WARNING: GRAPHIC SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION, MISOGYNY, SLIGHT GORE, BLOOD, AND SELF ESTEEM ISSUES. IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE OR DO NOT ENJOY IT DO NOT READ.
Chapter Twelve.
Jacob's POV:
It was at night where I felt Jessica's absence the most. Bella had decided to stay with Carlisle and Esme for the remainder of their stay, and Edward and Renesmee had quickly followed. Again, it was just dad and I and our little house. Instead of rolling over and holding her small, warm body, I was met with cold sheets and frustrated tears.
How could I have messed up so royally? I had lost the only girl that gave a shit about me, gave a shit about my family and their wellbeing and I had no one to blame but myself.
And damn it hurt, the loss of hers was greater than losing Bella. It knocked me off my feet, made me feel numb with the pain of it. The only thing I had to look forward to now was practice with Carlisle's army, christened that by Quil due to his obsession with Harry Potter, and the planning for Sam and Emily's wedding. It was a small affair for the pack and Emily's family in Makah, but they wanted it to happen before the big battle so we pulled something out of our ass with no problem.
Carlisle's army was made of fifty different vampires, all random people that didn't fit together at all besides the fact that they cared about Carlisle. The Denali's, who were the only other animal drinkers, the Irish, the Amazon, and many more.
Surprisingly, I had become quite close to a vampire named Benjamin, who was basically the Avatar because he could control all the elements. After a horrible morning crying over a sock that Jessica had accidentally left, I worked hard in practice and settled down with the boy during break time.
"A sock, huh?" He pursed his lips in sympathy, orange eyes glancing up at me from where we sat. After meeting Carlisle, he and his mate had decided to follow suit and change their diet. It hadn't gone over well with his coven leader, though.
"I feel like a kid, crying over something so stupid."
He pats my back empathetically, and I'm surprised to notice that his coldness doesn't even phase me. "Love makes you do crazy, stupid things."
"That it does."
"Let me give you some good advice, my friend," Benjamin exclaims. "If you truly love her, you need to fight for her. Do everything in your power to show her that you appreciate her, no matter what. You and Miss Cullen are over and done with, and you've made that clear to her. Now you need to make that clear to Jessica."
Sighing, I ask, "You really think I can convince her?"
"It isn't about convincing," He says, opening his arms as his wife, Tia, settles into them. She sends a soft smile to me, and I return it. "It's about making her feel like she's the only woman on earth."
"Giving more love advice, habib?" She asks, pressing a kiss to his temple. My heart plummets into my stomach. Why can't that be me?
"I want everyone to be content in life, especially my dear friend Jacob." He pats my back again and I smile weakly. Even if Benjamin is a vampire, I'm glad I can call him a friend now.
Soon, our break time is over and it's back to practicing. I tire myself out enough to pass out when I get home, and when I crawl into bed the world around me disappears.
In my dreams, Jessica and I play on a sunny beach. Her eyes are like the waves that crash around us. When I wake up, my pillow is soaked with tears and I'm sobbing.
I have to get her back, I think to myself as I shut my alarm off, wiping my eyes roughly. No matter what.
Charlie finds out about vampires on a Monday.
As dad and I settle down to watch a movie together, Bella storms in with fury in my eyes. Without another word, Bella starts to yell. "You had no right to tell him, Billy! Do you know how much you've endangered him?"
"I should ask you the same about my son," Dad answers back, jaw tight. "He's only sixteen, he shouldn't have to deal with you ruining his life in this way."
Bella stays silent, folding her arms around herself like when she was human. The sight makes me want to close my eyes and hope she leaves quickly.
"He's going to die because of you. Because of your selfishness. And then your precious Edward will too."
The thought of Edward dying makes her hiss in anger. I stand up and push her back, making sure there is space between them. "Shut up! You know nothing."
But dad isn't finished, looking up at Bella and shaking his head in disdain."Hopefully, your daughter will make it out okay and be raised by Charlie, and turn out far better than her parents."
If she could cry, I know she would be. But I can't bring himself to care anymore. At one point, Bella had been everything to me. But now, she was just a distant memory.
Sometimes, I think about if the Cullen's had never returned if Bella hadn't run off to Italy. Would I have been enough for her? Would my love heal her like I always wished it would?
Without another word, Bella stalks off, slamming the door shut behind her.
No, I suppose, it probably wouldn't.
Making sure the door is locked tight, I sit back down beside my dad and press play on the movie, deciding to stop thinking of what-ifs. What was the point, when Jessica was all I wanted?
Jessica's POV:
Life without Jacob is as to be expected. Very lonely. I wake up to the sounds of Lauren and Paul having sex and then head to the Ateara General Store for work. It happened out of the blue, me quitting the diner. But the commute was too much and I was tired of Forks, to be honest. Quil, god bless his soul, had gotten me an interview with his mom and she quickly hired me on her team. So now, from seven in the morning to two in the afternoon, I work with Collin, Jacob's cousin at the store.
I should have expected Jacob to find out where I work, but I didn't think he would try to be an idiot and follow me home after my shift. I wasn't ready to speak to him, and I didn't know if I ever would be.
"Why do you keep following me?" I holler behind me, and Jacob stops with wide eyes, surprised at being caught. "I don't want to speak to you."
"Jessica, please-"
"No, shut the fuck up and listen to me!" Stomping my foot, I clench my fists and stop myself from hitting him. "Go back to Bella! I'm sure she'll give you attention until she moves away again!" Shaking his head, he reaches for me but I pull away. I need to stand my ground, I can't let him pull me back in when I know he's not a hundred percent.
With a growl, he tugs at his hair. "Jessica!" His teeth have sharpened and his eyes shine golden. Swallowing my fear down, I give him a scathing look.
"You think you can scare me into following you back home and fucking you then you have another thing coming, dickhead."
"Why would I ever do that? You know I would never do that to you. And you know this wasn't just sex! What you and I have-"
"Had."
"Okay! What you and I had was more than sex. What we shared was the best thing that's ever happened to me."
I fold my arms over my chest and sneer. "You can't even say it. If I was more than just sex than tell me that!"
Jacob opens his mouth, and I really think he's going to say it. That everything that's come to this moment will actually mean something despite what we've been through.
"I-" Jacob's phone ringing cuts him off. Looking down at his caller ID, he pales. Folding my arms over my chest, I watch as he answers the call. "Bella, I'm busy. Can you call me back?"
Fucking Bella. Fucking Bella Cullen ruins another moment for me. No, fuck this. Fuck him, and fuck everything we had. Without a word, I turn and start back towards home, ears hot and heart pounding.
"Jessica, wait-"
"No, leave me alone! I don't deserve any of this. You could have just ignored the fucking call, but no!" Pushing him back, I watch as he stumbles. His expression is pained, but I can't find it in myself to care. Fuck him. "I should have never gotten involved with you! I should have just gotten back with Mike and settled instead of having you break my heart."
I walk away and Jacob doesn't follow me this time. Once I make it inside, I can't help but fall apart. It hurts so much, and for what? What did I do to deserve this?
Fuck this, fuck him.
"Why can't you just tell me how you feel?" I ask into thin air, sobbing into the sweatshirt I had stolen from him. "Maybe I'd take you back if you just confessed."
It was no maybe, it was a definite yet. I would, a thousand times. Jacob was my sun, my moon, and all my stars as cheesy as it sounds. What Mike and I had was minuscule in comparison to what he and I shared.
If that was true, wouldn't he have told you he loved you by now, a voice taunts and I shake my head, wishing that my brain wasn't so stupid. That I wasn't an idiot that decided to fall for him.
Holding the sweater tightly, I settle down on my makeshift bed on the couch and fall asleep. In my dreams, Jacob holds me tightly. And just for a second, I feel pure bliss.
Jacob's POV:
"What do you mean they're gone?" I question as Bella cries through the phone, irritated because she had ruined my chance to win Jessica back but also because she was making it all about her again.
"They just left! They didn't leave a note or a text or anything!" She's sobbing so much that her words are slurred. "Why would they abandon us like that?"
"Bella, I understand you're still dealing with what happened when they left you before, but you have to know that Pixie isn't going to leave you like this. There has to be a legitimate reason."
Sniffling, she snaps, "And how would you know? It isn't like anyone's done that to you!" Her words hit me like a slap and I take a second to gather myself, clenching my fists tightly.
"Did becoming a vampire fuck up your memory that much to forget about my sister's leaving? Or what about my mom dying?" I say calmly, trying to stave off the wolf. She gasps, obviously having forgotten some of her so-called 'best friend's' trauma. "You must be seriously fucked up if you don't think I can empathize. I hope that Carlisle can give you a full mental examination because something is seriously wrong with you."
"I-I'm sorry, Jacob."
"Give the phone to Edward, please."
Bella apologizes again before handing the phone off to her husband. When he answers, he sounds remorseful. "I deeply apologize for her words. That was extremely rude."
"I don't have time for this anymore. Just explain what you think is going on and let's be done with this, please."
Edward and I speak for a while, going over options on what to do and what we think they might be doing. As we say our goodbyes, Edward says, "Jessica will forgive you, Jacob. She loves you as much as you love her."
"Thanks, Ed. I already knew that, but it feels good to hear," Running a hand through my hair, it's almost to my waist now, I say, "Can you tell Bella to lose my number? I can't take care of her anymore."
"Gladly," He answers. "But can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"If anything happens to Bella and me, can you look over Charlie and Renesmee for me?"
The words surprise me, but I don't think before saying, "Gladly."
Jessica's POV:
In my lavender dress, I sit next to Lauren and Paul in the small hall waiting for the bride to come down the aisle. Jared and Jacob stand up front with Emily's brother, opposite Leah, who I couldn't believe was up there, Kim, and surprisingly Rosalie Hale. I guess they had gotten super close after Emmett and she had stayed with them. Little Claire and Chloe are flower girls and stand beside their father, face eager and oh so adorable.
Sam looks scared out of his mind, sweat beading his brow and hands wringing tight. He jumps as the wedding march starts to play and slowly, Emily appears holding her father's arm. She looks like a dream, black hair cut into a slick mullet and makeup to die for. She smiles wide, and even with her scar covering her face she still looks radiant.
When the happy couple meets, you can feel the air around them change. Their nerves are gone and they are at complete peace with themselves. My heart pangs, if only I could have that.
I'm happy for them, ecstatic that they can share their life with each other but still burned from Jacob. Speaking of which, I can't seem to take my eyes off as he stands there, wearing a suit that's almost too small and his hair braided intricately.
It's almost a blur as they say their vows and I-do's, kissing softly after he lifts the veil from her face. As I clap along with the crowd, Jacob mouths, I'm sorry.
You should be, I mouth back. Everyone cheers and follows as Emily and Sam walk down the aisle.
Jessica, he mouths, wetting his lips. Everyone around us slowly files out, it's filled to the brim and everyone is lagging behind. Jessica.
What, I ask, and he licks his lips again before opening his mouth again.
I love you, he mouths and my heart bursts. Eyes widening, I put a hand to my chest. I love you.
At this moment, we're stuck in time with each other. The sounds of everyone talking has faded into the background, and this, us, is the only thing that remains.
I love you, he mouths again, walking towards me. I sit speechless, watching as he pushes through the crowd until he's standing in front of me. "I love you, Jessica Stanley." Leaning out a hand, I take it without thinking. He pulls me to my feet, wrapping his arms around my waist before leaning until our lips are brushing. It had been too long since we've been like this. "I love you."
"I love you too," I whisper, and then we're kissing. The pain in my chest diminishes, and I feel warm and gooey inside and out. We're going to have to talk a lot and work through all of our issues, but at this moment we are just Jessica and Jacob, and deeply in love with each other.