Gamer Girl Bathwater (Or, Zuko Gets His Xbox Taken Away Part 1.5), as requested by gh0stwriter:

Rain pelted down onto the metal hull of the ship, and thunder crashed. The gloomy, miserable day was fading into night and the storm was still raging on as violently as ever, but Prince Zuko was curled up in his room, wrapped in layers of blankets and nestled snugly in his gamer chair. Even after scouring the globe for two years, the avatar continued to elude him, and it was really starting to wear down his (already virtually nonexistent) patience.

The door to his chambers creaked open. "Your Totino's pizza rolls, Prince Zuko," said Iroh as he stepped inside.

"Thanks, Uncle. I'm almost out of Mountain Dew, could you get me another bottle from the hold?" Zuko asked without looking away from his screen. Desperate to placate him, Iroh had bought an old, beat-up Xbox 360 to temporarily replace the newer console that Ozai had so cruelly confiscated from him.

"Why not have some tea?" asked Iroh rather predictably, because tea and wisdom are Iroh's only two personality traits in crackfic. "It's great weather for a warm drink. Although, there is no wrong time for tea."

Zuko suddenly threw his controller down in frustration. "This guy keeps beating me!" he whined.

Iroh set down the pizza rolls. "There, there, Nephew. Remember, the only one who can ever defeat you is yourself. As long as you resolve to get up and try again, you are never truly defeated. When I laid siege to Ba Sing Se—"

Zuko rudely interrupted him. "I don't want to hear your priceless wisdom and your old man war stories, Uncle! I want the avatar! I want my old Xbox back, not this piece of junk!" He threw off his blankets and breathed some smoke out of his nostrils. "And I want to find the asshole who keeps beating me, and when I do, I'm gonna wring his neck!"

Bitchily, he stormed away, slamming the door behind him. Iroh, alone with the pizza rolls, glanced around to see if anyone was watching, then devoured the whole tray and washed it down with the rest of the Mountain Dew, effectively activating his Gamer Mode. He sat down to play, clearing levels and stages that had stumped Zuko for days on just about every game in the collection.

Finally, he got back to playing Minecraft, seeing that the other gamer who had kept beating Zuko's bitch ass in PvP mode was still online.

"'UrMom14,'" he read aloud. "Who are you…?"

—

The next morning, Zuko burst into Iroh's room like the Kool Aid Man. "I tracked his IP address," he announced triumphantly. "Come on, Uncle, let's turn the ship around!"

Iroh had been sound asleep, and he found himself confused by all the sudden activity. "…Who?" he asked.

"The guy who kept beating me yesterday! I'm going to bust down his front door and torch his Xbox so he'll never humiliate me again!"

"I think you are the one humiliating yourself," Iroh grumbled, rolling out of bed with a great deal of effort.

"What?" Zuko barked.

"Nothing."

"Then let's go!"

—

It turned out that UrMom14 lived in the Southern Water Tribe. Zuko scoffed. "I should have known. Those peasants! Of course they couldn't afford the latest console. They're poor. Why else would they be using an Xbox 360?"

The village cowered from the hulking Fire Nation ship (even though it was about a quarter a size of a regular Fire Nation navy ship, if one was being generous). Zuko stepped out onto the frozen tundra and declared to the pitiful assembly of blue-clad plebeians, "Will UrMom14 step forward?" The longer he looked, the more uncertain he felt that he had the right place. There were just a bunch of little kids and old ladies here.

Then he saw the other boy. "It's YOU!" he shouted, spotting a kid about his age among the gathering, wearing ridiculous face-paint and brandishing some sort of weird curvy stick.

He prepared to charge, but a girl jumped into his path and seized his arm before he could rain down fire and devastation upon this defenseless village for one of its inhabitants beating him at a video game.

"No, ScarlessPrince01, I am UrMom14," she spoke with a fierceness that stirred his loins… and his heart.

He began to tear up. "A… a gamer girl?" he choked out. "But, but I thought they were just a myth! A lie told just to taunt oppressed gamers like me and make us think that we would never find the ideal woman! I don't care that you kept beating me, or that you're a peasant from an inferior race — will you come home with me? We can play my Xbox One together, if you just happen to know where the avatar is—"

"I'll sell you some of my bathwater if you leave me and my people alone," Katara offered.

"Deal," Zuko agreed without a moment's hesitation.

From then on, Zuko was eager to get back online to get his ass kicked. He largely ignored his first-person shooter games that were oh so cathartic for a teenage boy filled with rage such as himself in favor of Minecraft. And he vaped his gamer girl bathwater until there was just a drop left, which he wore around on an amulet around his neck for safekeeping, and so he'd always have the memory of Katara close.

AN: I know jack shit about video games and I'm sorry if it shows. Didn't expect to keep getting requests for me to write about Zuko's adventures with his Xbox.