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Chapter 30 - Hospital Blues

A raindrop falls in slow motion. It hits the surface of a puddle. The water's glassy surface ripples with cracks and dissolves. I think of a broken mirror, shards flying in every direction, satellites falling from the sky, metallic edges burning in re-entry.

In one reflective sliver, vague shapes swim in a sea of eddying grays layered on top of each other, merging and swirling. Occasional fluorescent-lit flashes of reality come and go, lasting brief instants. I see people around me. Their faces are faded smudges on a blank canvas, distorted pictures trapped in the depths of the mirror's fragment. I never have enough time to make a connection, to give them meaning, to attach names to them before the mists return. Rinse and repeat. The room is at times darker or brighter, but it's always just another tile in a mosaic of shallow, discordant images.

Something sparkles in my peripheral vision.

I'm in an old room. The furniture is strangely ornate, unlike anything I've ever seen. I bend down to look at the jagged pieces of glass strewn across the hardwood flooring and pick one of them up. There is somebody else in the room, but I can't bear to look. The one in my hand slips through my fingers….

I'm sitting on a boat. It's gliding across a river. A man in black robes is at the tiller. The river is wide, swaddled in banks of fog. I cannot see the other side.

"Where are we?"

"I'm just a ferryman. Don't you know where you're going?"

"I shouldn't be going anywhere. I can't leave her."

"That won't do. Let me take a look at you."

He turns to face me. Darkness pools in the empty sockets where his eyes should be and oozes down his face as thick and viscous as tar. I squeeze my own eyes shut, clamber over the gunwale and fall into the water.

The fragment hits the floor and shatters. A sudden glimmer blinds me and I close my eyes.

I open them again; I'm in our meadow. I'm sitting on the grass, surrounded by flowers. I'm alone. The clouds are vessels adrift in a sea of wind. I call out Lynn's name. There is blood on the grass and on my hands. A black bird flies across the face of the sun.

In the strange room a woman's pale face is reflected in the glass. Maroon streaks line her face. Her long, bronze hair tangles on the floor. My heart falls down an endless shaft.

Flowers sway in the breeze. A wild woman steps out of the forest. It's Victoria. She's come to end my life, but I don't care; if she's here Lynn must be lost…. I scream my love's name one more time and step toward my enemy.

"Kill me if you have to. I've come back before and I will do so again. Nothing you can do will keep us apart."

"Aren't you tired of this Earth yet? There are other paths open to you…."

"Do what you have come to do." I reply.

I watch her nails turn to claws and dig into my chest. When she pulls her hand out, a still beating heart is in her grasp. I feel nothing. She looks at me, puzzled. Reality drains into a whirlpool of dancing flames.

I'm in a large tent. I can see the walls but the ceiling is so high I can only sense its presence. Incense is burning in a brazier. A monk sits cross-legged next to it. The saffron robes he's wearing sparkle like diamonds.

"Where is she? Where is Lynn?"

I ask, quietly at first and then with a desperate shout. His smile never wavers and his lips never even twitch.

The broken glass in my hands cuts my skin, severs ligaments and tendons, cleaves veins and arteries. I lie next to the woman and hold her cold hand.

The monk's eyes are hard, yet gentle.

"All the trails in the forest lead back to her…. The bond won't be broken." He finally says, will-o'-the-wisps dervish-twirling in his eyes, brighter than his robes. Charcoal-black oil spreads like ink all around me.

"Lynn, where are you?" I call feverishly, over and over, lost in the gloom.

"Brandon, you're okay. It's just a dream. She's here."

A fluorescent-lit room comes into focus. My mom is holding my arm. My eyes sweep along her jeans and t-shirt, the blankets covering my body, the IV needle in one of my arms. I shift slightly and something stabs my chest viciously. My mom cringes.

"Try not to move too much, baby. You have three cracked ribs and a hairline fracture in your sternum, aside from your leg wound."

"Great." I mumble, unsure now. What is our story? Where is the broken mirror? What did any of that mean? Were they just fantasies concocted by a mind approaching the final unraveling of death? Most likely.

"Where is she?"

"Your friend Lynn is right here. She's sleeping. She must be tired. She hasn't left your side for two days." I exhale. She's okay and she's here with me. That's all that matters.

"Mom, I'm a little confused. What happened?"

My dad walks in. He looks relieved I woke up and answers my question.

"Brandon, you ran through one of the glass doors at their residence. I know you're a bit of a space cadet at times, often daydreaming of your music and your books, but you should really pay more attention to what you're doing."

"Ouch." I cringe. Good cover story, I think.

"It's coming back, isn't it? Your memory, I mean…" My mom looks concerned. I should do my best to reassure her, but carefully.

"Yeah, something like that. I thought the door was already open. I must have hit it pretty hard. I remember seeing quite a bit of blood and then everything mercifully going black." I improvise, remembering the blade embedded in my flesh with sickening clarity.

"That's bad luck, but not surprising. You've always been accident prone. Still, this is a first even for you. Fortunately the Cullens were able to give you first aid and then take you to the hospital. Your friend Lynn looked really distraught. She blamed herself." Mom's voice is rather brittle.

"Nonsense." My father rumbles. "It's not her fault. And I told you she's his girlfriend. Of course she was upset, but she gave him first aid and took him to the hospital. She saved his life again."

"I know." My mother looks at Lynn again. They must have gotten to know each other while I was unconscious. I know Lynn is only pretending to sleep of course, but my parents don't. They are completely fooled.

"She's beautiful, Brandon. And she's really smart too, and so polite and sweet. You are a lucky boy….."

I quietly blush.

"I really am, mom." I mumble.

"Well, Renee, I have to get back to work. Glad you woke up, son. You'll be out of here in no time."

"How long?"

"Maybe a day or two. I'll talk to Carlisle. Take your antibiotics and maybe we can spring you tomorrow."

"Okay, dad. Sounds good." Now, if only I could get rid of my mother.

"Brandon. Philip's new job was confirmed. We are definitely moving to Florida. We've already looked at some nice houses, and they all had a room for you… Why don't you come and live with us?"

"No, mom. I like it here in Forks. I want to stay here." My jaw is set. She knows this expression.

"It's the girl, isn't she? You really love her, don't you?"

I think of denying it but who am I kidding? I'm an open book to her. She would see through my lies easily.

"I do, mum." Let the blushes come. I'm too tired to fight them.

"Oh Brandon." She holds my hand. "She feels the same, doesn't she?"

I just nod, and grimace; when I change position my chest hurts. My mother just holds my hand and smiles. I can see she's also tired; she has probably been here for a while. It takes time, not to mention copious amounts of pleading and cajoling, but eventually I convince her to go back to her hotel room. I'm sure Lynn will take care of me while she's gone.

"You just want to be alone with her, Brandon. You don't fool me for a second." She winks at me and gives me a peck on the cheek as she takes her leave.

As soon as she's gone Lynn quickly comes to stand next to me. She smiles at first but her expression immediately turns to contrition.

"Oh Brandon." She says after a few seconds of strained silence. "I was so worried. We all were. You almost died. You looked so pale and lifeless when I took you to Carlisle at the hospital." She kisses me and the beeping of the heart-monitoring device I'm connected to goes into overdrive.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Lynn. Victoria looked like a formidable opponent. And you wouldn't believe some of the dreams, or nightmares, I just had. The fictions our minds can construct are pretty amazing… But let's talk about that later…. So, what happened after I passed out? Are the protectors all right too? Spare no details…"

Her story is delayed by the arrival of a nurse. She checks some of the gadgets arrayed around my bed and tries to give me more sedatives. I convince her to delay it. I've already been sleeping for hours and I need to talk to Lynn. After the nurse leaves she can finally resume her tale.

"There is not a lot to say. Sam and Seth dispatched the other woman. After I incapacitated Laurent, Victoria was in an untenable position."

"Don't tell me she managed to get away?"

She laughs.

"No. She tried to, but Rebecca slowed her down and we all finished her off together. But by then you had lost a lot of blood. I fixed the tourniquet and rushed you to the hospital. Carlisle had a transfusion ready and waiting for you before I even got there. The protectors all got a few bumps and bruises, er, actually a broken collarbone in one case. They will be fine though. They heal quickly, as you know. And they got to have a nice bonfire." She holds my hand but looks down at the floor.

I look around to make sure the nurse hasn't snuck back inside.

"The wound was actually knife-inflicted…."

"That's not what Carlisle's official report says. He treated you personally… There won't be any contrasting versions. And Alice, to Esme's dismay, had a lot of fun recreating the scene of the accident at our demesne. You could probably sue us if you wanted to." She replies calmly, but her eyes are still pained. "I'm so sorry Brandon. It's all my fault…."

"Stop that. Yes, it's your fault I'm here. If you hadn't saved me from that van I would be at the Forks cemetery, as we already discussed many times. Let this endless guilt-trip go already, Lynn. It's nonsense."

"Brandon, are you sure you don't want to move to Florida?" She looks serious, her eyes hard, but I can't read her.

"You'd have to spend all day indoors, Lynn. That would be pretty boring for you."

"No. I meant you could go there without me. You'd be safer…" Her smile turns to a desperate sulk.

It takes me a while just to parse her words. When I do, the beeping rises to another banshee-like crescendo. I'm so choked I can't even speak. I just hiss and splutter a bit, at first.

"How can you even say something like that?" I eventually croak. "We can't be apart, you know that. I need to be with you just as much as you need me by your side. We talked about this before… Unless everything you told me about your feelings was a lie I'm not going anywhere… So, you tell me. Was it?"

I glare at her with all my might. Has she gone insane?

She sighs, but her scowl turns into a bittersweet, yet exasperated, smile.

"There really is no way to get rid of you, is there?" And her eyes smolder again, temporarily speeding up my heart and the beeps from the equipment monitoring it.

"Nope. Not a chance. Nothing will keep us apart, you hear me, nothing. Not even death. I will always find a way to come back for you."

The last words are a distorted echo of my visions, but what is life if not a dream? She might think I'm crazy again, but she still kisses me, briefly; the monitor doesn't explode, barely.

"But don't ever say anything like that again. You almost gave me a heart attack. If you really want to kill me just make it quick and painless, please. Anything else would be unbearable." I try to look stern, probably fail.

She looks at me for a full minute, disparate emotions fighting a turf war in her mind. She bites her lip. Shakes her head. Her messy pony tail sways. I wait, counting the seconds, still disbelieving what I just heard.

"Okay. You win." She shrugs and sighs; the follow-up smile finally chases any lingering doubts away. Her darkening eyes melt.

"Everything I told you was the truth, but maybe I should lie to you now, tell you I don't love you anymore, try to leave. But it wouldn't help. Alice and Valerian told me that. They showed me futures in which at least one of us dies, and in most cases both of us. In some of them you kill yourself, and then I beg the Volturi to kill me. In others, the Volturi come here and slaughter my family because of my stupidity. You're right. We are like modern day Romeo and Juliet; we cannot live apart. Separating us would kill us both, and hurt everybody around us." She takes a break and shakes her head again, in disbelief more than anything else, but her smile is still in place.

"My heart told me that. That's what your eyes are telling me now. I give up." Her eyes smolder with renewed intensity. "I am yours, Brandon. I won't go anywhere unless you tell me to." She holds my arm with both of her hands. Her lips curl in amusement.

"Well, then…. There is only one way to make sure something like this doesn't happen again. You saved my life twice. I want to be able to save yours, or at least fight by your side. It's only fair. I want to be your partner, not your pet human."

She shakes her head, but the smile is still dazzling.

"I love you Brandon, but I don't want to turn you. The rest of my family will be happy to help you, I think, if you ask them nicely. If you want me to do it, however, you will have to answer my question. You remember it, right?"

"Yes." I also remember it sounded pretty silly to me. "Alright. I will talk to your family. Take me there when we leave this place."

"It's a deal." She's smirking a little now, but she can't hide she's still happy. Of course she wants me to do this. She just doesn't want to admit it. She was raised in different times, with different values. I like how old-fashioned she is in some ways, but the argument about a soul is kind of silly; it can't be proven either way…. Hmmm, not exactly, but maybe I have an idea. I will need some help, though, and arranging it won't be easy.

"You know that Alice saw you do it, right?"

"Yes." She scowls, as I expected. "I know. You still have to come up with your answer." She looks smug now. I let it go. I think of our first night truly together and another shrill beeping erupts from the machines next to my bed. When Lynn asks me what's wrong I just blush and pull her closer so I can kiss her.

"I can sense you're on your way to a full recovery, Brandon, and it fills me with joy, but for now please rest. You are still weak. I won't leave you, you know that." I do. She doesn't even need to go to the washroom and no nurse in the world will be able to get rid of her. "I still enjoy watching you sleep."

"Okay." I concede. I do feel tired. Lynn calls the nurse in, and she adjusts something with the IV drip. My thoughts immediately feel muddier. With the nurse gone I invite Lynn to come close, then closer. I kiss her lips and then whisper: "I need to tell you something."

My breath caresses her inner ear.

"Never bet against Alice." And then the void welcomes me back.

I end up spending an extra day in the hospital; the doctors want to keep me under observation one more night. I talk to Lynn about many light topics, my parents make a brief appearance, and Angela and Eric bring me some food and chat with us for a while, bringing us up to date with current school work and the latest gossip about Mike possibly breaking up with Jessica. I'm pleasantly surprised when Alice, Jasper, and Valerian suddenly step across the threshold of my room. Lynn frowns when she sees them.

"What's wrong?" I ask her. She looks befuddled, and really upset.

"I can't read their minds….. Am I losing my ability?" Her eyes are wider than I've ever seen them. "What is happening to me?"

The others laugh. I just look at them and then back at Lynn, unsure of what's going on.

"No, don't worry, sister. It's my fault. I learned how to shield a person's mind from prying eyes, or other offensive skills, thanks to your boyfriend…. It's a rather useful talent. Now we can have some privacy when we are around you." Valerian says airily.

"I see…" Her mouth puckers in distaste. The others chuckle again. "I suppose it's only fair. I've invaded your thoughts for so many years… But I think he's much more than a 'boyfriend'." While Valerian tells her not to quibble, Alice ignores her and comes closer to me. Jasper is by her side, grinning.

"Valerian and I saw what you have planned for when you get released, in a possible future. We have good news, Brandon. He can do what you'd like him to."

I look at him. He nods.

"I'd never thought of doing what you have in mind but I'm sure I can pull it off. I'll be happy to help. It's an intriguing concept…."

"Thank you, Valerian."

"No, thank you Brandon." Alice says cryptically. "It will be fun. I can't wait. I truly can't." She's so excited she is literally shivering. "I get goosebumps just thinking about it…."

"Alice is right. I'm also looking forward to it. Besides, it's the least I can do. It's like Lynn was literally reborn since she met you. Thank you for making her so happy. And thank you for making the hardest choice and going through with it, despite the risks involved. Because of you two, many lives were spared." Valerian adds for good measure.

I feel a little weepy, but Lynn is frowning again.

"Unbelievable. Now you all conspire to keep secrets from me." She taps her foot on the floor, fuming. I imagine a line of smoke spewing out of her ears and crawling up toward the ceiling.

"A surprise will be more fun, dear sister." Valerian winks at her shamelessly.

"The last few months have been rather eventful already, Alice. I miss my old life's predictability…" Lynn says with a funny pout.

"No, you don't." Alice shoots back. Lynn squeezes my hand and her voice becomes tender.

"No, I don't." She laughs. Alice got her.

"Brandon," Lynn's eyes are intense again as they search my own. "Can you ever forgive me, my love?"

"What for?" I ask, suddenly anxious.

"For that stupid plan of mine. Lying to you about my feelings and leaving you to keep you safe. Alice and Valerian showed me how much that could have hurt both of us, and, in other ways, so did you. I cannot believe that's what I was thinking…."

"Forget it, Lynn. You didn't go through with it, that's all I care about."

"There is something else…." Lynn looks dubious now. Alice takes over.

"We told you about the Volturi, right?"

"The vampires that rule your world?"

"Yes. Her plan to leave you would have led to worse consequences, but we are not out of the woods yet. You are a human, and yet you know everything about us now. They probably won't find out about you, but if they do they won't be happy."

"One more reason for all of us to have a talk. They'll release me tomorrow." I wink at Alice.

"We'll be waiting for you and Lynn at the house. We'll let Carlisle know you'd like to talk to the whole family." Alice promises me with a complicit grin. Lynn shakes her head again but her smile persists.

"Okay, have it your way and keep your secrets. We all know what Brandon wants."

Alice pretends to be shocked but she doesn't say a word. She just swaggers past Lynn as they leave.