I listened to the song 'Still Fighting It' by Lee Chan Sol on repeat while writing this! (That song has also been added to my Obi-Wan and Ahsoka playlist, which you can find on my spotify (username katierosefun).
this fic could also honestly be seen as canon-compliant or canon-divergent, so I'll leave that up to you guys!
Ahsoka wasn't sure where she was going. Just that her feet led her past vendors and clubs and bars full of leering drunks and teenagers who were desperately trying to look older than they actually were. Ahsoka paused near one of the clubs, tilted her head back to look at the windows in the upper floor. There was a group of people not much older than her in there—kids, she almost thought, before catching herself. Dancing and singing to a song that Ahsoka vaguely knew.
Something splattered near her, and Ahsoka moved out of the way to avoid a man stumbling out of the building.
"Don't come back here!" someone shouted from inside the club, and then the door slid shut.
"Didn't wanna, anyways," came the mumble of the person next to Ahsoka. The one who smelled strongly of drink and now vomit. Ahsoka glanced to the side, spotted the pitiful exile. Unfortunately for her, the exile had noticed Ahsoka too, and now he took a step towards Ahsoka. "Got any plans, missy? Looking for something to—"
Ahsoka sidestepped, hurried away. To her relief, the man didn't follow her.
A cold wind brushed past her, carrying with it the smell of frying foods, garbage. Ahsoka wished that she had her cloak. That was something that she had wished for a while now—she wished that much when she was stuck in her cell, where she was fairly certain the temperatures were kept cold on purpose.
Ahsoka folded her arms across her chest, her hands subtly rubbing warmth back into her limbs. She became only more painfully aware that she didn't have her lightsabers with her. Each time someone looked her way for a moment too long or pushed past her—she became more aware of that lack. No cloak, no lightsabers, no credits, no one at her back.
Ahsoka tightened her grip around herself. She wasn't going to feel sorry for herself. She wouldn't.
She could find a ship. Maybe she could sneak aboard a cargo load, head off to…anywhere. Everywhere.
And then what?
She had some mechanic skills. Maybe she could do that. Worst comes to worst, become a bounty hunter…like Ventress? Ahsoka shuddered at the thought, and then wondered where that woman had gone anyways.
Ahsoka was about to turn another corner when she heard it—footsteps. Heavy, dragging. Right behind her.
Ahsoka paused.
The footsteps paused.
Ahsoka lowered her hands from her arms. Breathed in. Looked up to find someone coming from the opposite end of the alley. Something glinted in the shadows. When Ahsoka looked a little higher, she saw a pair of gleaming eyes near one of the windows. Someone was closing the curtains on her other side.
The footsteps behind her started again.
Ahsoka sighed, dropping her head.
When the first person came for her, Ahsoka was ready. She grabbed the wrist behind her, yanked her attacker as hard as she could. A sharp cry, a hard thump later, Ahsoka looked down at the face of a man with a few scars running down his face. He glowered up at her, but Ahsoka was already backing away as the next attacker came.
More men, some young women. Maybe a little older than Ahsoka.
Ahsoka dodged a vibroblade—grabbed the owner's wrists and twisted. Another yell of pain, and Ahsoka twisted around to catch the fist from another idiot. Ahsoka shoved her attacker back, drove a boot into his chest.
She turned around, half-expecting to see the mess of men and women on the ground, but—nope, pain suddenly flared at her jaw. Ahsoka toppled backwards, her hand reaching up to her lips, her cheek. She tasted metal.
Ahsoka pulled away her hand, looked at the blood smudged on her fingertips. She grimaced. "Ouch."
Her attackers were all struggling up to their feet, eyes hungry and angry. The person with the vibroblade twisted it around in his hands.
"Well," Ahsoka said, dropping her hand, "this was fun."
With that, she turned around and ran out of the alleyway.
She heard shouts behind her—loud, angry, but she was faster. She dodged in between people, ignoring the annoyed cries tossed in her direction. She ran and ran and ran, her heart pounding harder in her chest than she would have liked. Bit down on the inside of her cheek and regretted it an instant later.
Even when the shouting died down, Ahsoka didn't allow herself to stop running. She slowed to a jog once she saw the friendlier lights of dining areas, the quieter pubs and bars that closed earlier. Some of the places were actually closing, the lights turning down or owners stepping out of the buildings to lock up. A few people shot Ahsoka some bewildered looks before turning quickly back around.
Ahsoka wiped at her mouth, wincing at the throbbing pain. She caught her reflection, noticed the slight swelling in her cheek already. Her eyes suddenly were too hot, and she blinked a few times. Took a step back and swiped a hand across her eyes, hating that they stung even more.
It wasn't even like it hurt that much—it didn't hurt that much—
"You look miserable."
Ahsoka dropped her hand, spun around.
Obi-Wan stood behind her, one arm carrying a cloak and the other half-extended to Ahsoka.
Ahsoka stared.
"Master Kenobi?" Ahsoka asked, hating how her voice cracked. "What are you—how'd you—"
Obi-Wan just pointed up.
Ahsoka looked.
Dex's.
Ahsoka looked back at Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan gestured to the diner. "Dinner?"
"You're hurt."
"It's nothing," Ahsoka said, pushing around the crumbs on her plate with her fork. She was surprised by how much she ate. She didn't think she would.
They were the only ones in the diner. Ahsoka hadn't thought that was possible, especially at a place like Dex's, but right now, the only sounds that could be heard was the occasional drip of water from a faucet and the quiet hum of the lights above them. Even Dex and his droid had disappeared.
"Why are you here?" Ahsoka asked. She pushed aside her plate and forced herself to look up at Obi-Wan. He looked tired, mostly. Paler than normal. "Are you going to talk me into coming back?"
"Would you want me to?"
Ahsoka's eyes skittered to the space between them. The table was cold beneath her hands. "No," she said.
Obi-Wan didn't say anything to that—not right away. Ahsoka wasn't sure if she wanted him to.
"I wanted to make sure you were prepared," Obi-Wan said at last. "You left in a hurry."
"I wonder why." Ahsoka didn't mean her voice to came out as coldly as it did. She turned to look out the window. More lights were turning off. More people were rushing back home, wherever that might be.
The people blurred before her.
Ahsoka cleared her throat and turned back around to Obi-Wan. "So I'm asking you again—why are you here?"
Obi-Wan just looked at her. Ahsoka thought that maybe she might have made him angry. Maybe this was where he walked out of the diner because Ahsoka wasn't in the mood to talk, and she almost wished that he would walk out.
When Obi-Wan stood up, Ahsoka steeled herself for the leaving. She kept her eyes staring straight ahead as the chair in front of her emptied—but instead of walking out of the diner, Obi-Wan walked towards her. Ahsoka drew her shoulders inwards, but all that came was a cloak. The one that Obi-Wan had carried.
The warm, scratchy material dropped around Ahsoka's shoulders. She looked up at Obi-Wan, but he was already walking back to his chair.
"It'll get colder," he said, not quite looking at her. "And if you're planning to go off-world, there might be even colder temperatures out there." He nodded to Ahsoka. "If you look in your pocket, you'll find some credits there."
"You're going to need money," Obi-Wan continued "Be careful with spending. There should be enough to get you a ship, pay rent for a short while, depending on where you are."
Ahsoka reached into her pocket. She found the credits—a lot of them, all of them cold. She dragged them out, stared down at the credits in her hand. She curled her fingers over them, them uncurled them. The credits clattered against the table.
Obi-Wan looked at her.
"I don't need all of this," Ahsoka said.
"It can help." Obi-Wan's voice was quiet.
"And that's all you want to do?" Ahsoka asked. She lifted her chin. "Help?"
Obi-Wan's features tightened. "You know I do."
"No," Ahsoka replied, looking back out the window. "I really don't."
The light above them flickered.
"I do want to help you, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan said. Ahsoka kept her eyes trained to the window. There was no one out in the streets now. Just a darkness occasionally lit by a flickering streetlight or a speeder passing by. She didn't know what time it was. "Being alone is no easy task."
"Don't you think I already know that?" Ahsoka asked tightly.
Another moment passed.
"Yes," Obi-Wan said quietly. "I know you do."
"So then," Ahsoka said, looking at Obi-Wan, "you know why I can't accept all this."
"Are you so sure of that?"
Ahsoka lowered her gaze to the table.
Obi-Wan sighed. "I am trying to help you," he said quietly. "In a way that I can and am able to right now."
"Because you couldn't before, you mean," Ahsoka murmured.
Silence.
"I'm right, aren't I?" Ahsoka asked quietly, dragging her gaze back up to Obi-Wan. His brows were furrowed, his expression nearly hurt, so Ahsoka focused on the light flickering above them. If Dex came around, she might have to tell him about that. If he ever came out at all, that was. She was starting to suspect that he wouldn't.
"Is that really what you think of me?" Obi-Wan's voice was definitely hurt. Ahsoka had hurt him. She suddenly wanted to take every single word back, but a small, angry part of her clung tighter still.
"Did you really think that I would kill someone?"
"I—no, Ahsoka I didn't. I didn't."
Ahsoka looked at Obi-Wan. His eyes were wide, pained. "You must believe me," he said. "When I heard the news…"
"Then why didn't you say something?" Ahsoka asked sharply. Her cheek throbbed. "You just…stood there—and I thought that everyone had given up on me, and I thought you gave up on me, and Master Plo, and…" Ahsoka's chest hurt too, and she dimly thought that that was odd, because it wasn't like someone had kicked her there, but—
She stood up, the chair scraping back against the floor. She didn't look at Obi-Wan as she took off the cloak.
"Ahsoka—"
Ahsoka yanked off the cloak, dropped it on the chair. Her cheek and mouth hurt more than ever, and the burning sensation in her eyes returned with a vengeance. "Thanks for the meal," she muttered, pushing past the table. To the doors. She would get to the doors, and then she'd walk out—again—and then…
She pushed through the door, meeting the cold air. A police siren wailed from a few streets away. The noise hurt her head, along with everything else, and that burning in Ahsoka's eyes was growing by the second, making the rest of the world go blurry and soft around the edges.
The door opened behind her, closed.
When she felt the cloak drop around her shoulders again, she didn't bother shoving it off.
"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said quietly. "So sorry, young one."
Ahsoka swallowed. She turned around and, through the burning in her eyes, managed to find Obi-Wan's face. She opened her mouth to say something—she could fight back some more. She could take off the cloak one last time, shove it back at Obi-Wan, and walk away again.
What came out instead was a small, half-choked sound.
When Obi-Wan opened his arms, Ahsoka fell right into them. "It hurts," Ahsoka said, her voice cracking. "A lot."
"I know," Obi-Wan replied thickly. "We'll take care of it."
Taking care of it meant finding Dex's med kit, which was surprisingly neater than Ahsoka had expected. Taking care of it meant Ahsoka sitting at the edge of the counter, her feet bumping against one of the stools as Obi-Wan passed her a cold compress, some bacta. Taking care of it meant Ahsoka and Obi-Wan sitting back at a table later, one of the actual booths instead of one of the center tables. They sat next to each other, Ahsoka practically swallowed in her cloak.
"I'm sorry about what I said earlier," Ahsoka said, wrapping her hands around her mug. They had made tea a little while ago. Ahsoka wasn't surprised at how Obi-Wan seemed to find where things were in this diner. She didn't think Dex minded. She passed the mug between her hands now, looking down at the deep orange contents.
"I know," Obi-Wan replied. He was looking into the contents of his mug too. "But you were right about one thing." When Ahsoka looked at him, Obi-Wan was still staring into his mug. "I want to help you because I couldn't before. But—" He looked at Ahsoka. "That's not the only reason."
Ahsoka's throat tightened. "Yeah," she said. "I know."
They both looked back down at their mugs.
"Does…" Ahsoka tightened her grip on the mug, just to feel something warm. "Does he know you're here?" She didn't have to clarify who she was talking about—she knew that Obi-Wan knew, because his shoulders dropped a little.
"No," he replied.
Ahsoka waited for him to say more.
He didn't.
"Will you tell him that you saw me?" Ahsoka asked.
"Do you want him to know?"
Ahsoka saw Anakin's face swimming before her eyes. His eyes had been wider and more pained than she had ever seen them. Blue, like hers, but darker and stormier and filled with a shocked clearness that clashed against the blur of everything else.
"No," she said. She looked at Obi-Wan. "But…if you have to—and if he asks—" She pressed her lips together, ignoring the pain that shot up the side of her face.
Then she smiled, even though it made the pain worse. "Just tell him that I'm okay. And that I'll be okay."
When Obi-Wan didn't respond, Ahsoka continued, "Tell him that I'm okay with my choice. I've got a plan, and I'll be fine on my own. You'll see." She cleared her throat. "Who knows—maybe I'll see you guys once the war's over. Maybe I'll be the galaxy's best mechanic. Or pilot. Maybe I'll have a business."
A corner of Obi-Wan's lips twitched.
"I'm being serious," Ahsoka said. She turned herself fully, so that she'd be facing Obi-Wan. "Just wait and see, okay?"
Something shifted from the corner of Ahsoka's eye, and when she looked, she found that it was the sky: light just barely glimmered over the edge of the horizon. Her eyes felt gritty and grainy and tired, but still, she watched the light for a little while.
"There's a lot I can do," she said. "So I'll do just that." Some of the street lights flickered off as more and more light spread over the horizon.
When she turned back around, Obi-Wan was shaking his head. "You are…" His voice drifted as he looked at Ahsoka.
"Rash?" Ahsoka asked, and she managed a short huff of a laugh, even though it sounded too shaky to count as one. "Foolish? A little too optimistic?"
"Maybe a little of all those things," Obi-Wan said, but he was smiling a little.
Then, resting his hand on Ahsoka's head, he said, "But I was going to say brave."
Ahsoka stilled. She looked up at Obi-Wan.
He still looked a little sad, but like Ahsoka, he smiled. "Brave and wise and young," he said. He dropped his hand down to Ahsoka's shoulder. "Which is why when the war ends, I'll look forward to hearing about whatever you've done."
Ahsoka's eyes hurt too.
But she nodded. "I'll look forward to telling you."
By the time they walked out of the diner, the early morning stragglers were just beginning to come in. The air was still cold, but not as much as it had been a few hours ago.
They both stood in front of the diner for a little bit. Their shadows steadily lengthened in the light.
Ahsoka turned and looked to Obi-Wan. "Thank you," she said. "For…helping."
Obi-Wan's lips twitched again, but Ahsoka saw the lines in between his eyebrows. The worry had returned, she knew, but she also knew he wasn't going to stop her.
So Ahsoka took a step back and, smiling as hard as she could, said, "Goodbye, Master Kenobi."
She waved once, and it was another moment before Obi-Wan bowed his head.
"Goodbye, Ahsoka Tano."
Ahsoka smiled as Obi-Wan blurred in front of her.
And by the time he lifted his head, Ahsoka made sure that she was gone.
Ahsoka passed the diner a few times since that meeting. She sometimes peered in, and sometimes, she just rushed past.
She looked in once to see them again: the two of them sitting together at a booth, fighting over something on one of the menus.
Anakin's hair was longer than the last time Ahsoka had seen him. Obi-Wan's hair contained more grey.
Anakin said something, and Obi-Wan shook his head—but they were laughing a little.
Ahsoka smiled.
She watched them for a moment longer before resuming her path.
A/N: as always, reviews/favorites are greatly appreciated!