A/N: This fic was inspired by a conversation I had with Celtigal1041. I hope you enjoy my Christmas offering for this year.
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"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs…" ~~~~~ John McClane, Die Hard.
"If this is their idea of Christmas, I gotta be here for New Year's." ~~~~~ Argyle (limo driver), Die Hard.
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December 2012
"Mac, brother, I'm about to introduce you to my favorite Christmas movie, Die Hard."
"That's not a Christmas movie."
"What did you just say?!"
"I said—"
"Never mind, I heard what you said. I just can't believe that you'd say that!"
"Why not, Jack? Just because it…"
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December 2013
Bozer and Mac are watching Jack pace back and forth in front of the TV once again loudly declaring — make that ranting about — why he thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
"Admit it, Mac," Bozer quietly says. "You're just messing with him, aren't you? You don't actually care either way."
After a couple of moments, Mac smirks and says, "Yeah, I'm just messing with him."—Mac shrugs—"Though I can see both sides of the debate. Besides, it's a lot of fun to wind Jack up like this from time to time."
Bozer gestures towards Jack. "Man, you are definitely on Santa's naughty list this year."
Mac chuckles. "I know, and strangely I don't care." Tipping his head towards Jack, he grins before continuing, "This is almost better than the movie."
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December 2014
"Our what?"
"Our Die Hardgument, Mac. You know the one we have every year over whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie."
"So, you're saying, you want to pick a fight with me over a movie you've made me watch more times than I can count? And at least once in every month of the year?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying, brother. I still can't believe you don't think it's a Christmas movie."
"Like I've said a million times"—Mac sighs—"Die Hard is an action movie that takes place primarily on Christmas Eve, and has little to nothing to do with themes relating to Christmas. In fact…"
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December 2015
"Jack, please! Can't we just agree to disagree?!"
"Sorry, man. No can do. My man Bruce's honor is at stake."
"Are you two still arguing about whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie?"
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December 2016
"A gen-u-ine Christmas miracle… Check! A white Christmas for Riley… Check! Christmas pastrami… Check! You know what's missing don't you?" Jack asked after pretending to check items off an imaginary list.
"Dessert?"
"No, Mac, though that's an excellent idea. Anyone else?"
"Hot chocolate?"
"Another good idea, but no, Riley."
"Presents?"
"A food coma?"
"Sleep?"
"Your mission reports?"
"World peace?"
"Ha-ha. Very funny. Y'all are doin' that on purpose."
"Duh," Bozer quietly muttered.
Those closest to Bozer tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to hide their laughs.
Jack glared at Bozer before saying, "What's missing is the best Christmas movie of all time—"
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?"
"A Christmas Story?"
"It's a Wonderful Life?"
"A Miracle on 34th Street?"
"A Charlie Brown Christmas?"
"ARGH!"
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December 2017
"Now that you're not considered Hans Gruber anymore, you've prevented Nakatomi Plaza from blowing up, and we know Cage is going to live, why don't—" Jack stops speaking when he notices Mac's grim expression. "What's wrong?"
"Hans Gruber? Nakatomi Plaza?"
"Too soon?"
"Just a tad."
"Does that mean you don't want to watch Die Hard? It'll get you back into the Christmas spirit."
"I'm so tired I can barely see straight, let alone watch something that's not a Christmas movie."
"Still wrong about that, bud, but I'll give you a pass this year, considerin' you look like you're about to drop. How about later? Like after 12 hours of sleep?"
"Sounds good, big guy."
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July 2018
"I can't believe Bruce said that. I feel so betrayed."
"Don't take it to heart, Jack. It's not personal."
"Feels personal."
"If it makes you feel any better, I read that one of the screenwriters thinks the complete opposite."
"No, it really doesn't make me feel any better."
"How about a beer and some Texas-style BBQ? Would that help?"
"It's a start."
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December 2018
"Jack, I can't believe you're going to let one actor's opinion determine whether or not you're going to watch your favorite Christmas movie."
"But Bruce is John McClane. He would know, right?"
"Not necessarily. It's just the opinion of one person involved with making the film. I'm sure you'd get a different answer from some of the other actors or other people who helped make the movie."
"I guess..."
"So, we're going to watch, yeah?"
"Hell, yeah! Yippie-ki-yay…!"
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December 2019
"It's no fun watching this movie without you, Jack," Mac says to an empty room.
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December 2020
A new text arrives from a blocked number the Sunday before Christmas. There's nothing but a link to an entertainment website. Something about John McTiernan. The name sounded familiar, but he couldn't think why.
Knowing better than to click on a link from an unknown source, Mac gets his laptop out and does a search for the article.
He laughs when he sees that there are several recent articles about how the director of Die Hard, John McTiernan, has finally weighed in on whether or not it's a Christmas movie. At least he knew who the text was from now.
Reading the articles make him miss Jack more than he did already.
McTiernan has revealed that he considers it is a Christmas movie, which Mac knows Jack is using as evidence that he's been right all along. Mac thought it was a little unfair of the older man to drop a new data point via text into their long-standing Die Hardgument without him being able to reply back.
If he could reply, then he'd say that this new revelation about the director's opinion didn't change a thing, including his opinion. The debate would continue to rage on.
More importantly… Why does there even have to be a definitive answer?
How one person sees or interprets the movie will be different from another person. It's all subjective. Then there's each person's definition of what a "Christmas movie" actually is. Is it a movie that takes place on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas? Does the plot have to revolve around Christmas or does it just have to acknowledge the holiday? Does it have to center on the religious and/or secular aspects of Christmas?
That's why the debate will never end. And Mac would not have it any other way. For him, it's not the annual viewing of the movie on or near Christmas day, it was that he got to spend time with one of his best friends.
A best friend Mac wished he could watch Die Hard with yet again.
MacGyver got a beer out of the fridge and then sat down on the couch. He turned on the movie and started watching it, mimicking how Jack would quote the movie's best lines as they came up.
When the credits started rolling, Mac said, "Merry Christmas, Jack."
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The end.
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Story Notes:
— December 2016: The Christmas miracle, white Christmas, and Christmas pastrami are all references to episode 1.11 Scissors.
— December 2017: Hans Gruber is a reference to 2.11 Bullet + Pen, when Mac was arrested for being a terrorist. Nakatomi Plaza is a reference to Mac's house and it not blowing up in 2.12 Mac + Jack.
— Screenwriter Steven E. de Souza has chimed in multiple times via texts, including one from 2017, that he thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
— Bruce Willis during his Comedy Central Roast in July 2018 said that Die Hard is "not a Christmas movie!"
— On 16 December 2020, the American Film Institute (AFI) posted a behind the scenes video on YouTube where director John McTiernan discusses making the movie Die Hard. Among other things, he said that he considers the film a Christmas movie.
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A/N: Merry Christmas!
Many thanks to Celticgal1041 for proofing this story. Any remaining mistakes are Hans Gruber's fault. ;o)
Thanks for reading!
Please do not repost or use this or any of my other works on another site or app without my knowledge or and Archive of Our Own are the only two sites (as AZGirl on both) where my fiction should be posted. Thank you!