Clad in her mystic battle attire, Xuanzang stood poised in the hallway. A few meters before her was one of Chaldea's emergency lockdown doors which served to isolate hallways and sectors from potential threats. Painted pure white with reinforcing struts and rivets, the new defense no longer resembled its dull, grey predecessor. It stood ready before the servant, but she did not return its looming gaze.
With steady breaths, mana and od were molded into a perfect balance. Still, she channeled that energy further, building it up for the task at hand. Her mind was perfect serenity that mirrored in her expression, yet the roaring power swelled beneath her calm exterior. One foot swung back and she opened the corresponding palm, allowing it to surge with a blue, heatless flame. It roared to life as the caster opened her eyes and dashed forward.
The palm slammed the reinforced door like a runaway ship, but it stood unwavering. Lights flickered briefly, the corridor shook, and a nearby servant let out an excited laugh, but the door did not budge; There was not even a scratch or indent in the reinforced steel where her attack landed. With eyes filled with astonishment and glee, Xuanzang turned around to her other two companions and clapped her hands lightly but eagerly. "Wow! It held!"
Edison, still proudly laughing with arms akimbo on his custom-fit, blue formal suit, puffed his chest even bigger. "See? Even without Madam Blavatsky's reinforcing magecraft, my new improvements to Chaldea's structural integrity can withstand a war! When combined, there shall be no fear!"
"Impressive, Edison," Babbage admitted through hissing steam as he approached the door. Xuanzang took a few steps back as the armored caster materialized his weapon. She looked nervously to Edison, but the man's smirk could have rivaled Chaldea's conceited kings. Accompanied by the groan of moving armor, Babbage slashed at the door. The hallway shook lightly as the metallic impact reverberated through the hall like a gong; The door held without a scratch. "Very impressive."
"Thank you for the compliments, and for proving my statements!" Edison stated happily. "The others only wished to our combined reinforcement, but I-"
"Wanted some bragging rights to use against Tesla," the armored figure chuckled as it turned to face the fellow inventor. Edison's smirk only grew.
However, Xuanzang wasn't paying much attention to them anymore. Instead, she was quietly eyeing Babbage with curiosity. It wasn't often she got to look at the armored caster who was far more elusive than even some berserkers; He loved working tirelessly in the Robotics Facility and didn't wish to leave to eat anything. Babbage turned towards the unusually quiet Xuanzang, making her blush lightly upon being caught staring. "Is something the matter, Xuanzang?"
She quickly shook her head. "No! Sorry, I was just curious. There's so many interesting servants in Chaldea! Ones with dragon wings… Fluffy ears and a tail! Furry like Edison! Your steamy armor is another! It always makes me wonder what other curious servants could arrive!"
Edison chuckled. "You're interesting yourself, Xuanzang! I'd have thought the founder of the Faxiang Buddhist sect would follow the Noble Eightfold Path far more appropriately!"
Babbage nodded with certainty. "Your close quarters fighting style, like ours, is also strange among cas…"
The armored inventor trailed off as both he and Edison turned to each other in confusion. Xuanzang was now visibly shaking in the hallway with a look of shame and realization she could not keep from her eyes. Edison was right. She was having so much fun in Chaldea that she had been straying even further from the way of the Noble Eightfold Path. It was already bad enough before in her other summonings, but here she had fallen into blind temptation!
"Ahhh…!" she cried weakly, making Edison approach her with sudden concern and embarrassment. "AHHHHH! Buddha, forgive me! Tota's right! I'm so foolish!"
The caster bolted away from the armored door before Edison could say even one word of reassurance. Standing awkwardly in the hallway, he turned to Babbage slowly as his friend let out a hiss of steam; It sounded like a sigh of exasperation. "Relax, Edison. You couldn't have known."
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Fragment 57: Following the Path
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Xuanzang had retreated to her room for respite from the morning's startling revelation. Denial had filled her every fiber, though she knew Edison was right. Whether he meant it in lighthearted banter or not, she had strayed much further from the path than she wanted to acknowledge… so she didn't. She came here to lie to herself that all was right, and she had not gotten any worse than she admittedly had been during singularities.
Instead of reprieve, her refusal to accept the possibility was quickly dashed by growing fault. She leaned against her newly shut door, but had yet to turn on the light. Shaking with embarrassment, shame, and guilt, she kept one hand on her mouth as the other wobbled towards the light switch. Even before it flicked on, she knew it was going to be difficult to ignore what she knew was true; There was no denying her room.
The lights flared on, making her rather ordinary room an irrefutable example of how far she was astray.
Her eyes started at one corner where her bed sat. Chaldea's regular linens were coupled with a red blanket that had countless adorable cartoon chimpanzees and bananas across it. There was an oak bookshelf with drawers beside it that held several picture frames, a few favorite craft coins, and souvenirs from many singularities. Her favorite stuffed teddy bear with a red bowtie, a gift from Gabrielle and Mashu, sat on the lowest shelf near the bed. Assorted favorite items filled the drawers, and picturing them was more fertilizer for her growing despair.
A white kotatsu and several pillows took up a good part of the remaining space. She had found the curious furniture to be very comfortable and great for entertaining an occasional visitor. There were several more pillows stacked against the wall with a few stuffed elephants she got when chaperoning Jack and Nursery Rhyme during one supply sortie. She didn't even need to open the nearby closet to imagine the many wardrobes and accessories she had found wonderful to wear.
"I am… I really am…" Xuanzang mumbled with a quivering lip as she collapsed to her knees. She looked around the room again, despairing at how blatantly obvious she failed at just one of her own teachings. When on the path to enlightenment, it was best one relinquished all unessential material goods… yet look at all of this!
Her senses screamed in attempted denial, but there was no mistaking her fault. Since coming to Chaldea, she had been trying so much and enjoying herself, but no one ever said a thing. Tota may have a few times since they've gotten their memorial essences from the sixth singularity, but she admittedly didn't take it that seriously. Why had Edison's words been such a blunt strike now? Why hadn't anyone ever-
No! She can't blame anyone else for her folly! With renewed vigor, and a growing anger at herself for allowing this to happen, she quickly crawled over to her bed and reached for the blanket. She figured the bed could stay since it would just inconvenience others to take it out of the room. The blanket was different, though… But on second thought, the blanket was apparently a hard bargain Marie and her staff happened upon and-
…Was she justifying keeping these luxuries!? Oh no, it was worse than she feared! She's allowed her own material desires to take deep root! She scrambled across the floor and reached for the many pillows and cute plushies that had no survival value… but she couldn't bring herself to part with those either.
Xuanzang whimpered as she looked at her bookshelf's lower drawers. She crawled over and slowly opened the top one, revealing the many items within. There were a few trinkets from singularities and some gifts from her friends. She gently picked up a jewelry box filled with necklaces and earrings Mata Hari had gifted her. The caster often wore these for more formal occasions but… "I'm such a bad monk!"
Upset at how far she'd fallen, Xuanzang, with the glimmer of tears in the corner of her eyes, closed the drawer and opened the bottom one. She grabbed a box of writing utensils and one of the countless scrolls that filled the interior. After shutting the container, she crawled back over to the kotatsu and placed the items on top. To further her shame, she comfortably buried her legs under the furniture's warm blanket before removing the scroll's band.
She plucked a fancy feather pen, a gift from Helena, out of the box and wrote her observations. Usually her journal entries onto her scrolls would be done at night, but she needed to make an exception today; She could finish the entry later. There was no doubt in her mind this was her fault, for she could blame no one else for this catastrophe.
However, despite how frustrated and angry she was at herself, she was hopeful. Just because she was now this bad at one of the facets didn't mean she was doing just as poorly in other regards. Her smile was slowly returning as her hopes grew. True, she had to correct her livelihood, but perhaps she could make it up with perfection on the others! Yes, that would do it! Xuanzang still had a chance to find her way again, and she would start immediately!
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Bird automata chirped in the branches overhead. Sunbeams peered through the forest canopy onto the grassy patch below. In the center of this small clearing beside the walking path to the springs, Xuanzang sat with eyes closed and perfect posture. Her legs were crossed and her hands rested atop the knees in a traditional vajra position. She was a statue of definitive calm, even as her subdued emotions roiled deep beneath the surface.
Her first step was to meditate and possibly find guidance from Buddha. The spiritual guidance had always helped her in troubled times, and now was no different. Though she was meeting with Anishka to understand the future master personally, Xuanzang had plenty of time to spend in silent contemplation. Unfortunately, that time was spent with growing concern since her effort had not been rewarded thus far.
Silent desperation edged on impatience, but she held them at bay. She needed to find her inner peace and hope to hear the guiding advice of Buddha, but there was still nothing. Had she wandered that far that she needed to find her own way again? She couldn't even hear herself anymore. It was nerve racking and disheartening, but she was still determined. She had prevailed through much more difficult challenges on her famous journey, so she would persevere as long as she had to.
Though she was stressed, Xuanzang took comfort in her favorite meditative position. It was like an anchor for her usually wild behavior. Countless times it served as her perfect escape to calm the raging seas of her emotions. Even if she would not hear the voice this time, it reset her attitude to a proper course. As time passed amid a comfortable breeze and happy chirps, Xuanzang remained seated on that spiritual island as her grievances settled like falling leaves.
Minutes passed before she heard approaching footsteps. Many had passed her but none ever interrupted her meditation. Conversations fell hushed and footsteps became considerately slower, but they never did break her resolute focus. She was only mildly aware of this individual because the sound of the rustling dirt path was replaced with soft steps upon grass; It was barely audible, so the person was trying to be very respectful. Allowing herself to lift the meditative trance for a brief moment, she sensed the person's signature and detected a rather capable and familiar mage.
"Hello, Anishka," Xuanzang greeted, though her voice was far more level than most were used to; This was how she was when meditating. As she opened her eyes to smile at the master-in-training, she observed her tentative expression and smiled. "Please… Come sit with me."
"I apologize if I interrupted your meditation," she offered as she closed the final few meters to the grassy patch. It had become far more common to see the dutiful Anishka in casual clothes given her future station. Her jeans were clean and tidy, and they were coupled with a conservative white blouse. She carefully placed her sandals in front of her before sitting down into an identical position.
Xuanzang giggled. "Right! You're familiar with vajra position too because of your religion! If I remember right… Indian Buddhists and Hindus call it half lotus?"
Anishka nodded her head with a small smile. "It's very comfortable. I think I spent a quarter of my childhood like this."
"Ever the devout Hindu that Arjuna says," Xuanzang grinned happily. A toucan flew by, catching her easily snared attention for a brief glimpse. It was enough for her to miss Anishka's subtle wince from talking about the archer. Turning back with her grin, happy that she was being temporarily distracted from her own problem, she chuckled, "It's refreshing to finally have a master that's religious, even if it's a different one! Oh! But I'm most excited because of your heritage, though you knew that already!"
"Thank you, Xuanzang. I look forward to learning more about you as well."
In truth, she had approached the Hindu group a few times to talk with them. It never got personal, and it was just happy go lucky small talk from the ever-enthusiastic caster. She had incredibly fond recollections of her time in India, which more than made up for the crazy journey to get there. The vibrant people and culture colored her favorite memories, so she was more than compelled to at least be cordial with Chaldea's handful of Indian employees; The same went for the servants.
However, she was secretly pleased she finally had a proper excuse to learn about Anishka. All she was aware of was that the former Leyshift employee came from a long line of distinguished Indian mages. She was Chaldea's most capable magus, but that was only a relative description considering the circumstances. The often too respectful magus was also humble to a tee and barely spoke about herself; Rama often complained about how he had to pry information out of her at first.
Hopefully that wouldn't be the case now that she needed to bond with others to gain their trust. Xuanzang hummed, "We have plenty of time before lunch, so let's start off with some small talk! How's the training with Rama going?"
Xuanzang giggled as Anishka paled. "…Shri Rama is… very demanding. He believes I'm meant for greatness."
"But isn't that wonderful to receive praise from one of your gods? I'd be ecstatic if Buddha patted me on the head!"
Anishka blinked, but soon giggled at the excited caster's comment. "Yes, it is a great compliment. I shouldn't question his belief, but I'm often very sore after his outdoor training and show little results. He wants me to be capable of defending myself but… it's, um… difficult."
Yes, she knew exactly why, but she couldn't blame Rama for caring about her safety. It was indisputable that Anishka, out of all remaining Chaldean mages, was the greatest. However, her family's magecraft was focused on altruistic healing and dedicated to the wellbeing of others. She was the most capable, but she was a firm pacifist who was incapable of defending herself against another person. Granted, that would suit her fine as a master since the idea of a magus fighting with servants involved was almost always a very, very bad decision…
To her growing enthusiasm, it sounded like Anishka needed some guidance beyond Rama's own. Xuanzang smiled, knowing happily she was more than capable of doing just that. How many had she taught after she returned to China? Even if she was rather clumsy and foolish at times, when it came to giving proper advice, she was capable! It could be a nostalgic and educational experience that they could bond over too!
Xuanzang cleared her throat and smiled gently. "Anishka. It is clear you are troubled about questioning one of your gods, but it is something you must grow used to. Questioning them in the manner you do does not show disrespect, but inquisitiveness and confusion. It is not wrong to seek clarity or feel lost when being guided. However, I am worried about what may come of this."
"What do you mean?"
"As a future master of Chaldea, this is just one of the problems someone as devoutly respectful and religious as you must learn to balance. Your reverence is heartwarming and a beautiful sight, but the day will come when you must stand on the field as their equal."
Understandably, the master-in-training looked uncertain about that. Truthfully, Xuanzang's advice was also bothering herself. To question Buddha's wisdom was something she would never openly do, but if she had been a Master and he a servant, would she have taken her own advice? It was a difficult situation, but there could be no room for hesitation and delays on the battlefield. This was definitely something Anishka needed to acknowledge sooner rather than later.
Xuanzang giggled, visibly shaking Anishka from her solemn thoughts. The caster reached out and soothingly rubbed the poor girl's shoulder. The master-to-be had a lot to confront with herself, but this was something she knew Anishka quietly wanted. Her secret jealousy of watching the masters helping her childhood heroes would no longer be suppressed feelings, but reality. Reading the atmosphere, it felt like it was best to leave it at that for her to ponder rather than force a lecture.
"Sorry! I wanted to give advice, but I didn't want to trouble you further! You can think about it later, so how about we have some girl talk or something!" Xuanzang gladly offered.
"…Alright. Thank you, Xuanzang." With relief, Anishka smiled and reached to her small purse. She pulled out a small ba- Xuanzang's eyes sparkled with delight upon seeing the small bag of candy treats. Anishka smiled brighter and offered it to her. "Gabby told me you liked M&Ms, so I thought we should eat a few. It could tie us since lunch is a few hours away."
"Oh! I'm liking you more and more~!" Xuanzang sang as she eagerly reached out to the laughing Anishka. She could already taste the delicious chocolate bites melting in her mou-
With a delighted caw, one of the colorful birds swooped down to Anishka's outstretched hand. A rainbow of colored feathers dove past as it snagged the clear plastic bag in its talons and flew into the branches above. Anishka gasped, but it was not louder than Xuanzang's whimper. She quickly stood up in dismay and looked into some of the lowest hanging branches. Just out of reach, a rainbow lorikeet was happily eyeing its newfound prize.
"Oh no! It must have mistaken them for seeds!" Anishka attempted to explain as she stared at the offending automaton.
Xuanzang pouted at the bird and raised her voice. "Hey! Give that… back…"
Anishka looked towards Xuanzang as her voice trailed off and her mouth fell open. There was no denying it: That was a rare sign from Buddha! That was Buddha saying that he disapproves of her decision! There was no mistaking how he let the bird's action visualize his words! Now quivering, Xuanzang collapsed to her knees and covered her mouth with her hands. The realization was painful, but Buddha had shown her just how vigilant she needed to be, for she had fallen so far from the path.
"Xuanzang! It's okay, I have another bag! We can share it!" Anishka attempted to comfort. Before Xuanzang could cry out that she couldn't accept it, there were a few caws from the canopy. The small bag fell and bounced unceremoniously off of Xuanzang's cap. As she pulled her hands from her mouth, the candy landed perfectly in her hands, making Anishka and her blink. Xuanzang stared at the bag with a raised eyebrow while Anishka giggled.
…Buddha was sending very mixed signals.
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Throughout the afternoon, Xuanzang, led by her newfound resolve to return to the proper way, had been wandering around Chaldea in hopes of lending assistance. Arash was most well-known for doing so, but it was a small hobby of hers that she found comfort in. It was a pursuit that resonated with the Noble Eightfold path, and gave her a sense of relief that she still retained some proper footing. Unfortunately, as hard as she tried to search, it didn't seem anyone needed assistance today.
Her search had ended in Salon de Marie, where she found herself approaching a disgruntled looking Okita.
She was wrapped in a plethora of warm quilt blankets of various colors as she sat at a couch before the massive windows. The snowfall was light today, and the clouds would have appeared thinner if not for the silent and unnerving special abyss beyond. A few cute Chibi Nobus scampered at her feet, sorting other paperwork to make her life easier. With two bare arms popped out to hold one of the many papers before her, she barely passed a glance towards the approaching caster. Xuanzang took no offense, since she was aware of how many incidents had happened in the past week.
It was with that in mind she chanced to ask. "Okita? I understand I'm not a Peacekeeper, but is there anything I could do to help in some way?"
Okita glanced towards Xuanzang before passing a curious eye over her battle attire. She sighed and shook her head with a weak smile, "Thanks for the offer, but this is something I need to handle. I just didn't want to do it in that office… I gave my lieutenants the day off, but I'd trouble them first if I did…"
Slightly deflated but understanding, Xuanzang nodded to the saber before walking towards the salon doors. She passed a brief wave to Marie's little group as they enjoyed some snacks and played a game together in one of the booths. She could feel their curious eyes on her back, though it was understandable; Wearing her sage-like but revealing combat attire while dragging her feet around without a smile was a strange sight. She couldn't even remember the last time she had been so down.
A robot waited patiently to enter the Salon and clean while she shuffled out of the room. Upon hearing cheerful laughter from the Camelot room, she realized she hadn't tried there yet. The knights never required help though, so the chance was fleeting. Still, her legs unconsciously pushed her towards the door with silent hope. She peered inside to see there were only two occupants, and there didn't appear to be anything they needed help with.
"Good Afternoon, Lady Xuanzang," Bedivere greeted from within the room, seated at one of the many ornate wooden chairs at the Round Table. His cheerful smile was infectious, and she could feel the sides of her lips tug upward. His expression matched his bright cyan polo and glinted like his silver arm.
Beside him, Tristan, in his own red variation, also waved with a barely discernible smile. "Hmm… Our deployment is tomorrow, is it not, Xuanzang? Were you sparring with Beowulf, Li, or Martha, mayhaps?"
They were the only ones who ever managed to drag her out for a sparring match, but that was not the case; She just didn't want to wear clothes that reminded her of her problem. Xuanzang shook her head, "I just felt like changing things up, that's all."
Though they smiled, almost immediately she regretted her decision. Her lack of mindfulness caused her to tell a lie, and that was unacceptable. Whether a little white lie or not, she knew she would come to regret that later in her own brooding thoughts. Hiding her displeasure in front of the two knights, she smiled back and thought quickly to change the subject. She noted the magazine they were sharing and fell curious. "…A travel magazine? Like the ones Saint George loves to read?"
Bedivere nodded as he turned the magazine around to show her. Though the cover showed majestic fjords of an unknown country, the two-page spread depicted a boat sailing among towering walls of ice. She could see the people aboard the steel ship, providing scale to imposing walls that made them look like ants. She felt her inner wanderlust igniting upon seeing such a sight, and Bedivere's smile lit up as if he saw it.
"Sadly, most of us knights never got to see much besides our isle," Tristan explained as his closed eyes glanced towards the magazine. "I was envious Bedivere was able to see much more when he accompanied our king to Rome… alongside his other wanderings over those many sad years…"
"We're planning a trip as a kingdom to the United Kingdom and one other place. We've seen a few things thanks to leyshifting, but it's different to truly experience a destination without any other concerns. I want us to experience a new part of the world peacefully together," Bedivere added as he flipped the magazine back around. He didn't seem perturbed in the least Tristan brought up some potentially painful memories. "We'd have to convince a master to come with us though, but our belief is that Mashu can convince Gudao very easily."
Both knights chuckled as Xuanzang smiled. Bedivere's sparkling enthusiasm for travel was amusing even after the hell he had been through. Coupled with Tristan's calm presence, it served as a wonderful reminder of who the Knights of the Round truly were. The ones under the Lion King were far more rigid and focused on their objective, and that copy of her had been curious of their secret natures. She was glad she got to witness it here, though that memorial essence did offer painful sights to shake.
In particular was the last moments involving Sir Mordred. Her pained screams and suffocating fear she felt as she made her death rather painful was… something best left forgotten. Xuanzang recalled she had accidentally voiced her displeasure to the Chaldean Mordred after receiving the memorial essence and quickly regretted it. Has her lack of mindful speech been that laxed since months ago?
It offended and disheartened her even further. For months she had apparently gone through countless indulgences and strayed from the guiding light. Xuanzang, one of the fabled founders of Buddhist sects and teachings, was doing a poor job of following her own guidance. It was painful to acknowledge, but no matter how hard she tried today, she couldn't shake the overwhelming thoughts of her failure. Would they hamper her focus during tomorrow's supply sortie too?
No. She wouldn't let that happen. She was focused and resolved to fix herself properly so Buddha would smile upon her again. Before she ventured into the world again, she needed to reaffirm her own path. Then maybe she would allow her heart to indulge once more in the wanderlust that had been reinvigorated thanks to that one picture.
Xuanzang was resolved to back out of the deployment, but she needed someone to switch with.
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"Let's call it a deal then~!"
"Thank you, Da Vinci! Thank you, thank you!" That had been a speedy solution; Now she was free for the next day to help reset herself properly. Thankfully this search was quick, and proved to be significantly more fruitful than searching for others to help.
"You're welcome, Xuanzang! I've been meaning to find an excuse. It gives me an opportunity to do some shopping for myself and a dear employee of mine~! That item has been on that boy's wish list for a bit too long," the inventor hummed as she took a sip from her tropical drink.
The pair sat together on two beach loungers beneath a shady palm. Between them sat a small table that held a plate full of appetizers from today's spontaneous barbeque buffet. Without a cloud in the sky, the temperature felt a touch warmer; It was warm enough for the strangely temperature sensitive Xuanzang to hop from shade to shade like a desert hare. Thankfully, the sand under the tree held a pleasant warmth her feet enjoyed as she talked with the other female caster.
She found Da Vinci enjoying one of her uncommon breaks. She had her legs crossed since she wore a cerulean sun dress with a rather short hem. Sunglasses in matching color sat in her hair and reflected occasional glimpses of the summer scene playing before them like a mirror. Her orange tropical drink, complete with umbrella and lime, was being lightly swirled in one hand as she watched the others at play.
Xuanzang couldn't help looking either as she subconsciously grabbed an appetizer to eat; The group seemed to be having a lot of fun. It was unusual to see Roman in such casual clothes, especially just a pair of white swim trunks, but it was also wonderful. The usually busy acting director was running away from Jack. The assassin's white bikini frills fluttered like sails as she chased down her prey while the other potential targets watched from a safe distance. Jack beamed, "I'm going to get you! You can't escape Jackie the Ripper!"
"That sounded way scarier than it should have!" a laughing Roman responded as Jack's attention was quickly snared. Her peripherals had caught the suddenly still Arash, who stood hunched with hands on his knees grinning at her. The archer in black swim trunks enquiringly reached out to the assassin with one hand. Xuanzang found herself tilting her head curiously, but smiled when Jack skipped over and lightly tapped Arash's hand.
"You're it~!" Jack chimed as she playfully ran off; There were no tag backs from what Xuanzang recalled. With a devious grin, the archer turned towards a blur of a nearby assassin. A running Mata Hari shrieked with laughter as she tried to run for the waves and escape the approaching Arash. The orange bikini clad assassin wasn't fast enough, and the archer quickly reached out and glided his fingers gently across her exposed side.
He grinned as she flushed and pouted. "Sorry, Mari!"
"No you're not!" the assassin complained as another of Chaldea's child servants appeared at her side. The red bikini-wearing Kuro smirked at Mata Hari as she offered a friendly hand; It was nice to see so many kind offers! Mata Hari tapped her hand, and Kuro became a red blur shooting for the waves. Irisviel, Atalanta, and Illya, who were hiding among the surf, panicked and quickly began swimming away as the red archer homed in on them. Mata Hari giggled, "Thanks, Kuro~!"
Xuanzang smiled warmly and felt her envy rising. She really wanted to join them, but she needed to concentrate on her own task. There was nothing preventing her from enjoying such a fun activity, but she was firm about fixing her own newly perceived issues first. To be able to play with the children and other servants could be a reward after she had diminished her own form of suffering.
Her temptation to join grew as she watched a white-haired caster emerge from the water and shot towards Roman. The acting director gasped at her sudden speed and surprise, causing him to trip over as the black one-piece clad caster slammed into his back like a giggling cannonball. Roman scrambled to his feet and scanned for another target as Nursery Rhyme ran away. She joined her giggling sister who hid inside a rather large sand castle they constructed earlier. Their eyeballs barely peered over its massive ramparts and ornate towers.
With a light-hearted grumble, Roman pushed himself up as a servant casually approached him. He turned around and spotted a grinning David, who stood arms akimbo on his jade board shorts with complimenting emerald tropical shirt. "You need a hand there, Roman?"
As the archer stretched out his hand, the doctor sighed in relief. He leaned towards the archer to accept the offer happily. "Great! Thanks for being so-"
The green-haired man pulled his hand back as Roman tried to smack it, making the acting director loose balance and flop onto his face. He snickered, "Just kidding!"
Roman scrambled and dove for a taunting David but missed, making Xuanzang and Da Vinci laugh. She held her mirth in check so she could pop another delicious appetizer from Da Vinci's plate. Watching the children have so much fun with plenty of friends and family warmed her soul like the sand kissed her feet. It was a delicious scene, rivalled only by the small cheese bites on delicious garlic bread she had been enjoying unconsciously since she sat down to talk wit- Xuanzang paled and stopped chewing.
"You sure do love these appetizers~! I'll ask a robot for another plate!" Da Vinci stated happily as she waved towards a nearby robot.
Da Vinci didn't even notice the internal turmoil now raking at Xuanzang as she hesitantly swallowed. She had been indulging in such a wonderful scene to the point she had lost her own focus. She was conditioned into just grabbing morsels when she should only be getting what was needed to sustain herself! Was everything she did an affront to her teachings of Buddha!? No! She couldn't allow this to continue! She needed a distraction that could tear her away from her corrupted pa-
Jack was in her peripherals for a split second before she gently drummed her little fingers on Xuanzang's knee. The stunned caster was shaken from her thoughts by the giggling that echoed into her ears. "Tag! You're it!"
Her tagger skipped away as Da Vinci turned back. She snickered at Xuanzang's expression, "Well? Don't look so hurt you have to leave the horderves~! The jubilant caster I know would be out there by now!"
Da Vinci was right! If she was busy trying to play tag, she had no time to mess something else up! She could admonish herself later for her lack of focus, but for now she needed this distraction rather than save it as a reward. Xuanzang quickly leapt to her feet as Da Vinci chuckled. She scanned for the nearest target, but many were a good distance away. Arash was approaching as if to playfully taunt her, so she began walking towards him with a growing smile; Already her mood was shifting to excitement.
Arash bolted down the beach, making the athletic caster chase at full speed. Keeping herself from using any perceived supernatural agility, she could barely keep up with the archer. The sand was kicked up in sprays as she bolted after him with the children cheering her on. She grinned, pushing herself just a little further to try and close the gap. Her hand reached out as his back came into arm's rea-
"Not today, Xuanzang!" Arash laughed as he quickly dove to the side, throwing her gains to the wind. She pouted, but smiled as she continued the pursuit, racing along the section of sandy beach after her chosen target. Her focus was powerful and absolute when she wanted it to be, but she needed to be mindful and aware of it. Temptation was everywhere, and she knew herself well enough to understand practically anything could spark her curiosity and impulsive action. It applied to her livelihood as well as her current task, though she still kept falling for the baits.
As Arash dodged another one of her attempts, she pouted, "You're so slippery!"
"Dive for his feet!" Kuro advised from the distant waters. Arash dashed towards them, taking Xuanzang with him as she continued the pursuit. He zigzagged to throw her off, but she saw an opportunity! She dove, just as Arash made a wrong turn. With fingers reaching out, she could feel her success in her grasp; It was not to be. Arash got away by a hair's breadth and laughed as the caster flopped onto the sand face first. She whimpered, but heard giggling nearby.
Curious, Xuanzang looked up and stared at the two servants she had fallen in front of. Resting on a large, shared beach blanket were Jeanne and Joan, looking rather dazzling as they sunbathed. Jeanne's hair was loose, flowing like a golden waterfall behind her and onto their blue blanket with French flags plastered across it. They had similar bikinis, but Joan's was black while her sister's was navy. The two were propped up on their elbows and staring at her curiously, but she gazed back with admiration.
It had taken a long time, but Joan was no longer as insecure or concerned about how she was perceived; Finding her in public with Jeanne was now more common rather than an extremely rare possibility. They still bickered a lot of course, but that was usually the little sister's fault, and was typically half-hearted. It made her smile fondly to see them appreciating each other's company and even sharing a blanket together; Joan has come quite a way since she arrived.
"You're not giving up the chase, are you?" Jeanne asked playfully with a giggle.
With glittering eyes, Xuanzang grinned and acted upon her impulse. She scrambled towards the blanket, making the two's eyes widen in realization as she thrusted her arm out. She tapped Joan lightly on the foot, eliciting a gasp while Jeanne giggled. "You're it~!"
"Hey! I didn't want to play!" Joan shot out incredulously with a scowl, but it pierced Xuanzang like an artillery round. She hadn't asked if either wanted to join, but had acted upon her own fun impulse. By choosing that course of action, she had chosen to upset someone rather than being respectful and mindful. Oh Buddha, forgive her! She did it again! Everything she did was an example of how badly she was-
"What a lie! I was positive my little sister definitely wanted to play!" Jeanne teased with a happy smile. "I don't know why you still try and hide your feeling someti-"
Joan laughed deviously and smacked her sister on her bikini covered bottom, making her blush in pure disbelief and embarrassment. She pouted at Joan as she ran off with a sly smirk, "You were clearly tagged, Jeanne! Get running!"
"Oh you…!" Jeanne fumed playfully, but there was no forcefulness or animosity behind her voice; Only pride and glee. Her shimmering blue eyes turned to the still floundering Xuanzang. She stared back before the two began laughing. Xuanzang scuttled like a crab as she tried to right herself while Jeanne scrambled towards her. As fast as her thoughts of failure entered her mind, they had departed, leaving her a smiling mess once more… for now.
¨·..·¨·..·¨·..·¨(¯ˆ·.¸ VI ¸.·ˆ¯)¨·..·¨·..·¨·..·¨
Feeling extra deflated the next morning, Xuanzang sighed as she practically dragged her feet down the windowed hallway towards the library. She had refused to eat breakfast or change into anything aside from her battle attire since she felt so ashamed of herself. While there were many more failings last evening, the biggest offense was losing her self-control and stuffing herself with delicious food and desserts for dinner. It was partially why she was so diligent and focused this morning, but why was she feeling so dejected when following the path?
A battle clad Sasaki and Martha passed her, sending confused stares at the downcast caster. She didn't even wave to them as they passed by quietly on their way to the deployment room; Considering she only half trusted her own commentary, she was glad they didn't say anything. Releasing a tiny whimper, she continued shambling forward as a robot hovered by with a stack of new linens. She glanced at it, as the hovering machine eyed her back inquisitively.
With another unhappy sigh, she trudged forward. Her usually sparkling and shiny eyes were dim even as she glanced out the large windows. The flurries were extra beautiful this morning, but she felt no urge to stop and stare as she always loved to do. Her willful ignorance had placed her in this pit of suffering, and she desperately wanted to see the surface again. However, she needed to do it right, no matter how difficult it was.
After reaching the library on her way to her favorite meditation spot, she finally looked up. The caster was so lost in her own views and mental vigilance that she hadn't even noticed situation brewing before her. Before the doors of the library, Arjuna stood with arms at his sides in a traditional white and blue themed sherwani. His ivory pants matched Karna's in front of him, though the lancer had a black dress shirt and white vest instead. They stared at each other with unseen tension thicker than Chaldea's worst snowstorms. Neither glanced to her in the silent standoff.
Xuanzang stopped in the middle of the hallway and glanced to the two at opposite sides. Part of her wanted to intervene, but she was uncertain what was happening right now. Opening her mouth and voicing her assumption was improper, but she could feel the suffocating tension. However, who was right and who was wrong in this silent engagement? It was righteous of her to act and calm things down, but she needed to do it properly. It pained her to wait, and she wrung her fingers nervously as the balancing act dragged on.
The door to the library opened, but Xuanzang was the only one to glance. Hans, dressed in his own battle attire since he was on the roster, walked out and stopped. With dripping irritation, he rubbed his forehead and placed his other arm on his hip. "What's going on here?"
"I merely asked why Arjuna is being excessively coarse during his voluntary training with Anishka," Karna finally spoke, but there was no reaction from Arjuna. "I was awaiting his reply."
"Surely you would already know that answer," Arjuna replied flatly, but she could feel underlying annoyance. It slithered between his words, but it was hinted nowhere else in his even expression. "Anishka is going to be a master. She must understand that she cannot afford to be passive."
Hans clicked his tongue. "Then the usual script this month... Arjuna continues to pen his unusual mounting dissatisfaction for our third master."
Arjuna's eyes finally sharpened ever so slightly as they turned to Hans. "I am not the only one who finds faults that need correcting. She can be a capable master, but the flaws must be solved."
Hans glared back. "Whether I am upset with her potential issues in combat or not are irrelevant. I'm not the one helping Rama drive her into the ground with ceaseless training scenarios. However, I do not wish to sour my own mood over impermanent fixable issues. I have a sortie to join and new books to obtain."
Walking off without a proper farewell, Hans didn't even turn back as a battle-ready Siegfried appeared from spirit form. As his armored build came into full view, he stood beside Xuanzang and nodded towards the lancer, earning a small glint of annoyance from Arjuna. "Everything fine here, Karna? I trust your rivalry with Arjuna isn't heating up?"
"Nothing to give Okita more paperwork," Karna dared to joke, making the saber chuckle and Xuanzang crack a tiny smile.
Arjuna made no motion of displeasure, but merely turned back towards the library doors. "I will be off then. I have tasks to complete before I assist Rama once more."
"Do not let that discontentment fester, Arjuna," Karna added suddenly, making the archer halt completely. Xuanzang fell nervous, feeling the sudden surge of animosity from the archer, but she couldn't understand why. It felt like Chaldea's ventilation had ceased and allowed the biting cold to creep through the windows. Even Siegfried stared between them uneasily. "I am concerned about you."
"…I didn't ask for you to be," Arjuna responded quietly. She didn't understand why that exchange seemed so heated, but she didn't want to push. This was not her business, and it would potentially only anger the archer. Instead, she watched silently as Arjuna walked into the library and the doors gently closed. Siegfried exhaled as Karna walked over to them.
Strangely enough, he faced her and nodded. "You had words you wished to express, but you are troubled about doing so. That's quite unlike you, Xuanzang. Even your bright smile has been dampened and dimmed by the storm ravaging your purest heart."
There really was no way to hide anything from Karna. With a small frown, she nodded towards him as Siegfried glanced between them. She didn't care if the saber listened, so she merely offered a tiny smile to him before responding, "I'll be alright, Karna. I didn't think anything I said would have benefitted."
"Maybe you are right, but it wouldn't be the first time you alleviated tension with your enthusiastic disposition," Karna explained as he glanced to Siegfried and nodded. "I shall push no further, but I offer one last advice to your troubled mind: The raft isn't absolute… May you find what you seek."
Xuanzang stared at Karna as he smiled and walked away. Siegfried followed, but gave her one last glance and waved. "I hope your day gets better, Xuanzang."
She stood there, even as the two friends walked off. Karna smiled, "I pray I didn't pull you from anything important?"
Siegfried chuckled. "Just a fun spar with Brynhildr and Arthur. Would you like to join us?"
Even as they walked away, she stood still. Standing surprised in the center of the windowed hallway, the caster let those four words repeat in her mind like a looping record.
¨·..·¨·..·¨·..·¨(¯ˆ·.¸ VII ¸.·ˆ¯)¨·..·¨·..·¨·..·¨
After meditating in the forests of Fantasia Resort, Xuanzang had found herself back in Salon de Marie. Sitting in one of the many unoccupied booths in the time after lunch, she was slouched over the table with her head resting atop her folded arms. Her cap rested beside her, discarded just like her optimism. Marie and her staff had passed by often to ask if she needed anything, which she politely declined every time. Even now, she could feel their worried gazes and glimpses aimed her way, but it didn't bother her.
While she didn't smile, she wasn't as deflated as the previous hours. Her mind was overclocked and scrambling through the many possibilities after Karna's advice. It was a simple phrase, but she knew what he was inferring. It was an example often directed at others when talking about Buddhism since it was one of Buddha's famous parables. There were many ways to interpret it, but it confused her why Karna would bring up such a lesson.
The saying went that a man found himself on one side of the river amongst unfavorable conditions. Across the turbulent currents was a side that looked lively and welcoming. To make his way across, the man gathered sticks, branches, and grass to form a makeshift raft. Using his hands and feet, he paddled across the water until he reached the opposing banks. However, once on the other side, a question was born: Should the man carry the raft or leave it? This was a parable she had often used in her teachings, but her mind was hitching on any possibl-
"Wow... I haven't seen you this down since you were crying about getting both of our Jerusalem copies killed."
Her eyes shot up as Tota sat down at the other side of the booth. He sported a viridian muscle shirt that clung to his muscular form coupled with a sympathetic smile. Xuanzang sat up straight and folded her hands together on her lap as she smiled weakly to her dear friend and personally declared disciple. Though he did get occasionally irritated with her actions, she was lucky she found a companion so understanding and upbeat. They had plenty of fun times together to make up for some of her regrettably forward and pushy actions… yet more things to mar her path.
"What's got you so upset? I feel like the world is wrong if Xuanzang is actually depressed."
She glanced around nervously, but if there was anyone she could talk to openly, it was him. "... I've done a poor job following my own teachings and Buddha's word."
The archer blinked. "…Come again? What makes you say that?"
"What makes me not think that!?" she squeaked with growing panic, making several of Marie's staff turn to her from across the large room. Even Tota recoiled slightly in surprise as she whimpered. "I've been bathing in luxury! I drag people into trouble following my impulse! I say the wrong things because I don't think clearly! Xuanzang is supposed to be a wonderful teacher who sets an example, but what am I really!? I'm just failing in my own-Owww! Tota!"
She rubbed the spot on her bare head he had smacked with his hand. As she pouted at him, he merely smiled back with amusement. "…Is that honestly what you're upset about? That you believe you haven't been following Buddha's teachings to the letter?"
Furrowing her brows, Xuanzang glanced around again in confusion, making Tota laugh earnestly. She pouted again. "Tota! This is serious! I'm failing as a follower of Buddhism!"
"I guess that could be said, but only the Xuanzang Sanzang I know would be capable of forgetting her own teachings…" Tota poked with a small smirk. She scrunched her eyebrows further in confusion as he rolled his eyes. "From what it appears to me, you've only thrown yourself from your path these past two days. Sure you've indulged yourself, but it never brought you into the suffering spoken by the Four Noble Truths."
She opened her mouth to interject, but found she couldn't. He took the opportunity to continue. "Chinese Buddhism developed with Taoist influence, so it's not wrong to believe staying true to who you are is yet another way. The Noble Eightfold Path is the guiding wheel of dharma, but like Buddha suggested, one must not hold on too tightly to the teachings. One must follow their own way to find peace and be willing to let go of what is necessary... Isn't that what you teach?"
He reignited the thoughts of the raft parable. Buddha declared the raft would be left, and she had taught that it can be interpreted differently. Her own lectures stated it was a way of letting go of teachings once they have served their purpose, but never to forget how it helped on their journey to enlightenment. There were many ways to cross the river, so not everyone needed to follow it to the letter. Hadn't that Siddhartha book Helena showed her a depiction of that concept too? Though she was still a bit bothered by how unorthodox her personal way was, it was far from crippling her with despair.
The laughing Tota proclaimed, "From what I see, it's only Xuanzang jumping to a panic filled confusion after overthinking something someone said… Just you getting emotional and blindly flailing... again."
In an instant, she was sifting through her thoughts once more. Tota was right; She had been mistaking lots of things in her panic. Every action she took was always with good intentions, whether or not she was wrong. Every material item she kept was a warehouse of fond memories. Xuanzang could certainly be much more mindful and considerate than she had been, but how many smiles had she given others through her own speech and actions? She indulged in life, but there was an unusual form of moderation and moral conduct she always followed.
It was the conduct dictated to her by her own impulses, morals, thoughts, and intuition.
Xuanzang had been wrong, but she was not incorrect. Interpretation is what mattered, and following her pure soul and impulsive desires never placed her amongst ill intent. With every action and spoken word, she had always been following her own way to enlightenment; Why she had let such a simple statement fill her with hopeless dread and doubt was both embarrassing and confusing in hindsight. There was no doubt she was just as foolish and outrageous as Tota often jested.
With cascading relief that eased her muscles, Xuanzang knew her fear of straying had caused just that. Coupled with a bright flush, she pouted at the archer who smiled back at her warmly. "Feeling better?"
"…Thank you," she admitted quietly; The teacher could still learn every now and then.
Tota nodded and waved towards one of the distant salon staff. "Good! Then let's make sure it stays that way by getting you and I some celebratory chocolate sundaes! I'm feeling hungry!"
He laughed as her smile returned tenfold, paving the way for a pleasant but uneventful evening.
¨·..·¨·..·¨·..·¨(¯ˆ·.¸ VIII ¸.·ˆ¯)¨·..·¨·..·¨·..·¨
The next day had passed just as quickly with her renewed spirits.
Friday's afternoon had arrived after a busy morning of assisting the other casters with reinforcing Chaldea's defenses. Many had commented on her reignited happiness, and she personally felt sunnier than the past few months combined. With a permanent grin plastered on her face, she had come to the beach in order to enjoy some promised companionship on her renewed course; She was glad she didn't cancel their meeting.
The beach was lively with various groups, but their spot's air was mixed with concentration and disbelief.
Sitting on the same large white blanket, Xuanzang and Hundred Face sat across from each other. The caster had finally discarded her battle attire to wear her rather skimpy white bikini. Across from her, the assassin had a much more conservative blue one piece. Her confused glare was aimed at the board game before them that the assassin wished to teach Xuanzang; She loved playing colorful board games, but decided to give this new one a try with her friend.
Evidently, she was doing better than merely trying. "…How did you do that!?"
Xuanzang grinned and tilted her head. "I felt like it was right, so I moved the monk there!"
Hundred Face stared at the white 'monk,' which was actually the bishop piece. It was an instantaneous move after the Hassan completed her own, but it now rested in a prime position to lock down two of her key chess pieces at once from a safe gap in her pawns. The assassin looked perplexed as her eyes darted around the board incredulously. For any onlooker, it was clear Hundred Face was losing by a considerable margin. "You said you never played chess before!"
"I haven't, but I felt that was the right thing to do!" Xuanzang chipperly responded, making Hundred Face gawk in disbelief.
"It seems the generous wandering monk has you pinned, Hundred Face."
The blue-haired assassin looked up sourly to eye the newly arrived Cursed Arm with a green towel around his waist. He sat down casually on the blanket and placed a tray of assorted treats and drinks beside him. With his unbandaged arm, he began distributing the requested drinks to his companions. He laughed as Xuanzang eagerly grabbed her banana split and ice cold lemonade without any hesitation. Her grin grew wider, "Thank you!"
"You're welcome. It's great seeing you in high spirits again," Cursed Arm noted as he sipped from a clear cup filled with his favorite milkshake. Behind him, the armored thumps on soft sand of King Hassan heralded his approach; She figured Serenity, Rena, and Arash would arrive shortly. He stood over them like an ominous statue, tearing Xuanzang's gaze from the chess board to the usually silent former grand servant. Cursed Arm paid no heed and chuckled at the board instead, making Hundred Face pout since she was clearly trying to figure out a proper next move.
The Hassans had been very welcoming and friendly towards her during the sixth singularity; She returned the favor by helping their villages during her brief stays. She was really happy it still applied in Chaldea and grew stronger, but it didn't quite apply to the unusual Hassan she stared at. Her curiosity got the better of her, but she remained courteous and mindful; She was herself again, but she knew understood adjustments she needed to do.
"Isn't that armor a little hot?"
King Hassan turned slowly to Xuanzang, making Cursed Arm and Hundred Face a tad stiff. He stunned all of them. "It is neither hot nor cold, though one engineer proclaims it is cool."
Hundred Face snorted and laughed as Xuanzang giggled; Apparently King Hassan was unaware of modern slang. She only giggled more as the armored assassin raised his own milkshake, in a clear cup with swirly straw, to take a sip. He looked down as a smirking Hundred Face proudly moved a piece. "Check, Xuanza-"
In an instant, the caster had moved her queen to eat a pawn and block the offending Queen's attack. In the process, it put it in a great spot as she grinned. "I say check here right?"
Cursed Arm laughed at Hundred Face's dumbfounded expression. "Y-You! How do you always…!? Arrrrgh!"
"Thou must stay calm in battle lest the enemy exploit thy emotions," King Hassan advised, making Hundred Face shiver. The imposing statement and rough tone were completely ruined as he took another sip from his milkshake. While Hundred Face sputtered an apology, Xuanzang grinned happily.
She was able to hear Buddha flawlessly again, though more specifically, her inner voice. It was unobstructed and shined with clarity as it whispered and guided her. Wukong had been the one to point out the voice she always heard was her own self, and she had never forgotten that. Occasionally, she still held firm to the belief Buddha would guide her through the harsh times in various ways and signs, but she understood he guided, not directed. She was responsible for herself first and foremost on her own path to enlightenment, and others could only help another on their way.
It was embarrassing that she had allowed herself to get so clouded, but that was who she was. Xuanzang always followed her pure impulses and heart, whether to make things right or bring happiness. As a free soul, to deny that would cause that unfathomable panic and blindness she had felt recently. Any lingering disorder had been quelled and heart was placed at ease.
Everything felt right again. She would be more mindful and considerate, and do things with more moderation, but she knew better once more as she walked her path of enlightenment. Her instincts and impulses would show the way forward as they always had, since the path wasn't to happiness: Happiness was her path. The sun's radiance shined down upon them, rivaled only by the caster's grin and bright laughter.
Xuanzang felt Buddha smiling down at her.