Thank you for the reviews.

Now, of course, I did both. So this is their first Christmas as a married couple and Isobel's first Christmas. I mean, at this point, do you really expect anything different from me at this stage?

Set during 2010.

Day Twenty
The First

Either their first Christmas as a couple/married and/or their baby's first Christmas.

Word count: 2,865

Things were different. Firstly, they were waking up Christmas morning in their own bed rather than at Eddie's parents. Which probably should have felt nicer than it actually was. Mainly because of the second thing that was different. Which was that this was a Christmas of many firsts as it was Isobel's first Christmas along with it being their first Christmas as a married couple.

"I don't know why I keep thinking that I will go back to sleep." Rachel said as Eddie rejoined her after making a hot chocolate while she sorted out Isobel, with her being the only one back asleep.

"It does get better." He said as he handed over the hot chocolate.

"It is three am on Christmas morning. We are leaving in six hours to go to James and Zoe's."

"So?"

"So our sleep is so messed up that we will be asleep before dinner rather than after." She sighed. "And should we both be driving with how sleep deprived that we are?"

"But think. Once we get there, Isobel will only be our responsibility when she is hungry."

"Eddie, she is so grouchy at the moment. She isn't going to like being passed around everyone. Maybe…"

"Don't say that we shouldn't go." He said, interrupting her.

"But maybe we shouldn't."

"And not be surrounded by a bunch of baby experts?" Eddie said as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Look I get it. My incredibly, strong wife believes that she can take on the world all by herself because that is how it has always been for her and I understand I've not been the greatest help in the world."

"Eddie, I don't blame you for that."

"But you don't have to take the world on by yourself anymore. I promise you. Mum, Zoe, Alice and Claire will all be on hand to help. She could even cuddle up with Dad and they could fall asleep together. Rachel, we aren't doing this Christmas by ourselves. Not when you need family more than ever. And I understand that you don't understand family like I do. But they love you and they will have your back. You need to be reminded why I've always tried to make Christmas good for you." He reached out for her hands. "Plus, it is only today. I think you would be thinking a little differently about it if we were at my parents. Because Isobel would definitely be Mum's responsibility now."

Rachel tried to smile at him and she knew that he was right and that she might just be too tired to think rationally. But she didn't know family. She was used to giving others support without thinking that anyone would support her back. Which is why she didn't mind the situation that they were in. She didn't mind that Eddie was struggling with Isobel because she could give him support while having Isobel solely dependant on her.

"But as soon as she gets too grouchy." Rachel started.

"She will be fine, Rach. It's only today."

Rachel just wished she could tell herself that.

There was one thing that Eddie was right about and that was the moment they walked through the door, Isobel was taken from them by Sue and, as of yet, she hadn't been handed back, making her way through the various family members as everyone seemed very keen to have a go at looking after Isobel. But Rachel was right about them almost being asleep before dinner and Rachel almost took Zoe's offer of using their spare room, not realising, to begin with, that she meant after they had eaten.

Rachel expected that it was Eddie who was joining her but she opened her eyes to see Zoe sitting in the spot next to her.

"Has someone sent you?" Rachel muttered as she closed her eyes again.

"Someone was encouraged to check on you. Yes."

"I'm fine."

"Not if what Eddie has just told me is true."

Rachel could feel her brow crease as she opened her eyes to look up at Zoe. "What has he told you?"

"That he isn't coping. Have you tried to get him diagnosed?"

"I asked him if he would go and see someone. He said no. There was no point in trying to force him to go, was there? You know that I know that this is the sort of thing he has to decide to do himself. I wasn't going to force him to go after I was forced to go."

"But then why haven't you said anything? Isobel was born in July. All this time Rachel."

"Because… I'm used to doing everything by myself. Eddie's right. I don't understand family and I don't know how to rely on others. I am always the one that others rely on."

"Well, you can rely on us." Zoe paused for a moment. "Are you doing okay then?"

"I am just juggling looking after a baby and a husband with lack of sleep thrown in."

"Okay."

"Zoe… maybe part of this is." Rachel said before she stopped, only continuing when Zoe gestured for her to finish. "Maybe part of this is that I've always known what I've wanted and this was part of what I want. The husband. The baby. The family. Maybe the longer it took to happen, the more I convinced myself that it was never going to happen. Maybe I am waiting for the moment that I am going to wake up from this dream."

"Then maybe there is where you need to start. You need to stop thinking that this is some dream and live out the reality that you are living. Although I wouldn't have Eddie down as the man of my dreams."

"That is why you are married to James."

"Not even James would be the man of my dreams. If I thought I was dreaming this life, I would definitely want to be married to Hugh Grant."

"No, I am all for a normal man."

"Look, James and Danny have decided that they wanted a boys day and Cathy is going to meet up with her boyfriend, but don't tell Eddie that. So why don't me and Lydia come over that day? Give you a bit of company or a couple of hours of someone else helping you look after your little and big kid."

Rachel was hesitant but she knew that Zoe meant it in a way for her to start accepting their help. Eddie must trust Zoe for him to tell her that he was struggling. She knew that Eddie and Zoe were rather close, maybe because they were close in age. Maybe Zoe felt like she could get more out of Eddie.

"Wait, isn't Cathy 20?" Rachel said.

"This is the second," Zoe whispered. "The first wasn't really that serious. This one is more serious. James has even met him."

"But Eddie can't find out about him?"

"You do know Isobel won't be dating until she is 40. Boys or girls."

"Maybe I can get it down to 30 by the time she is 30."

"Get what down to 30?" Cathy said, as she joined them.

"I've told Rachel," Zoe said.

"Is that wise? No offence Auntie Rachel, but I can't let Uncle Eddie know. Not after the lecture he gave me when I was 13."

"Just wait until Lydia starts dating."

Rachel was going to say something along the lines of that Eddie only cared and wanted what was best for her, but that was when the man in question joined Cathy at the door.

"Wait, who is dating?" Eddie said.

There was a moment where Rachel thought that Cathy was going to say but things were never going to be that simple when Danny walked passed (with Rachel only hearing him).

"Cathy is. A guy named Josh." Danny said.

"Danny!" Cathy shouted.

"And they've had sex!"

"Danny!" Zoe said as Cathy ran off.

"She can't be dating," Eddie said. "Wait, Cathy!"

Rachel sighed at the same time that Zoe did as Eddie disappeared as well.

"Which one do you want?" Rachel said.

"I'll take Eddie. I think Cathy might need to understand why Eddie might be a little protective."

"I'm bloody 20," Cathy said when Rachel found her.

"I know."

"He treats me like I am 12."

Rachel sat down opposite Cathy. "I asked Eddie once that he had a favourite. Maybe he doesn't. But he told me about him coming home from his first day as an NQT to find out that he had a niece and then holding her later and telling himself that he was going to be the best uncle that he could be. I've heard people talk about their own kids in that way and I know that I adore Philip. But I don't quite think I have ever heard an uncle talk about their niece in that way."

"So?"

"He cares, Cathy. And it might be awful and now seems damn right stupid because he is acting like it is the worst thing in the world that you, aged 20, are in a relationship with a guy. Consensual?"

"Of course."

"You could be doing worse things."

"Like?"

"Like… you could be homeless and you could not have any idea where your sister, your only family member, is. You could have just gotten out of a horrible situation by being arrested and you are wanting to change things for the better but you don't have the first idea about how to go about it."

"I thought… I thought the whole prostitution thing was when you were older."

"I was 17 when I was approached by the guy that got me into it. And it took me two years to get out."

"Bloody hell. Auntie Rachel, I…"

"So there is the addition of that now." Rachel said, interrupting her.

"Josh. We've known each other for a while. He is a friend of a friend. We met at a house party and we started talking and we… just haven't stopped. He is lovely and kind and." Cathy stopped. "I'm not going to say that he is the one or anything like that."

"But when you are with him, you feel like you can take on the world."

"Sort of. Maybe more like there are just endless opportunities."

"I get it. Eddie makes me feel that way. I am used to taking on the world on my own but with everything that happened since we met." She paused. "It is like I look at the problem and think of every single way it could go wrong and then he arrives and points out something that I hadn't noticed and then I can only see how things can go right."

"Dad likes Josh."

"And I am sure Eddie will like him too. If he gives him half a chance." Rachel paused. "Take it from me. It is better to have someone to care about you than someone not caring less."

"Will you calm him down then?"

"I'll remind him that he doesn't know the guy. Just because we work with the worst of the worst doesn't mean that every guy is like that."

"And remind him that Mum was 20 when I was born. And I am not thinking about having kids any time soon. There is a lot more that I want to do with life before then."

"And I am sure he will realise that."

Rachel felt like she might have done enough to reassure Cathy that Eddie would eventually calm down about it all. Although Rachel wondered whether this would be the situation every time one of his nieces got a boyfriend (which meant that they would have to go through this situation another five times, and then with Isobel).

"Auntie Rachel. I'm glad that Uncle Eddie found you. You have been good for him. I get what Mum says when she said that Alison joined but didn't join the family. You are one of us now. I hope you know that."

"As I keep being told." Rachel paused. "Look, your mum and Lydia are going to come over when James and Danny have their boy's day. Zoe said that you were meeting up with Josh that day as well. Why don't you come as well? Bring him over and let Eddie meet him. Let them man it out or whatever they have to do to start liking each other."

"I'll have to ask him."

Rachel smiled at her and knew that she would have a couple of days to get Eddie used to the idea that his eldest niece was dating and that he was going to meet the guy. She was sure that Cathy was a sensible girl and that this Josh was someone that loved and respected her. Because Cathy had good male role models growing up. Something that Rachel knew that she envied because then half of what happened to her might not have happened. But then she might not be living the reality that she was now and maybe that was something that she just had to accept.

Eddie let Rachel drive as she said that she had slept for a bit at James and Zoe's where he hadn't. He knew that this Christmas hadn't been the Christmas that he had wanted for the multiple firsts that it had been.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"For what?" Rachel said.

He turned to her. "For this Christmas not being what it should have been."

"Eddie."

"No. This is Isobel's first Christmas…"

"Like she is going to remember any of the day."

"... And our first as a married couple." Eddie continued. "When I proposed last year, this isn't how I expected this Christmas to be."

"Well, you didn't expect my gift and how it would all affect you."

"Still."

"Eddie, this is the first of many. You should know me by now. This isn't the end of the world. It's been a weird Christmas because we aren't at your parents. Isobel isn't going to remember this and we can chalk it up to experience. It has been a day of firsts but, like I said, it is the first of many. In 20 years time when Isobel is bringing home her first partner, we will look back on this and think that it was ridiculous."

"20 years?"

"We work at a school that has above average teenage pregnancy. I think for her to start dating at 20 will be better than that."

"Still think that it is too soon."

Rachel laughed. "Just continue to be a good male role model and maybe she will find someone who is like her father."

"Maybe 20 years if she finds someone like her mother."

"Guys still longer then?"

"Rachel, I am a guy. And was a teenager once."

"And I could bet that you were 100 times better than the boys I grew up around." Rachel glanced over at him. "Isobel isn't going to have my life. Isobel is going to have a life like Cathy and Lydia and Lottie and Abbie and Lois and Ella. She is going to be surrounded by a brother and uncles and cousins that love her and that are going to show her what a gentleman is. And if the guy messed her about, I will allow you to have your moment. But that is a long way off at the moment."

Eddie sighed as he turned to look out the window. They weren't far from home but there was a part of him that knew that he had to say something before they got home. Because he knew that he would lose the nerve then.

"I'll text Kim. I'll see what she can do." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"We both know I am suffering from postnatal depression. Maybe it is time that I accepted it."

"And I am going to go around your parents in the new year. Mainly so I get out of the house and start accepting the help that… our family is silently offering."

"We should never have let it get this bad."

Rachel reached out and grabbed his hand. "Maybe not. But we usually do things together. And that is what we thought we were doing."

He raised their hands and placed a kiss on the back of Rachel's before she released his hand so that she had both hands on the steering wheel. He turned to look at Isobel as she started to stir and he knew that Rachel was right. This was the first of many. And it made the fact that they weren't in the best of situations with the first a little bit more bearable.