Unfortunately, while most of the world was putting up holly and acting jolly, the Avengers' enemies were still going about their nefarious business. The team had been called out the weekend before Christmas, and Natasha had made the obligatory quip about evil not resting for the holidays. To Steve's surprise, Tony, who always made jokes no matter how serious things were, didn't seem to fine it funny. Since then, Steve had noticed that if nothing else occupied Tony's attention, a pensive, bothered look would come over his face.
Just as Steve wondered if he should talk to Tony (or someone Tony would actually listen to like Pepper or JARVIS), Tony himself appeared in the doorway of Steve's apartment. The billionaire's stated reason for this unusual visit was to discuss the idea of giving a gag Christmas gift to Fury.
"If the Eyepatch actually shows up to the party, that is," Tony said.
His tone made Steve look up from the tablet that currently displayed a pair of glasses attached to a fake mustache. Tony sounded frustrated, and the bothered expression had returned to his face.
"Is something wrong, Tony?" Steve asked.
He'd half expected to be blown off, but Tony's answer was sincere if slightly angry.
"Yeah, something's wrong." Tony stood up and began to pace. "Apparently you've been dispensing Christmas wisdom to everyone, so maybe you can explain this to me. Why can't we have peace? Why, even when there isn't an alien invasion or whatever, can't humans be at peace with each other even for a week!? It's Christmas for goodness sake! When are we ever gonna be able to rest if peace on earth is a myth even at Christmas?"
"I don't know," Steve said. "I don't know if it's possible to stop every war, fight, and crime forever, no matter what sort of precautions you take. People can do great thing, heroic things, but we've all got corrupt inclinations in our hearts as well."
Tony stared at him. "We aren't all soldiers, Cap. I'd like to finish this fight and go home someday."
"We will finish this fight," Steve said, "and we'll win it. But HYDRA agents aren't the only people causing conflicts. You can lessen the chance that fights will happen, make them not hurt as many people, and make them shorter, but you can't stop confrontations from ever existing." He gave a grim smile. "My pa fought in the Great War. Back then they called it The War to End all Wars; now we call it Word War One."
"No," Tony said. "There's gotta be something we can do." He glanced from the Bible and advent wreath on the table to the Christmas decorations around the room. "Are you trying to tell me you don't believe in peace? 'Cause somehow, I don't see that fitting in with the rest of you."
His words were sarcastic, but underneath them was a hint of desperation.
"I believe in peace," Steve said. "I just don't think a day will came while this world lasts that people will simply stop being bad."
"And those two beliefs make logical sense in what way?" asked Tony. He mumbled something he probably thought Steve couldn't hear about old men and their riddles.
"Having peace inside isn't contingent on harmony in the world outside," Steve said. "I came here fresh from the largest war of the last century. There were plenty of nights in the army, though, that I had more peace than I did when I woke up."
"And now?" Tony asked curiously. "When you were in the war, you expected it to be over someday. Now you're an Avenger and you say our job will never be done. You seem pretty at peace, though."
"I am," Steve said. "I don't know if I'll be the one doing this job forever, but for now I feel called to it."
"Not the word I would use, but I agree with the sentiment," Tony said. "Where's the peace coming from, though?"
Steve took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "I guess part of the peace comes from the fact that I'm doing what I'm meant to do. Beyond that" –he paused—"I'm not depending on circumstances; I'm depending on God. I know he has good plans for me. I can have peace even while evil tries to take over the world because I know it'll never win in the end. At the end of humankind's story, good will triumph. Light always follows night."
"And that all means you never have anxiety? You're never afraid of the future?" Tony sounded both skeptical and longing.
That made Steve wonder. He knew Tony didn't like to admit when anything was wrong and that he was fairly good at covering his emotions by being a charming annoyance. How much did Tony himself suffer the ills he mentioned? How much did he need rest?
Steve answered him honestly. "No. I still feel anxiety and fear sometimes. What believing all that means is that I feel them less often. And more importantly, when I experience them, I have something to fall back on. I know I don't have to feel anxious or afraid. Fear is a liar." Steve looked over at the candles and then back at Tony. "The angels told the truth. We can have peace on earth."
"Maybe so," Tony said, and his face looked more peaceful, free of its earlier agitation, as he looked out the apartment window at the night sky beyond.
He was still Tony Stark, though. Steve wasn't surprised at all when Tony turned back around and, as if the previous conversation about serious and emotional matters hadn't just happened, said, "So, do you think Fury'd like the fake glasses?"
Steve chuckled and followed Tony's lead into lighter matters. "I think he'd give you a deadpan look and be secretly amused."
"Good enough!" Tony declared. "I'll get JARVIS to order a pair." He stood up to leave, but turned back at the door. "Thanks, Cap," he said and was gone.
Steve smiled to himself. Christmas really was a magical time of year. Tony had actually listened to his advice.
I had the song "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" in the back of my mind while writing this chapter. I highly recommend it!
Hopefully the final chapter will be up tomorrow, but I'll have to see how much time I actually spend writing between now and then.