A/N: Severe content warning. I urge you, if you feel uncomfortable with the material, do not read it. If you have concerns, please message me privately. I have bolded the next chapter heading so it can be easily found. You have been warned. Credit to TacoTuesday137 for turning my terrible rough draft into what you see below.
Chapter 31
She's trapped. No matter how far she runs, and no matter where she hides away, there is no where she's safe. He's always there. Right there, just across the hall, waiting. Waiting for her. His smile seems sweet and innocent, but she knows it too well. She's seen it before; let it trick her into feeling safe. She knows what he's planning, and what he wants.
"Hey. Thought we could have some fun before class."
It's not a request, it's a demand. She knows not to say no. He trained her not to, after all. It will hurt if she says no, but then, it always does. She knows she can't escape the pain
He forces his way into into the dorm, his grip tightening around her arm. She searches around the room, but no one is there to help her. Her partner, her sister, and her friend were all gone. It was her fault now. She should have gone with them, but she stayed. Her search ends as she's pushed onto a mattress by him. The sheets smother her as he presses down on her body.
"Maybe you'll even enjoy it this time"
Tears begin to form, and she considers letting them flow, but she can't. He hates it when she cries. It makes him the bad guy, and he'll yell at her for it. She can't handle the yelling. Her breath hitches as she holds it back. As she lies there, terrified, she takes in a lovely scent. It reminds her of flowers in the winter. It's calming, and though it won't end the fear, it's subsided. She longs for someone like her winter flower. She acts tough, but truly cares. He's rough, and only pretends to care.
His buckle clinks around and hits her as he rushes to discard his pants. The heavy metal stings as it smacks against her bruised body. She squirms away, but he grabs ahold of her and lifts her hips into the air. It's humiliating, being posed like an animal. Even her porn-reading roommate, who was an actual animal, had more dignity than this. She felt the fabric rip along her skin, and a chill ran up from her legs. She wants to fight. She tries. She strains her leg against him trying to push him off.
But it just makes him hungrier
"Don't make me do this"
His hand cracks against her skin. It stings, and the tears threaten her again. She feels him tug at her skirt, dragging the coarse fabric against her skin. He stops. It's gone. She's vulnerable now. He can see almost everything, and as if he had won the battle, she feels him reach for his prize. She hides, as best she can, in the fragrance of her partner, hoping that by some miracle it will save her. His calloused hands are rough when he grabs her bruised hips.
There is no foreplay. There is no warning. There is just him.
And the pain.
There is always the pain
There's heat. Lots of heat. It's not like the warm fire from before him, it just burns. She needs away from him. Her teeth squeeze on her tongue to stifle her screams. She buries her face in her partner's pillow, hoping for a shred of relief, a shred of love. Yet, nothing. It's just him
All those years fighting monsters, and not one of those cuts by a weapon had hurt as much as this. With each thrust, she felt her body tearing apart. With each thrust, she felt her heart crumble a little more. It was always like this. All twenty-seven times. All of them! It never felt anything like what they said. It was never sweet, and it was never good. Did they just lie to her?
She counted them all. Each painful thrust. It was consistent, like a machine. At first, it took only one hundred and thirty four. Yesterday it was one hundred and ninety eight. Distractions. Her friends
The white haired heiress, who took her into town and bought her ice cream, held her hand, and helped her with her homework. She was nice, if a bit shouty. But she cared. She cared...
One hundred and five.
The black haired faunus who lent her books, hung out in the library, and offered to spar with her on occasion. She was quiet, and always smelled like lavender. It was normally soothing.
One hundred and seventy six
The golden haired boxer. Her sister. The girl who would kill him without remorse for even thinking about being sexual with her. Where was she now? Where was she when she was really needed. She was in class, being studious.
Two hundred.
He surpasses himself. The pain hasn't subsided, and won't. Each thrust is like a hammer, and she can feel the bruising getting worse. She fights the tears, but they disobey. They fall quietly onto the snowy flower, tainting the only relief she had left. He grunts at her. She pleads that he's close.
He isn't.
He's been training. Almost every night, he trains with his own partner, only to use the effort here. It was always getting longer, never ending. It was hell. She could feel the pain in her chest, in her arms, and in her hands. They began to fail, no longer able to hold her up. She collapsed forward, and he hit something new. The pain seared through her body, feeling like she had been submerged in boiling oil.
At least that would result in death. This will never end. The pain never stops.
He had surpassed two hundred and fifty. It would be soon now, It had to be. As if she had any control over it. His hands dig into her hips as he uses them to pull her closer, forcing deeper.
Each time he reached fully forward, he presses against the end, threatening to break through the small, spongy skin.
They increased with speed and force. He was close. It might soon be over. He tugged her close one last time. She ended the counter at two hundred and sixty one. She could feel it. The warmth washing over the tears and the bruises, stinging the wounds one last time.
She knew he could sense it. He had too. He pushed more frequently when it was risky, like he wanted something more. Today was the worst. She let the tears soak into her partner's pillow. Why would he do this?
All of her money went to the pills. The pharmacist even knew her name. She could never pay for the things she needed, because she was saving herself. He never had to. He just smiled at it. He would never have to deal with it. He would be happy not to.
She hears his buckle clack against itself as he redressed. She finally let her hips collapse. She hurt. She laid on the bed, defeated, tired, and dirtied. He yanks her skirt down over her legs. He leans over her head. He whispers into her ear.
"Thanks, Ruby. I had a great time."
Why, Jaune? Please...
Chapter 32
Weiss was torn from her ever-pleasant dreams about the adorable girl in the other bed by an unholy, blood-curdling scream. Her body jerked bolt-upright in the bed, the covers flinging off. What in the world could be making that sound? Her head snapped over to Ruby.
oh FUCK
Ruby was sitting up with her back pressed hard against the headboard, the sheets pulled taut up to her chin, as if she was shielding herself. Ruby's screams quickly devolved into uncontrollable sobbing. As if she had teleported, Weiss suddenly found herself kneeling at the edge of the bed, her knees stinging from where they had been slid across the carpet.
"Ruby! Are you okay?!"
Ruby shrieked as she looked over, recoiling slightly at the sudden presence. Weiss's heart stopped. Was it her? Had she done something wrong? Any thoughts about it being her fault were immediately washed away as the sobbing mass pummelled into her, knocking them both off the bed and onto the carpet between the two beds. Ruby sobbed purposefully into Weiss's neck as she lay her weight down. Weiss hadn't had time to react yet, and was a little frightened by how forcefully she had been thrown to the floor. Her heart rate quickened as the mass of person on her chest squeezed her much too tight, her breath being forced out. This was only a minor inconvenience compared to whatever her Ruby was crying about.
What did I do? What do I DO?
Weiss wiggled her arms out from their trapped place at her side and wound them around Ruby's torso, bringing one hand up to stroke the trembling messy hair. Ruby's sobs were deafening in her ear, especially in the sound-dampened room, but she refused to let the ringing bother her. Ruby came first.
I'm not even going to spin that in a perverted way. Ruby is the number one priority.
She pulled her arms tighter around the girl, not quite to the extent she was currently being squished, but enough to try and calm the poor, crying creature.
"Shhh. I'm here, Ruby. I'm here..."
She let her voice trail off to a whisper, as the girl finally took a breath inward, her lungs shuddering like a machine gun as she fought the tears. Weiss worked her fingers into the girl's hair, brushing through the tangles and trying to offer a calming presence. She began humming the quiet song that her mother used to sing whenever her or her siblings were sick in bed, the same one she would sing to Ruby whenever she had nightmares back at Beacon. It always worked. As it was now. Ruby's loud sobs subsided, replaced by a silent whine, interspersed by loud, wet sniffles. Weiss continued to hold onto her friend, who had mercifully loosened her death-hold, finally allowing her to breathe. She nuzzled her cheek into Ruby's, humming quietly into the girl's ear. Ruby let out a quiet noise.
"He's back..."
Whoever was back didn't matter at the moment. All that mattered was Ruby. Weiss moved her body to indicate that Ruby might be crushing her, sitting up as the girl sat up straight, still straddling her lap. Weiss wrapped her arms back around the girl, nuzzling her head into Ruby's collar. She hushed the crying girl with a slender finger pressed to her lips, placing a single kiss on the exposed collarbone.
"Bed. Now." she insisted softly, moving herself upwards under the girl. Ruby got up off of her, and Weiss quickly stood up and lightly guided the tear-soaked girl over to her bed, away from the messy prison she had awoken in. Weiss half-sat down on her bed, leaning against the headboard. She allowed Ruby to cuddle her naked body up to her and rest her head on her also-still-exposed breasts. Rather annoyingly her heart decided to flutter as she realized how close Ruby's mouth was to her...
...focus on making her stop crying.
Ruby sniffled. Weiss smiled at how adorable it sounded. Her hand made it's way back up to the messy brown mop of hair, gently beginning to stroke it again. She sniffled herself. She hadn't noticed that her own eyes had teared up. Whatever, it wasn't going to bother her, she wasn't even wearing any makeup.
"Weiss?"
She turned her attention down to the head on her chest. Ruby's eyes were closed, and she had moulded her mouth and cheek against the Weiss's left breast. The sensitive mound perched on the end was dangerously close to her mouth.
That explains the mild discomfort. But it's Ruby, so she can use them as pillows if she likes. I-I kinda like it too...
"Yes, my love?"
She tried to no avail to force any unclean thoughts out of her head. This was not the time for any of that. It was time to help Ruby. The girl seemed to shiver a little at being called her love, which amused her just so.
"I think I have to talk about it now."
She knew what it was. Since second year, Ruby had been having nightmares about a monster which haunted her psyche, worse than any Monster of Grimm that they had ever encountered. He had been their neighbour. Her eye twitched at the memory. He always seemed so flirtatious, making many unwarranted advances, day after day. He never showed any interest in Ruby. Just two days ago, Ruby had made a huge leap in confiding that he might have been less-than consensual with her without going into any details. Not that details were necessary, of course. He was the reason that she spent many nights in the lower bunk with her, trembling and crying herself back to sleep. Weiss always assumed they were run-of-the-mill bad dreams, but now she knew the truth.
"You don't have to. I know."
Ruby sniffed, her face shifting slightly against it's firm, naked pillow. Weiss hugged her a little closer, kissing the brown hair gently.
"But he..."
"Shhh. I know you don't want to think about it. Just focus on cuddling, my little Rose-Petal."
There was a momentary pause that hung in the air like a moist, repugnant fog.
"But I'm broken. Worthless..."
Weiss had to physically restrain herself from shouting about just how vividly incorrect Ruby was about this. Her fingernails were beginning to cut into her cheeks. She released the hand that was over her mouth and tried to not sound so angry.
"No. You are worth more than the entire world, Ruby Rose. You are still the perfect girl I ran into eight years ago."
"But..."
"No buts."
Ruby's grip on her midsection tightened slightly. Weiss slowed her breathing, which had inexplicably quickened. He had ruined her. Like a predator breaks its prey before consuming it. Weiss needed now more than ever to play Field Surgeon and try to heal the wound that seemed to be a thousand times bigger than the one on her stomach.
"Ruby, I want you to listen to me. I know that you feel like somehow it's your fault. It is not." she said, emphasizing the 'not' while shaking her head.
"He...sorry, it is an unapologetic monster who deserves no respect from you and certainly doesn't warrant your forgiveness. I promise you, Ruby. I will certainly never forgive him."
Ruby perked her eyes up, a tiny smile breaking across the formerly crying visage. Weiss stiffened her gaze and gave a vicious smile.
"...at least not while he still draws breath."
Weiss closed her eyes. Ruby gave a soft giggle, barely audible over the intense ringing in her brain. Surgery successful, she (rather correctly) assumed. She could feel Ruby shift her lower body, her left leg coiling around hers. Ruby tried to bite her lower lip gently. She missed her lip.
Now? R-really?
Weiss's eyes shot open. In the act of opening her mouth to bite the lip, Ruby seemed to have accidentally caught her lips around something similarly soft and poofy. The fire that had been lit last night during their nearly-sexual encounter was suddenly re-lit, as Ruby started gently sucking on what she thought was her own lower lip.
Do you really think it was an accident?
I hope it wasn't.
Weiss nearly had steam coming out of her ears. As much as any person with a pulse would be, or should be enjoying this, she knew that this wasn't the time. Why in hell did this always happen? Weiss was sure that the universe had excellent comedic timing. Weiss tried to compose herself and come up with the correct way to ask the sad girl to stop.
Okay, how's this: 'My dearest Ruby Rose. I understand how you are feeling right now, and I want you to know that I'm here for you. I love you more than anything. I also recognize that whenever you are nervous or scared you have a habit of sucking on your own lower lip. I regret to inform you that what you are currently sucking on is not your own lip. Would you kindly release my nipple?'
Hey, that's not so bad.
"Mu-uhhh..."
The instant she opened her mouth to begin her speech, her whole body shivered with sinful pleasure, causing the most unladylike of moans to be pushed past her lips. Ruby seemed to stop her agonizingly concupiscent sucking, which for once was okay with Weiss. Ruby turned her face up without unlatching, her silver eyes seeming to be as innocent as the day they first met. Weiss's cheeks were on fire. She dared not look into Ruby's beautiful eyes, lest she get any foolish ideas about her friend and the position of her lips. She pointed at her own chest. Ruby turned her gaze back down to the exposed white skin she was cuddling on, and pulled her face back. Soft mound bounced back into place, little ripples flowing over it. Weiss fought the urge to moan again as Ruby turned her gaze back upward.
Weiss wanted to open her mouth again and try and explain, but she was afraid her nerves would betray her. A smile cracked across Ruby's face. Her eyes lightened, and she burst out laughing, her face still very close to Weiss's own.
You asshole!
Ruby rolled over and clutched at her sides, taking sharp breaths to recoup all of the air she was laughing out of her lungs. Weiss sat frozen in shame as she could only watch the naked girl almost roll off the bed from laughing so hard. It wasn't funny. Well. Okay, maybe it was a little funny. But only a little. Ruby sighed deeply, smiling like a fool and laying on her back, arms akimbo across Weiss's legs. She tilted her head back and looked at her upside-down. Weiss allowed an embarrassed smile come to her face.
Gods damn, she's cute.
Ruby crawled back up the bed and cuddled herself back onto Weiss's chest, careful not to put her mouth back over the sensitive area, but certainly not before placing a scandalous kiss on the exposed mound. It had been a good distraction from her nightmare, but it seemed to have left some unintended consequences in her lower region.
Tease.
Chapter 33
Weiss loves me!
Ruby's face warmed. Well obviously she did. Eight years, and the only person who ever stood by her side was Weiss. Even in this time of debilitating grief, Weiss had remained the only bright constant. Sure, she had told her that she loved her many times in the past, but those instances were usually done in mockery of some humorous action that Ruby had done by accident, like once after she had tripped over her own laces and smeared her ice cream on her own face. Weiss's genuine laughter at that had made the cuts on her knees worth it. She had said she loved her then, and every time since. Ruby shivered. Somehow, this feeling of love both confused and excited her.
Nobody's ever loved me before.
I like it.
Whatever scowl that had come to her face from remembering what not being loved felt like was washed away. Just the day before, she had admitted to being in love with the now-snoozing ice princess, and her heart had tried to punch itself through her rib cage from embarrassment. Now, however, Ruby felt perfectly fine admitting that same fact. But something inside her pined. She frowned and poked a solitary finger into Weiss's stomach. The girl she was cuddled on stirred slightly.
"Hmm?"
Ruby opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. Weiss opened one eye and smiled down at her.
"Something on your mind, Rose-Petal?"
Shucks.
"Do you love me?"
Weiss let out a soft laugh and shut her eye again.
"Unquestionably."
Ruby furrowed her brow and nodded slowly.
"Why?"
A very uncomfortable pause permeated the air. Ruby's hands trembled against her friend's midsection. Maybe she doesn't actually like me, her brain quipped. Ruby shut her eyes and tried not to cry at the thought. Her body shifted as Weiss sat up a little straighter and cleared her throat.
"Okay, first of all, yes I really do."
Ruby let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
"Second of all, it's because A, you're a dolt; B, you're clumsy as all get-out; C, you are charming and friendly in any given situation without question..."
Weiss paused and gave her a wink.
"...but most importantly, you are the single most genuine person I've ever met."
The smile she was displaying caused a fire in her chest. Not the same one from yesterday, Ruby calculated, but one of similar intensity.
"Also you're extremely good-looking without your clothes on. I'll be keeping you around for that, too."
Oh my!
Ruby blushed a vivid colour. Weiss wanted to keep her around? She decided that this was acceptable. She wanted to keep the beautiful compliment-machine around as well. She enjoyed every single time she had been called a dolt, a moron, a klutz, because each 'insult' was always said with a thinly-veiled smile. One that Ruby had fallen in love with. Why? Why did Weiss's insults affect her so positively? The questions that bombarded her head were not important right now. She knew that she was for once in her life, actually happy, despite not one hour ago being tortured in her own head from the memories of him. Weiss made her happy, plain and simple. She also made her...
Uh oh.
Something stirred below.
No, no. No. NO. Nononononono. We're hurting right now! And that thing we just did to Weiss! Not now!
Ruby's body relented. She felt like she needed it. No, she actually did need it. Something that no person had ever given her. Respect. Weiss had showed miraculous control yesterday when she had accidentally asked her to stop. But...that was supposed to be normal. Ruby wanted to cry. She was in a corner trapped between being annoyingly aroused and frightened of him again. She knew she had to get over it.
"Weiss..." her voice wavered, the warm tingling from below overwhelming her. The ice princess opened her eyes and looked down at her with those piercing baby blue orbs that she loved.
Gotta feel good again. Need to feel good again! Weiss make Ruby feel good!
"That thing I did to you by accident..."
She looked away, unable to control her madly aroused facial expression.
"...may you please so it to me?"
Weiss's mouth dropped slightly open. This sudden request for action seemed to confuse the girl, especially when it came from the usually timid Ruby. She persisted.
"Un-unless you don't want to... I mean, you don't have to. Gods, I'm sorry, I just..."
Weiss interrupted.
"Do I have your express permission to do so?"
What do I even say to that? Yes? Please? Yes please?
"Y-yes..." she mumbled, turning away. Ruby didn't quite understand what she meant by 'express permission'. She still wasn't fully comfortable with the idea of anyone touching her in a sexual way, although somehow she was okay with Weiss doing it. Unfortunately for her own conscience, she now needed a bit of Weiss-related stress relief. Her head tried to explain herself, but her body refused to comply.
"I-I mean, it's fine if you don't, I just don't know if... well, I guess I do... but, like, if it's a big deal..."
She was silenced by a finger pressed to her lips. Weiss brought them both upright so they were kneeling on the bed. She gave her a look that seemed to be made of concern, excitement, and mild confusion. Ruby shivered, turning her eyes away, briefly forgetting they were still both naked. Weiss's skin glowed in the dim dawn light that was just now cracking into the room. The sight alone sent shivers up her spine.
Gods damn it. Why is she so attractive? And why am I so freaking aroused?
Weiss fixed a serious stare on her, washing away a portion of the good feelings from below, replacing them with hidden worry. She placed a hand on her cheek and Ruby briefly flinched, but settled against it after a moment.
"Ruby. Do I have your consent? I refuse to move any closer until you are comfortable."
Consent.
Consent.
This was a concept so strangely foreign to her. Every nightmare, every vision, every hallucination. All about this one vividly morbid topic. Weiss was now asking her for permission to touch her. This should have been normal. Why wasn't this normal? Ruby shut her eyes and exhaled deeply. Here was a girl, so uptight and wealthy, probably used to getting whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, who was gentle and thoughtful enough to ask permission to take what she already had. Weiss really did love her. She cared. A smile graced her lips as she opened her eyes, to find exactly the person she needed staring back at her.
And smiling.
This is normal. I like normal.
"You have my consent."
Weiss's smile turned from caring to mischievous. It might get a little intense, Ruby thought.
Chapter 34
Weiss had cuddled herself up onto Ruby's rather ample chest and had decided that this was the place to rest. They had decided that sex might not quite be a good idea, no matter how much trust Ruby had for her. Ruby had had a nightmare. Weiss had stayed up the two hours after to try and lull her friend back into dreamland, cuddling and offering as much physical comfort as Ruby needed. While yes, she had given her consent to be sexual, and Weiss still cursed herself for refusing, she had decided that a heated encounter just might make the situation worse. Instead of the action Ruby had been expecting; being some less-than-straight girl touching, Weiss had simply pulled her friend close to her heart and held her there. The instant she had done this, Ruby had started crying. What she had thought was arousal, Weiss had instead explained that it was something else. What Ruby had wanted was quick relief to numb the pain, but it wasn't what she needed. She needed a hug. So that's what Weiss gave her.
Not that she minded, of course, it made her Ruby happy.
She's not YOURS, you imbecile. We just went over this!
As much as she wanted to punch herself for seeming possessive, she couldn't help but smirk into the soft white skin of Ruby's stomach at the post-coital glow she had going on. Perhaps a small amount of possessive feelings were okay, she figured. It had been eight years, after all.
Oh my gods, we get it. You guys have been together forever. Just get married already!
Weiss let out a snort, causing Ruby to giggle. Weiss lifted her head off of her friend's stomach to look up at her. Her face had contorted into a childish smile, and her cheeks had gone bright red. Weiss realized she might have accidentally tickled her with her nose. She broke out another of her mischievous grins. Ruby flinched excitedly. Weiss pushed her face back onto the exposed stomach and blew a loud and rather obnoxious raspberry into the soft and squishy flesh. Ruby squealed like a stuck Boarbatusk, reeling her legs up and vibrating like an unbalanced wheel, her well-toned abdominal muscles tightening up like a drum. She screamed for her to cut it out, unable to control her laughing. The reaction alone made Weiss gleefully happy, despite the notion that she hadn't actually…
...well, gotten any.
Oh well. Ruby comes first.
She stopped tickling her girlfriend for a second and frowned at the double entendre.
That wasn't even intentional.
Ruby's giggle subsided as Weiss pulled herself up and put her arm around her friend's shoulders. Ruby made a few 'Happy Ruby Noises' into the crook of her neck. It was properly adorable that Ruby's ability to from the lost sleep from earlier. She gave Ruby a wet smooch on the cheek, exciting another cheerful giggle from the tired brunette.
~She would never say where she came from. Yesterday don't matter, when it's gone...~
Weiss frowned. Her scroll was ringing with it's usual ringtone, while not normally strange, a quick glance at the clock had her confused. Who could be calling at five in the gods-damn morning? She reached over and answered before the old song got annoying to her sleepy friend. Without even checking who was calling she swiped her thumb against the screen and commanded that whoever had the audacity to interrupt sexy-time explain themselves.
"Mmf...h'llo?" she asked, her body still tired.
"Good morning, dear sister. I hope I haven't awoken you."
Weiss sighed and rubbed her eyes with her palm.
"Hello, Whitley. It's five o'clock, what do you need?"
"Oh I was just wondering what time you will be arriving at dear Winter's house. You know she tried to call you many times, dear sister."
"I've told you enough times to use my actual name, Shit-ley. And we won't be showing up until supper time, she knows that. Or, she's supposed to. I called her before we left from the manor! I think."
She pulled the screen from her face. It did in fact indicate that she had missed seven calls. Ruby stirred in her grasp, her lidded eyes trying to see who was calling at this ungodly hour.
"mmm Whozat?" She asked, sleepy and exhausted from being deprived of her precious sleep. Whitley's voice called out from the tiny earpiece.
"Is that Miss Rose I hear? Do put her on, dear si- ahem, Weiss."
Weiss chuckled at her baby brother's flustered tone. He likely still had a crush on her Ruby.
"Yeah, sure." She's mine now, sucker "I'll put us on speaker."
Weiss hit the button on the screen and held it at arm's length. The folly of the Scroll phone system was that while being exceptionally well made with good ergonomics and user interface, the programmers had set the 'speaker' function to use the phone's external and forward-facing speaker. Which was like an air horn.
"Hello Ruby, I..."
Whitley trailed off. There was a very uncomfortable silence. Was he shy? Weiss smirked at her reflection in the screen. Of course that was it! He was always so enamoured with her every time she was around, following her like a puppy around the house. Despite her own attraction, it was always humorous the way he acted around her. Wait, this pause seemed a little too long. Had the call been dropped?
"Whit, you still there?"
"Uhh..."
"Something wrong? Something you need?"
Another pause, shorter this time.
"Therapy."
Weiss snorted. Something was always causing him to say that. What a drama queen.
"What is it this time? Anxiety over hearing the sweet sound of a Rose?"
Weiss was very wrong.
"That wasn't the speaker function. You hit the camera feed button. I can, uh...I-I can see you guys."
Weiss went white. Then red. Then green. The she dropped her scroll onto the bed and burst out laughing. He had seen the two of them naked, clearly cuddling after what looked like a 'romantic encounter'. She was going to have to tell Winter about this.