Chapter 8

It was...positive. Jade was pregnant with Austin's baby. She had gotten pregnant by a guy she'd known for less than four months, and had only been living with for two weeks. While she did really like Austin, a lot, she didn't know if she'd want to be connected to him forever by a baby. And they were both so young. She was only 19 and he was barely 21. They still had their whole lives ahead of them. A baby would not fit into Jade's life plan. She didn't honestly know if she ever wanted a baby if it wasn't with Beck, but she definitely knew she didn't want to be a mom at 19. She couldn't do this.

After staring at the positive pregnancy for what felt like an eternity but was really only a few minutes, Jade wrapped it up in toilet paper and buried it in the trashcan. She took a couple deep breathes before washing her hand and going back out into the bedroom.

"Are you feeling better, babe?" Austin mumbled, half asleep.

"A little." She responded. Unlike Beck, Jade was a great liar.

Jade laid back down next to Austin, rolling over so she was facing away from. Austin gently kissed her tank-top clad shoulder before turning back over and catching some more sleep before he had to get up and get ready for work around 8:30.

As Jade laid in bed, she thought about what having a baby with Austin would be like. She was pretty sure he'd be a good dad, but that didn't matter to her. She didn't want a kid with Austin, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

The only person she had thought about having a kid was with Beck, and she'd already screwed the pooch on that one. She was pretty sure her only chance to have a kid with Beck was Weston, but he was all the way in Maine with people Jade assumed were great parents. While Weston was biologically theirs, he wasn't their baby in all ways that mattered. Jade and Beck didn't have a kid together, and they never would, and they'd probably never even be a couple again, and Jade needed to get that through her head.

Being unable to shut off her brain in order to sleep, Jade decided she was just going to brave through the nausea and go to set. She changed into a new outfit that consisted of leggings and a baggy t-shirt, and quickly got ready. She'd taken a shower the previous night, which she was silently thanking past her for doing. After she got ready, she grabbed her things, and headed to set, not bothering to say goodbye to Austin.

Jade made her way to set, stopping on the way for some coffee, but then proceeded to vomit in the Jetbrew bathroom at the smell of the coffee. She decided the coffee wasn't worth it, and left as quickly as possible, trying to get far, far away from the smell. She continued her way to set, and finally arrived, about 10 minutes early. When she got their, she realized she had parked right next to Beck's car, who was sitting alone, staring at his phone. Not wanting to attract his attention, Jade got out of her car and made her way inside the actual studio. As soon as she got their, she was told to go to hair and makeup, just like the previous day.

"Wow, Jade. You look like death warmed over on your face." Tori said, a bit harsher than she usually would.

"Yeah, well I only look like this today. You look this all the time." Jade gave as a comeback, not really in the mood to be meaner it harsher than she had been.

Tori didn't give a comeback, and Jade decided Tori wasn't worth her time and limited energy. They remained silent to each other for the rest of Tori's session. The only noise other than radio was when Beck walked into the trailer. He sat down in the chair next to Jade as opposed to the one closer to Tori, which Jade found odd, but decided not to say anything about it. Tori was done first, leaving the trailer after she finished. The silence remained until Beck spoke up.

"You look kinda sick, Jade. Are you ok?" Beck asked.

"Yep, I'm fine." Jade wasn't going to tell Beck what was wrong because it wasn't any of his business.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Beck, I'm sure. Leave me alone." Jade was beginning to get defensive.

Beck stopped pushing her and the trailer went back to silence. Beck and Jade's hair and makeup was finished around the same time, so they walked to wardrobe together again. This time, Beck didn't make the mistake of leaving his phone were Jade could snoop. Once they were done, they walked to set together, both still not saying a word to each other.

They started rehearsing as soon as they got to set, leaving no room for Beck to press any longer. Luckily for everyone, the scenes between Beck and Jade were far less tense than the previous day. As the day dragged on, Jade begin to feel increasingly worse, rather better. She was getting some dull cramping in her lower abdomen, her nausea was getting worse, and she was starting to feel lightheaded. She didn't know what it meant or what to do about it, so she just worked through it, blowing off anyone is asked her if she was ok.

"Jade, are you sure you're ok? You look really pale and a little green." Beck asked, his voice full of concern.

"I'm fine, Beck. I wish people would stop asking that." Jade responded, a little slurred.

"Um, Jade, you're bleeding." Beck whispered, discreetly pointing to her pants.

"What?" She asked, looking where Beck was pointing. Not knowing what else to do, she quickly made her way to the nearest bathroom. Beck let one of the producers know what was going on and followed after her, wanting to find out if she was ok.

Once he got to the bathroom, he lightly knocked, and waited for a response. When he heard a small noise, he took as an positive affirmation that he could go in, so he slowly opened the door. He found Jade sitting on the toilet. He quickly glanced down at her pants and saw that they were covered in blood. He averted his eyes to give her privacy and looked at her face. She had unshed tears in her eyes and her face was still pale.

"Are you ok, Jade? Should I go get someone to help you?" Beck asked.

"I need you to take me to the hospital." Jade answered.

"Why? Isn't this just your period?" Beck was very confused.

"No. I'm pregnant, Beck. This is not just my period. I think it's a miscarriage. I need you to take me to the hospital or find someone who can." She explained.

"Ok, um, I'll take you to the hospital. Do you need anything to help stop the bleeding? A pad or a towel?"

"Just go tell one of the PAs to give you a couple maxi pads. I'll probably end up bleeding through them, with the amount that I've already bled, but it should at least soak up some of the blood so I can show the doctors. Also, get a towel for your car."

"Ok, what should I tell the director as a reason for us leaving?"

"Just tell him that I'm sick and that you're taking me home. Tell the PA to not tell the director what they're giving you."

"I'll be right back with your stuff. I'm sure everything will be ok."

Beck left to get the things for Jade after waiting for a response and not getting one. He quickly found a PA and requested the supplies. He told the PA to not tell anyone what she was getting or who it was for. He then found the producer and told him what Jade told him to say. The producer said it was ok, but that Beck needed to go back to set after he dropped Jade off. After his conversation with the producer, he found the PA and retrieved the items Jade had requested. He quickly made his way back to the bathroom, unaware that he was being watched by someone.

"Here's the things you asked for. The producer bought the story and I paid the PA 20 bucks to not tell anyone." Beck said, handing the items to Jade, who was still sitting on the toilet.

Beck turned around to give Jade some privacy, as she put on the pads and tried to clean herself up. Once Jade was done, she got up and flushed the toilet, and then washed her hands. After she dried her hands off, she stared at herself in the mirror and saw she had a big stain on the back of her pants and a small one on the front. She knew if she walked out of the bathroom like that people would stare and wonder what was going on. She looked around the small bathroom for something to cover herself with, but only found two things: the towel Beck had gotten for her and Beck's jacket. The towel would probably draw more attention than blood-stained pants, so Beck's jacket it was.

"Give me your jacket." Jade demanded.

Beck turned around and gave her a confused look. "Why?"

"Because I have a huge stain on my pants and I need something to cover it with." She said, as if it were obvious.

"Ok." Beck sighed, taking off his hoodie. He handed the black garment to Jade and she quickly tied it around her waist. She grabbed the towel and then ushered for Beck to leave the room so they could get going. He opened the door and held the door open for her. They quickly made their way out to Beck's car, trying to avoid anyone and everyone.

After making it to Beck's car, Jade laid the towel down on the front seat, and sat down, clutching her lower abdomen while she sat, realizing her stomach a lot more than she had originally thought. Beck got in the car and started it up. He started driving to the nearest hospital, periodically looking over at Jade, making sure she was ok.

"I know this is probably gonna probably gonna make me sound like an absolute douche, but I just have to know. Do you know who the father is?" Beck asked, as they were on their way to the hospital.

Jade sighed. She wasn't exactly mad at Beck for asking that question. She was more mad at herself for having to say the answer was not him. "My boyfriend is the father. He doesn't know that I'm pregnant, and I'd like it to stay that way, especially now that I'm pretty sure I'm not even pregnant anymore."

"I'm really sorry that this is happening to you, Jade." Beck gave, trying to sound sympathetic.

"I'm not. Austin and I are nowhere near even being ready to talk about having kids, let alone having them. We've been dating for less than 4 months. I like him, and he's a good guy, but he's not really someone I see myself having kids with. I don't even know if he wants kids, or if he ever wants to settle down and get married. He's only 21. I'm only 19. I wasn't ready to be a mom 9 months ago, and I'm still not ready now."

"Weston's ok, you know. I've seen him. Lori sends me pictures and videos of him every so often." Beck said, almost as if he read Jade's mind. He knew that she was thinking of Weston.

"I know I shouldn't, but I miss him. I didn't even know he existed until about an hour before he was born, and I never got to actually see him or hold him, yet I miss him. Part of me wishes we had kept him. Maybe if we had, we'd still be together, and I wouldn't be miscarrying another guy's baby."

"It's for the best, Jade. He's happy with Lori and Ethan. They seem like amazing parents to him."

"I know he's happy, and I'm sure Lori and Ethan are great parents, but that doesn't make the guilt that I feel go away. I feel guilty about giving my own child, our child, away. He was ours, Beck. Half you and half me and I didn't want him. I guess it's just a good thing that this miscarriage is happening. I'd be a horrible mother." Jade said, self-deprecatingly.

"Jade, the fact that you were able to recognize Weston's need for a better life and the fact that we couldn't give him what needed shows how great of a mother you were to him and how great of a mother you will be in the future."

Jade decided not to respond to Beck, and Beck decided not to press any further. The rest of the car ride to the hospital was spent in silence. They arrived at the hospital about 15 minutes after leaving the set. Beck and Jade walked into the ER together, and Beck sat down in the waiting room while Jade talked to the receptionist. Jade sat beside Beck once she'd finished talking to the receptionist. She was given a clipboard full of papers that she had to fill out. She was called back to been seen within 10 minutes.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Beck asked, as Jade stood up.

Jade thought for a moment and then nodded her head ever so slightly. Beck stood up and followed Jade who was following the nurse. Once in the room, Jade was instructed to change into the hospital gown. Beck turned around to give Jade privacy, but caught a quick glance of a new tattoo on Jade's shoulder. It was Roman numerals and it looked like a date. Beck quickly deciphered it in his head and realized it was Weston's birthday. Jade had a tattoo commemorating a baby whom she was not the mother of. While, yes, technically she was his mother biologically, she was not his mother in all the ways that really counted. Beck mulled this new information over in his head, but decided not to say anything about it. Once Jade had changed, Beck turned back around and sat down in the chair next to the bed. Jade laid in the hospital bed and stared off into space. She was only broken from her trance when the doctor walked into the room.

"Hello, Ms. West, my name is Dr. Sandra Collins. I'm the hospital's OB/GYN. According to the information sheet you filled out, you think you're having a miscarriage, correct?" The doctor said, as she walked into the room.

"Yep." Jade gave, not having the energy or the will to say much more.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

"Nope. I'm probably only about 4 weeks. I just took a test this morning and it came back positive."

"Ok. I want to take a blood sample, if that's alright with you."

Jade nodded in approval. The doctor gathered the proper materials and then quickly took Jade's blood. She stepped out of the room to hand the vial to the nurse to be taken to the lab, and then came right back.

"The test results should be back soon. What we are testing for is heightened levels of HCG in your blood stream. HCG is only produced when your pregnant."

"Ok."

"Have you had any pregnancy symptoms? Nausea, vomiting, missed period, tender breasts, light cramping, spotting?"

"My period was supposed to come a couple days ago. And I threw up this morning. Pregnancy really didn't even crossed my mind until I saw the box of pregnancy tests in my draw. I figured I just take it to make sure. I didn't expect it to be positive."

"Have you two been trying to get pregnant?" The doctor asked, referring to Jade and Beck.

"What? No. Beck are I aren't having sex. Beck's just a, um, friend. To answer your question, though, my boyfriend and I weren't trying to get pregnant. This was an accident."

"Oh, sorry. I just assumed that since he was here with you, you two were together. Would you like me to call your boyfriend?"

"No. He doesn't know that I even took the pregnancy test, let alone that I'm probably pregnant. I don't want to tell him."

"Ok, just let me know if there's anyone you would like me to call. I have to go see some other patients, but I will be back soon with your results." The doctor said, and then quickly left the room.