The walk home was slow and chilly. Kyōya didn't exactly want to get home fast, not after eating then having a good conversation with Erika's family. It was a completely different experience compared to his family. After dinner they all sat in the living room, chatting then the mood had changed when Erika's father asked him an awkward question. Erika had quickly changed it by suddenly deciding to open presents. At the time, Kyōya had smiled and thanked her in his mind for doing that because he hadn't wanted to answer that question. Now he frowned because it had hurt for her father to point that out to him. Are you not spending the holidays with your family?
No, he wasn't, at least not all his family and that was always a sore subject around him. But other than that, he had loved the fact that her family had let him in and made him feel included. What honestly had surprised him, even shook him, was that he had received two presents. At first, he had looked to Erika in confusion, but she had smiled while laughing then told him that it was normal, part of the economical way of doing Christmas. Again, he smiled to himself as he continued home, hunching his shoulders, snuggling his nose into the scarf that had the scent of Erika on it. Glad that he had made the trip to her house and honored the fact that she had asked for him to spend it with her.
As he got to his building, he couldn't help the feeling of dread that washed over him as he looked up to his door. Tomorrow his sister would be home and for the next two days, it would just be the two of them. How was he going to weather her temper when right at this moment he could without a doubt say that he was tired? Tired of watching what he says, does, or even how he looks around her. If he did even the slightest slip she would be after him and at this moment he wouldn't have the fight in him to keep her away. He felt it to his soul that he was barely hanging on.
Kyōya's phone dinged, he pulled it out and opened the message. God damnit, his heart twisted, and unshed tears clouded his vision.
Thank you, Kyōya, for the present and for coming out tonight. I really am sorry about the other day. I just wasn't feeling good and it hurt to hear that. I hope you made it home and I hope to see you sometime soon..
. That small sliver of a wall he had around him to protect him against his sister was crumbling before him. Erika had unwittingly pulled at its foundation and now he was bare to the pain of being hurt. Erika would be the main source of the pain because now he had to protect her from his sister's knowledge of her. Because if Reika found out about Erika then Reika would have the power to completely crush him into nothing, something she had been trying to do for years with no luck.
His phone dinged again and all the heat in his body left him, instantly making his teeth chatter.
I'm home. Where the hell are you!?
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"Fuck!" he breathed as looked frantically up toward the door of his home. How had he missed the light being on through the window of the door? It should have told him that someone was home because he had made sure to turn off the lights before he left. Now he could see that even the outside light was off, which he had left that on. He twisted his body around, looking for a way out, trying to figure out just what aswas the hell to do. She must have known because suddenly he heard the door of their house being flung open and he froze. Shit!
He ducked behind a trash can, fear making his breaths come rapidly, which he had to quickly place his hands over his mouth to keep the puffs of breaths from being noticed. This wasn't good at all and if she caught him?... He would not survive, and he wasn't kidding. When he said that it wouldn't take much to push him over, he meant it. He felt like his life meant nothing and his sister reinforced that thought in him. And after that text he just got from Erika, giving him confirmation that he means something to someone, that someone is looking forward to seeing him, it made that fear in him skyrocket. Although, it was one of mixed fears. The biggest fear being that if Reika saw him like this, she would use it against him, twist what little hope he had, and he, unfortunately, would believe every fucking word that came out of her. Nothing would stop him from ending it here and now if she caught him.
His heart beat painfully against his ribs and his legs were shaking, everything in him was telling him to run and come back in the morning. Tell a lie when he came back but at least he would be prepared and have his guard up a little better than what it was right now. His fucking phone went off and pure terror washed through him as he stopped breathing.
"Kyōya?" Reika yelled.
He didn't think, he let instinct take over as his body started moving on its own. He bolted for the entrance to the courtyard and took off running down the road. He didn't have to look back to know that she had given chase because he could hear her cursing at him. He had no clue where he was going but the only thing he knew was, that he needed to lose her and fast. He cut to the left down a side street then went a block up before he did a sharp right. Shit, he needed to hide somewhere and wait for her to pass. He did one righter than a quick left, hoping that she wouldn't see him slide into a narrow pathway between two buildings.
He leaned against the building, trying to melt into the shadows so she wouldn't find him. He heard heavy breathing coming from the direction he just came from, he held his breath, then she jogged by, looking side to side. Crap, she knew he had to be hiding but thankfully she just kept going by where he had hidden. When he couldn't hear her feet, he finally let out the breath he had been holding in, his lungs screaming. He peeked out around the building and sighed; she was turning a corner just up the alleyway. Not giving her the chance to come back and spot him, he took off back the way he came and decided to head to Takeru's place. No way was he going home after running from her because he knew from experience that his home wasn't safe. Even if he locked his door to his room, she would find a way in and beat the shit out of him. Which that terrified him more because he wouldn't be able to sleep knowing she would wait for him to do just that, sleep.
He jogged to Takeru's and at one point about tripped when his phone went off again, thanking God that he had the mind to get out while he could before she used it again to find him. He knocked on the door, heard Takeru mumbling something to his parents, then the door was swung open. Takeru's eyes went wide when he saw him standing there. "Kyōya? Why're you here?" he asked.
Kyōya puffed out his breath, still trying to catch air. "Can I crash here tonight?"
Takeru's face twisted in concern. "What happened?" he breathed out as he quickly looked over his shoulder then stepped out onto the porch, giving them privacy.
Kyōya shivered as he glanced over his shoulder, feeling unsure that he hadn't been followed. "She's here Takeru and I ran."
"Shit, did she get a hold of you? Do we need to go to the hospital?" Takeru looked around, understanding now why Kyōya had used his codeword.
He shook his head, but he was too shaky to know if Takeru understood what he meant. "No," he answered. "I was outside, just getting back from seeing Erika when she texted. I hid, she called, then I panicked and ran. Damn it..." Kyōya couldn't stop his shaking now, his body coming down from its high on adrenaline for too long. He sat down on the stoop, his legs jelly.
"Hey, man, not to sound mean or anything but, why did you run?" Takeru asked, he sat down next to him.
Kyōya sighed as he let his head rest on top of his knees. "I'm tired Takeru. Erika has now become someone who could be the end of me." He heard the sharp intake of breath. That's right Takeru, I'm serious. "I wasn't expecting Reika to be here tonight and I hadn't had time to get my emotions in check."
Takeru was quiet for a bit before he finally spoke up. "I'm glad you finally admitted your feelings. Does Erika know?"
"No."
"Oh... well, then that brings me back to my question..."
"Damn it!" Kyōya exploded as he looked at Takeru, grabbing the front of his shirt. "Do I have to spell it out for you? I ran because if I had faced Reika tonight before getting my shit together then she would have found out and used that shit against me. That would have been the end of me Takeru. I'm tired and now I want to see Erika again. I want to be with her, but I fear losing her and all I can think about is how Reika is going to use her against me. How she's going to twist what little there is of me until there's nothing left." At some point, tears started falling down his face and his chest was tight, once again his panic taking hold.
Takeru pulled him into a hug. "Breathe," he whispered.
Kyōya didn't realize that he had started hyperventilating until he was now conscious of the fact that he couldn't catch his breath. He took deep breaths and let them out slowly, trying to bring his body back into order. Finally, he relaxed.
"You know, I had a vague idea that you weren't stable, but you always seemed in control, so I never pushed for an answer. The only thing I could do was be there for you. I hated how your sister treated you, but you never talked about it. I wanted to ask but knew that you wouldn't say anything, or you'd get mad at me for being nosey. I didn't know Kyōya, that it was that bad at home until after you broke your arm back in elementary school. You always hid your pain but now it's hard because there's another in your life that you care for and you don't want to ruin it. Am I at least a little right?" Takeru asked.
Kyōya sighed, slightly defeated. Yes, Takeru doesn't know the whole truth when it came to his sister but at least Kyōya could come to him if there was a problem. "You know it's scary how much you know," he spoke.
"Not the answer I was looking for but I'm glad that I can be that support you need."
"You sure about that? Especially with me just showing up late at night?"
Takeru laughed as he pushed Kyōya out at arm's length. "That doesn't bother me. What bother's me is how your sister treats you," he spoke frankly.
Kyōya knocked Takeru's hands away as he turned to face forward. He knew he needed to stand up to his sister but the sheer thought of doing so sent slivers of ice down his back. He had tried in the past only for it to end with his elbow and wrist dislocated and two nights of no sleep. Just shortly after that Takeru had accidentally pulled on his bad arm, which had caused Kyōya to lash out at him. Since then, Takeru made sure to keep his hands to himself and Kyōya used codewords to let him know how bad it was at home. "Can I still crash here tonight?" he asked.
Takeru growled in the back of his throat before he let out a long sigh. "Fine, but Kyōya you need to do something before it gets to be too dangerous."
Takeru didn't know the half of it and Kyōya was going to keep it that way. "Sure, I'll think about it."
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When Kyōya woke, he found himself curled up in a ball on the couch. The house was dark, still, and quiet, telling him that it had to be early morning. He grabbed his phone off the coffee table to check the time, he's suspicions confirmed when his phone read 3:56 a.m. Only about four hours of sleep which honestly surprised him, considering how much he was in and out. He sat up, a low groan leaving him, his back was sore. It was okay though. This pain was better than what could have happened if he had gone back home.
Kyōya checked his missed calls and shivered, twenty-three from his sister and there were six voicemails. Half the reason his e'she's sleep wasn't so sound, not when his phone it kept vibrating what seemed like every ten minutes. At one point just before Kyōya went to sleep, Takeru had looked at him with anger, "Just answer and tell her to leave you alone."
Kyōya had shaken his head. "That would only make it worse."
"And not answering it is better!?" Takeru had yelled.
"Yes," he whispered, putting his phone on silent. Then he had settled onto the couch and attempted to sleep.
Now, here he was four hours later, not sure of what he should do. Go home or wait it out a little longer? Was he ready to go? Could he keep himself together long enough? The better question was...what was his sister going to do once he got home? He stood, making his decision, he'd go home and hope that she had gone to bed so that he could at least get in the house without too much trouble. Once again, though, a feeling of unease stole over him at this thought. Telling him that if he went home, there was a high chance that he'd end up in the hospital.
Is it really that important for you to get home?
He growled, no, but at some point, he's going to have to go back, whether he likes liked it or not. Maybe he could wait until his dad made it back into town? But the last time he did that, Reika waited until their dad stepped out to go get something and without his knowledge of this, Reika had ambushed him. No matter what he thought about doing, Reika always seems to have the upper hand.
Then fight back...
He laughed, a phantom ache coming from his forearm, that's a foolish thing to do. He folded the blanket he had used last night, placing it back on the couch, and gathered his jacket. Kyōya quietly made his way out the door and headed home, although it was at a slow pace. When he stood in front of the building, looking up, last night's events rushed through his mind, making him take a step back. If only Reika hadn't had showed up last night, everything would have been fine. He wouldn't be in this dilemma, afraid if he was going to live through the holidays.
When Kyōya finally made it to his door, he could barely keep his hands from shaking while trying to unlock the door with his keys. He opened the door, holding his breath, waiting for Reika to step out and grab him. But none of that happened. All that greeted him was a dark house and a strong sense of foreboding washing over him. He let go of the breath he had kept and took a step into the house, closing the door behind him. Kyōya kept his back to the door while he reached behind him and locked the door, wanting to make sure that his sister didn't sneak up behind him. He took his jacket and shoes off and slowly made his way through the house.
The most unnerving thing he couldn't shake was feeling like he was being watched. He looked around, trying to see through the darkness but the feeling turned to one of being prey. Kyōya stopped, knowing that if he tried anything, he wouldn't make it to his room. The next thing he knew, he was flat on his back and something cold was pressed against his throat. Horror so strong seized him that he couldn't even think straight.
"You know," the darkness whispered in his ear, "I had only been angry that you weren't home, but, then, I was furious when your ass decided to run." The cold object pressed harder into his throat. "Now, I'm delighted that my brother has made it home, safe and sound. But," he felt the air turn frigid, "once I'm done with you. You won't be so safe and sound anymore."
Kyōya's last thoughts before everything went dark was that he hoped he never woke back up.
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Slowly the sound of something beeping in rhythm bled into his acknowledgment that he was still alive...maybe. He attempted to move his right hand something and immediately regretted that decision, his breath hitching in his chest. Kyōya cracked open an eye and groaned, shit. That horrible feeling he had before going home had come to pass, his ass had ended up in the hospital. He felt an object in his left hand, tried to look down but found his neck to be too stiff, so he steadily lifted his arm to see what it was. It was the remote they give you to use for either more pain killer or to call a nurse. He pressed the pain killer one and within seconds he felt the cool wash of it hitting his veins. Shortly after, he welcomed the darkness as his body went numb.
Some hazy time later, he woke to someone shaking him and it hurt. He barely opened his eyes to see who it was and saw it was a nurse. Kyōya groaned to let her know he was awake but that was after he found he couldn't use his mouth.
"Oh, Mr. Sata, you're awake," she beamed.
No, shit, he thought. Who wouldn't be if everything in you screamed pain and wanted your attention?
She looked at his monitors and wrote something down then turned back to him. "The doctor will be in shortly. You also have some visitors."
His heart monitor leaped in sound. Kyōya went looking for the remote with the only hand he could move. The nurse smiled, "You'll get that back after you visit with the doctor." He glanced at her, fear sucking what little heat he had in his extremities. "Promise," she said, holding the remote in her hand.
He tried once again to speak but it felt like his tongue was three times the size it should be and his throat sore. A knock sounded on the door and was quickly opened to reveal a female doctor walking in. She smiled at him as she took the offered clipboard from the nurse. "Hello, I'm Dr. Seung, how you are feeling?" she asked.
He rolled his eyes then glared at her. He pointed at the clipboard, held out his hand, waiting for her to hand it over to him. It took her a moment to figure out that he couldn't talk before she turned the sheet over and gave him the board. With a shaky left hand, he wrote out, "How bad is it?"
Dr. Seung frowned as she read his question. "Why would that concern you the most?"
He sighed as he started writing. "Just want to get out of here."
It was her turn to sigh. "Mr. Sata, unfortunately, you're not getting out of here for at least the next week or so. You have two bruised femurs, your right wrist is in a splint to help with the new hairline fracture, and your right shoulder had to be reset because it had been severely left leg is fractured in three places, your right in two. The right wrist had to be immobilized because it was broken in three places. Your left arm has some nerve damage and from the neck down to your chest is a nasty bruise. Plus, you have some cuts that we're watching closely because of the risk of infection." She pulled up a stool, sat, and placed a light hand on his shoulder. "I have to ask; have you been depressed? Suicidal?"
He would have given anything to have that damned remote at that moment because he didn't want to answer. Thankfully, the door opened, and in walked his dad and sister. Once again, his heart monitor reflected how he felt, uneasy as hell. The nurse, who had moved to stand to his right after handing over the board, slipped the remote into his hand. Gave him a smile when he looked at her startled. Before he could think anymoreany more about it, even though it killed him to move his hand, he double pressed the button and quickly felt the cold of the medicine.
"Kyōya? How you are doing?" his dad asked.
Kyōya looked to the doctor and she nodded, replying, "He can't talk right now due to the bruise on his throat, but he can write, although you'll have to give him a moment. It's slow due to the nerve damage in his left arm." She grabbed the board from him and placed a new sheet on it, giving it back.
He nodded his head in thanks and slowly wrote out, "Sorry, I know I need to watch going down the flights of stairs." The doctor read it out loud and looked at him with concern, hiding it from her voice.
"You scared me when I found you," Reika spoke up, sounding broken.
He gritted his teeth, wondering if he could tell the doctor that he needed help. But as soon as the thought came across his mind, it slipped away, causing him to frown. Why was it hard to hold the pen now? He glanced down. His hand wasn't moving but he was sure that he had then the numbness started to crawl up his body. The medicine was kicking in and he smiled as his head relaxed into the pillow. Someone said something but it came in muddled and he glanced around to see who. No one was moving their lips but the last thing he caught before he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore, Reika was grinning. Smug in her victory. Fuck, he thought as he slipped.
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It took nearly a week and a half before Kyōya could be released home. Even then, he had to wait another week before he could go back to school. Rehab and all. Reika had gone home back to Kobe after the holidays and his dad had to head back to work, after taking an extra week off to help with getting things ready at home. Now Kyōya he was home, laying in his bed, waiting for the hours to tick by before he went to his last rehab.
A memory came to him, one where the doctor had been next to his bed when he had come back around. She was regarding him with sadness until she noticed he was watching her. "Do you feel better?" she had asked.
Kyōya had thought for a moment before he replied, surprised that anything had come out. "Yeah," his voice had cracked. "Just wanting... to...go home," he had spoken lowly, finding it easier on his throat.
Doctor Seung's eyes had hardened. "I don't think you should go home. I feel that it's not safe."
He shook his head, glad that the stiffness had gone down after a week. "There's nowhere else for me to go anyway. Besides I'll be careful, don't want to fall again."
"Mr. Sata, I may not know you personally, but I know that's a lie. Not all of your injures were from you falling downstairs. The two I can quickly point out are your right wrist and the worst part of the bruise across your throat. Tell me what actually happened," she had pointedly said.
Kyōya had once again shaken his head. "I can't. Most likely you won't see me after this. Not that I wouldn't like to come back but you're not the first last doctor to have said that to me. Thank you for all you have done."
After that, she had tried several times to ask what or who had done this to him but every time, he had told her not to worry about it. And it was the truth, she couldn't do anything to help him because it would only make things worse for him in the future. If his sister caught wind, then she would change her attacksmake sure to keep it from the physical and go more for the mental. And that wasn't something he wanted back in his life. He'd rather it be tthat,that, the physical thaenthen having her fuck with his head, which was already a mess.
The other thing that had caught him off guard was when he was able to have his phone back. After it had been charged back up, he discovered that Erika had called several times. What scared him was that two of the calls were in the time between when he had gotten home and when his dad had shown up. Those two days were hazy in his memory, but it wasn't until after that things got too fuzzy to remember. He had tried to remember but every time it ended with him in a cold sweat and the feeling that it was probably for the best he didn't remember.
He had thought about texting Erika back, but he felt that if he did that then it would open the door for her to ask about coming over. He didn't want her anywhere near him now because he knew that it wouldn't take much for him to go off on her. It's the one thing he knew that had stuck with him through the pain of when his sister finally got ahold of him. Kyōya didn't want Erika hugging upon him or asking a bunch of questions. No, he wanted to take the time to get his thoughts in order and be ready for the start of the new school semester.
Although, way deep inside he wanted her. He wanted that contact because it held concern and love. Kyōya craved that attention to know that he was important in someone's life.
After what just happened, you sure you want any woman to be near you? hisHis devil snide at him.
He shivered, no he didn't but Erika was the exception to that rule. She never touched him with ill-will.
That can easily change, pretty boy. She has no reason to stick with you. Especially with how you have treated her lately.
He stood from the couch as he growled, then she never loved me. If she can weather my temper, then she has every right to say that I am hers.
Everything stilled in him, even his devil shrank away. Did he just hear himself correctly? Had he accepted her as his without him fully knowing about it?
Yeah, you did. A small voice whispered in his mind. He smiled, not feeling scared that he was making the wrong proclamation about his relationship with Erika. Now he just needed to keep things under wraps until he could heal from this latest disaster with his sister and make things more solid with Erika. So, when the time came, he could face his sister without fearing that everyone wouldillwill leave him and that he would be left with nothing. To ensure that he could be loved and not hurt by the one person he holds dear to his heart, who is his heart, Erika.