The Bank II
"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it." - Jean de La Fontaine
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters contained therein, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto who is kind enough to let fans write fiction. I make no profit from this nor do I intend to.
A/N: Unbeta'd. I will attempt to post every other week, sooner if my work schedule permits.
Enjoy.
Chapter IV
Kakashi felt himself slowly regaining consciousness. He was still tired and didn't particularly want to wake up – he didn't have anything to do while awake anyway. A part of him just wanted to remain as he was, Kakashi knew from experience that if he made no effort to return to wakefulness, then he would likely fall back asleep.
After a moment of unsuccessfully trying to return to the Land of Nod, he noticed something out of place. Something was subtly wrong though he couldn't quite put a finger on it. After another moment's foggy thought he realized what it was. In an instant, he opened his eyes to confirm his conclusion and smiled faintly to find that he was indeed correct.
Sakura sat half curled, half slumped in a chair next to his hospital bed, obviously deep asleep with her head cradled in one of her arms against the side of the chair. He was particularly amused to note, now that he had a better view of the chair, that Sakura had managed to find a far more comfortable seat than would normally be stationed in his room. Kakashi had to wonder if she had taken it from a nurses' lounge or some other more comfortable portion of the hospital. There was no way she would have fallen asleep in any of the usual standard-issue hospital chairs, regardless of how tired she may have been.
Feeling strangely at peace, he continued to watch Sakura as she slept. Kakashi could see that she hadn't been sleeping very well – even while at rest he could easily make out the dark circles under her eyes. He could also see that she'd lost some weight, she hadn't been eating well either. He suppressed a sigh. He wasn't certain he could wave those two things away as possibly not his fault.
When she worried she buried herself in her work, often forgetting to eat and occasionally forgetting to sleep. Or, expending so much time pondering her concerns that she was unable to sleep or stomach the thought of eating. Clearly, she had been worrying – was likely still worrying as she had fallen asleep in his room, watching over him as he slept. He felt a pain not associated with any of his injuries and did his best to push it aside.
A few moments later, he started to feel the sedatives in his system again. It was, as he'd thought, too soon for him to be expected to be awake. He found himself on the fence, uncertain if he wanted to fight the sedatives or to allow them to take him. Strangely, he found that simply knowing that Sakura was there watching over him was oddly comforting. And, clearly, she didn't want to face him just yet. He knew she would come to him when she was ready. And, because she obviously hadn't meant to fall asleep, he could only assume that she wasn't ready.
Decision reluctantly made, he resolved to close his eyes and allow himself to fall back asleep… in another five minutes. A very small part of him feared that if he did close his eyes, he would somehow lose her, never see her again – that she might continue to avoid him permanently. Irritated with himself, Kakashi shook his head slightly to try and clear the unhappy thought.
Kakashi's small movement caused his pillow to rustle slightly, which, in turn, woke the woman who had been sleeping so peacefully.
Instantly, Sakura found herself on alert, opening her eyes to assess the situation. The uncomfortable stiffness and soreness she felt in her body informed her that she had not fallen asleep in her own bed as she had intended.
Sakura was surprised at not only finding herself in Kakashi's room but that he was also awake, regarding her curiously and with what she was certain was faint amusement.
"Sleeping Beauty awakes," he managed to rasp, his voice rusty with disuse. It had been some time since someone had stopped to chat with him socially and most of that had been spent in awkward silence.
Feeling all the color drain from her face, she sat up straight, her hands going to her hair in a vain attempt to pat it into some sort of semblance of order.
Kakashi chuckled, it came out in a sort of wheezy gasp and quickly morphed into a cough. Weakly, he reached out toward one of his bedside tables, where the nurse had left a covered cup of water with a convenient straw, his other hand automatically lowering his mask in preparation for the water.
Medic training taking over, Sakura rose to her feet, retrieved the water, and held it for Kakashi until she was certain that he could hold it for himself.
With more than a little relief, he sipped the water. Once his thirst was slaked and his cough ceased he reached out to try and replace the water.
Still at attention, Sakura gently took the water from him and returned it to his bedside table. Once that was accomplished, she stood awkwardly next to his bedside for a moment. At a loss. She still didn't feel as though she'd gotten herself together enough to face him. As the moment stretched on she found herself needing to make an exit. Without looking at him, unable to bear his sure to be pained expression, she turned to leave, without a word to him.
"Sakura," Kakashi called out faintly as she turned to leave. Weakly he managed to grab hold of one of her hands, though his grasp was not strong enough to keep her should she decide to continue on and make her exit.
Surprised, Sakura paused for a moment with her back still to him. She glanced down, trying to gather herself, inhaled and exhaled before slowly turning to look at her old friend. Instead of saying anything, she glanced down at his hand, still on hers before slowly raising her gaze to look at him.
Kakashi had to focus all of his attention on keeping his hand on hers and to prevent himself from flinching away from her expression. For a moment her expression was exactly as he'd remembered it as he passed out in the emergency room.
Sakura closed her eyes and focused on calming her emotions, smoothing out the expression on her face to a pleasant mask of disinterest. Long disused kunoichi skills coming to the fore, at last, concealing her true emotions. "Yes?"
He tried again. "Sakura… I…" he stumbled and stopped. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he'd done wrong.
She sighed, guessing that he was, as Tsunade had assured her, an idiot. He had no idea why she was so upset with him. And, he would never guess on his own. She would have to tell him if she ever wanted to have any hopes of moving past it.
Unable to prevent it, her voice dropped low, red hot anger rising quickly to mask the anguish – far easier to lash out at him than give in to the tears that threatened at the memory of his terrible apology. "Never say something so stupid again."
"What-?"
Anger sustaining her, she elaborated. "Kakashi, I don't know what, if anything, is going on in that brain of yours, but I want you to come back from your missions. I want you to come home alive – no matter what. Nothing, not a damn thing, will change that. Nothing will ever change that."
Sakura eyed him, watching closely to see his reaction, hoping he'd say something, anything to make it better. The ferocity was no longer as easy to maintain as it had been when she was younger – she needed this confrontation to be over, for the whole awful incident to be resolved.
Baffled he lay still in his hospital bed. Kakashi didn't understand before and what she had said had served only to make things even less clear.
After an awkwardly long silence inspiration finally hit him. "Sakura... haven't you seen my file?"
"What?" she asked, her fury subsiding somewhat as she hoped he would offer some sort of reason or explanation for his dreadful words.
"My file? Have you... seen it?"
She tilted her head to the side in askance, the last of her rage draining out of her at his seeming non sequitur. "Of course I have, I check it each day when I stop by to see how you're doing. You're incredibly lucky to be alive. Especially considering your past medical history."
He continued to gaze at her in puzzlement for a moment, wondering why his medical history would have anything to do with it, before realizing that they were speaking at cross-purposes. "No… not that… file."
"What other file is there..." she trailed off, suddenly suspecting she knew.
"My other file." He swallowed before continuing, his hand tightening on hers briefly. "My bank file."
Unable to verbally respond she shook her head, her anger now replaced with a mixture of anticipation and dread
"What?"
Sakura shook her head again. "I thought that if you wanted me to know, you'd tell me." She raised an eyebrow and her expression morphed into one of expectation – now he could finally tell her.
"You didn't look?" he asked, incredulous. He was positive that Tsunade would have given Sakura the file once he completed his paperwork.
"No. Tsunade offered but… it seemed like an invasion of privacy. I thought that if you hadn't told me yourself, then you didn't want me to know."
"Sakura, you already have full reign over my life – you're my medical contact, have power of attorney and control of pretty much the rest of my life whenever necessary…"
She averted her eyes and shook her head.
"Sakura, I want you to know."
She returned her gaze to his, her gaze shifting slightly to one of pleading without her notice. "Then tell me."
He shook his head. His strength fading, his hand starting to slip from hers, the effort of holding his arm out and up starting to exhaust him.
"Kakashi, if you want me to know, you're going to have to tell me," she prompted, her voice shaking slightly.
"I want you to see for yourself."
She shook her head a little. "I can't."
"But, I want you to."
Sakura shook her head again.
"You have my blessing. I want you to see the contents of that file."
"Kakashi, I can't."
He narrowed his eyes in suspicion as he realized her word choice might indicate something other than what he had originally thought. "Can't or won't?"
"Can't."
"What do you mean, 'can't'?"
"I don't have access to your file."
"What? I thought you had access to all my files – you are my medic, after all."
"There is no reason for me to have access to bank paperwork. So, I don't." She shrugged.
Kakashi had to exert a little extra effort to maintain his grasp on her hand.
"I'm pretty sure that's why Tsunade wanted to offer me the chance to see before it was officially filed away – beyond my reach."
"But, can't you just ask someone to get it for you?"
"No."
"No?"
"They wouldn't let me. Aside from not having the right clearances to see bank paperwork in the first place, I wouldn't be allowed to see yours."
"Why not?"
"Conflict of interest."
"Conflict of…" he trailed off as he realized why they might not let Sakura see his paperwork. "Seriously?"
Sakura shrugged again, though only using the shoulder not associated with the hand he was desperately trying to cling to. "It's for your own protection."
She paused in thought for a moment, wondering how much of it she would need to explain to him. "I suppose mine too if things were to go my way. That way no one could say that I twiddled with the paperwork behind your back to make it come out in my favor. After all, you wouldn't be here to contradict anything that may come out when your file was opened. I could conceivably do any number of things to your paperwork without you ever knowing."
He knit his brows in confusion. "Would anyone actually make that claim?" he asked with clear incredulity.
She shot him a speculative glance. "Possibly, there are more than a few women who have pinned all their hopes on you, you know."
"What?!" His mouth fell open in surprise.
"You're from one of the old clans, very highly respected, incredibly good at your job, and the village would likely offer incentives for multiple births in order to ensure the revival of the Hatake line. You're the perfect mark for any number of women who just want to be mothers on the village's dime – without the inconvenience of having a man about. And, they would also have the added bonus of the status being that being the mother of your children would grant them. Your avoidance of relationships and children is nearly as legendary as your self-control. No woman having your children after your death would be looked down upon for her choices. Everyone pretty much knows that's the only way the Hatake line will continue on." She snorted. "Some of them are probably counting on that to add to their own sense of self-importance – they'll enjoy all the sympathy and attention it brings them, I'm sure."
He shook his head in disbelief, wishing he could blame what Sakura had said on the drugs in his system but knowing that she spoke the truth. It had never even occurred to him that there might be women who set out to become mothers via the bank and whatever options the program might offer them – not out of some sense of duty or because they cared for the man in question but because they just wanted to be mothers without having to deal with a father.
Sakura wasn't wrong that he came from an old family and whoever had his children after he died probably would end up with a certain amount of cachet even if he didn't grant them the right to become an official part of the clan. Their children would, however, which would reflect just as much on the mother even if she was not entered as a part of the official clan. Hell, his kids could change that once they were old enough if they were so inclined.
She chuckled a little mirthlessly. "Not to worry, Kakashi, not everyone on your list has that goal in mind. But there are enough on there who do, that it would be best for me not to see your paperwork unsupervised – regardless of what it may contain."
He stared at her, his mouth still hanging open in surprise.
Just as he was gathering himself to respond, they were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door before it opened, without waiting for a response from within.
"Good morning Mr.-" Atsushi stopped in his tracks. "Oh! Ms. Haruno, I didn't know you were still here!" His gaze lingered on Kakashi's outstretched hand, clinging to Sakura's.
Gently, Sakura gave Kakashi's hand a brief squeeze before shaking her hand slightly to get Kakashi to let go. "That's alright Atsushi, I'm just on my way out."
Before Kakashi could respond, she waved at him, nodded at Atsushi, and took her leave.
Sakura found herself focusing intently on the file in front of her. She'd had a tricky run in the maternity ward and was only just now resuming some of her usual duties while still trying to help out in maternity. The paperwork had just piled up while she concentrated on her temporary maternity ward duties.
With all the weird cases and responsibilities Tsunade had had her filling in on, and shadowing in areas where she lacked extensive experience, Sakura had to wonder, not for the first time, if Tsunade was subtly training her to follow in her footsteps and eventually take over the hospital. From what Sakura had seen, Shizune seemed uninterested in taking over when Tsunade decided to retire. Her devotion to the current Hokage was too great to allow her to ever leave Tsunade's side.
With a sigh of resignation, she placed the file in her, 'to check while doing rounds' pile, feeling as though that pile was growing far faster than the 'routine' procedures pile. If things kept on at this rate, she would be there all night.
A knock on her door interrupted her hand's path to the next folder in the pile. Before she could call out in response to the knock, the door opened and Kakashi wobbled in rather unsteadily.
"Kakashi!" she cried, automatically rising to her feet and hurrying to help him to his usual seat. One of the few surfaces in the office aside from her own chair that did not contain a stack of files, a sheaf of papers, or a pile of scrolls. Kakashi's chair was pulled out, away from Sakura's desk so that when occupied, he could have a clear view of both Sakura and her door without obstructing Sakura's view of said door. Even while he was out of the village – not expected to return – she had been unable to put anything in his chair. And, as a matter of course, she had frowned at anyone foolish enough to try and sit there until they moved on their own accord. It was, for all intents and purposes, Kakashi's chair.
Gratefully, he accepted her help. Sakura's office was further from his hospital room than he had realized and if he hadn't arrived when he had, he would have been in some serious trouble. With a bit of irritation, Kakashi realized that he probably should have taken that wheelchair they had left in his room to make things easier for when he needed to be moved or taken outside for some fresh air. Granted, they hadn't expected him to get up and go wandering on his own. He wasn't cleared for any sort of unsupervised movement quite yet. But, that sort of thing had never stopped him in the past and definitely wasn't going to now.
"Kakashi!" she cried again to get his attention. "What are you doing here?" Sakura eyed him again, he was still wearing his standard-issue johnny with a shuriken print robe over it and a pair of orange fluffy slippers she was certain belonged to one of the male nurses. Clearly, someone had seen fit to give him something warmer to wear in the notoriously chilly hospital. A thought hit her as she placed a finger on what seemed wrong or out of place. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Shouldn't you have an IV?"
He chuckled and dug around in the robe pocket for a moment, looking for one of his little orange companions. "They took it out earlier this morning." He snorted softly. "Don't think they realized that I wouldn't stay put without it."
Sakura opened her mouth to issue a sharp retort but found that she simply couldn't. Anyone with a brain would know where Kakashi had gone. Someone would possibly be along once it was noticed that he was missing. Though, honestly, she was fairly certain that they would be glad to have him out of their hair if even for only a little while. So it would be unlikely for anyone to come looking for Kakashi unless they actually needed him for something.
Kakashi froze, realizing that she might not actually welcome his presence as she had in the past. He had found himself making a break for it and heading directly to her office out of sheer force of habit. Painfully, it occurred to him that just because Sakura had started to occasionally stop by in the evenings as he was falling asleep, it did not mean that she was okay with his presence in her office. Undoubtedly, things were still strained between them and he was uncertain how to go about fixing them. Unable to prevent it, he could not spend another minute alone in that hospital room, his expression turned to one of pleading.
Sakura caught the slight shift in Kakashi's expression and sighed, she had already said her piece. He would have to work it out on his own in order for things to go back to how they were. Or, as close to how they were as possible given the circumstances. Until then, she couldn't quite bring herself to send him back to his room. Never mind the fact that in the state Kakashi was currently in, he wouldn't be up for the return trip any time in the near future anyway.
"Fine. You can stay for the next hour or so – until I have to do my rounds – unless someone comes looking for you."
He nodded and exhaled a long breath he had not been aware that he was holding.
"Good. I'll help you back to your room when I start my rounds."
Kakashi stifled a sigh of his own, he was tired of his room and had hoped to find sanctuary in Sakura's office for longer than an hour. But, given the circumstances, he was well aware that he should count himself lucky to get even just the hour.
She eyed him for a moment, making sure that he would cooperate before returning her attention to the files in front of her.
Not too much later another knock on Sakura's door disturbed the silence that had previously only been disturbed by the sounds of paper occasionally rustling as they each continued with their own reading material.
Surprised, Sakura glanced up from her papers. Despite what she said to Kakashi, she didn't really expect anyone to come looking for him. If he was noticed to be missing, people would know where he was and leave him alone. As long as she was with him, he was in no actual danger of doing himself any harm so there was no reason for anyone to be concerned that he had left his room for her office.
"Come in," Sakura called, genuinely curious as to who it could be.
Unable to contain his own curiosity, Kakashi shifted his position and his book enough to allow him a clear view of Sakura's door without appearing to do so.
The door opened and an average man with brown hair, eyes, and glasses walked in, starting to speak before he was even through the door. "Ms. Haruno, I didn't see you in the caf for your regular coffee break, so I thought I'd-" he stopped mid-sentence upon noticing that Kakashi was in the office with Sakura.
"Mr. Hatake?! What are you doing here? You should be in your room, resting!" Itsuki made an aborted start toward Kakashi, words forming on his lips that were better left unsaid. He stopped abruptly, however, upon noticing the awesome frown beneath the man in question's mask. Absently he shifted a wad of gum from one cheek to the other as he stifled any further unfortunate outbursts.
Irritated and uncertain why Kakashi settled on staring silently at the intruding man, frown in place under his mask. The man was one of the many that Kakashi had observed circling Sakura like vultures, looking for opportunities to insert themselves into her love life. In the past, he'd never particularly cared – it was none of his business.
Since filing his paperwork, however, Kakashi had found that his attitude toward Sakura had irrationally shifted. Kakashi knew it wasn't warranted, but since the business of processing his bank paperwork, he'd started thinking of Sakura as his. A dangerous habit he had made no attempt to break considering the fact that he didn't think he would be returning from his last mission. And, as he had had no intention of surviving, he had thought that allowing himself that little concession, enabling himself to have a small shred of a dream that he'd never dared to have before, would be acceptable – a brief tiny piece of happiness before gaining his place on the Memorial. Now that he had, in fact, returned, he knew that he would have to make the effort to break the admittedly troubling habit.
Sensing that the two men were about to have a stupid male interaction, Sakura hurriedly stepped into the conversation.
"It's fine, I'm keeping an eye on him while he's here. I'm sure if anyone needs him they'll know where to find him."
Uncertain if he should accept Sakura's assurances, Itsuki shifted himself awkwardly on his feet, nervously chewing his gum as he tried to think. His flimsy excuse for seeing Sakura suddenly shredded he realized he had no real reason to be there in Sakura's office. And, any other reason he may come up with, would not go over well with her old friend in the room.
"Well then… I guess I can see why you might have missed your break." Itsuki raised his hand to the back of his neck. "I'll… I'll just come by after you have returned," he gestured at Kakashi, "him to his proper place."
Sakura nodded absently, already returning her attention to the file in front of her. The last thing she wanted to do was to encourage Itsuki. Never mind in front of Kakashi – it somehow felt even more awkward with him in the room. For some reason, Sakura didn't want Kakashi to see that she had other options. Granted, she wasn't interested in any of those options, but for some reason, she felt that it was still some sort of bad etiquette. Sakura didn't want to give Kakashi the impression that once he was gone, she would take up with some other man to raise either his or someone else's child. That wasn't even a consideration. Hopefully, Itsuki would take the hint and just leave before things were made even more awkward.
"Sure, sure. I'll see you later then," Sakura responded, absently.
Surprised that she'd agreed to have him stop by later Itsuki smiled, unable to keep the expression from turning into a smirk when he glanced at Kakashi, especially when he realized that she'd left it open for him to ask her to dinner.
"Until later, Ms. Haruno." Itsuki backed up a bit before turning to exit the office, ignoring the suddenly malevolently glaring shinobi, a few gum wrappers fluttering to the ground behind him.
Sakura glanced back up in time to follow the wrappers with her eyes as the fluttered to the floor and sighed, ignoring the fact that Kakashi had also clearly taken notice of Itsuki's inadvertent littering.
"He's been trying to quit smoking," she explained unnecessarily.
"So he chews gum?"
"Yes, a lot of it. Sometimes nicotine, sometimes just regular chewing gum. Usually, he has a better handle on the wrappers though."
"He's a medic though?"
"Yes."
"But, he's a smoker?"
She shrugged. Not all medics led healthy lives. "He is trying to quit."
Kakashi eyed her from the corner of his eye. "I wonder why?"
Sakura felt her cheeks heat. She'd been very vocal over the years about smoking being a deal-breaker for her. Kakashi would know better than most considering that she'd had more than one relationship fall apart because of it.
"I hope he's doing it for himself. There isn't any other reason for him to try to quit."
"So," Kakashi couldn't help but comment, changing the subject a little, "hot date tonight then?"
Startled, Sakura glanced up at him, having already lost herself in the file - even before Itsuki had left. "What?"
"Mr. You Missed Your Usual Coffee Break."
"Itsuki?"
"That his name?"
She nodded. "Itsuki Watanabe. What about him?"
"He thinks he's going to take you out to dinner tonight."
She wrinkled her brow in confusion. "What?"
"You left it wide open for him to take you to dinner when he returns."
"Oh," Sakura paused and re-ran the conversation through her mind, she'd been too preoccupied to consider her words as carefully as she should have. "Shit."
Surprised, Kakashi chuckled. "Not your intention?"
Sakura sighed. "No, not at all. I've been trying not to encourage him for…" she trailed off realizing who she was speaking to and her similar situation with him. Feeling her cheeks heat faintly she shook her head to try and shake it off. "Anyway, that was not my intention."
Thinking quickly, Kakashi offered up a slight solution. "You can always tell him you have previous plans."
Sakura raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Such as?"
"You promised your favorite long-term patient you'd get him food from his preferred non-hospital associated restaurant?"
She stared at him for a long moment before laughing.
He shrugged. "It's a valid excuse, you know."
Still chuckling she nodded. "I'm sure it is." Sakura eyed him speculatively for a minute, if she didn't know any better he was sort of asking her out – if only to foil Itsuki. Still, it was incredibly like him to do something in such a way that still left her with the tab. "So, what do you want in your ramen?"
"Ramen?!" he asked with some dismay.
"Yes, ramen, your 'favorite' place only serves ramen." She stifled a laugh at the expression on his face. "Ayame will be disappointed not to see you this time in person since tonight's dinner will be Ichiraku's finest takeout!"