"James, sit down," Logan laughed.
"I can't, okay! I'm too excited."
Logan shook his head. James had been almost insufferably excited since he found out Lucy would be performing with them at the TCAs a week ago and never stopped talking about it. Carlos and Kendall both asked him to shut the hell up, but Logan thought it was endearing. Normally when James talked about a girl -or a guy- Logan found him crass and short-sighted, talking only about how hot they were, but with Lucy James was just excited for her company.
"We won't even see her until she comes to the studio on Monday."
"I know, but she said she'd call me when she lands, which should be soon."
"You're just a ball of goo, aren't you?"
"You don't get to talk, genius. Yesterday I watched you and Kendall go at it again."
Logan blushed, but he didn't feel all too guilty about that. They'd been in their room pretending to watch Netflix when James barged in. This was on him.
It seemed like now that his friends were aware of his insane crush, the floodgates opened, and James shared months worth of feelings. "Fine."
"Fuck. I can't wait," James sighed, then fell down next to Logan on the couch and dropped his head back against the wall.
"I'm not even in love with her and I agree."
James swatted at Logan half-heartedly. "Again, you're one to talk."
"You need a distraction," Logan told him, but the truth was he needed one too. Kendall and Carlos were still in hair and make-up and in an hour they would be performing in Ellen. After years, Logan still wasn't used to performing in front of millions of people and the nerves were bad. "Do you have the switch?"
"No, Carlos took it," James sighed. "I can't stop thinking about her."
"Alright. Then tell me about Lucy."
James rolled his head to look at him. "You already know everything."
"All I know is that you've been on your phone constantly for the last three months."
"Hm. Maybe I just told Carlos."
"Probably. Kendall and I didn't know anything until he suggested you flirt with Nicole Scherzinger at Griffin's new nightclub last month."
"Oh, right."
"So. Tell me," Logan urged.
"Right. So, you know how I used to flirt with her, and she went around saying she'd rather eat hair than date me?"
"I remember."
"I thought she was just playing hard to get; I've never had to deal with that before. Turns out she was serious."
Logan laughed, because in James' case that was completely true. Everyone he showed interest in threw themselves at him. "That must have been hard for you."
"It was, I really like her. It may have started out as a conquest or something, but I fell so hard for her and it hurt that she didn't want to give me a chance."
"So how did you find out she wasn't kidding?"
"We were at some party and we ran into each other. I flirted and she kept pushing me away up until the point she straight up told me that she didn't want to date me. I asked her why and she told me what Beau did to her."
Logan remembered very little about Beau, but apparently, he had been as much of a player as James. "That must have sucked."
"It really did, Logan," He sighed. "I know I used to sleep around a lot and I don't regret it. I made a point of being a good guy about it. I always made it clear what I was there for and never led anyone one. But she didn't know that, Lucy just saw me whore around and didn't want to start a relationship with someone like Beau."
"I'm sorry," Logan told him, leaning into James' side a bit. "I know you're a good guy, but I also understand her side."
"I do too," James said. "So I stopped sleeping around. Which wasn't easy, I tell you. To go from sex every week to nothing for nearly six months fucking sucks."
Logan had no idea what that was like, but he chose to believe James. "But it's for a good cause, right?"
"Yes," James agreed. "We spent a lot of time together before she went on tour and I think by the time she left she felt something for me too, but then she left without saying goodbye."
"Ouch."
"Right? We weren't dating or anything, but we did spend a lot of time together and so you'd think she'd mention she had a tour coming up at some point. This hurt."
"What happened after Lucy left?"
"I missed her, Logan. A lot. The first few weeks of her tour we didn't talk at all and I felt lost, I was so used to having her around."
Logan felt terrible that he never noticed how hard this was on James. Lucy left over three months ago, but not once did it occur to him that his friend wasn't doing well. If he was honest with himself, he'd been disconnected ever since Julian. In an effort to protect himself from more heartbreak, Logan had avoided most personal contact with his friends.
The guilt washed over him when he thought of Kendall's feelings for him, Carlos falling in love with his girlfriend who Logan barely knew, Mrs. Knight's wish to move out of 2J and James abandoned by the first girl he showed serious interest in.
"Did you call her?" Logan asked weakly. He had James talking now, Logan didn't want to miss out on another opportunity to support his friend.
James smiled. "I did. Lucy didn't expect it, but we talked for the rest of the night. Just about dumb, meaningless stuff, but I also told her how much I missed her. She asked if she could call me back sometime."
Logan nudged James with his elbow. "You did good, James."
"I think I've never been this open with anyone. We talked so much. A few weeks in she told me she noticed I stopped sleeping around before she left and asked me if that was because of her. Admitting that was the scariest thing I've ever done, because then she would know exactly how much I wanted her."
"But you did it, right?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"Nothing, really." James ran a hand down his face. "Lucy had to end the call and we didn't talk about it again."
Logan frowned. "So you have no idea if she has feelings for you?"
"No," James answered. "I'm going to ask her out though. I did everything right; I stopped sleeping around, I was completely honest, I listened to her and I tried my hardest to show her I changed my ways. If she doesn't say yes, well, that would suck, but I don't know what else I can do."
"Nothing," Logan told him. "You did everything you could, if she doesn't want to go out with you it's just because she doesn't feel the same way."
James hung his head and Logan wanted to kick himself for being so bad at this stuff when he saw the tortured expression on James' face. "Sorry, that was harsh," He said quietly.
"It's the truth though. I will get over it, but I really hope she at least gives me a chance first."
"She will," Logan said confidently. "I don't believe Lucy would string you along like this if she didn't eventually plan on going out with you. In that aspect you're very similar, I think. Lucy is not cruel."
"Right," James said, sounding a lot more optimistic. "Either way, I will know in a couple of days."
"At least then Carlos will want to go on double dates with you."
James laughed when he remembered Carlos' crude remark the week before. "I love that guy, but he's so rude."
Logan smiled and nodded. Carlos was brutally honest, but Logan loved that side of him. Last week at dinner he demonstrated exactly why when Logan told him about his parents. Carlos had been so angry on his behalf and said all those nice things about wanting Logan to stay around without even meaning to. "Carlos is the best."
"So how's Kendall?"
"Amazing," Logan answered, glancing up at the clock to see how long he'd been gone then.
"Did you do it yet?"
Logan rolled his eyes. "No."
"I meant; did you tell him about Julian?"
"Also no," He mumbled.
"Dude," James groaned.
"I know, okay? It's stupid I haven't told him yet, but I haven't found the right opportunity. And we're doing really well, I don't want to ruin it."
"Logan, Kendall has been walking on clouds since you started dating. He's so fucking happy I almost can't stand to be around him. Tell him, because you're going to break his heart when you don't tell him and he inevitably pushes one of your limits. I've never seen anyone so obviously in lo-"
"Don't," Logan snapped. "Don't say it. I know I need to tell him, but you've never been through anything this humiliating and it hurts so I can barely think about it. Kendall has always been way out of my league, even before I fell for Julian's bullshit, and I don't want to admit to being a total loser."
James pulled him into a hug and Logan didn't realise how close he was to tears until then. "You're not a loser, that dickhead used you. Kendall will tell you the same thing. I only meant to say that he doesn't liked to be lied to and you told him a very deliberate lie when you said you had sex, one that is going to come out no matter what. He isn't going to care once you tell him why, but Kendall will want to hear it from you."
"I know, I will tell him," Logan promised. Kendall made him happier than he'd been in a long time and the last thing he wanted was to jeopardise their relationship in any way. Especially if James was right about Kendall's feelings for him; Logan wanted to avoid hurting him at all cost.
"Do you want me there with you?" James proposed.
"You'd do that?"
"Yes. It will be hella awkward, but I will if it helps you."
Logan stared at him for a moment, but then shook his head. "I can handle it, I think. Thank you though."
"Okay."
The door opened and Carlos and Kendall came in, both fully dressed and ready for their performance. Logan saw how Kendall's eyes travelled along his face and narrowed when he saw how close he was to James. Logan sat back a bit, but James was unaware and kept his arm around Logan's shoulders as he pulled out his phone. "Still nothing," James sighed when he saw no missed calls or new messages.
"That sucks, bud," Logan told him as Kendall sat in the chair on his other side. "You can call her back after our set."
"I just hoped she would call before."
"I can't wait to see Lucy again," Carlos said happily. "She's so nice. Do we know what song we're performing with her?"
"Two songs," Kendall told him. "One of hers and one of ours, Griffin requested it be a mashup. That was why Gustavo was so stressed this week. We only have three weeks to prepare for the TCA's and he needed the song to be ready before Lucy got here."
Logan hoped that a song with Lucy would consist of less choreography, because he knew he would have enough stress trying to master the song.
"Awesome!" Carlos said, which was about the opposite of Logan's sentiment. "Are we nominated for any blimps?"
"Five," James answered. He was about to elaborate when Kendall took Logan's hand and pulled him from under James arm into the chair next to him. Logan cringed when he saw the increasing annoyance on James' face as he contemplated Kendall's motivation for that move. "Are you for real?" He asked eventually.
"Yes, I really wanted to know!" Carlos answered, utterly oblivious to James' anger.
Kendall's arm closed around Logan's middle and he pulled him in tighter, his jaw set stubbornly.
"Logan and I were talking about how I can't wait to see Lucy. He hugged me when I told him that I don't know if she'll say yes if I ask her out," James explained. "It's good to know you don't trust me though, that feels great."
James left out the part about Julian, but the rest was all true. "I'm sorry," Kendall answered. "I trust you, I just-"
"Yeah. I know," James interrupted. "It's fine."
Carlos was clearly lost and Logan felt bad when he saw his friend look between the three of them to try and figure out what happened. "We're nominated for Favourite Music Group, Favourite Song, Best Music Video, Best Social Media presence and James is nominated for Prettiest Face," Logan told Carlos to divert him from Kendall's ridiculous possessiveness.
"We'll win at least one, right? I want one in my room!"
Logan turned to Kendall when James answered Carlos, leaning into him to hopefully ease him. "Why are you jealous?" He asked quietly, sliding his hand over Kendall's on his waist.
Kendall sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be."
"You shouldn't be," Logan agreed. "James has been talking about Lucy nonstop and for almost a month now I've been wanting to spend every second I'm awake with you."
"Right," Kendall murmured, placing a kiss to Logan's cheek. "It really is stupid, because I know nothing is going on. It's just that sometimes I get the idea you share more with James than with me."
Kendall hit the nail right on the head. Logan did share something big with James that Kendall wasn't a part of, but James wasn't the reason Logan didn't want Kendall to know. "James and I talk," He admitted.
"It's none of my business, Logie. I'm being stupid, there is no reason you should change who you talk to about anything just because we're dating," Kendall told him quietly. "I just hope you know I'm here to listen too."
Logan smiled and kissed him softly. "I know."
Kendall kissed him and ran a hand along Logan's thigh, his fingertips running dangerously close to his groin stopping before sliding up to his hip. Since their heated make out session last week Kendall had gotten a lot more forward, even though they yet had to move beyond that. Logan knew that it was so stupid to let this go on like he did, but Kendall made a point of it to always cuddle with him after and it all felt so good.
Which was exactly James' point; Logan would let him move too fast if he wasn't careful, Logan loved being close to Kendall. His inhibitions were lowered and he didn't want to disappoint. The problem was that Logan didn't actually know what his limits were at this point and that scared him, because he wouldn't know until it was too late and Kendall pushed them. The last thing Logan wanted was to associate Kendall with Julian in any way, but at this rate he was catering a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Logan jumped off Kendall when there was a knock on the door and managed to get away before the backstage manager opened the door. "It's time, guys. Let's go."
111111111
"Oh my god, I'm so nervous," James cried, pushing his hands through his perfectly done hair.
"She's gonna think you're a spazz, dude."
"Right." James stopped pacing and looked over at his friends. "Distract me."
Logan looked up from the essay he was writing. He didn't particularly want to stop now he finally found his flow, but James was filled with so much jittery nerves Logan feared he would break down.
"Foosball!" Carlos suggested suddenly.
"Yes," James answered eagerly, anything for any relieve.
Kendall got up too and turned to Logan. "You want to join?"
"I want to finish this so I won't have to work on it tonight."
"Good call. I'm gonna make sure James doesn't kill Carlos."
James and Carlos played games rather violently and Logan nodded, smiling at him before he returned to his essay.
They finished recording early that day and Gustavo told them to get lost until Lucy showed up at the studio. The four of them had been hanging out in the lobby for an hour and at first James freaking out over seeing Lucy was fun to watch. He was so nervous he forgot his own rules about touching his hair and he was sweating through his t-shirt, that was the point even Carlos stopped making fun of him. Logan pitied his friend and he prayed Lucy would agree to go out with him, he did not want to find out what a heartbroken James was like.
After their performance on Ellen -which had been fucking awesome- Logan told Kendall everything about James and Lucy's relationship over the last couple of months. Kendall agreed with him that Lucy most likely liked him back, but that it was strange she never told him so. So they hatched the second part of their plan to get Lucy to fall in love with James and organised a small welcome back party for Lucy in 2J tonight. James almost cried when they told him they had cleared it with Mrs. Knight and that Lucy agreed to come.
Logan liked the idea of Carlos, Kendall and him all being there for James tonight, whether this ended good or bad. His friend liked to pretend he was big and strong, but when it came to anything beyond casual feelings for his many, many flings, he was about as inexperienced as Logan was. Kendall was worried too, even though he didn't try to show it; Lucy was the toughest person they ever met and right now, James was fragile.
Exasperation filled Logan when he thought of James and Kendall and the utter madness of the situation. Logan knew they enjoyed challenging each other and liked to make fun of the other, it was embedded in the nature of their friendship. James and Kendall were both too strong headed for their own good and still they went from annoying the hell out of each other to joking around in seconds.
Meanwhile, both of them were worrying about the other getting hurt by their significant other. Kendall would certainly retaliate if Lucy rejected James, just like James was ready to fight with Logan about keeping secrets from Kendall. Logan was willing to bet a million bucks that Kendall and James would never admit those feelings to each other, which was something Logan would never be able to understand.
At least it was nice to know they unconditionally had each other's back.
"Hey, Logan."
Lucy was standing in the lobby, dressed in red and black and holding a guitar over her shoulder. "Hi!" He answered happily, quickly setting his laptop aside so he could hug her. "How are you?"
"Good. Well, apart from the jetlag."
"I get that. Jet lags are usually worse when you fly back in time, so to speak. Since its earlier in time in Europe your body-."
"Good talk, Logan," Lucy laughed as she cut him off.
Logan realised he'd been rambling and changed the subject. "Did you get settled in? You're still coming to 2J tonight, right?"
Lucy nodded. "Yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. Where are the guys?"
"Playing foosball in the break room."
Lucy nodded and Logan noted how she didn't ask for James specifically. "I'll go let Gustavo know I'm here. Can you get them?"
"Sure."
Lucy went on her way to Gustavo's office and Logan slowly walked to the break room, trying to fight his concern. He could hear the guys yell from down the hall and Logan was glad Carlos and Kendall managed to distract James for a bit, he almost dreaded alerting James to Lucy's presence.
Kendall was up against James and Carlos and he cursed violently when they scored. Logan had to yell to get their attention. "Lucy is here."
James froze in his spot and stared at Logan, the panic back in his eyes. Kendall jumped into action, going around the table to place his arm around his shoulder. "It will be fine," Kendall told him firmly.
"What if she hates me?"
"No one could hate you, James," Carlos told him, taking his forearm to pull him along. "You said all those nice things to her."
"Fuck, she's going to think I'm a loser."
"No," Logan answered. "Lucy will appreciate it that you changed your ways for her, it shows how much you like her."
"And we'll be here if it goes badly, which won't be the case," Kendall added resolutely.
Logan held open the door and Kendall and Carlos managed to get James through it, keeping him securely between them all the way to Gustavo's office so he wouldn't run. "Ready?" Logan asked, his hand on the handle.
"Not at all."
"He is," Carlos announced after straightening the bottom of James' shirt.
Kendall nodded in agreement, taking a stand behind James and placing both his hands on his shoulders.
Lucy was having an animated conversation with Gustavo and Kelly when they walked in and Logan was glad to see James straightened up and smile when he saw her.
Lucy grinned when they walked in and hugged Carlos and Kendall briefly before going over to James. Logan held his breath and he felt Carlos stir uneasily beside him, but then Lucy hugged him too and it lasted just a little longer than their hugs had. Logan locked eyes with Kendall for a second and felt better when he seemed pleased.
Maybe James and Lucy would work out after all.
"You look good."
Logan smiled at Kendall through the mirror. "So do you."
Kendall stepped up behind him and placed his hands on Logan's middle before leaning in to kiss his neck. Logan closed his eyes when he felt the familiar tingle below his skin and leaned back into Kendall's body. "Who did you invite for tonight?"
Logan trembled slightly when Kendall nibbled on his ear before he answered. "Just Camille, Dak and Jo. And I assume Stephanie will be there too."
"Good," Logan answered, placing his hands over Kendall's when his arms closed his body.
Kendall met his eyes in the mirror and smiled, resting his cheek to Logan's. "Just close friends. And Dak, but Lucy knows him well so I thought I should invite him."
"Do you want to tell them?" Logan asked hesitantly.
"Not unless you want to too," Kendall said.
Logan nodded, thinking it over. "I'm fine with the girls finding out, but I'm not sure if Dak is just as trustworthy."
"Then we won't tell tonight," Kendall told him, brushing his lips to Logan's cheek.
"I'm sorry, I know you hate hiding and I appreciate it a lot that you keep quiet for me."
"I can do it for a little longer," Kendall shrugged. "I'd like to tell them at some point though."
"We will," Logan promised. His cheeks flushed when Kendall smiled widely and pulled him in tighter. "It will be nice not to hide when we hang out with friends."
Kendall spun him around, linking his hands on the small of his back before leaning in for a kiss. Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck and deepened the kiss, loving the sound he got out of his boyfriend. Kendall moved them away from the mirror and pressed him up to the wall, his hands sliding up under Logan's shirt. Logan mouthed along his jaw and down his throat, the noise that Kendall made travelled straight down and his pants felt a lot tighter.
"Fuck, Logan," Kendall moaned before he claimed Logan's mouth, sliding his tongue along Logan's until his knees buckled. Kendall solved that problem quickly, taking hold of Logan's thighs to pick him up.
Logan curled his legs around Kendall's waist to hold himself up and buried his hands in Kendall's hair, enjoying the advantage the added height brought him. Kendall pressed him up to the wall tightly and rolled his hips, sliding his hands up to his ass. Logan quietly cursed under his breath and clung to Kendall, losing himself in their kiss quickly.
Kendall's lips were intoxicating and Logan desperately wanted more, more of Kendall's hands on him and more of the noise Kendall made and more of the incredible friction between them. Kendall growled when Logan tugged on his hair and sucked down on his clavicle. Logan's head fell back to the wall and he got impossibly harder. "Kendall," He breathed.
He hummed in reply, running his tongue up to his neck to that sensitive spot behind his ear. Logan whimpered and rubbed his hips to Kendall's again, tightening his hand in Kendall's hair further. All he wanted was to get closer to Kendall, to undress him and kiss his skin and get more of this delicious feeling in the pit of his belly whenever Kendall lay his hands on Logan's body.
"Guys, there's people here!" Carlos yelled.
For a moment they stood frozen, waiting for the moment Carlos would burst through their door to come get them, but his footsteps passed and Logan sighed.
Kendall laughed at him and set him back on the ground, pressing his lips to Logan's forehead. "That escalated fast."
"Yeah," Logan agreed. Too fast, he thought. In the moment Logan wanted nothing more than to move further and it terrified him how fast he lost his head when he was with Kendall.
For a few minutes they stood there, holding onto each other as they waited for the arousal to subside. Kendall kissed him softly before stepping back and Logan bit his lips to hide his smile when he saw the state of Kendall's hair. "Sorry," He said when Kendall raised an eyebrow. "You really need to do something about your hair."
Kendall laughed when he looked in the mirror. "Damn."
"I didn't mean to."
A second later Logan found himself back in Kendall's arms. "Don't apologise," Kendall told him, leaning to kiss him. "I love it when you do that."
Logan felt his cheeks flush. "Oh. Good."
Kendall put a hand on his cheek to stop him from hiding his face and kissed him again, long and deep and everything Logan wanted. When the kiss was over Kendall didn't immediately pull away and he pressed little kisses along Logan's face. Logan's butterflies went wild and he placed a hand over Kendall's wrist to keep it on his face, standing up on his toes to kiss him. Kendall's free arm closed around his waist and Logan almost lost himself again, because he'd come to crave the gentle way Kendall held him close and the softness in his touch.
"You need to go," Kendall said quietly when he pulled away. "Or we'll never leave this room."
Logan nodded, but leaned in for one more kiss.
"Go," Kendall laughed, running his thumb along Logan's cheek before he stepped back. "I'll fix my hair and be out in a minute."
Logan left the room to find everyone aside from Lucy had already gathered on the couch. Everyone was drinking and Logan grabbed a beer on his way over, sitting down next to James after greeting everyone. "Where's Kendall?" James asked him.
"Fixing his hair."
James raised an eyebrow. "Still?"
"Again," Logan corrected guiltily.
"Of course," James sighed, but then he smiled. "I'm not completely used to that yet."
"Neither am I," Logan admitted. "I'm glad you're relaxed though, I was afraid you'd be freaking out about Lucy."
"I was totally freaking out," James said bluntly. "But then Carlos gave me beer. This isn't the first. Or second."
Logan wished Carlos ran this plan by him before he executed it; James had a tendency to overdo it with the alcohol. But since Logan had been preoccupied with Kendall and his intoxicating lips, he understood why Carlos made this call. This was definitely preferable to James losing his mind. "Good."
Kendall came into the room, his hair now impeccable, and Logan pulled his lip between his teeth when he realised he liked it better messed up. He went around to greet everyone and Logan watched on nervously when he sat down next to Jo. When Kendall mentioned she was coming it didn't register with him, but at that moment it hit him full force that they used to be in a serious relationship up until just over a year ago.
It was enough to make Logan reconsider telling everyone, if only so he could stake his claim.
"Hi! Earth to Logan."
He looked up when Camille nudged him and smiled at her. "Hey, how are you?"
"Awesome. We're almost wrapping up the season and I have been making a lot of travel plans for the summer."
"That sounds great, Camille!"
"Thank you. I've been upgraded to a series regular for the next season, it feels great to have a steady gig to look forward to."
Logan smiled, her acting history hadn't been too great up until she landed the part on Nickelodeon. Camille's over the top energy fit perfectly on children's comedy. "Congratulations."
Camille grinned. "So. What have you been up to?"
"We're busy," Logan sighed. "Interviews, the last bit of the album to record, the TCAs in three weeks and preparing for tour."
"You don't seem happy with that," She commented.
"I am! The band is doing amazing and I love singing with the guys. It's a lot, though." And Logan's new favourite thing was kissing Kendall, which he couldn't get enough of - or share with anyone.
"You are a tad introverted to be in entertainment."
Logan laughed. "A tad."
The door opened and Lucy came in, holding up a bottle of booze. "I have arrived!"
Everyone cheered and those who hadn't seen her yet since she returned from tour got up to hug her. Logan nudged James. "Get in there," He said, soft enough to avoid Camille overhearing.
James shook his head. "She's busy with other people."
"So? Distract her, make her pay attention to you. Offer her a drink."
He nodded and Logan watched him go, looking over at Kendall briefly to see him watching James as well. Logan met his eyes briefly, smiling when Kendall raised an eyebrow at James' sudden insecurity.
Camille nudged him to get his attention back. "What's the occasion for this party?"
"Um. As a welcome back for Lucy," He answered, gesturing up to the crappy homemade banner Carlos fashioned that afternoon. "Though maybe it is more of a get-together, considering the amount of people."
"Isn't she going back to finish her tour in a couple of weeks?"
Logan shrugged, unsure what to tell her. "We'll throw her another one when she comes back the second time."
"You sure it isn't to create an opportunity for James to ask her out?"
He paused, unsure if he was breaking any codes by telling Camille of James' crush. "Um. Maybe."
"Lucy talks too, you know," Camille said suggestively.
Logan shook his head, because of course Lucy would talk to her friend. "What do you know?" He asked eagerly.
Camille smiled at him wickedly. "I'll tell you if you tell me where you got the hickey."
She pulled at the collar of his shirt to get a better look and Logan quickly slapped his hand over his clavicle. Damn Kendall. "Nowhere. I mean, from someone at a party."
"Parties are good for that," Camille agreed. Logan couldn't tell if she believed him, but he was eternally grateful when she let it go. "Lucy has some doubts."
"Why?"
"She hasn't actually told me a whole lot about it, but I do believe she likes James too. I mean, look at that."
Logan looked up to see Lucy and James talking at the kitchen island, definitely standing closer together than friends would.
"So what did she tell you?"
"We've been talking a lot about Beau, make of that what you will."
He nodded, understanding that Camille wasn't willing to share what Lucy told her in confidence. "James knows about Beau too," Logan told her. "He stopped sleeping around."
Camille smiled. "I noticed."
"He's done everything he possibly can to change his life around."
"Lucy hasn't been around for a lot of that though."
"So? You noticed, and Kendall, Carlos and I can attest also."
"No offense, but your testimony doesn't mean a whole lot. If any one of you murdered someone, the other three would help him bury the body."
"They would've good cause to murder someone," Logan mumbled, but he understood her point.
"I don't doubt that," Camille laughed.
"James really likes her though. And he is genuinely a good guy, he never led anyone on. He just likes, well, sex, I guess."
"Doesn't everybody?"
Logan took a sip of his beer in favour of answering. The lie he told to get everyone off his back was coming around on him hard.
"I know he has serious feelings for her, but she was really hurt by Beau and I'm not sure if she's ready to trust a guy like that again."
The concern that cropped up earlier when Lucy showed up at the studio was back and Logan involuntarily glanced at Kendall, who usually took care of these problems. However, Logan was distracted when he saw Kendall was still talking to Jo. He saw white with jealousy when she put a hand on his arm.
"I guess, we'll have to wait and see," He answered when he managed to tear his eyes away. Logan grabbed his bottle and stood up, needing to distract himself somehow. "Can I get you a refill?"
"I'm good."
Logan went into the kitchen to get another beer. He wasn't much of a drinker, but mostly in unfamiliar surroundings. Tonight he was surrounded by friends and he desperately needed some to loosen up and ignore Jo,
"Get me one too."
Logan turned to see Kendall standing behind him and nodded, handing him one of the bottles. "Camille just told me Lucy isn't sure if she wants to date James," He told Kendall.
"Shit."
"She hinted that being with Beau messed with her head."
"I hated that guy," Kendall agreed hotly. "Biggest asshole I ever met. Who does a thing like that?"
Logan stared up at Kendall in awe. His boyfriend was loyal to a fault and thus Logan understood perfectly why he couldn't grasp what Beau's deal was. To Logan Kendall's fierce loyalty and protectiveness meant more than he could even begin to describe, because Logan hoped with all his heart Kendall would have the same reaction when he finally worked up the courage to tell him about Julian. "You're right," Logan agreed when he found his voice, looking away from Kendall.
Gentle fingers laced through his below the counter and Logan's intense desire to hide away to Kendall's body returned full force. "You okay?" Kendall asked him, because of course he noticed Logan's hopeful desperation.
It took everything in Logan not to meet Kendall's eyes next, because he knew Kendall would see everything. Logan couldn't do it yet, not now. His chest tightened painfully and he felt cold sweat break out on his back at the mere thought of Julian. "Yes," He managed to say, taking another sip of his beer to hide his shortness of breath.
Kendall didn't answer and instead squeezed softly in his hand before letting go of it and walking away. He knew, Logan realised, and his hands started shaking in effort to control the impending panic attack. It was likely that Kendall didn't know what was going on, just that Logan was keeping things from him, but that was still more than he was ready for.
Logan watched Kendall join Lucy, Jo and Camille at the kitchen table, while he tried to regain control of his body. The three girls were talking animatedly but stopping abruptly when Kendall sat with them to turn their attention to him. While he'd have preferred to be in a situation where he could stay close to Kendall until he calmed down, Logan was glad to learn watching him helped as well.
Though as long as he was wishing for stuff, he'd like it if there wasn't anything he needed to hide from Kendall to begin with.
Logan downed the rest of his beer when his hands stopped shaking and took another from the fridge before joining Carlos, Stephanie and Dak. They were playing a light version of beer pong on the coffee table and Logan felt relatively safe from difficult questions once he got caught up in their intense game.
He wasn't sure if it was the beer or the game, but half an hour later he felt a lot more relaxed. Carlos and Stephanie were both very competitive and it took him and Dak everything to keep up with them. The two of them ended up losing badly to the couple, but Logan was glad to have his mind off his struggles for a moment. Their relationship was beginning to make more and more sense to Logan; Stephanie could get just as invested as Carlos and both of them went all-in in every situation.
After an hour Dak decided he had enough and Logan gladly got up too. Stephanie and Carlos were fun, but also super intense. Logan spotted James standing along in the kitchen and joined him. "How is it going?" Logan asked.
"Well, we're not making out with Lucy right now, so I'm gonna say bad."
"Come on, James. You've always managed to land the girl you wanted."
He sighed. "I suppose it's fitting Lucy breaks the never-been-rejected record."
Logan rolled his eyes, James' insistence on keeping a record on that was all kinds of stupid. "You fucking pessimist. Go woo that girl, you shouldn't give up this easily."
"You never swear."
"That's how serious I am."
"You really think she likes me too?"
"Yes! So go win her over, because otherwise this party was pointless."
"Right."
James left and Logan watched with smug satisfaction when Lucy made place for him next to her on the couch. Kendall was still with Jo at the table, along with Dak, and Logan frowned when he saw how close they were still. Logan trusted Kendall completely, but why did Jo have to touch him so much?
"Any progress?"
Camille popped up next to him, looking over at James and Lucy on the couch.
"James is used to easy conquests," Logan told her, "He got scared when Lucy didn't immediately respond like other girls do."
"That's kind of cute."
"Yeah, that. Or he's a dumbass," Logan muttered darkly.
"Or that," Camille laughed, leaning into him a bit.
"I hope she goes out with him."
"Don't we all?"
Logan nodded, his eyes drifted back to Kendall and Jo. She was still touching him and the jealousy cropped back up. Kendall wasn't responding to any of it and the expression was blank while he talked to her, but the whole thing made Logan nervous.
Camille put a hand on his arm to get his attention back on her. "How are you doing?" She asked him.
"Didn't we cover that already?"
"You told me about the band, not so much about you," Camille told him. "I think you have a lot to tell me."
Logan thought that was a weird thing to say, but Camille generally puzzled him regardless of what she asked. "Um. I've been working on some pre-med college courses, so I'm not too far behind if I decide to go to college."
"That's so interesting," Camille told him, trailing a finger along his hand.
"Apart from that I haven't had time for much other than the band."
"So you're not dating anyone?"
Logan averted his eyes and shook his head. "Not in a while."
"You've been going out though, right?" Camille asked, lowering her voice as she stepped closer to him. "I mean, you've a very noticeable hickey on your neck so you're obviously doing more than just homework."
"There were some parties," Logan answered, wholly uneasy with what was happening. His eyes ran restlessly through the room until they landed on Lucy, who smirked at him briefly before looking over at the kitchen table. Logan followed her gaze and saw Jo was leaning over the table to whisper into Kendall's ear, her hand over his. Logan couldn't see his face behind her hair, but Kendall wasn't moving away and Logan bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. This was his own fault, for not wanting to share that they were dating with their friends. Kendall was so hot and way out of his league and pretending to be single, of course Jo would hit on him tonight.
Logan's attention returned to Camille when her hand travelled up to his bicep and she pressed close to his side. "Camille," He said abruptly, "You know I'm gay, right?"
"Uh huh," She answered cheerily.
"Then what are you doing?" He asked, confused.
Camille grinned widely before she leaned close to his ear. "We were trying to see which one of you would snap first," She whispered. "You just won."
Logan looked up when he saw Kendall looming over them, his eyes narrowed into dark green slivers and he scowled at Camille. "Kindly get your hands the fuck off him."
She stepped back, holding her hands up in surrender, and Kendall took her place, sliding his arm around Logan's waist to pull him close. Logan blinked a couple times, trying to process what just happened. "You knew?" He asked her, dumbfounded.
Camille was glowing in delight when she nodded. "Lucy figured it out, but I suspected too. She suggested Jo and I made it look like we were flirting with you to see who would crack first!"
"Sorry!" Lucy yelled from the couch. James was laughing next to her.
"You people are evil," Kendall told Camille.
"And you should know better than to keep secrets from your friends," Jo chastised when she came over. "Sorry, Logan."
Logan still felt a faint desire to hit her, but then Kendall ran his thumb along his side soothingly. He smiled automatically, sliding his own arm around Kendall to hug him back.
"On the topic of keeping secrets from friends," Camille started. "I'm dating Steve again."
"And I've been with Dak for a couple of weeks," Jo added, smiling over her shoulder at the guy who was still sitting at the table, watching them calmly. Logan briefly wondered why that guy wasn't bothered to see his girlfriend flirt with her ex, but then he realised Logan had never seen Dak bothered by anything.
"And you conveniently neglected to disclose that information tonight?" Logan asked dryly.
"Logan, no one understands you when you're talking geek," Camille told him.
Jo laughed and the girls made their way over to Lucy.
Kendall nudged his shoulder and Logan looked up at him, smiling when he saw the resignation on his face. "It's fine," Logan told him before he could apologise.
"I should have seen through their flirting," Kendall pouted.
"I didn't either," Logan told him. "I would've come over if I wasn't busy keeping Camille off me."
Kendall smiled and pressed his lips to Logan's forehead. "I'm glad it's not just me who gets jealous."
Logan blushed. "I hated seeing her all over you."
Kendall kissed him then, long and deep and obviously claiming him and Logan melted. He wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck and quickly lost himself in their kiss. Kendall pressed him into the counter and Logan wished they were alone, because he desperately wanted to continue what they started before the party. Especially when Kendall nudged his legs apart and pressed his thigh between Logan's, moaning into his mouth when Kendall felt how hard he was already. "Fucking hell, Logan, you're possibly the sexiest thing in the world," He whispered to Logan's lips, running lightly with his fingertips along the small of his back until Logan shuddered.
Logan gasped breathlessly when Kendall's lips travelled along his jaw. "You're h-hotter," He stuttered when Kendall nipped on his ear.
"Nuh uh," He denied. Kendall pressed his crotch up to Logan's hip, his lips on that spot behind his ear. Logan dropped his head to Kendall's chest when he felt his erection. "That hasn't gone away since we made out earlier."
"Kendall-"
Logan stopped talking when they were hit by a pillow and he was abruptly reminded they were in the presence of other people. "Stop that!" James yelled.
Kendall immediately recovered and threw the pillow back at him. "Fuck off."
Logan was glad everyone was distracted when they started fighting. He took a moment to collect himself before joining the others in the living room.
"They always do this," James complained to Lucy. "I mean, I guess it's cute, but do they have to in front of me?"
"Hell yes!" Camille cried. "That was hot."
Logan desperately wished for a way to reverse time and stop himself, he didn't want to give James more reason to believe they were as exhibitionistic as he suggested. He only felt a little better when Kendall took his hand and pulled him in his lap, linking his hands on Logan's side. Knowing they were in this together eased his mind a lot. "How did you know?" Kendall asked Lucy, interrupting more of James' complaining.
Lucy laughed. "You were making googly eyes at each other all through rehearsal and you can barely keep your hands off him. It was really very obvious."
Everyone laughed, but Logan turned to Kendall and saw the same concern in his eyes. It didn't matter much that their friends found out, but were they really so obvious others could guess they were dating so easily? Logan was perfectly aware of some of their fans imagining them in relationships with each other, but so far that was just wishful thinking. Would they see the same thing Lucy did? "We'll be more careful," Kendall told him quietly.
Logan nodded, leaning into Kendall's body for more warm comfort.
"I honestly didn't mean for it to come out today," Kendall said, pressing a kiss to his temple. "But I really like not having to hide anymore."
He smiled and placed his hand over Kendall's. "These people are cool."
"Yes, that," Kendall agreed, then moved his lips closer to Logan's ear. "But also, I totally get off on showing you off."
"You might actually be an exhibitionist," Logan whispered back, but the butterflies in his belly twirled happily at the compliment.
Kendall shrugged, completely unconcerned. "So be it."
The rest of the night they spent talking and playing more games, joking around with their friends and laughing when Carlos and Stephanie came back an hour after Jo first noticed they were missing -Carlos looking almost as dishevelled as Kendall did earlier. Logan spent the entire night in Kendall's lap and found he didn't care one bit when their friends made fun of them. He was just the right amount of buzzed and Kendall was very comfortable, not to mention that the soft way Kendall kept touching him and the kisses he pressed to his face and neck at every opportunity made Logan very happy.
Logan loved being so close to Kendall and he couldn't wait to go on another date soon. Playing hockey together last week had been awesome; Logan had not sucked as much as he feared he would and even though Kendall went easy on him, he was convinced he wasn't half bad. Afterwards they'd gotten ice cream and just walked around for a bit, talking and laughing, but Logan regretted not finding a place more secluded. Tonight was fun and Logan was glad that they got to touch in front of their friends, but Logan longed for another date like they had at the waterfall.
Kendall had been so open with him and Logan needed to recreate a moment like that to… talk to him.
Near midnight people started to leave, as tomorrow was another workday for most, and Kendall nudged Logan when Lucy got up to say goodbye. James got up too, but hesitated when she started to leave. Carlos, Kendall and Logan all glared at him until he followed her out. "Can he do anything without us?" Carlos asked exasperated.
Lucy was the last person to leave and the three of them started cleaning up, not wanting to anger Mrs. Knight when she woke up to their mess. Logan kept glancing at the door, praying James would come back with good news. It didn't help that Kendall kept touching him. Logan desperately wanted to be alone with him too, but not until he found out how James did with Lucy.
They almost finished cleaning by the time the door finally opened, all three of them looking over eagerly. Logan's stomach dropped when he saw James frowning and he quickly closed the dishwasher, following Kendall and Carlos to be by his side. "What happened? Did you ask her out?" Carlos asked.
"I did."
Kendall frowned. "Did she say no?"
"She wants to wait until after the TCAs," James answered.
"Why?" Carlos asked, confused. "That's two more weeks!"
"At least it's not a no," Logan said, trying to remain optimistic.
"Might as well have been," James mumbled.
"Do you know why she wants to wait?" Kendall asked.
"Um. She says she isn't sure how she feels and wants to focus on the performance."
Logan thought of his conversation with Camille and decided that Lucy must be lying to him to keep some distance. After everything he'd seen tonight, Lucy had to be into James too. "That's bullshit," Kendall told him, speaking Logan's thoughts.
"You were talking all night!" Carlos agreed.
"How would you know? You disappeared for two hours."
Carlos grinned. "I did. But when I was here you were together constantly."
Kendall cocked his head, turning to Carlos. "Where did you go?"
"No, no. That's classified. You might steal my secret make out spot."
"I share a room with Logan," Kendall answered dryly. "I don't need your spot."
"Still. You might ruin it."
Kendall laughed and Logan turned back to James, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think Lucy wants to make sure you don't lose interest in her after you've gone out," He said.
"How can she think that?! I've wanted her for months."
"She hasn't seen a lot of that James. I think she's still scared to be with a guy who has a very similar past compared to Beau's."
"You need to win her over," Kendall decided. "Show her you won't lose interest once she's agreed to go out with you."
"How?" James asked, shoulders hanging.
Carlos looked at him in disbelief before stomping his shoulder. "Dude! Romance the pants of her! This is your thing, are you stupid?!"
Kendall clamped a hand over Carlos' mouth to stop him from insulting James any further. "He's right," Kendall told him. "You know her better than we do, but I bet that below the tough rocker chick appearance she's just like anyone else. So, you do all the stupid shit you used to do to get dates, sent flowers, write cards, throw frisbees and buy her chocolate."
"Lucy is allergic to flowers and she doesn't like chocolate."
"See? You know her! Show her that with something sweet and personal."
"Lucy likes music," James said slowly.
"Then write her a song!" Carlos suggested, bouncing up and down.
James shook his head. "I have a better idea."
"Awesome. Plan 'make Lucy fall madly in love with James' is in action," Kendall announced quickly. He took a hold of Logan's hand and started pulling him in the direction of their bedroom. "Just let us know when you need our help."
"Don't be loud!" James yelled after them.
Once inside Kendall locked the door and immediately attached his lips to Logan's neck, sliding firm arms around his middle. "Fuck. I want you," He murmured, kissing him hard.
Logan nodded, turning around to slide his hands up into Kendall's hair. Kendall groaned and moved his hands up Logan's shirt, running his fingers lightly along his sides to make Logan shiver. Logan was done when Kendall's tongue caressed his so perfectly and pushed a hand up Kendall's shirt to work it off. Kendall got the hint quickly and pulled away enough for Logan to pull his shirt up, reattaching their lips immediately after.
Kendall started pushing him towards his bed, pulling Logan's shirt off along the way. Logan gasped when Kendall pulled him close, his hands sliding down to cup his ass. He fell back on their bed and pulled Logan on top of him, curling big hands around his hips. Logan bit his lip self-consciously when Kendall's eyes raked over his body, the green darkened even further when they landed on his face. "Kiss me, baby," Kendall requested.
Logan placed his hands next to Kendall's head, locking lips with him eagerly. Even on his back Kendall was controlling their kiss, his lips moving along Logan's just right while moving his hands up to his chest to rub calloused thumbs along his nipples. Logan whimpered in pleasure and Kendall matched the noise with his own, spending some time tweaking and rubbing. Quickly Logan lost himself; he was so hard and Kendall's hands were magic, touching Logan in just the right spots.
His head dropped to Kendall's shoulder when a hand cupped him firmly through his jeans, palming him until Logan's arms buckled so he could barely hold himself up. Kendall popped the button of his jeans and the hand slipped into his briefs, taking hold of him for the first time. It had been so long since someone touched him and Logan gasped when Kendall slowly stroked him, his other hand moving to cup the back of Logan's neck.
Kendall pulled away momentarily and flipped them over, sitting up between Logan's legs to pull off his jeans. Logan sat up once they were off, splaying his hands on Kendall's stomach when he kissed him. He wanted to be closer, to hear Kendall moan too, and traced his fingers along Kendall's abs until he found the thin trail of hair that disappeared into his jeans. Kendall moaned in encouragement and pushed him onto his back once again, his mouth trailing back to Logan's ear.
Logan sighed when Kendall's hand moved back down into his underwear and he popped the button of Kendall's jeans, pushing it as far down as he could before using his toes to tug it off the rest of the way. Kendall laughed breathlessly and kicked them off the bed, running his thumb along the head of his erection. The familiar heat pooled in his stomach and Logan bit his lip to keep from crying out; he didn't remember it feeling this good. Kendall was breathing deeply, the warmth that ran along his skin making him feel impossibly hotter, and when he glanced down Logan saw Kendall's boxers tent.
It took everything in him to fight the nerves when he reached down, hesitating another moment before he touched Kendall. Logan felt better when Kendall's only reaction was to groan and bite down in his shoulder to stifle the noise. Encouraged by Kendall's obvious arousal he reached into his boxers, feeling completely incompetent when he took hold of him. Logan really wanted to do this together, to feel Kendall move along with him and see his lover come undone.
Logan fumbled trying to find the right position for a moment and felt his cheeks grow warm when it registered with him how big Kendall was. Slowly he started stroking him, trying to match what Kendall was doing to him. Kendall definitely knew what he was doing, touching Logan just right. He sped up some when he felt how close he was, hoping to not leave Kendall hanging when he climaxed.
"Fuck, Logie," Kendall murmured before pressing his lips back to his. The kiss was deep and soft and Logan ate it up, craving the closeness Kendall provided him with.
Logan only managed to hold out a little longer, the feeling of Kendall over him, close and warm and touching him was too much. He gasped into Kendall's mouth when he spilled, his free head moving up into Kendall's hair to keep him close. To his surprise Kendall came only a few moments later, moaning Logan's name and cursing quietly.
Kendall sank down next to Logan and after wiping his hand on his boxers, pulled him into his arms. Logan smiled to himself and gladly laid his cheek over Kendall's heart, his breath slowing as he listened to the steady thumping. Soft lips pressed to his forehead and Logan's chest warmed when Kendall kept kissing along his face until he looked up. Kendall cupped his cheek and nuzzled his nose before brushing his lips to Logan's sweetly. "Hey, Logie," He whispered when he pulled away, resting their foreheads together.
"Hey," Logan answered, pressing his body close to Kendall's.
"You okay?" He asked, his lips almost brushing Logan's when he spoke.
Logan kissed Kendall in favour of answering him, longing for more of the intimacy Kendall offered him so freely.
Kendall smiled when he pulled away. "Good," He told Logan. "Me too."
For the longest time Logan lay in Kendall's arms and neither of them spoke, which he preferred. Logan feared that if he used his voice Kendall would hear the thickness in his throat and notice the tears that threatened to spill. The closeness Kendall provided and his obvious appreciation of Logan meant everything to him. With Kendall Logan actually felt good after doing something sexual. He didn't regret a single moment of it, because the act only brought him closer to the person he so desperately wanted to be near forever.
Logan had always felt ashamed of his time with Julian, for being so gullible and easy to manipulate. He had been so eager to have a relationship like all his friends had, to not be left behind, to for once not be the least experienced, innocent member of their group. Now Logan knew that had been the wrong motivation to enter into a relationship, it made him blind to the horrible stuff Julian pushed him into.
But it wasn't until that moment, when he felt safe and warm in Kendall's arms, with his steady heartbeat under his cheek and velvet lips pressed to his head, that Logan knew how deeply the pain ran.
His eyes burned and he curled into Kendall's body further, whose only reaction was to hum and tighten his hold on Logan. For sixteen years Kendall had shown him repeatedly that he was always right there. He fought off the bullies, he introduced Logan to new friends, he made sure Logan stopped studying and had fun once in a while and when Logan needed him most, Kendall always came through.
"I like you a lot," Kendall whispered into his hair, as if he felt Logan needed to hear it.
"I like you a lot too," Logan replied, sliding his hand into Kendall's.
"If we find an opportunity to go out later this week, will you come with me?"
"Yes," Logan told him, desperate for a chance to be alone with Kendall, to have this for more than an hour at a time.
"Do you still own a telescope?"
Logan looked up at Kendall when he picked up on the suggestion. "I do."
"You want to see if we can find a proper spot somewhere to go stargazing?"
"You've never wanted to come with me before," Logan commented quietly.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"I don't want you to pretend to like stuff to do me a favour."
Kendall stared in his eyes for a moment and for the first time, maybe ever, Logan saw a hint of embarrassment on his face. "The reason I didn't want to come with you before has nothing to do with my interest in stars," He said quietly, running a hand along Logan's face.
"Oh," Logan answered. "Then why?"
"Stargazing is inherently a very romantic activity," Kendall started hesitantly. "The last time you asked me I already had feelings for you. I didn't want to put myself in that situation with you."
"But the last time I asked you was at least six months ago," Logan whispered as it dawned on him why Kendall was reluctant to admit this.
"Yes," Kendall said softly.
Logan leaned in to kiss him, incapable of coming up with a better way of showing how much that meant to him. Kendall went with it gladly, sliding his hand to the back of Logan's head to keep him close. They kissed until Kendall pulled away, his eyes still closed as he rested his forehead to Logan's again.
If Logan had to pick a moment to freeze time forever, this would be it.
"I like you a lot," Logan whispered, clinging to the warmth that filled his chest when Kendall was vulnerable and opened up to him. He wanted Kendall to know that even though he was completely dense about feelings and he didn't realise how amazing Kendall was until a couple of weeks ago, Logan was falling for him so much harder than he ever thought possible. Those were words Logan wasn't able to express, so he settled for their usual term of endearment.
Kendall's lips spread slightly and he opened his eyes to meet Logan's again, running gentle fingers along Logan's neck. "I like you more."
Logan felt his cheeks flush and stared into the soft green eyes he never wanted to look away from. They were pressed together and Logan revelled in the heat from Kendall's body, sliding his arm around Kendall's waist to keep close. His skin was clammy from their earlier activities, but Logan didn't care one bit. All it did was remind him of how wonderful and attentive Kendall was.
"Do you want to go?" Kendall asked him, brushing soft lips to his cheek.
"Yes."
"Good," Kendall answered. "Because I would love a night with you on a blanket under the stars. You'll need to teach me a bit though."
Logan stared at him, his best friend in the whole world who held him close and kissed him sweetly and was so afraid to admit how long he'd wanted to go out with Logan and just asked him to teach him about stars. No one ever asked him to teach them anything, not unless they were in dire need for someone to do their homework. Kendall was more than Logan ever dared to hope for.
Kendall nuzzled their noses together before bringing Logan's head to the crook of his neck and pulling the blanket up. Logan closed his eyes tight and bit down hard on his lip to keep it from trembling. This right here, lying in Kendall's embrace, with his hands on his back and his lips pressed to his hair, after spending an entire night just being close... It was everything.
"Go to sleep, Logie," Kendall whispered. "It's almost 2 AM."
"Will you stay?"
"Always."