A few days later, Jack was up bright and early, and he still felt dreary from the past few days. The holiday depression had definitely kicked in. He trudged downstairs to the living chamber, and to his surprise, none of his family was in the living chamber. Not a single one of them sleeping or drunkenly sprawled out on the floor.
He went down the next flight of stairs to the Great Chamber, and he suddenly found where all his family had went. They were all gathered around the tree opening presents. All of them were there: Teague, Uncle Jack, "Quick Draw" McFlemming, "Ace" Brannigan, Aunt Hazel, Patriarch, Valerie, the little cousins, Grandmama, and Mum sitting right on top of the tree. Jack shivered at the sight of Mum, but he tried to remember what Uncle Jack told him.
"Happy Christmas, Jacky-boy!" Teague cheered as the family took notice of Jack's presence.
"Oh right," Jack said flatly, "it's Christmas."
"Come 'ere, boy," Teague said. "I've got somethin' for you."
Jack carefully stepped over the kids and all the empty present wrappings. "Is it going to be another pair of socks?" he asked.
"Nope, even better," Teague replied, searching under the tree for Jack's gift. He paused and looked down, pointing at Jack's bare feet. "But what happened to the socks from last year?"
"Ah, too many holes," Jack quickly answered. But that was not why he didn't wear any of his Christmas socks.
He kept all of his socks in the abandoned dungeons with his books and rags for when he needed to do the deed himself. He had been caught too many times trying to do it in his own home. When he was ten, Valerie locked him in a crate for a long period of time and he decided to do it right there. Valerie eventually caught him and pulled him out with his trousers down to his ankles. She cried in laughter while young Jack sobbed in shame. The second time, Teague barged in on him when he was thirteen and was given a harsh flogging by Grandmama. Jack shook his head at the memory.
Teague found his present and stepped over to Jack. It was a long narrow box with a crudely tied bow on it. Jack stared down at the box and looked up at Teague, as if he wanted permission to open it. Teague gave a nod and Jack proceeded to open his gift.
He lifted up the lid and revealed a nicely cushioned dagger in a molded leather sheath. Jack picked up the dagger and removed the sheath. The blade was new, shiny, and sharp. The corners of Jack's mouth slowly curled into a small smile.
"It's beautiful. Thank you," Jack whispered as he examined the dagger.
Teague turned to the family and clapped his hands. "Time for Christmas carols!"
"People still do those?" Valerie sneered. Everyone in the family got up and gathered around the tree.
"All right, mates!" Teague announced. "The first song we'll be singing is—" Teague was interrupted by a knife that whistled just past his ear. Everyone turned to Grandmama, who stood in the back.
"Avast ye all with the Christmas carols!" Grandmama yelled out. She pointed to the makeshift pirate flag tree skirt. "Ye can't be singing that to the Jolly Roger!" Everyone went quiet and whispered amongst themselves.
Jack was about to make a wisecrack comment when Valerie slapped him upside the head. "Don't give 'em any ideas!" she hissed.
It was too late, the family had already come up with an idea. "All right. How about we sing shanties then, aye?" Teague suggested
Jack raised an eyebrow. "Pirate songs? Sea shanties?" he questioned.
The family all began to sing.
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho..."
Jack stood there in confusion in the middle of his singing family members. "This is bloody ridiculous," he grumbled.
Valerie snorted in laughter.
"Come on, Jacky-Boy! Sing!" Uncle Jack said.
"Ugh. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me," Jack sang flatly.
Later in the evening, the entire family sat down together at the huge Brethren Court meeting table in the Great Chamber for their big Christmas feast. Jack sat next to Teague as everyone, except he and the little cousins, poured themselves drinks. He looked down at his soon-to-be-filled rusty tin plate, hoping he would have a peaceful Christmas dinner for once.
Grandmama came into the chamber with a large plate of a giant roasted pork. Everyone's mouths watered at the smell of the freshly cooked meat.
This was the one time of year when Jack was able to eat a full meal, since trying to go to the kitchen for even a small snack was a risk of his own life. Yet his family always asked him, "Why are you so skinny? You need to gain weight!" In which he replied with, "Well that's because none of you lot ever feed me!"
Grandmama held up her walking cane and unsheathed her sword from it. The sword was long and very very sharp, and Jack knew that from painful experience. He winced every time he saw the sword drawn. She held the sword slightly over the pork and began the slowly slice the thick meat. She did so over and over again, until she cut the last slice.
Grandmama held up her now meat and juice covered sword. "Dinner, is served!" she declared. The family cheered.
Everyone served themselves a slice of pork, with the sides of potatoes and corn. Jack slowly ate his meal, savoring the flavor of each bite, knowing he wouldn't have a good meal like this until next year, if ever again.
Unlike most everyone else's tankards, who's were filled with either spirits like beer or ale, or straight up rum or whiskey, his was filled with plain old grog, with the alcohol content so low, he couldn't even get a buzz off it. Jack hated that Teague wouldn't let him drink, especially when sitting with the whole family who were all drinking, and he'd have to deal with everyone's unruly drunken behavior whilst he was sober. He hoped everyone would somewhat behave this time.
Jack was next to Teague, and on the other side next to him was Uncle Jack, then Aunt Hazel and Patriarch. Across from Teague was Brannigan, and next to Brannigan, sitting across from Jack, was Valerie, McFlemming's four children, then McFlemming herself at the end of the table. The other end of the table, nearby Teague, sat Grandmama.
"Ay, did I ever tell ye kids about the skele'n?" Uncle Jack asked the little cousins. The four children shook their heads. "The skeleton goes into a bar, orders a beer and a mop!"
A chuckle came out of Brannigan. Three of the kids looked at each other, and one of them exclaimed, "Haha! You've gotta be shitin' me!"
Not even a moment after the kid spoke, something slammed at the end of the table, making everyone jump and turn to McFlemming. Jack choked on a piece of meat.
"HEY! Ye can't be using that language, ye little brat!" McFlemming yelled.
"Sorry," the child quietly peeped out.
McFlemming turned to the rest of the family. "Which one of ye's has been teachin' me children those words?!"
Everyone immediately turned to Jack, who was minding his own business and eating his dinner. He looked up when he felt everyone's eyes of him. "What?"
"Don't 'what?' me, boy!" Teague said. "You swear in front of the kids all the time!"
Jack raised his eyebrows, taken aback by Teague's comment. "Oh? Yes, I may be responsible for some of that, but weren't you the one cursing up a storm the other day, in front of all of us, while we were decorating the tree we had to sing 'A Pirate's Life For Me' to this morning?"
Teague slapped the boy upside the head. Valerie snickered. Jack huffed and went back to eating.
After a little while, everyone who was drinking started to feel the drinks. As Jack was finishing his meal, Valerie took her empty tankard and threw it at his head. However, her drunken aim was off and the tankard hit Uncle Jack instead. Uncle Jack slowly stood up, grabbed his own empty tankard, and threw it at Brannigan, who was just finishing his drink.
Brannigan stood up as well. "Oh yer going to be regretting that one, mate," he threatened. Just then, the two drunken uncles began to throw fists over the table.
Grandmama stood up and slammed the table. "Hey! Ye two! Go take it outside! Now!"
"Nice job, you bloody sea cow," Jack quietly said to Valerie with gritted teeth.
A knife whistled over Jack's head, just close enough the shave off the tips of his long, scraggly hair.
The fighting uncles made their way outside, still throwing fists, with the children excitedly following them, followed by Patriarch, McFlemming, Grandmama, and Teague.
Valerie jumped over the large table, charging at Jack with one of her knives. Jack nimbly sidestepped and Valerie ran past him and hit the wall, causing her knife to get stuck.
"Ha! Missed that one, mate," Jack said as Valerie struggled to pull her knife out of the wooden wall.
Jack noticed almost everyone else was gone, except for Aunt Hazel. Jack and Aunt Hazel made their way outside as well to observe the brawling family.
Uncle Jack and "Ace" Brannigan were still fighting, and the little cousins were helping to beat up Brannigan. One of the kids sat there crying because he got hit. Patriarch was attempting to break up the brawl to no avail. Nearby, Grandmama and "Quick Draw" McFlemming were also fighting, throwing knives at each other. Teague was sitting in a chair, strumming his guitar like usual. The was how a usual Christmas, or any other holiday, always ended in a pirate family.
Jack sighed. "I wish Teague would let me drink...so I could forget about all of this."
"Oh dear," Aunt Hazel said in worry. "What are the neighbors going to think?"
Jack snorted and chuckled a little to himself as he stared at his brawling family. If anything, a fighting family in front of their house was not too unusual in the town of Shipwreck City.
Jack smirked and answered, "They'd know that Christmas is here."
THE END!
(A/N: Ahoy! I originally published this story on WattPad a year ago on Christmas. Since I just started posting my stories on here, old and new, just recently, I thought it would be a good time to publish this story on here too. Although it doesn't really feel like Christmas to me this year because ya know, 2020, I still want to wish YOU all a Merry Christmas! And if I don't post here before then, Happy New Year too!)