seen how much Regina wanted her career she had volunteered to be the stay at home parent. She had been a manager of a store but she had no love for the job. Even though she didn't feel much emotional connection to her children as babies, once they grew up a little and showed personality and went on adventures with her, then she really went through that fierce motherly bonding.
She did struggle with showing emotions, and she did find herself taking on the stricter, more disciplined role, especially as she often found Regina's emotional connection to the boys clouded her judgement.
Where her wife would let them sleep in their bed after a nightmare, she insisted they go back to their beds, her logic being, if you fall off a horse, you get back on it. That's how she was raised and she wanted her sons to be strong men, not coddled mama's boys.
Despite their different ideas on parenting though she and Regina had always managed to compromise, they communicated well and they never let the sun set on argument. And she had loved her. God she had loved her. Regina was perhaps the only person Emma had ever truly shown her soul too, and certainly the only person she displayed deep emotions for.
Heck, before the day she had finally confessed her affair toe Regina, she hadn't cried in almost a decade. Since that day Emma was entirely certain a day had gone by that she hadn't cried.
She didn't know how she had fallen in love with Belle, or how she had fallen out of love with Regina. But it had hit her one day, as she left Belle behind, her lover lounging naked, so young and nubile, in her bed, talking of jetting to Paris, and arrived home to Regina, her wife stressed, pregnant and rushing around after the kids, and she had felt a change in her heart.
Regina never prioritised Emma anymore. It was always about the kids, about having another baby, about painting the kitchen. So boring.
And there was Belle, an incredibly young, gorgeous, kinky girl who had seduced her so completely, just begging to be Emma's new adventure.
Her choice hadn't been easy. You can't love someone for so long and fall out of love without some confusion and trauma. But she had chosen, even though it had been hard.
However working up the courage to tell Regina had been so much harder, and literally took her months.
And now, here she was, so sure she'd made the right decision, and yet completely miserable.
It's only because you missed your kids, she told herself as she and the boys skated on the sparkling ice of the lake.
But you never even loved them that much before, a tiny voice in the back of her head whispered, making tears of guilt gather in her eyes until she wiped them away fiercely.
Angry at herself Emma skated to the edge of the lake and sat down in the snow, fiercely repeating the same words over and over again.
No. I do love them. I don't love Regina. And I do love Belle.
I do love them. I don't love Regina. And I do love Belle.
I do love them. I don't love Regina. And I do love Belle.