A/N: It's rated M for a reason!

Songs: Fire on Fire by Sam Smith, Movement by Hozier, and Power Over Me by Dermot Kennedy.

Chapter 14- Elliot

"Yes."

The way she said it was so soft and broken. He knew he couldn't leave her in the dark anymore. He stepped toward her and braced her arms as he turned her around so her back was facing towards the door.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he sighed as he rubbed his thumbs into her upper arms. The case had driven him to the brink. He'd never grappled with loss like this before. The loss of the boy, the possible loss of this partnership, the loss of himself, the loss of them. He'd been feeling empty for hours, deflated by the heights they'd faced in the last few days. Yet, now that he was standing before her, he could feel himself returning to the ground. Her eyes steadying him.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she repeated his words and neither of them were saying enough. He closed his eyes as he squeezed her upper arms tighter. That moment when she had hit the train station floor had been the worst moment of his life. He needed her to know, he needed her to know, but he didn't have the words. He opened his eyes to her, and she was looking at him with oceans brimming against her tired eyelids.

"Let me see you cry, Liv," he instructed, and the surprise flashed through her eyes before the floodgates finally gave in and tears poured down her cheeks. As he watched her cry, he realized he could count on one hand the amount of times she'd done this in front of him. They saw the worst of humanity every day, and she rarely allowed herself the expression. Even the times she had; the tears had never streamed like they were now. This was different, it wasn't about a case or injustice. She was crying for him, for them and it brought tears to his own eyes.

"Ask me again," he said in a tone so low he worried she wouldn't hear him through her soft sobs.

"Ask you what?" she asked through her tears. The moisture from her eyes had met the corners of her mouth. Her nose, her cheeks, and her lips were flushed, and he couldn't help but think she looked beautiful when she cried.

"To kiss your mouth," he said as he let his thumb swipe across the butterfly stitch on her neck; he wanted to kiss her there too. She closed her eyes in contemplation for a moment before she exhaled and said,

"Kiss my mouth, Elliot." Her words were unwavering, and he knew he couldn't fail her this time. He stepped all the way into her space and let his thumb dance across her jaw as he caught her bottom lip in his. He let both his lips capture it as he pulled on it softly. She moaned, and he couldn't believe he finally had his mouth on hers, eight years.

He gripped her waist as a way of opening her mouth to his. Both his lips rose to find her top one. As their mouths came together fully, their restraint snapped. She met him with everything that couldn't be held back anymore.

Her mouth sought him out with anger and pain and lust and salt. Her tears mingled with their mouths as his teeth toyed with her bottom lip. His thumbs brushed away the tears that kept spilling, making her mouth more wet. He couldn't get enough; tasting her was too much. She bit him back on his lip, and that seemed like reason enough to let his tongue enter her mouth. Hers met his, and neither of them wanted to give into the other. She'd always been his rival, his equal, and she challenged him in ways he wasn't certain he was ready to comprehend. She was more than he ever could have guessed. All those fantasies faded to nothing as he finally tasted her mouth against his.

"Give in," he groaned against her as his fingers curled around her waist and hoisted her against the wall. Her back hit the door and her legs wrapped around his waist, where they belonged. Her robe fell loosely around her thighs.

"You have to kiss me harder," she taunted, and his eyes darkened on her as he complied with her command. His mouth held nothing back as he thrust his tongue into her mouth, causing her to moan louder than she had before. She tried to catch air between his demands on her lips, but she was breathless, and so was he.

Her mouth was so warm; it kept pulling him back in. Her lips were soft and full. He pulled back to examine how they were swollen from his work. He grinned as he kissed her again, and again. He never wanted her to forget how he'd made her mouth taste. Her chest was rising and falling in rhythm to his lips' motions on hers, and he loved the way they moved. She anticipated his every intention and met him there.

He held her firmly against the door, his fingers clinging to her stomach with the silk between his fingertips and her skin. He moved one hand up to her neck and touched the scar Gitano had given her. He let his mouth move over her bottom lip and down her chin, until his lips found her neck. His finger touched the scar first, and then his mouth found it. He kissed her there, and he could feel her breath hitch more. He'd thought he had lost her. He couldn't stay on that spot too long because it hurt him too much. He let his lips find her earlobe instead, and he sucked it into his mouth, and she groaned. Everything on her was too much for him. He kept kissing her neck, and he wasn't soft or tender. He wanted her to wake up in the morning and remember where he had been.

He'd been wanting to mark her since the day he laid eyes on her. Her neck was all his, and she didn't stop him when he let his mouth suck hard against her delicate skin. Instead, she decided it was only fair that she mark him too. Then he met her lips again because it had already been too long since he'd had his mouth opened against hers.

His body was hard, and he knew he wanted to take her against the door, but he hadn't come here for himself. He hadn't signed his papers, and he wasn't about to go back on his word. He'd come because he needed her to know the thought of losing her was unbearable. He always wanted her as his partner. He hadn't come because he wanted to fuck her against her doorway. He started to pull away, but she clawed against his neck.

"Don't you dare," she said as her eyes opened on him.

"I'm not going to," he said firmly, and she glared at him. She was completely at his mercy, her body pinned defenseless against the door, the tie of her robe trying desperately to hold on. He loved that he had that power over her, but he knew she had power over him too. Her legs were wrapped around him like a vice, and she wouldn't release him unless he released her first.

"Please El," she said, and he took some sick satisfaction in being able to make her beg.

"You're not a quick fuck against some lockers or a doorway Olivia," he said as he pulled on her hair and kissed along her jaw.

"I don't care," she cried as she tried to thrust her hips towards him. He pushed her hips harder against the door.

"It will change our partnership," he said, but he knew the partnership was already changed. There was no coming back from a kiss like that. He wouldn't ask for the switch, but it was only a matter of time before the captain ordered it, unless they did what they did best and ignored it.

"I don't care," she repeated, and he couldn't help but laugh at her softly.

"How about I make you a deal," he whispered against her collar bones and then soothed his tongue over her pulse point. Her neck was thrumming with energy, and he was drinking in how on edge she was.

"Stop playing," she hissed.

"One orgasm," he responded.

"What!" she said as her eyes flicked up to his.

"One orgasm," he repeated as he grinned down at her, "how do you want me to give it to you?"

"I want you inside of me," she said, and the words almost made him lose his hold on her.

"Anyway but that way," he corrected, and she groaned in frustration. He bunched her robe up around her hips to see she only had on grey panties. He let his hands skim down her body, his fingers slipping under the loose silk. He lifted her off the wall slightly so the robe would fall from her shoulders. Now all that was left was her thin tank top and underwear. He could see her hardened nipples straining against the grey fabric. He let his thumb flick over them once and her response made him harder. Then he quickly moved his hands down her thighs. Her skin was like silk beneath his touch. Her legs were impossibly long, and her panties were wet.

"If I do this, you promise me you won't run?" he asked as his hands gripped her thighs, his fingers looming closer to her center. She glanced up at him and something flashed across her face before she nodded through her arousal.

"Please touch me, El." The sound of her begging made him feel weak.

"I won't fuck you, but I'll make you come," he said as he let his hand cover her center.

"Fine," she groaned as she tried to take a steadying breath.

"Promise me you'll look me in the eyes tomorrow, promise me that we will still be able to work together," he whispered as he cupped her harder, he could feel her heat against his hand. She pressed her heels into his backside to tell him to get on with it.

"Say it," he commanded.

"Yes," she breathed out, but she wouldn't look at him. He sighed as he pushed back her panties and let his fingertips tease her slit. She was bare, and she was so ready, so ready for him, and he was being cruel for not letting her have him. He kissed her temple as he let one of his fingers spread her open. He added another finger to her folds, and she moaned. He knew it wouldn't take long, she was already close, and he'd barely touched her. He'd try to keep her on the edge for as long as he could. He circled her opening and finally, he pushed a finger deep inside her. He pulled it out and added a second. She was a vice around his fingers, tight and soft, and his brain was working overtime trying to connect the fact that he was touching her this way. Olivia, his partner, he'd wondered for so long. He pumped his fingers fast and then curled them in as he practically pulled her off the wall. He watched his fingers moving in and out of her. His thumb brushed her clit, and she lifted off the wall more. He circled her clit slowly and watched as her eyes fought to stay fixed on him. She was so swollen; he knew one firm press would leave her slumped against the wall. He wanted to finish her with his mouth, but he also wanted to make sure they could survive this first. Baby steps, he knew she was a runner. He slid his fingers two more times as he let his mouth fall over her covered nipple. He teased her there with his teeth and let his thumb press into her clit.

With that, he felt her tighten and come against his fingers. He watched as the orgasm took over her body. Her thighs shook slightly around his waist and he loved seeing the tremor in her muscles as she rode it out. Her legs went slack against him, and he was the only thing holding her up. She was looking at him as she steadied her breath and he grinned at her as he lifted his fingers to his mouth and sucked her taste from his hand. Her eyes darkened as she watched him do it. He couldn't believe he'd just done that. It would be a small miracle if she ever looked at him again. He wanted more.

"Let me make it even," she said as she reached for his belt buckle, but he placed his hands over hers.

"Not tonight."

"Elliot, it's not fair," she said as her eyes roamed over him, "I'm completely undone, and you get to stand there with all your dignity? You can just walk away from this unaffected?" she questioned as her hands clutched at his leather jacket.

"I'm not unaffected," he said with strain. He was trying not to think about how affected he was. Her hands slipped under his shirt and he could feel her fingers running along his abdomen. He was tensing his muscles as he tried to hold onto his composure.

"Let me have you," she whispered as she found his mouth again, and he kissed her back, hard.

"You do have me, Liv," he said, between kisses, as he pressed his forehead against hers, only their top lips still connected.

"Not like you have me," she sighed in a defeated voice.

"I'm trying to make sure we survive this," he said as he brushed her hair out of her face. He could be cruel in one touch and tender in the next, but only with her. He'd never been so simultaneously tender and cruel to another woman before.

"We've survived a lot," she said as the vision of her holding her gun at him flashed across his eyes. She'd been so scared, and he'd told her that he knew she would have taken the shot. He never would have taken the shot; how could he have expected that of her? How could he expect her to not want him, when he'd always wanted her.

"Okay," he sighed as he looked at her, and she knew what he meant. Her fingers unfastened his belt. She unhooked her legs from around him and stood on solid ground. She pushed his jeans over his hips, taking his boxers with the denim. His length escaped before her and she sank to her knees.

"Liv…" he said as his hand fell to the top of her head. Her hair was so soft in his fingers. The carnal side of him wanted to fist her hair and hold her down, in place.

"I want to El, do you want me to?" she asked as she looked up at him with her impossibly dark eyes. She was sin. He'd dreamed about her doing this more times than he cared to admit and now that he was watching her before him, he knew he'd never be able to deny her or himself again.

"Yes," he sighed. He closed his eyes for a moment as he grappled with his guilt. It had been so long since someone had touched him like this, so rare, and he never thought he'd have this with her. Her mouth closed over him, taking his tip between her pursed lips, he watched as she did it, and his heart was hammering. She kept her eyes trained on him as she slid her mouth down his length. He was so hard in her mouth, and he knew he wouldn't last long. She pulled back as her tongue stroked his underside. He felt the pulsing through his body, and he tried to grasp for some composure.

She touched him in all the right places as she continued her motions with her mouth and her hand. He couldn't help but thrust into her mouth. She held the back of his thigh steady with her spare hand, her nails applying just the right amount of pressure as she clutched him. When he knew he was close he said,

"Where."

She didn't respond, instead she continued until he came in her mouth. He cried as he released himself, and it felt freeing that he didn't have to hold back in front of her. He trusted her with his body in every way. He pulled her up and kissed her.

"You are…," amazing, he began but she cut him off by deepening their kiss. He felt her push against his body, trying to coax him into her apartment further.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," she admitted through broken kisses, and he softly laughed against her lips, it was good to know the fantasies had never been one-sided. After a pause she added,

"You're not going to stay, are you?" Her belly was pushed against him, her arms draped around his neck, and he was still exposed. It felt good to stand in her warmth and let her hold him, but he knew he had to leave, so they could both process. He removed her arms from around him, grasping her forearms firmly and then placing them at her sides, so she knew what he'd decided. Then he reached for her robe on the floor and tied it loosely around her. His fingers lingered on the ties as his eyes rested on her.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, dragging his eyes from her body, as he cupped her face with both hands and forced her to look at him, "At work."

"Elliot…" she protested but he released her face, and he got dressed. If he stayed any longer, he would go back on the promise he'd made her in his bed months ago. The divorce papers will be signed first. It didn't seem like it mattered now, but he was a man of his word, and if he had anything left, it was that.

"We're gonna be okay, Liv," he said as he kissed her forehead, "We'll figure it out, nothing has to happen all at once," he added as he touched the side of her face with his palm, before reaching for her door.

"I'll bring you a coffee," he added, and then he let the door shut. He tried not to think too much about the haunted look on her face.