On Monday Kendall was sitting with Logan in the lobby of Rocque Records, waiting to be called into the studio. They both looked up when their CEO came out of Gustavo's office and Kendall decided to take his chance.
"Griffin!"
Mr. Griffin looked up when Kendall called his name and regarded him with the same stony expression he always wore. Kendall was unfazed and stood up from his place on the couch next to Logan and jogged to catch up with him. "How are you?" Kendall asked him politely.
"Busy, Kendall. Very busy."
"I only need a minute, I walk down with you," He answered pleasantly, squeezing through Abdul and the bodyguard. After four year in the entertainment industry Kendall knew his way around, their CEO was very rarely actually busy; it was just a phrase he used to make people get to the point.
'To the point' was Kendall's preferred style too.
"I want you to fly Lucy Stone back to the United States so Big Time Rush can perform a duet with her at the Tween Choice Awards."
"Lucy Stone?" Griffin questioned.
Abdul leaned over to whisper in his ear and Kendall presumed he was explaining who she was.
"I didn't know I signed a rock artist," Griffin said surprised when Abdul stepped back. "I hear she's making me a lot money in Europe."
"She's a very popular singer, Mr. Griffin," Kendall told him. "And you didn't hear this from me, but I have a good friend who would be very happy to see her again."
"You want me to fly this girl out so one of your little friends can date her. Kendall, I'm not a romantic and I don't want her to be distracted while she's so successful at making me rich and expanding my influence in Europe."
"Yes, but don't you think the extra publicity both Lucy and Big Time Rush gain will weigh up to that? We haven't appeared in a lot of tabloids lately, I don't give a shit who James dates, but I think we might make a few covers when James and Lucy start dating."
Griffin hummed, but Kendall saw he was intrigued.
"Especially," Kendall said conspiratorially, leaning in close. "When Lucy goes back to Europe to finish her tour and they become star-crossed lovers, doomed to spent months apart while she finishes her Europe tour and then James goes on tour with Big Time Rush all summer. That will keep people talking about your biggest money makers at least for the rest of the year."
Kendall knew he hit jackpot when Griffin's face lit up.
"Abdul, I just had a brilliant idea! Let's fly Lucy Stone out for the Tween Choice Awards. Contact her people, make it happen." Griffin turned back to Kendall. "I know better than to believe this is for the publicity, Mr. Knight, but if I do you this favour you need to make sure Mr. Diamond actually gets romantically involved with this girl."
"Consider it done," Kendall agreed. He didn't enjoy broadcasting their private lives, but in this case the goals justified the means. Besides, James didn't mind being in the spotlight at all and he was sure Lucy didn't give a shit about a couple of pictures in a magazine.
Griffin and his companions stepped into the elevator and Kendall waved at them until the doors closed. That was probably the easiest it had ever been to convince Griffin of one of his plans.
James owed him big time.
Slowly Kendall made his way back to the lobby. An added bonus to James getting together with Lucy was that some pressure would be taken off him and Logan. Kendall knew people considered him the leader of their band and he was fully aware of the constant eyes on him. He hated hiding, but he also knew that one wrong move in public meant the whole world found out he was with Logan. Kendall hadn't been on board with keeping this a secret initially, but he knew Logan and James had been right to consider their image. Big Time Rush's main audience was girls between ten and twenty-five and while he knew of a few who would be delighted he was dating Logan, a lot of them would lose interest when they learned there was no chance to ever date them -no matter how unlikely that was in the first place.
And once Logan finally realised he liked Kendall back, he knew that chance was reduced to less than zero. Kendall was in this for the rest of his life.
He smiled involuntarily when he thought of his time with Logan. Kendall wasn't easily blown away, but Logan continuously left him breathless.
For nearly half a year he kept his feelings to himself while he thought about what to do with them. It was the first time ever that Kendall found himself in a situation he couldn't find a solution to. He had no plan, no bright ideas, no scheme to work himself out of the mess he was in. For once, his problem could only be solved by another person, someone who was completely oblivious to his own feelings, let alone Kendall's.
His naive innocence was adorable and one of the things Kendall liked most about Logan; he didn't want to change it for the world. However, that particular quality made it very difficult for Kendall to find a way to show Logan he was into him.
Until that fateful day in the kitchen, when James was a total ass and Logan had been so furious he could barely get the words out. Kendall tried to keep out of it at first, but James kept pushing all Logan's buttons head on and it annoyed the hell out of Kendall. Those two usually got along so well, but when they were fighting it was usually James who got his way in the end and Kendall wasn't going to let that happen anymore.
And then Logan tensed up when Kendall put a hand on his side and Kendall's heart had skipped a beat when he finally saw something there. It was small, barely there, but more than Kendall hoped for at that point.
On a whim Kendall decided to see how far he could take it, just to see how Logan would react. The thing with Logan was that he was so dense about feelings that he rarely knew what he felt himself, let alone see what Kendall was trying to communicate. It was ridiculously cute and Kendall was careful not to scare him off, but he quickly realised Logan would never tell him what he felt until Kendall made it so painfully obvious what he wanted that he had no other choice.
So Kendall told him, holding Logan closely and making sure to let him know there was no pressure, because the last thing he wanted was to make him run.
That moment in the club had been nerve-rackingly terrifying for Kendall, but Logan didn't need to know about that. At that point Kendall was already convinced Logan felt the same way; he may not have realised what he felt, but Kendall could tell. His reaction to Kendall touching him, his blush when Kendall told him he looked nice, the way Logan started watching him with that puzzled expression on his face when he thought Kendall didn't notice; Logan was an open book and those were all clear signs he liked Kendall back.
The week it took Logan to come to terms with that himself had been the longest of Kendall's life, but he did as he promised and gave Logan space to think. Kendall knew for sure Logan had feelings for him, but it could still go two ways. Either Logan decided he wanted to be with Kendall, or Logan's careful side got the better of him and he would decide being with Kendall was dangerous for the future of their friendship or the band or one of the other trivial things Logan always worried about.
Which was why Kendall was so glad Logan went to Carlos for advice. He hadn't known about that until Logan told him, but he was so grateful that he felt like throwing Carlos a helmets-and-corn-dogs themed party. It was likely that Carlos didn't even realise how important he was in Logan's decision-making process, but he had a way to make everything easy; even when it came to being in love. He'd simplified Logan's problem to the very core; did he have feelings for Kendall?
Their talk after Mrs. Mitchell's phone call helped too. Logan didn't love his parents, but losing their safety net was hard on him and he was terrified to lose anyone else. Kendall's heart broke, because that was a feeling he recognised all too well, and he'd promised Logan they would be friends no matter what he decided to do, even though Kendall knew that getting over Logan was much easier said than done. Before he told Logan it had been easy to pretend those feelings weren't there, but it would be a lot harder to be just friends with him now Logan knew.
Logan was compassionate and sensitive and he would do everything in his power to let him down easy, but Kendall couldn't stand the idea of never knowing what it was like to have a relationship with Logan.
Logan, who was so selfless that he gave up on being a doctor so they could make James' dreams come true, who was infinitely patient, even with Carlos' craziest antics, and always helped him out when he inevitably got stuck -figuratively and literally. Kendall thought Logan was the most beautiful person on earth, who was always right there when Kendall needed him, to talk or laugh or just be there. Kendall loved his smile and the way Logan sought him out when he felt insecure and how Logan was so in tune with Kendall one look between them was enough to say everything.
Logan was everything Kendall wanted in a lover and once he figured that out there was no going back.
But then Logan asked him to hang out and they had so much fun gaming, even more so when Logan started cheating. Kendall wasn't sure if it was deliberate at first, but after the third time Logan brushed his fingers along Kendall's leg there was no question. Logan was using Kendall's attraction to him against him and there was no way Logan would be cruel enough to do that if he didn't have feelings for Kendall too. Logically, the only possible answer was that this was Logan's way of showing him he wanted Kendall.
Kendall was fucking ecstatic.
They talked and laughed over stupid TikTok's and Logan cuddled with him. Kendall wanted all of it and more and he was so was desperate for a chance to kiss Logan that he disregarded everything else, like the time and their location. That was at the very least a miscalculation, but felt like a huge fucking mistake when he had Logan in his arms and he nodded so sweetly and they were interrupted right when Kendall wanted to kiss him.
Kendall felt an intense desire to kill James when he found out what happened to the helmet. It was the most important reason for suggesting bunking with Carlos -he wasn't sure if he could stop himself from choking James with a pillow once he fell asleep. Not even because he broke something so important to Carlos, but for 99% because Kendall had been looking forward to an opportunity to kiss Logan for months.
Now that he thought of it again, he almost regretted talking Griffin into bringing Lucy out for a duet.
However, all his bad feelings went away when Logan agreed to go out with him. Kendall was so excited and so nervous, that the moment he knew everyone else was occupied he went to find Logan so they could leave. The last thing he wanted was to run into James and endure more teasing, or Carlos, who would whine until they let him come along.
Once they were finally alone the day was perfect. Kendall let go, he opened up and talked freely and was more vulnerable with Logan than he'd ever been with anyone before and to his delight, Logan did the same. The desire to kiss him grew exponentially throughout the day and when he finally, finally had Logan alone and in his arms, Logan had asked him what they would do if their first kiss was bad.
Kendall thought that was a ludicrous, ridiculous notion, because he was convinced there wasn't a universe where a kiss between him and Logan could ever be bad. But it was also adorable that Logan worried about it and Kendall wanted to take every last bit of hesitation and reservation away before they kissed, to ensure himself that Logan wanted this as much as he did. So he didn't mind the conversation at all. It was so very like Logan to want to discuss them kissing before it happened and Kendall knew it was a moment he would cherish forever.
But kissing Logan... Fuck, Kendall didn't want to stop doing that, ever, which was why he loved it that Logan's first words when he pulled away had been to tell him exactly that. From the first touch of their lips Kendall knew that it would be a problem to hide his desire for Logan. He loved making out with him and they had done so plenty for the rest of the day, not breaking apart until Kendall was worried their limbs would freeze off if they stayed in the water any longer.
On their way home Kendall tried to come up with a way to get James out of their room for the night so they could carry on in private. Kendall was so grateful when Logan managed to get James to leave them be for a while, but not before James put a major damper on his evening by chastising them for moving too fast. Kendall felt an even stronger desire to hurt him than he did the night before, but not for warning them against having sex.
Kendall hated it that James was right.
Kendall didn't mind waiting with having sex in order for it to be special, but he did mind that James was interfering with something that really wasn't his business. Kendall never told him not to whore around and even helped him out a couple times -when he needed to sneak a date out passed his mother or that time he got an STD. Logan and him were both consenting adults and if they felt like doing it on their first date, James was the last person who got a say in it.
Alas, the opportunity past and Kendall decided it was for the best to take it slow; he never had a relationship with his best friend before and he really wanted to avoid screwing it up. Sex with Logan would be glorious, but for now that was something he got to look forward to.
Kendall walked back into the lobby and found Logan waiting for him in the same place he left him. "How did it go?" He asked avidly. Kendall melted at the hopeful excitement on his face and sat next to him on the couch.
"Griffin agreed to fly Lucy out for the TCAs," He answered.
"Yes!"
Kendall grinned. It was sweet how happy Logan was on James' behalf. "I persuaded Griffin by telling him how much extra attention BTR and Lucy would get if she and James were star-crossed lovers on different ends of the world. Now all I have to do is make sure they go on a date somewhere public."
"Which will be easy, since it's James."
"Exactly."
"This is really exciting, I can't wait to see his reaction when he finds out."
Logan's enthusiasm was contagious and Kendall had a hard time not pulling him close. "Let's wait until Lucy tells him, if this goes badly I'd rather he didn't know I was involved."
"It will be fine," Logan said confidently. "James really likes her."
"Yes, but what if Lucy doesn't like him back?"
Logan paused as he stared at Kendall, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought. Kendall loved it when he did that. "I didn't think about that."
"I am pretty sure she does, but there's always a chance," Kendall said.
"Or maybe she likes him and doesn't realise it yet."
Kendall smiled at the resemblance to their situation. "Then we'll just need to show her James' is a catch."
"How?"
This was another question Kendall thought was strange to ask, since James was drop dead gorgeous and everyone with eyes saw he'd be an easy sell, but Kendall loved it that Logan was looking beyond his appearance. "We'll have to show her he's a good person and a great boyfriend."
Logan raised an eyebrow. "We have no proof of that."
Kendall laughed and shook his head. "You're right, Logie."
"I mean, we know he has his heart in the right place, but James rarely shows his good guy side to outsiders."
"We don't know what they talk about on the phone though, there is a chance James managed to land this girl all on his own."
"That is true," Logan agreed. "We could ask Carlos, he probably overheard a few of those calls."
"Good call."
Logan smiled and shook his head. "Do you think regular friends go this far to get their other friend a girl?"
"No, but regular friends aren't as awesome as we are."
"You are very awesome," Logan agreed.
Kendall's heart was going crazy and he desperately wanted to kiss Logan. "So are you."
"I had nothing to do with this plan, you did all the work."
"You gave me the idea in the first place."
Logan shook his head. "It was all you."
Kendall narrowed his eyes in amusement when he noticed the hint of pink on Logan's cheeks. "You're distancing yourself from my brilliant plan so James will only blame me if it goes wrong."
"...no?"
He glanced up and down the halls before brushing his lips to Logan's. The kiss was brief, but Kendall felt on top of the world regardless. Logan smiled at him and Kendall was glad he didn't feel bad for kissing in public. "You're lucky you're cute."
"Fucking finally!" Carlos yelled when they piled into limo late Friday afternoon. They just ended the workweek from hell and Kendall agreed with Carlos wholeheartedly. "Today sucked."
"And whose fault was that?" James asked him.
The guys started a whole thing and Kendall used their distraction to wrap an arm around Logan's shoulders and pull him close. "How are you?"
"Good. Hungry," Logan answered, meeting Kendall's kiss with a smile.
James and Kendall spent most of the day recording while Logan and Carlos got extra dance lessons and they ended the day practicing harmonies for their acoustic performance next week. Gustavo didn't let them go until it was perfect and Carlos kept messing up the chorus.
"We could go get food at that Italian place," Kendall proposed, knowing that their carbonara was Logan's secret indulgence.
"I'm up for that," James said.
Kendall pursed his lip in annoyance, because he'd actually suggested it in hopes to have some sort of date with Logan. He didn't know how to politely tell James to fuck off and his hopes were crushed when Carlos piled on with an excited, "Me too!"
He tried his hardest to keep from sighing. Kendall knew his relationship with Logan was still new and it would take the guys some time to adjust to their new dynamic, but Carlos and James should both have enough experience with dating to recognise Kendall was asking Logan out. Or maybe not, Kendall corrected himself when he thought of their track records. James was a man-slut and Carlos was even more oblivious when it came to dating than Logan was.
Logan nudged his knee and Kendall met his eyes, smiling when he saw the resignation on his face. At least Logan realised it was a date and wanted to go out with him. Logan leaned in to kiss him and Kendall pulled him tightly into his side, nuzzling his temple when he pulled away. They would always have tonight.
"Logan! The new Avengers is playing at nine, if we hurry through dinner we might make that," James told him, holding out his phone out to Logan to show the movie times.
"I've been wanting to see that," Logan answered excitedly. He turned to Kendall. "Do you want to go?"
Kendall was happy that Logan included him in that decision and nodded. "Sure." That movie would was well over three hours long even without commercials and Kendall was sad that he would barely have any time alone with Logan before they went to sleep. He decided not to let it bother him though, even with James and Carlos right there they would still get to hang out together. It wasn't like he could touch Logan in public anyway.
"Stephanie wants to come too!"
Kendall looked up in time to see the excitement on James' face fade and his expression hardened. "You asked her?"
Carlos nodded, he didn't notice that the question held very clear hostility. "She loves superheroes."
James slumped in his seat and didn't talk for the rest of the ride home. Kendall tried to think of what had gotten into him while Logan brought Carlos up to speed about what happened in the last Marvel movie.
They piled out of the car and Logan and Carlos went ahead to the elevators while Kendall hung back with James. "You okay?" He asked when the first two were out of earshot.
"Yeah, fine," James answered curtly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Kendall nodded, but didn't feel at all reassured. "You know you can talk to me, right?"
"My god. I'm not dating you, go nag Logan with this shit."
James stomped off and Kendall stared after him, wondering what the hell James' deal was. His friend could be extremely hot-headed, but usually about something less trivial than Carlos' girlfriend coming to the movies with them. Carlos and Logan were still on superheroes and Kendall decided not to bring it up in the elevator up to the apartment.
As it turned out James beat them to 2J by taking the stairs and they opened the door just as the door to his bedroom slammed shut. "What is with him? Did you guys tease him about his mole again?" Mom asked from behind her magazine.
Both Logan and Carlos looked up to Kendall for answers, but he shrugged and shook his head. "No idea."
"I'll go cheer him up," Carlos announced, skipping off to their bedroom.
Mom watched him leave before turning back to them. "I didn't cook because I didn't know when you'd be home, so you can order in."
"We're going out," Kendall said, absentmindedly toying with the back of Logan's shirt while he thought about James.
"On a date?" Mom asked excitedly. "Have fun."
"No, the guys and Stephanie are coming too," Logan answered.
Kendall was brought back to the present when he heard the disappointment in Logan's voice and pulled him close with a smile. "We should change if we want to have any time to eat before the movie."
When they returned to the living room Stephanie arrived and was talking to mom about her new projects. It took five more minutes until the door to the other bedroom opened and Carlos appeared in a new change of clothes. He was significantly less excited than before. "Where is James?" Logan asked.
"He doesn't want to come," Carlos told them.
"What? Why?"
Carlos shrugged. "He wouldn't tell me."
"I'm sure he's just tired, babe," Stephanie said.
Logan looked up at Kendall for answers, but he simply shook his head. "I have no idea," Kendall told him.
"I can go ask him?"
Kendall remembered the way James burst at the slightest mention of talking. "Let him cool off first."
"Did you piss him off?"
"I think so, I've no idea with what though. I just asked him a question."
"If we want to eat before the movie we need to go now," Stephanie told them.
Kendall could tell Logan was on the fence about leaving James behind and he squeezed softly in his shoulder. "I'll text him he's welcome to join us for the movie, we'll get an extra ticket."
"Yeah, okay."
The four of them made their way down and walked the short distance to the mall. Carlos and Stephanie went ahead, walking closely and holding hands and it stung Kendall that he didn't get to do the same thing. Kendall kept reminding himself that Logan was all his later tonight, but that excuse was starting to run thin. The week they'd been together had been extremely busy and they came home well after dinner every night. Logan was always up for some kissing once they were in bed, but it was never more than that. Kendall was tired too and he didn't want to keep Logan from getting enough sleep, but he'd hoped they would have had time to explore just a little further by now.
Tonight they would be home late too, but at least they didn't have to get up early and Kendall hoped Logan would be up to making out.
Kendall reminded himself that acting like a desperate, horny teenager was not a good look and he pushed those thoughts away. He had a whole night ahead of him to hang out with his favourite person in the world and Kendall felt his heart swell at the prospect. They spent most of their days together at the studio and every night Logan crawled in bed with him, but their insane schedule didn't leave much space for quality time. Even though he had to share Logan with Carlos and Stephanie tonight, it was more of a date then they had since their first and Kendall smiled involuntarily when he thought of sharing a popcorn with Logan and their hands brushing together.
"Do you have plans tomorrow?" Logan asked him suddenly.
"No," Kendall answered.
"Um. I have to go to library for a bit, but there is a hockey rink not too far from there. Do you want to go?"
Kendall would've said yes to spending all day at a library if he got to do it with Logan, but he loved that he suggested hockey. "Yes, definitely."
"I haven't played in a while, so you'll have to go easy on me."
"I'm sure you'll do fine," Kendall assured him, wishing desperately he could wrap an arm around Logan to pull him close.
Logan smiled up at him and Kendall saw some of the same longing he felt. Knowing Logan wanted to be close to him as much as he wanted to made Kendall very happy.
They reached the mall and got a table at Logan's favourite Italian place, Carlos and Stephanie sat across from Logan and him in their booth. Kendall was extremely pleased with its location in a secluded corner and he sat close enough to Logan so their legs were touching. This would do for now.
"I don't know!" Carlos wailed when everyone had made their choice. Logan always chose the same thing, Stephanie chose the gnocchi and Kendall wanted a pepperoni pizza. "I want all of them."
"Carlos, you like the meat lover's pizza. Order that and we'll go halfsies," Kendall told him.
"Awesome!"
Kendall grinned when Stephanie smiled at him gratefully. That girl was a saint for putting up with Carlos' childish side, but Kendall was glad she saw through that and noticed the generous, loving and good guy he was.
"What are you working on Stephanie?" Logan asked her after the waiter left with their orders.
"I've a little recurring part on The Flash, but I'm trying really hard to get my script picked up."
"Another horror movie?" Kendall asked, remembering the night of absolute terror when she'd shot one herself around the hotel.
"This is more of thriller. I have some interested parties, but nothing is set in stone. I really want to hand it off to the right people. I've put so much time and effort in it and I want to see it produced as I intended."
"It's awesome you've written something people are already interested in, you just started out," Logan answered. "Who are you talking to?"
"Sony is interested, they offered me a lot of money to buy all the rights to the script, but I wouldn't be involved at all. There is also Hammer Film Productions, that's a company based in London. I would need to relocate to keep working on it, but they want to expand the script into a television series and offered me a consulting writer position."
Kendall's chest constricted painfully when he let that sink in. As far as he knew Carlos was still fully committed to Big Time Rush, but how long would that last when his girlfriend moved to the other side of the world? It was exactly the scenario he'd described for Logan on their date, but he didn't truly believe Carlos would leave them until this moment.
Carlos was unusually quiet, his eyes on Kendall while Stephanie explained her plans, and Kendall quickly smiled to hide the panic that set in. "Both of those offers are amazing," He complimented Stephanie. "Congratulations."
"Thank you," She answered happily. "I don't have to make any decisions for a while and production wouldn't start until somewhere next years, but it is exciting to think about."
"It's so cool, can you imagine going to the premiere of a movie you wrote?" Logan asked.
"That would be a dream come true," She sighed.
Carlos grinned. "It's happening."
Kendall looked up when Logan laced his fingers through his under the table and squeezed tightly. Logan knew what this meant to him and in that moment Kendall was infinitely grateful he opened up to Logan about his separation anxiety. The tightness in his chest eased and Kendall squeezed back, running his thumb along Logan's knuckles. At least Logan would stay with him.
"We'll see, Carlos. I still need to talk to my dad about letting me come along on tour, I haven't even told him about the offer in London yet."
"You're coming on tour?" Kendall asked surprised.
"Not the whole summer, but hopefully for a week here and there."
"Awesome," Kendall told her. He liked knowing Carlos didn't have to miss her for three months.
"Does James know?" Logan asked curiously.
Kendall turned to Carlos, interested to know the answer; Carlos and James always shared a bus and their friend probably wouldn't take kindly to sharing his space with a couple. Carlos cringed and looked at them guiltily. "No," He told them and lowered his voice, "I was actually hoping he could bunk in your bus for the weeks Stephanie came over."
Kendall snorted. "No way."
"Ah, come on! You get to share a bus with Logan for three months."
Kendall hadn't even thought of that, he just considered that he didn't feel like sharing his space with James and his hair products. "You can have the bus to yourself when Stephanie comes out," Logan told Carlos, nudging Kendall in his ribs when he wanted to protest.
Kendall pouted. "But we'll have to bunk with James."
"Yes, but we get the tour bus to ourselves for months, we'll be fine with James for a few weeks."
"But what if it works out with Lucy and James demands time alone in a bus too?"
"Is Lucy coming?" Carlos nearly yelled. "James loves Lucy! And do you not want to share a bus with me?"
"Dude, quiet!" Kendall told him, but he laughed too.
"This is so exciting. Babe, did you know James is in love with Lucy?"
"You've told me about a million times, Carlos. And Camille talks to me as well. We don't know if he's in love with her."
"They call each other all the time and James got all nervous when we talked about her the other day. Just like Logan when he asked about Kendall!"
Kendall smiled when he saw Logan's cheeks flush and he pulled their hands in his lap. "I think you're right, buddy," He said.
"Did you set this up?"
"I convinced Griffin to fly her out, yes."
"Awesome," Carlos sighed. "He'll be so happy."
At times Kendall wished his life didn't revolve around making James happy as much as it did, but then he thought of James' loyalty to his friends and how he always showed up when Kendall needed him. Over the last few weeks James had done plenty of stuff to annoy him, but that didn't weigh up to their lifetime of friendship. And in a way, James and his dream were responsible for bringing him and Logan together. He didn't want to change that for the world.
"Do you have any concerts planned in Minnesota?" Stephanie asked him.
Kendall didn't know all the details of their tour, but he had memorised the dates they would be in Minnesota. He wanted to go the rink where they used to play hockey and visit his dad's grave. "Yes, sometime at the end of July."
"That's when you're free, you can come meet my family!" Carlos said. "Mom and dad definitely want to meet you. And hear me sing, I guess."
Carlos' parents were some of the most laid-back people Kendall ever met so he was surprised when Stephanie seemed nervous. "You can do no wrong with them," He told her. "Carlos' parents are awesome."
"Are your parents coming?" Carlos asked Logan.
Kendall glanced at Logan and wished he could do more than hold onto Logan's hand when he saw how lost he still felt. "I don't talk to them anymore," He answered, his voice even.
Carlos frowned and cocked his head with almost childlike confusion. Kendall knew exactly why; he came from a family that was so supportive they'd still keep him around if he murdered someone. "Why?"
"My mother didn't want me to stay in Big Time Rush and when I told her I'm gay, she told me to come home immediately or never see her again. I chose the last one."
It was an abbreviated version of what Logan told Kendall, but the essence of it was still horrible and Kendall felt the same white-hot rage crop up as the first time Logan told him this.
"What!" Carlos exploded. "Is she crazy?! You can't leave Big Time Rush! Logan, you need to stay here with us. You're the only reason I graduated. And who else is going to keep me out of dangerous shit? You need to keep me alive, man!"
Logan smiled and Kendall loved Carlos for saying exactly what Logan needed to hear. "I didn't listen to her, buddy. I'm staying here with you guys."
"Good. Dad always tells me to keep you around, he says 'If you think you have a good idea, always check with Logan if it really is'," Carlos recalled. "You told me to start wearing a helmet. So I did."
Kendall could tell Logan was overwhelmed and he was more thankful for Stephanie than he could put into words when she distracted Carlos. He ignored the fact they were in public and pulled Logan into a hug, praying that no one was watching when he briefly pressed his lips to his temple. Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's waist and held onto him just as tightly, his face pressed to Kendall's chest. "I told you," Kendall whispered. "You'll always have us."
Logan smiled softly when he pulled away and Kendall couldn't stand the fact they couldn't kiss. "I know," Logan whispered back. Kendall wasn't sure what that was an answer to.
"It's really cute, isn't it?" Carlos whispered a little too loudly from across the table and Kendall smiled when he heard Stephanie shush him. Kendall never loved Carlos' unconditional support more than in that moment.
Their food arrived not much later and for the rest of dinner they talked about light, more pleasant things. Kendall wasn't sure if Logan noticed he did, but throughout their meal he kept finding ways for them to touch. Kendall didn't mind one bit.
The four of them made their way up to the movie theatre after and Kendall kept true to his word and bought a fifth ticket, though he sincerely doubted James would show up. Stephanie and Carlos got them popcorn and drinks and Kendall pulled Logan with him to the theatre, hoping for a few minutes alone. "Are you okay?" He asked Logan when they took their seats in the back.
He nodded and smiled. "Yeah. I have a lot of new love for Carlos though."
"Carlos is the best," Kendall agreed.
"Are you okay?" Logan countered. "With him going with Stephanie to Europe and all."
"He didn't say that."
"It was implied," Logan said softly, turning sideways to study him. "Carlos didn't say anything not to disappoint us, though I don't think he made a decision yet."
"We should really talk about this soon," Kendall sighed. Between Stephanie's career as a writer, Lucy and James' almost relationship and Logan going to college, Kendall felt backed into a corner. He wanted all of his friends to thrive and succeed, but in order for him to make sure of that he needed all of their intentions to be out in the open. Kendall knew what Logan dreamed of doing, but he was still guessing about Carlos' plans and he had no idea what James wanted for his future.
"I'm not leaving," Logan said quietly, sliding his hand into Kendall's.
Kendall's heart stopped beating at his promise and he smiled at Logan. "Thank you, Logie."
Logan's eyes landed on Kendall's lips briefly before he looked down and bit down on his bottom lip. Kendall couldn't believe he managed to land the most beautiful person on earth, Logan wanting to kiss him as badly as Kendall wanted to was so sweet and endearing his heart might burst. "I can't wait to have you alone," Kendall murmured, staring into the big, brown eyes he knew so well.
"Tonight," Logan promised.
Kendall pulled up a corner of his mouth and closed his hand around Logan's tightly. "And tomorrow," He added.
"The library isn't much of a date spot though."
"I don't care, Logie. I just want to spent time with you."
Logan squeezed in his hand hard and Kendall was glad Carlos and Stephanie showed up with their snacks then. Kendall was ready to throw all his inhibitions out the window and kiss Logan until he couldn't breathe.
He excused himself to go to the bathroom when the commercials started, mostly because Kendall needed a moment to calm himself down. Kendall was so fucking happy that it was hard to contain it, but he did so for Logan's sake. In the days after their first date Kendall had to come to terms with the fact his feelings for Logan ran much deeper than he originally thought. Kendall loved every second they spent together, but he didn't realise how much he craved Logan around him until they spent a whole day talking freely and getting to know each other in an entirely new way.
Kendall refused to name the new feeling. As soon as he thought about the word 'love' his separation anxiety grew beyond what he was able to handle at this point.
It had only been a week.
He was still so deep in thought that he didn't notice someone calling him until a hand landed on his shoulder. "Hey."
Kendall looked at James, frowning. "Hey."
For a moment they silently studied each other and Kendall tried to decide if he still angry with James for his sudden hostility or just concerned his friend wasn't doing alright.
"I'm sorry, I was rude," James said.
"It's fine," Kendall told him, narrowing his eyes slightly when James cast his eyes.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay."
"Can I still come watch the movie with you guys?"
Kendall wondered briefly what James would do if he told him 'no' when he was already at the theatre. "Yeah, of course."
James smiled and Kendall put a hand on his back as they made their way to the theatre, hoping that the gesture was comforting. Kendall wondered if he'd missed other signs that something was bothering James and he admitted guiltily he might've been too preoccupied with Logan to notice.
Logan and Carlos greeted James enthusiastically and Kendall was happy to see James smile too. Whatever bothered him, James wasn't angry with his friends. Kendall vowed to himself he would find out what the problem was later.
James was back to his usual cheery, confident self by the time the movie ended and talked animatedly with Logan about what this meant for the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Kendall hung back and listened only partly; he enjoyed the movies but wasn't as much of a fan as they were. Instead Kendall chatted with Stephanie and Carlos about their upcoming tour and how they would manage to meet up. Kendall knew they had a couple of days without concerts somewhere in July and it would nice if Stephanie could come out then, so she didn't just see an exhausted Carlos between concerts.
Logan appeared next to him and Kendall smiled when their hands brushed. "You done talking geek?" He teased.
"James got a phone call."
Kendall glanced over his shoulder to see James trailing after them, the expression on his face something Kendall only saw him when he got to try a new 'cuda product. "Good. I hope she tells him about the TCAs."
"Did he tell you why he was mad earlier?" Logan asked after checking Carlos and Stephanie weren't listening.
"No. He apologised and said he didn't want to talk about it."
Logan frowned. "Oh."
"He'll come around, Logie. James always talks eventually, sometimes he just waits until he bursts."
"Okay."
They looked up when James joined them, the gleeful expression told them everything they needed to know. "Sup, buddy?" Kendall asked.
"Lucy just told me she's coming back to perform with us at the TCAs."
Kendall smirked. "Is she now?"
James' head whipped around and he narrowed his eyes at Kendall. "Did you know?"
"I talked Griffin into it," Kendall told him.
For a moment James looked dumbfounded and Kendall laughed at him when he started grinning. "Thanks," James said gratefully.
"Sure."
"Um. How did you-"
"You're fucking obvious," Kendall told him before he could ask the question. "We all know."
James looked at Logan, who nodded too, and then rolled his eyes. "Fine. I don't care anyway. I'm too fucking happy."
"If you get together with Lucy you practically owe me your firstborn," Kendall told him dryly.
"Sure, whatever you want."
Logan laughed and Kendall shook his head. Carlos came over then, squeezing between him and Logan to wrap his arms around their shoulders. "Why is James happy? Does he know about Lucy?"
James' eyes widened. "You knew too?!"
"Duh, I hear you talk to her every night. 'I can't wait to see you', 'I miss you', 'I think about you all the time'," Carlos mocked.
The three of them burst out laughing when James' face turned red. "I'm never letting you live this down," Kendall vowed when he regained control of his voice.
"Whatever. You talked about Logan just as much. To your mom," James turned to Carlos, "And I've overheard some of your calls with Stephanie. 'Baby, I love you, you're so beautiful, can I see you tomorrow?'"
Carlos cried out and jumped at James, who dodged him easily and ran away when Carlos started chasing him. Kendall turned to Stephanie, who was blushing furiously and glared at her boyfriend as he tried to tackle James. "Sorry you got caught in that," He apologised.
"You should get used to it though, they've always been like this," Logan warned.
"Weren't you supposed to find new friends?" Kendall laughed.
Logan smiled at him and shook his head. "I have reconsidered, I have a new reason to stay."
Kendall melted and wrapped his arm around Logan's shoulders, catching himself just before he wanted to kiss him.
"Fuck, you're worse than Carlos," Stephanie commented before running to help her boyfriend bring James down.
Logan leaned into his side, resting his head on Kendall's shoulder. Their group were the only people in Palm Woods Park. "Tonight was fun," Logan stated.
"Yes," Kendall agreed, squeezing Logan to him.
"I'd like it if it was just us tomorrow though."
Kendall loved hearing Logan wanted to be alone with him and he could barely contain his glee. "Yes, please."
"Can we get ice cream too? We didn't have time after dinner."
"Sure, Logie."
"I get it now, I think."
"What?" Kendall asked, moving his arm down to Logan's waist when they reached the empty lobby.
"Why you keep saying it doesn't matter what we do as long as we're alone."
Kendall closed his eyes to control himself. "You can't do this to me, Logie," He murmured.
"Why?" Logan asked innocently. "We're almost home."
"Fuck," Kendall whispered.
Carlos and James were bickering next to the elevator by the time they walked into the lobby and Kendall was happy to leave them to it, sliding both his arms around Logan waist when the doors closed behind them. Logan smiled up at him and Kendall finally got to do what he ached for since they left for dinner. The kiss was slow and deep and Kendall moved his hands up along his sides when Logan's fingers moved into his hair. It drove Kendall nuts when he did that and he felt the familiar stir in the pit of his stomach the moment Logan tugged on it.
"No, no. Not this again," James groaned.
Kendall didn't stop kissing Logan for a moment when he flipped James off. After he made sure Lucy came back to perform with them, James had no right to complain about this.
Logan stepped back when the doors opened and took Kendall's hand, pulling him along back to 2J. This time they went ahead and Kendall heard Carlos whistle, but he couldn't bring himself to care one bit. The apartment was dark, his mother and Katie were likely already asleep, and Kendall ushered Logan towards their room, locking the door behind them. Logan's eyes were almost black when he turned around and Kendall framed his face, instantly claiming his mouth with his tongue.
Kendall started pushing Logan towards the nearest bed and laid him back carefully before climbing over him. "How the fuck can I miss you when I spent all day with you?" Kendall murmured, pressing a kiss to Logan's jaw between every word.
"No idea, but I feel it too," Logan whispered, pulling Kendall's face back to reconnect their lips.
Kendall straddled Logan and splayed his hands on his stomach, slowly pushing his shirt up to reveal perfectly soft skin. One of Kendall's favourite things was running his fingers along the spot just below his ribs and feel Logan tremble below him, but Kendall had yet to test Logan's reaction when he kissed him there. Slowly he pushed his shirt out of the way until it bunched around Logan's chest and only broke their kiss for a moment to pull it over his head. Kendall moaned at the new contact; they had been shirtless when they made out under the waterfall, but Kendall didn't get a chance to undress Logan before.
He was extremely pleased with the noise Logan made when Kendall kissed down along his neck to nip at his clavicle. Logan sat up slightly to reach the buttons of Kendall's plaid button-up, faltering only when Kendall cupped the back of his neck and ran his thumb along the spot behind his ear. Kendall helped him shrug his shirt off and ripped the t-shirt he wore below over his head, wanting no more distractions from making out with Logan.
Kendall pushed Logan on his bed and climbed over him again, softly suckling on the soft spot between his collarbone and his neck before travelling his mouth further down. He kept his hand firmly on Logan as he did and Kendall felt his jeans tighten uncomfortably when he felt the deep breaths Logan took under his hands. He had not considered the physical attraction much beyond noticing that Logan was fucking beautiful, but Kendall had the hardest time keeping his head on straight the moment he laid his hands on Logan. When he started making those soft, wanton noises Kendall was done.
He took his time kissing his way down Logan's chest until he reached the soft spot below his ribs and ran his tongue along it, groaning when Logan buried his hands in his hair and lifted his hips to find any sort of friction. "Fuck, Logan," Kendall mumbled, sliding an arm around his waist when he moved back up to kiss him.
Logan wrapped his leg around Kendall's waist and flipped them over, pressing his body flush against Kendall's, those hands still in his hair tightly. Kendall very much enjoyed this side of Logan and planted his hands on Logan's thighs, rubbing slowly up and down while Logan devoured his mouth. Kendall hissed when Logan shifted just right and they brushed together so good.
Kendall moved his hands up to Logan's hips and rolled them against his own, creating more of that delicious friction. Logan moaned, his head dropping to Kendall's shoulder, and he took that as encouragement to do it again. Logan leaned heavily onto Kendall, but he rolled his hips along with his and his breath washed hotly over the skin of Kendall's neck.
He wanted more, desperately, to feel Logan's naked body along his own and feel his skin below his hands and watch as Logan came undone. Just thinking about that had Kendall hotter than he had ever been in his life and he gave up on the idea of trying for more when he felt how close he was already. Logan trembled and breathed shakily and Kendall had never been this horny in his life.
Logan's face was still pressed tightly to his shoulder and Kendall moved one hand up to cup his cheek, bringing his face close. "Kiss me," He whispered, just before connecting their lips. Logan gasped quietly into his mouth and his hips moved erratically and not ten seconds later Kendall felt how he came undone. It was possibly the sexiest thing he had ever experienced and Kendall quickly followed behind him.
His hands loosely folded around Logan's back and he closed his eyes, listening to his slowing breath. This was his best orgasm to date and Kendall marvelled at the fact Logan was able to do that for him without even taking their pants off.
When Logan regained control of his breath he sat up and climbed off Kendall, perching on the side of the bed. Kendall frowned, because the last thing he wanted was for Logan to leave him now. "Where are you going?" He asked, gently taking hold of Logan's wrist.
"Um. To clean up," Logan told him.
Kendall shook his head. He tugged on Logan's arm until he lay back and closed his arms around his body tightly. Logan fit just right under Kendall's arm and he placed his ear over Kendall's heart. "Not yet," He murmured, nuzzling into Logan's hair. "First we cuddle."
Logan burrowed further into Kendall's embrace and placed his hand on Kendall's arm. "You don't think it's gross?"
"Not at all," Kendall answered confused. They were a little sweaty and his boxers stuck to his skin, but it was nothing compared to the filth that came off him after a concert.
"Oh."
Logan pressed his lips to Kendall's chest and looked down. The uneasy cold Kendall felt when his friends were hiding something crept up in his chest. Logan obviously wasn't grossed out by Kendall, why would he think Kendall was?
"I think this part is the most important of anything sexual," Kendall murmured, going with his gut. He couldn't put his finger on what Logan's problem was, but it was something he needed to correct quickly. Kendall's favourite thing in the world was to have Logan in his arms, no matter when. "It doesn't mean anything when you leave out intimacy."
Kendall ran his fingers through Logan's hair and closed his eyes, focusing on the soft breathes that ghosted along his skin while he waited for Logan to think over his words. It took him a couple of minutes and Kendall used the time to decide if he wanted to push this subject tonight. Logan picked up somewhere that people didn't enjoy cuddling with him after sex and Kendall was dying to know how he came to think that. However, Logan clearly didn't feel comfortable talking about this and Kendall decided to let it go for tonight. They had so much fun and it was way past midnight, Kendall would broach the subject another time.
Logan slowly moved his hand up Kendall's body and curled his arms around his neck, Kendall smiled when their lips met. Logan kissed him softly, pressing as close to him as he could get and Kendall's heart tripled in size when he took his hand to lace their fingers. "I like you a lot," Logan whispered, pressing his lips softly to Kendall's again.
"I like you a lot too," Kendall whispered back, resting his forehead to Logan's to gaze into his eyes.
"Can we just do this every night?"
Kendall melted and kissed Logan's nose. "If it was up to me we'd never leave this bed."
Logan blushed, but Kendall was glad when he didn't avert his eyes. The rosy colour on his cheeks was another one of Kendall's favourite things. "People will miss us, we're sort of famous."
"I don't really care about these people," Kendall murmured, brushing his lips to Logan's cheek to feel the heat below his skin.
"Your fans will be heartbroken when they hear that."
Kendall shrugged. "They'll deal."
They spent a few more minutes in bed before Kendall suggested they change and go to sleep. Logan came back when Kendall was already in bed and gladly sank back in his embrace. "We're going skating tomorrow," Logan said happily.
Kendall grinned. "It's been a while since you came with me."
"At least a year, I think," He answered. "The time Carlos came home with a split lip."
"Right," Kendall laughed. "Whose fault was that again?"
"He tried to check me," Logan pouted. "The guy is a maniac, I would've ended up with injuries much worse than that if I let him."
"I remember you saying afterwards you never wanted to go again."
"Never again with Carlos," He corrected.
"But you're alright with me?"
"You're careful with me," Logan answered, his ear back over Kendall's heart. "And after the waterfall I want to go on date that is just as fun for you."
Kendall chest tightened almost painfully at how lovely those words were and he pulled Logan closer. "I loved our date, Logie, it was by far the best I'd ever been on."
Logan smiled and closed his eyes, sliding his hand into Kendall's. This was one of the times Kendall couldn't believe that Logan wanted to be with him, someone who was so selfless and beautiful and genius and still looked up to Kendall.
Kendall ran his thumb along Logan's knuckles while he fell asleep. His heart felt so full he was afraid it would burst. As long as Kendall could hold onto this it didn't matter that Carlos moved halfway across the world and James went off to do his own thing, because Logan telling him how much he liked him and snuggling up to his body was all he needed. He would miss them terribly and it would take him some time to adjust, but Logan would replace their absence in his life with so much love Kendall couldn't possibly be sad.
Fuck.
Logan had fallen asleep and Kendall carefully rolled onto his side not to wake him, hiding his face in the soft, dark locks of his favourite person in the world, finally feeling secure enough to whisper the words, "I love you."
I have an update on the schedule; I got a chance to visit relatives in Greece at the beginning of August and since I desperately need a vacation, I took it. That likely means I won't update for two weeks, but don't worry! This story will be finished.
Also, I love suggestions! If there's anything you'd like to read in this story, please let me know :)