While Sonic's new lovers were distracted trying to decide on the rules of rock paper scissors, she was looking around for a possible escape. Searching, she noticed a clothing store across the street.
"A clothing store, perfect. None of those three wear any clothes, and neither did I until today, so there's no reason for them to check here"

Sonic crossed the street and entered the store. After the door closed behind her, Sonic looked up and came face to face with Shadow. They stared at each other in shocked silence until Amy yelled out for "Sonic."
"Sonic, come here! I found this beautiful brown scarf that I think would accent your character wonderfully."

"That blue hedgehogette again, of all places. You better watch out or we'll both be paying for your mistake. At least you put some clothes on, that had me worried"

"I can't help it!" hissed Sonic. "Knuckles, Vector, and Silver all keep pestering me. They can't comprehend that I don't want to date them, and I'm afraid they'll find out who I actually am"

"Well you better figure it out. Any luck with finding the doctor?"

"Attempting to ask for Eggman's location is what got me in this mess to start with"

"I don't see how this is a problem, are those three really that primitive?"

Amy appeared from behind Shadow to get his attention.
"I was wondering why you wouldn't come over to try on this scarf I came across, so I decided to get you myself. And what do I find? I find you talking to some harlot! I'm just dying to hear your explanation for this one. And on our date too! You couldn't have at least waited until later?"

Shadow began backing away from Amy, "Um, I can explain...she's my cousin um…"

He whispered to Sonic, "Do you have any ideas"

Sonic quietly replied "uhh..Sonya"

"She's my cousin Sonya"

"Well Sonya, if that is your real name, how come you're speaking to my date like that?"

"Well, I was asking him for help about uhh...trying to find Dr. Eggman's lair"

Amy paused and thought for a moment.

"And if you learn where his lair is, you'll leave me and my boyfriend alone?"

"Yep, it's that simple"
"Oh, I see what's going on here. You two planned a secret tryst right under my nose, and you set it up at Eggman's lair so I wouldn't find out"

Sonic tried to explain "That's not even close to the truth!"

"Uh huh, that's exactly what someone trying to steal my future husband would say"

Shadow asked "What would someone trying to steal me not say?"
"I don't know, but it definitely wouldn't be an admission of guilt in attempting to hijack our relationship"

Sonic suggested "What if you came with us to find Eggman's lair?"
"I can't believe you would even suggest that, in public no less! I refuse to participate in any threesomes between Sonic and some stranger!"

"I meant to see for yourself that nothing bad is happening" clarified Sonic

"This still sounds terrible, but I'll do it. Just know, I have my eyes on you, and my hammer is ready"

"You're not the only one with eyes on me. Anyway, so you'll help me?"

Shadow perked up, "So I don't have to try on any more clothes?"

"Sonya, I think you need something better than that filthy schoolgirl uniform. Sonic, you can help me look for clothes for your so-called 'cousin'"

"I guess it beats trying them on"

"I didn't say I was going to stop you from trying them on"

Sonic placed his hands on his hips and asked "Don't I get a say in what to wear?"
Amy dismissed Sonic's request, stating "I've already seen what happens when you decide what to wear. I'll be handling it from here"

"Well, if it'll get me closer to Eggman…"

Amy and Sonic had a clothing montage, trying on everything from a muumuu to an even more revealing schoolgirl outfit, chosen by Sonic. Finally, they settled on a white blouse and dark gray skirt with a pair of matte black heels.

Shadow carefully posed the question of "Can we leave now?" citing that "I didn't even know some of those clothing pieces existed before that montage."

"Well, now that Sonya is dressed in a respectable outfit, I think we can set out for Eggman."

Sonic eased up, "Finally, I've been getting nowhere all day. I just hope I don't run into those three again."

Now that Sonic was fully clothed and ready for travel, the trio left the store and headed towards the sidewalk.

"Sonya, I don't want you getting too close to my man, so I'll be walking in between you two"

"That's fine by me as long as we get to Eggman's lair"
"Why do you want to go to Eggman's lair in the first place?" asked Amy "I can't imagine why you'd be going there unless you were working with him"
"Well, you see, there was this problem with…."
Sonic was interrupted by a voice calling out from the alley beside her. Sonic turned to see Vector laying on a soiled mattress surrounded by broken bottles, cardboard boxes, and tin cans. The multi-colored stains embedded in the mattress created a repugnant mosaic of dried fluids, surely one more stain wouldn't matter.
Vector let loose his siren call, "Yooooohooooo, Sonyaaaa. Why don't you come to bed with me? I picked it out especially for you, it was the nicest I could find"
Vector seductively ran his hand along the mattress to entice Sonic to join him. After taking his hand off the mattress, the palm of Vector's glove had turned a greenish-gray from the short distance his hand had traveled along the mattress. Sonic quickly turned away from Vector and continued walking. Vector glared and pounded his fist against the mattress in frustration, causing a spring to puncture the mattress' surface.
"So as I was saying," continued Amy "Eggman's lair is only a few blocks from here. We'll be there in no time"

"That's a relief, I'm so tired of walking in these heels"

After walking for a few minutes, Sonic heard a familiar voice call out. Reluctantly turning, she found Vector laying on nothing but used cardboard boxes.

"Oh Sonyaaaa, these boxes have space for two, care to join me?"

No more enticed than last time, Sonic quickly moved on from the scene and continued walking for a short time, until the gravelly voice had called out for a third time. This time, Vector was laying on the concrete ground, among the filth and debris in the alley.

"If I didn't want to be with you on a mattress, what makes you think I'd want to be with you on the concrete?"

"Can't blame a croc' for trying! I would've set up in the swamp, but this city lacks any worthwhile wetlands"

"I wouldn't have wanted to be with you if it was in a swamp either."
Vector was shocked, "Sheesh, talk about picky dates!"

As Sonic moved on with the rest of the group. Silver walked behind Vector with a shoebox tucked against his side.
Silver patted Vector on the shoulder and told him "Better luck next time, she's all mine now."

Sonic asked Amy "How far are we from the lair?"

"I was a bit off earlier, so we made a wrong turn. I think it'll actually only be a few blocks away. I'm positive we're headed in the right direction now. Wait, this isn't right, I believe it's that way actually"

Shadow turned to say "Maybe if we had asked for directions we wouldn't have taken a wrong turn to start"

Sonic chimed in "Well that didn't work out for me when I tried it"
Amy ignored Sonic, "Oh Sonic, you just don't understand"
"Yes, that's why I brought it up"

A faint cyan streak of light rapidly flashed from behind the trio and stopped in front of them, revealing Silver standing ahead of the trio.
Silver apologized to Sonic, "Sonya, I know I haven't been the kindest to you, so I got you something as a gift."
"Oh, that's….actually nice of you"

"I know how much you girls like shoes, so I got you a pair"
Silver handed the shoebox over to Sonic, who opened it and took out a pair of stilettos.

"I appreciate the thought, but these heels are far too small for me"

"Seriously? They were the largest size I could find in the kids section."
"Have you even seen the size of my feet?"

"No, but if you're offering…."

"Nope!" said Sonic, handing back the shoebox.

Shadow spoke to the two hedgehogettes, "What's with that guy? I've never bought shoes for Amy, and she's the one who likes me."

Amy laughed and explained "That's because I only wear one style of shoes for my everyday outfit. Nicer shoes are reserved for special occasions."
"Then how come you're not wearing nicer shoes now? You're not saying you don't think this date is special, are you"
Shadow grinned, knowing he trapped Amy in her own words.
Sonic came to Amy's rescue, "Oh Sonic, you wouldn't understand. It's just something you figure out when you've been a girl all your life."
"But you…nevermind."

As soon as the trio continued walking again, Silver reappeared with a new box in hand.
"I might've gotten too small shoes last time, but I analyzed your footprint and made sure to get the right size this time. Here, you may even like these ones better"
Silver offered the box to Sonic, who took it and opened it up.
Noticing something wrong with the contents inside, Sonic replied "These are two different shoes."
"Of course they're different, having two left feet is just an expression"

Sonic pulled out a combat boot and a gladiator heel.
"I'm saying these are two different styles. They aren't even the same brand"

"What!" yelled Silver, taking the box back from Sonic "You can't blame me for that, I went by what the box said!"

The box was an ordinary cardboard box with a piece of tape reading "clearance" written in permanent marker.

"Maybe shoes aren't the right item for you to go shopping for. At least, not for people other than yourself."

An embarrassed Silver took the shoes back and ran off, leaving the trio to continue their journey.

"How come I never get any men falling head over heels in love with me?" lamented Amy
Shadow coughed at what Amy said, "This date was your idea, was it not?"

"Right, sorry!"

"You know who I think is really cool? That Shadow character, he's so gloomy and mysterious. It really lets him stand out from the herd of sheeple, don't you think?"

"Shadow? He might look just like you Sonic, but he doesn't have the charm. Who wants a mopey hedgehog who's completely indifferent about everything?"
Shadow gritted his teeth and muttered under his breath, "I'll show you indifferent…"

"Here we are, Eggman's lair" announced Amy
The building was a completely normal and unmarked building.
Sonic looked at the building and questioned Amy, "Are you sure this is the place? I mean, how can you tell?"
The top of the building featured a billboard advertising "Eggman Empire World Headquarters, apply within!" With a picture of Eggman dramatically posing on top of Sonic and his friends in a pile with Xs over their eyes.

"Call it a hunch"

Knuckles emerged from the entryway and stopped in front of Sonic.
"I knew I'd find you here, Sonya"

"How could you know that?"

"I saw Vector lying in a drainage ditch, so I asked him if he knew where you'd gone. He said you mentioned something about Eggman's lair"

"Normally I'd shoo you away, but you might come in handy this time."

"Anything you need, these fists are at your disposal!"

"I might have a use for your fists, but I'm hoping I don't need them"

"I hate to keep my fists out of action, but I'll do it for you, Sonya"

Sonic smiled, "Great. Here's my idea: Amy, I want you to stay out here and keep watch for any possible problems. Sonic and Knuckles, you come with me"

"That's a terrible idea!" protested Amy "I don't want you left alone with my Sonic!"
Knuckles reminded Amy "I'm right here you know."

"I guess if Knuckles is there...if this were Rouge, this would be a different story"
Knuckles shouted "That's a lie and you know it! I only care about protecting the master emerald…and winning over Sonya"
"hmph, fine, but I don't like it"

Sonic stated, "As long as we can get it done. Now let's go"