Thank you for the reviews.
So this is definitely something. As I mentioned to Gem and Em last night, this just kept going and more and more ideas added themselves to the original idea that I finished this at 2:42 this morning. Enjoy this little Christmas Eve present
Set during 2008 and an alternative look at the last three chapters. You can make your own mind up to which one actually happened.
Day Twenty Four
Christmas Romance
Eddie asks Rachel to Christmas dinner with his family because they won't stop pestering Eddie about being single. It might just have to last a little longer than just for Christmas when Rachel is invited to Eddie's family New Years Eve party and to stay with them between Christmas and the New Year.
Word count: 10,570
Eddie thought that it was the perfect idea. He knew that him and Rachel weren't completely official yet but there was a part of him that hoped that she would become official with his family before their colleagues. Maybe it would be the way that they would start to become official.
Which was the reason why Eddie walked into her office with a massive smile on his face. Because this might be the first Christmas that he wouldn't be moaned at for not finding someone else after Alison.
"I do think I prefer it when you come into my office in a bad mood." Rachel said.
"Why?" He said, taken aback by her comment
"Because I think I could guess why you are in a bad mood. I can't guess why you are in a good one."
"Then I won't keep you in suspense. Where are you spending Christmas this year?"
"At home."
"With Melissa?"
"Probably."
"Well… why don't you spend it with me and my family?"
He could see her thinking over it and he wondered whether she was going through the same thought process that she did the last time he had asked her to spend time with his family.
"I… I can't leave Melissa and Philip on their own." She paused for a moment. "Maybe next year."
If anything, he slightly expected that answer from her. But it didn't soften the blow as she said it. He knew that Melissa was family to her but it seemed strange, to him, that she would choose someone that she constantly said that she only tolerated over someone that he thought that she loved.
"No, of course. Of course. They are your only family."
"Eddie."
"No, I didn't think."
She tilted her head to the side. "Look, your birthday is in a couple of months. I understand that you want me to meet your family. Just… Melissa would moan if we didn't at least see each other on Christmas. It is the only time that we do get on."
Eddie knew that he would let it slide for the moment, while also trying to work out a way to change Rachel's mind.
Rachel placed her phone down, sighing heavily. She knew that there were two options. Either she spent Christmas by herself as Melissa had decided to spend the day with friends rather than her or she went and accepted Eddie's offer of having Christmas with his family.
She knew that she would have to finally admit why she hated Christmas and why she would work through Christmas and, more importantly, why she didn't understand family and why meeting his was an extremely big deal to her.
Before the courage left her, she got out of her chair and went straight to his classroom (where she knew that he had a free period). She sat on the desk opposite his desk and waited for him to look up at her.
"Ask me again." She said.
"Ask you what?" He said before he thought about it a little more. "Oh."
"Ask me again."
She could only smile as he sat up a little straighter before he delivered the question.
"Rachel, would you like to spend Christmas with me and my family?"
"Yes, I would."
His face lit up in a way that reminded her of the way Michael's face lit up over the Christmas lights. It was nice to see Eddie that happy, even though she was sure that the next part wasn't going to.
"What changed?" He asked.
"Melissa is spending Christmas with a friend. Maybe I… realised that I didn't have to be alone if I didn't want to be." She paused. "And I think it is only fair that… I explain why Christmas is… not my favourite time of year. Why Christmas for me isn't Christmas for you and why." She stopped. "Why I am extremely apprehensive about meeting your family."
"You don't have to."
"I do." Rachel said before she sighed and started to explain everything that she had held back from him.
As much as Eddie had tried to calm her down, Rachel was still extremely apprehensive as they walked towards his parent's house. She could feel Eddie's hand on the small of her back as she felt herself slow down her walking.
"Trust me, Rachel. They are going to love you." He whispered to her before he opened the door.
Rachel took a deep breath before she followed him in. The house was incredibly noisy for Rachel, with playing and arguing coming from all different directions. She almost felt like she had walked into Waterloo Road.
"Uncle Eddie!" A girl (Lois, as Rachel, later found out) shouted as she ran towards him.
Rachel was smiling as Eddie picked her up underneath his arm and others started to join them. Although she intervened when Eddie started to turn around, swinging Lois around in the process.
"Be careful, Eddie." She said as she managed to catch Lois' head before it hit the wall.
"What?" He said as he spun towards her.
"You almost concussed the poor girl."
"So are you her?" One of the girls (Abbie) said.
"Abigail, that is not how we talk to people." A man said as he joined them, holding out his hand. "Ryan. I'm the brother-in-law."
"Rachel." She said as she took his hand. "And don't worry. I've worked with the worst kids in the worst schools. I've been called a lot worse."
"Still, it isn't something that we want to encourage. Is it?"
"No, Dad," Abbie said.
"Edward! Bring the poor girl into the house rather than her standing on the doormat."
"Mum," Eddie whispered as he put down Lois. "Come on."
Rachel couldn't help but take a breath before she followed Eddie, taking the wink from Ryan as a 'you'll be fine' gesture. She could feel her heart beating and her stomach was doing flips. She had never been this nervous, even for her first interview for a teaching position. Yet something completely terrified her about meeting Eddie's mum. Which, with hindsight, she could laugh off later.
"Hi, Mum," Eddie said, placing a kiss on her cheek.
"Well? Come on Edward. Introduce me."
That broke the ice perfectly and Rachel couldn't help but smile.
"Mum, this is Rachel. Rachel, my Mum, Sue."
Rachel had expected to get a 'hello' out, maybe a 'nice to meet you'. But she found herself in a hug with the older woman and things, for Rachel, continued on that road as Sue cupped her face.
"Well, at least he can pick a pretty one. Not that Alison wasn't." Sue said.
"I…" Rachel started.
"None of that. You are a beautiful girl and my boy better feel lucky to have you."
"Don't worry Mum, I do," Eddie said.
"Well, I feel lucky to have him as well." Rachel said.
"I wouldn't." A woman said as Sue went off to put the kettle on. "Alice. Glad to finally meet you after Ed hasn't stopped talking about you."
"Oh no, you're embarrassing me," Eddie said sarcastically.
"Oh, if you want me to embarrass you, then I've just got to find that photo of you, aged seven, sitting naked in that puddle."
"You dare."
"None of that," Sue said, stopping the argument before it even started. "Tea or Coffee, Rachel?"
"Mum, we are already on the wine. Red or white?"
Three o'clock on Christmas Eve afternoon seemed a little early for wine for Rachel but she knew that she wasn't going to wake up the next morning and work her way through Christmas. This was her chance to do Christmas properly and part of that was probably to jump in, feet first. Something Rachel wasn't used to doing.
"Red, please." Rachel said.
"Ooh, I like her," Alice said before she walked off to get the drink.
"Edward?" Sue asked.
"I'll have a coffee, Mum."
"So Rachel, Edward has mentioned that you aren't fond of Christmas."
By the way that Eddie was acting, she could tell that he had mentioned something but on the idea that his mum wasn't going to say anything.
"Christmas… holds some of my worst memories." Rachel said.
"Like?"
Rachel could tell that Eddie was willing his mum to shut up and it was clear that he had just said that she wasn't fond of Christmas, not how Christmas was ruined for her.
"My… mum's last gift to me and my sister. It wasn't… quite what I expected from that Christmas."
Sue didn't push it and she knew that Eddie was glad about that. But Rachel wondered whether she would push it and, if so, how much should Rachel reveal.
Rachel was unpacking the few things that she had brought when Alice entered the room. She smiled at her before she continued her task.
"Mum's asked me to ask," Alice said.
"Why I am not fond of Christmas?" Rachel asked.
"That question exactly."
A couple of hours it took for Sue to push it.
Rachel had been introduced to the rest of the family and she was quite glad that Eddie had made her remember who all his family members were, meaning that it was just a case of placing a face to a name rather than learning all their names (although as a teacher, it probably wouldn't have taken her long). But Rachel could tell that it was playing on Sue's mind.
"It was either going to be me or Zoe. We are the responsible ones. Claire as well but Claire isn't as good getting information out of people." Alice continued.
"Well…"
"Oh, this looks like an alcohol story."
"What sounds like an alcohol story?" Zoe said as she stepped into the room as Alice rushed out.
"Why I don't like Christmas." Rachel said.
"Sue knows that, doesn't she?"
"I think Eddie mentioned something. Sue has asked Alice to get it out of me."
"Does Eddie know?"
"Of course." Rachel hesitated as she wondered whether she should add the last part. "And why this is all a big deal for me."
"Vodka?" Alice said as she reentered the room, holding up the bottle and three shot glasses.
"How old is that?" Zoe said as she took the bottle off Alice.
"Well, I think I hid it after stealing it at a party in… ooh… 19...85. I was 15 and hid it so well that I forgot about it until Dad called up to ask us to clear out our rooms so that they could redecorate. This has been waiting for a moment like this."
Rachel hesitated again, knowing that the vodka would be just as bad as what she was about to reveal. It burnt the back of her throat as she tipped the shot back at the same time that Alice and Zoe did, but she knew that the years that she lived off of vodka had put her at an advantage as she only winced while Zoe and Alice were coughing and making noises.
"That is not good," Zoe said.
"It isn't meant to be good. Go on Rachel." Alice said as she poured them out another shot.
"I said to Sue that it had something to do with the last present that my mum gave me and my sister. Actually, that is our rather sadistic view on what happened." Rachel took the shot off Alice as it was handed to her. "My mum committed suicide and I found her Christmas morning." She said before she took the shot. "Our neighbours were meant to find her but I found her and… We cope differently. Me and Melissa. She drinks. I work."
"Fucking hell, how old were you?" Alice said.
"Ten. Mellisa was five."
"Holy fuck."
"That is me doing that to Cathy and Lydia if I hadn't had Danny," Zoe said. "Christ, I don't even want to think about it like that. Your dad?"
"Never knew him." Rachel said. "He got Mum pregnant with me and left to return four years later to do the same thing with Melissa."
"No wonder you got Eddie and Alison talking," Alice said.
"I couldn't see a reason why Michael had to miss out."
"Not because you fancy my brother." Alice made a face. "Eww, you fancy my brother."
"Alice, I'm married to one of your brothers," Zoe said.
"But James has the responsibility of being the oldest as his redeeming feature. Ed, on the other hand, what redeeming qualities does he have?"
"He is kind and sweet and an idiot most of the time and that is frustrating but sometimes his thoughtfulness outweighs his thoughtless actions. He proved to me that he is loyal and… I don't quite think that I would want anyone else by my side at Waterloo Road." Rachel said before she saw the way that Alice and Zoe were looking at her. "What?"
"Welcome to the family," Alice said, with Rachel wondering how that related to what she had just said.
Eddie could hear the commotion in the hallway and he knew that it was time. He opened his eyes and pulled himself a little closer to Rachel before he started to place kisses on her neck, trying to wake her up slowly. He knew that this should have been something that he should have mentioned to Rachel but he felt like the best way for her to experience their Christmas was to not know what that entailed.
He rarely saw Rachel wake up. But he could tell that she was by the changes in her breathing. She was an incredibly light sleeper, meaning that he knew that it wouldn't take a lot for her to wake up. He pulled her tighter towards him as she pushed herself back into him.
"Well, this is a nice wake-up." She mumbled.
He couldn't help but smile at her comment and part of him wondered whether he could try and do this again at some point. Maybe for a different activity than was planned at the moment.
"Merry Christmas Rachel," Eddie said before he placed a kiss on her cheek.
"Merry Christmas Eddie." She paused for a moment. "What time is it?"
Eddie rolled onto his back to check the clock on his bedside table. Just as he suspected, the kids were right on time with the clock saying that it was 3:54 am. The adults would all be up soon. He knew that he would have to get Rachel out of bed.
"Just before four am." He said as he settled again.
Eddie watched her slowly nod as she took in his words in her half-asleep state. It was clear that it took a moment or so for it to hit her properly what he had said.
"Just before four am?" She said.
"Yeah."
"Four am?"
"Yes, Rachel."
He felt like she was going to repeat herself until his bedroom door opened and the soft light flooded into part of the room.
"You didn't tell her, did you?" Alice said, rubbing one of her eyes.
"Tell me what?" Rachel said, sounding like she was ready to go back to sleep.
"I thought it would be best left as a surprise," Eddie said.
"What surprise?"
"If I was you, I would get up quick. Otherwise, you will have kids jumping all over you." Alice said before she left them.
"Eddie, why is everyone up at four in the morning?" Rachel asked as she turned to him.
"You'll find out. And Alice is right. If we aren't down soon, then we are going to have several kids coming through that door to wake us up."
Rachel huffed before she threw back the duvet. "This had better be worth it. And someone better be making coffee."
"Oh don't worry. Coffee is being made."
Rachel was sure that she was, potentially, living her worst nightmare. She was awake at four am on Christmas morning with screaming kids running about. She was sure she would be okay once she got some coffee in her system but she was not completely happy with Eddie's comment that they were to go down in their pyjamas. Rachel was in a house of people that she had only known for 12 hours and she was expected to go downstairs in her pyjamas. She was quite glad that she brought her dressing gown with her as she wrapped it tightly around herself as she walked down the stairs.
"Coffee Rachel?" Zoe said as Rachel reached the hallway.
"You are a lifesaver." Rachel said as she walked towards the kitchen.
"Alice said that Eddie hadn't mentioned."
"I don't think anything could have prepared me for the four am wake up. Especially when this is the one day I would allow myself to have a lie-in."
"I'm sure Eddie will explain why. And once this is over, then we all go back to bed."
"I'm not going back to sleep though."
"Just snuggle with Eddie. How do you have your coffee?"
"Black, no sugar."
"Oh God, you are unnatural," Alice said as she joined them.
"Are you like Eddie then with milk and three sugars?" Rachel said.
"That is the natural way to have coffee. A caffeine and sugar rush."
"I've managed to get Eddie down to two sugars."
"Whoops. He has three for this cup." Zoe said.
"I am hoping to get him down to one."
"My sweet-tooth brother? Never?" Alice said.
Zoe gave Rachel an eye roll as she handed two mugs to Alice to hand out around the adults. She handed Rachel hers and Rachel felt comfortable enough with Zoe to stand with her for a moment. They were both, technically, outsiders to the family. Maybe her early morning thoughts would be answered by Zoe.
"Zoe…"
"Everyone already loves you. Nobody hates you or anything like that. You are one of the only things that Eddie has spoken about for the last year. And he has been asking for mine and Alice's advice over what he should do. We are making sure that he doesn't muck this one up."
"Just…"
"Don't. Just go with the flow. By New Years, it will be like you've been here all your life."
Rachel didn't quite know how to tell Zoe that she was only going to be there for a couple of days, not for the whole Christmas period. Eddie had invited her for the whole time but they had compromised on a couple of days after Rachel let Eddie know all her anxieties over meeting his family. With Zoe's comment, she didn't quite think that was going to happen. It was definitely something that she would have to discuss with Eddie.
Rachel helped Zoe with the last few mugs and they moved into the living room for Rachel to find out what this was all about.
If anything, Rachel did wonder why the opening of the Christmas jumpers was done at four in the morning and it was Robert that explained it to her, with the man already feeling like a father figure to her (which she tried not to focus on).
"Rachel," Sue said, handing her over a present.
"You didn't have to." Rachel said as she put her coffee to one side to accept the present.
"When Edward said that he might have a plus one, I couldn't leave you our, dear."
Rachel smiled and waited for the rest of them to be handed out before she opened it with everyone else. She got the general idea that they were to put the jumper over their pyjamas and she copied them, not really knowing what else to do other than that.
Her eyes connected with Eddie's and she knew that they had to have a conversation about how long she was going to be there for. Because she didn't quite think that her original plan was going to work and, therefore, she had under packed. She just didn't know how they were going to solve that part.
"Honestly, can't you boys do anything right?" Sue said as she ended her rant at Eddie when she found out that Rachel had originally planned to only stay a couple of days.
Eddie shook his head at Rachel and she was sure that he was telling her that even if it was her idea, it would still be Eddie's fault.
"Alice!" Sue shouted.
"Mum," Eddie said.
"Well if you aren't going to do it right then I need to ask someone who will."
"What has Ed done now?" Alice said as she joined them.
"He only invited Rachel for a couple of days rather than until the new year," Sue said. "So I need someone that I know will do the job properly."
"Oh, you can trust me, Mum," Alice said, looking straight at Eddie when she said it.
Eddie rolled his eyes and before Rachel really knew it, she was standing at the door with Alice and Zoe, with Cathy poking her head out of the door of the living room.
"Can I come?" Cathy said.
And so the interrogation starts. Rachel thought.
"For what reason?" Zoe asked.
"To get away from the kids," Cathy said. "And also to be a little nosey."
"Well, at least we know you are a Lawson," Alice said. "Come on then. And let's go before any of the other nosey parkers want to come."
Rachel caught Cathy smiling and she knew that she was right all along. She didn't have to be worried about the brothers or sister or sisters-in-law or brother-in-law. It was going to be the nieces that were going to be the worst when it came to her dating Eddie and she wondered what Cathy had to say.
"Sorry, why are we doing this?" Cathy asked.
"I was only going to stay a couple of days." Rachel said.
"What? Uncle Eddie didn't invite you for the whole time."
"No, he did. I just… It is going to sound strange but I've never had what you've had. I have a sister that I only tolerate so that I can see my nephew and… this is the first time I have ever met a boyfriend's family." She paused. "And it is daunting by how close you all are. Eddie adores you all. What if I don't fit into that?"
"Christ you are insecure."
"Cathy!" Zoe said.
"What? The way Uncle Eddie spoke about her, it seemed like she was brimming with confidence. Are we all that daunting?"
"You'll have to ask Auntie Clarie, won't you?" Zoe turned to them. "And don't worry Rachel, I think you are fitting in quite well."
It wasn't long after that Rachel told Alice which house to pull up outside of. Whatever interrogation technique Cathy was going for was gone pretty quickly.
"A TT. You have an Audi TT." Cathy said. "Why did you bring Uncle Eddie's car?"
"Because I don't like taking directions and Eddie is not driving it any time soon." Rachel said.
"I don't blame you."
"Nor do I," Alice said. "He wrote off his first three cars."
Rachel felt like that should have shocked her more than she should have done. They got out of the car and Rachel let them all into her house. She allowed them to have their little snoop as she ran up the stairs to get the few extra things that she needed, wondering whether she should pack something to show Eddie how grateful she was for him coming into her life.
She had heard the car pull up and went to the window to see who it was, with her only really having one person that would be seeing her now. She left the bag on the bed and made her way down the stairs. Of course, Melissa would turn up in the five minutes that she was home.
"Rachel!" Melissa shouted as she started to come down the stairs. "Care to explain."
"That is Alice, Eddie's sister, Zoe, Eddie's sister-in-law and Cathy, Eddie's niece."
"But what are they doing here?"
Rachel didn't have enough time to feel guilty. Because Alice bit back.
"Woah, you are the one that abandoned her on Christmas. Although, I do think that we are a better offer. Miles better offer." Alice said.
"How do you mean?" Melissa said.
"Honestly, if I spoke to Lydia like you just spoke to Rachel, I think I would be grounded for the next month," Cathy said. "You know, common decency. Like you could have come through that door and said 'Oh I'm Melissa, Rachel's sister.' and we would have all introduced ourselves. Like Philip here did but you just got into a hissy fit."
"Hissy fit?"
"Mum," Philip said.
"I'm going to spend up until the new year with Eddie's family." Rachel said, in hope to move the conversation on.
"What about us?" Melissa said.
"I thought you already had new years sorted."
"So?"
"So it shouldn't matter where I chose to spend mine."
Melissa seemed to look at Alice, Cathy and Zoe before she turned back to Rachel.
"Fine then," Melissa said before she stormed out of the house.
Philip looked a little sheepish for a moment before he looked at her.
"Thank you for my present." He said.
"You are welcome." Rachel said.
"I'll Ummm… sort her out."
Rachel felt herself sigh as the front door closed, dreading what the fallout of this all was going to be. She could always count on Melissa to over react. And there was definitely a shift in the atmosphere. If anything, Rachel just wanted to tell them to leave and for her to go back to her original plan. Just she didn't think the three women with her would agree with that plan.
"Is she always like that with you?" Alice asked.
"Probably." Rachel said.
"Then no wonder we are so daunting." Cathy said.
Rachel didn't know how to respond to that, instead mumbling about how she was going to finish. She missed the conversation that they all had about how they weren't going to say anything to Eddie and how they needed to sit her down and talk about it.
Eddie had no idea why he was so restless. Well, he knew why. He just didn't understand why he was this restless about Rachel being with Zoe and Cathy. Alice was a big worry for so many different reasons. And he knew that was the reason why Tony sat next to him.
"Well, that wasn't your wisest move," Tony said.
"If Mum knew what I knew or how I battled with Rachel for a couple of days rather than just Christmas Day, then I think she would be a little more understanding," Eddie said.
"Like what?"
Claire shot a dirty look at Tony and Eddie didn't know how much more he could fight his family over Rachel's life.
"She told me, a year ago, that she was jealous of me," Eddie said. "She never knew her dad. Her mum died when she was 10. Then there was the whole prostitution thing. She is then reunited with Melissa in her late-20s to find out that she has a nephew. She tolerates her sister so she can have a relationship with Philip. I get why this is daunting to her."
"And I thought I was nervous," Clarie said.
"Rachel also overthinks everything. Like we've been dating four months but it was only two weeks ago that we added the labels to our relationship. Give her a kid who is going to leave the education system with nothing but a one-way ticket to prison and she won't give up on that kid until they believe in themselves. Me and our growing relationship… she would have thrown in the towel as soon as she could have done." He sighed as he shook his head. "I do take that she wants to be here longer as a good sign. I just worry whether she has already decided how long this relationship is going to last."
"Well either forever or not very long as she was left with Alice," Tony said.
The door had Eddie shooting out of his seat and into the hallway. The smile on his face dropped slightly as he saw how Rachel was. He knew that he would have to interrogate Alice later to ask what she said. Because Eddie knew Rachel well and he knew that the same person who left hadn't come back, even if she was trying to smile at him.
"I'll put this upstairs." Rachel said, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she passed him.
"What the hell have you said?" Eddie whispered as loudly as he dared to go.
"Melissa. We will explain later." Zoe said.
Eddie wasn't sure whether he could wait for later as he followed Rachel up the stairs to work out what happened in the time that she wasn't with him.
"Oh no, come on," Alice said as she came down the stairs as Rachel started to go up them.
"No, Alice. I'm tired."
"No, you are only tired because of what happened earlier. Come on, you need to talk earlier out."
Rachel didn't feel like she had much of a choice as Alice turned her around and looped her arm around Rachel's. She didn't know where they were heading as they went out that back door until she saw the playhouse at the end of the garden.
Zoe and Claire were already there and there seemed to be a red wine waiting for her. She took the seat next to the glass of red.
"The boys have the basement. We have my old playhouse." Alice said.
"Why the playhouse?" Rachel asked.
"Because I have always been outnumbered. I loved the fact that it was niece after niece after niece. I definitely needed more girls in the family." Alice paused. "And the reason for tonight is that Mum and Dad always give us today as a break from being parents. I think that it is because they would have wanted when we were younger."
"But four kids over ten grandkids?"
"It is only really Ella now that needs to be put to bed. Everyone else just needs to be reminded that they need to go to bed." Claire said.
"So you just sit here and drink?"
"And I hear way too much about my brothers," Alice said.
"Oh, you encourage it," Zoe said.
Rachel knew that she had been in a weird mood ever since they had come back from hers. Eddie had tried to get what happened out of her but she tried to brush it off. But she knew that she couldn't brush it off with Alice and Zoe. Not when they were there.
The door to the playhouse opened and Rachel felt like she should have been more surprised that it was Cathy that had followed them out.
"Can I join?" She said.
"For a bit," Zoe said as she poured Cathy a glass of wine. "Because I don't think you want to be here for the second half."
"Why?" Cathy said as she accepted the drink from her mum and sat down.
"You'll find out."
"I know I have asked this but is Melissa like that with you all the time?" Alice asked. "Because Cathy is right. If any of us spoke to any sibling like that then we would have been beaten."
Rachel knew she was silent for too long. She didn't know really what to say or what she wanted to say. The story of her childhood was one that she didn't wish to tell and she didn't want anyone else to have.
"Mum was always too busy working." Rachel started with. "I think she was working three jobs when she… died. There was a cleaning job and one at a shop and… I don't know where the other one was. I was pretty much left to fend for both me and Melissa, being told that I was the older one so I should be more responsible. I don't quite think that is what you should tell your six-year-old daughter."
"That would be me telling that to Lois. I would never tell her to be more responsible." Claire said.
"And it would also be like you telling Lois to always look after Ella." Rachel sighed. "Because we didn't have anyone else, we relied on the neighbours to help us out. They had children of a similar age to us so they would take us to school and nursery and look after us after school until our mum could pick us up. Mum would always put Melissa to bed but… by the time I wanted some time with her, she was always too tired. I felt myself going into the background. Maybe it was because I reminded Mum of Dad. Everyone said that Melissa looked like Mum. Maybe I do look like my dad."
"That is no excuse," Zoe said.
"I was then the only one Melissa had and Melissa was the only family I had. I just… found that people would choose her over me. It was always my fault that we were never fostered or adopted because they all loved Melissa but they wanted to keep us together. The rejection just seemed never-ending."
"No wonder you are so insecure," Cathy said, earning a tap on her arm by Zoe.
"I just constantly building myself up again to be knocked back down again. This time didn't seem so bad. Maybe." Rachel stopped as she looked up at them.
"Maybe because of Eddie?" Zoe offered her.
"And maybe because I had someone to catch me. So I didn't fall as far."
"Was that after I beat some sense into him?" Alice said.
"Probably."
"Beat some sense?" Claire said.
"Oh, he came moaning to me about Rachel being a prostitute. And Cathy knows." Alice said before Rachel had the chance to interrupt her. "And he just said all this shit while trying to take the moral high ground. So I allowed him to tell me everything that he thought about it and why it was so wrong and all of that for me to ask him whether he was finished. He hadn't even nodded when I started to slap the hell out of him. I told him he was a prick and all that. When I stopped and he composed himself, I just asked all these questions that he had no idea what the answers were. The next time I saw him, he did. I literally beat some sense into my brother."
"I didn't expect him to take it well." Rachel said.
"But he took it awfully."
"I still have no idea what this has with Melissa treating you like that," Cathy said. "Surely everything that happened should have brought you closer together."
"I still don't think she has ever forgiven me for the prostitution. Which is why I never told her that I took the offer of making a thousand pounds a week to try and better both of our lives." Rachel said.
"Still doesn't give her the right to be a bitch."
Everyone seemed to agree with Cathy and Rachel had the chance to think over what had been said as Zoe topped up everyone's glass, except for Cathy's.
"Hey," Cathy said.
"No way. This is where you go." Zoe said.
"Why? What is so secret about what you do here? I've watched you for the last four Christmases. I want to be a part of it."
"So you want to find out how good sex with your Uncle Eddie is?"
Cathy was out of there very quickly and Rachel was unsure whether it was Zoe actually asking her the question or just a way to get Cathy to leave. There were a few moments of silence with them all looking at her for her to ask.
"Do you actually want to know?" Rachel asked.
"We have some similarities between James and Tony. We just want to see if Eddie is the same." Zoe said before she sipped on her wine. "And trying to ask Alison was like getting blood out of a stone. She didn't enjoy these… meetings in her three Christmases here."
"What are the similarities?"
"We will tell you when you say them," Claire said.
Rachel was unsure about where this was all going but she sighed before she started the (frankly) odd conversation with the three women who had seemed to be more like sisters to her than her own.
Eddie found it a little strange to find his brothers and brother-in-law playing rock paper scissors as he entered the basement. He had made sure that Rachel had been included in the girls' thing before he made his way down to join them.
Every year, he felt like he should say something about them having the warm basement while the girls had to go outside to the playhouse. But he felt like they had definitely made the basement too much of a man's den for the others to agree to swap every year.
"What are you doing?" Eddie asked as he walked over to get himself a beer.
James and Tony were looking over at Ryan and Eddie dreaded to think what this could all be about.
"Alice would kill me," Ryan said as he looked over at James.
"Good thing she isn't here," James said.
Ryan sighed before he turned back to Eddie. "So is… Rachel good?"
Eddie managed to just groan internally. Of course, this would have something to do with sex. He knew way too much about his sister and sisters-in-law from these nights. So, of course, they were going to ask him how Rachel was in bed.
"Go on, just ask the bloody question," Eddie said.
"Well, obviously with her being an ex...prostitute, is she good in bed?" Ryan asked.
"Christ almighty," Tony said.
"Why wouldn't she be?" Eddie said to try and deflect things. "I mean, there are things that she does which I think reflects that she has always looked out for… the man's pleasure but other than that, there are times when she takes the lead and times when she allows me."
"It must be hot when she takes the reins," James said.
Eddie took a mouthful of beer before he said anything, knowing that like him, the three men in front of him would know more about Rachel than he maybe would have liked. And Eddie put that down to two reasons. One, she had been taken advantage of by men all her life and this felt like a lesser version of things that happened to her. And two, she was his. Maybe he didn't want his brothers and brother-in-law knowing just because it didn't feel like something that they needed to know. With Eddie's plan of only giving them the bare minimum in place, he wished that he could get this over and done with as quickly as he possibly could.
"Hey Rach, why don't you join us?"
Rachel was more curious about what was happening and why Eddie wanted her to join them. Although she shouldn't have been when she walked into the kitchen to see Eddie in his head baker apron and Lois, Abbie and Lottie in their official gingerbread tester aprons. She knew that she had been excited by the idea of giving Eddie the aprons but it was nice to see them in use.
"Are you girls going to thank Rachel?" Eddie said. "For your aprons. She is the one that gave them to me."
With that, Rachel felt like they couldn't get their thanks or gratitude for the aprons out of their mouths fast enough. But now she knew what Eddie wanted her to join in with and she didn't think it was a good idea.
"Rachel's never made a gingerbread house before," Eddie said.
"I have made one." Rachel said.
"Not from scratch. How about Rachel joins us so that she knows how to make one?"
Lois had already grabbed Rachel's hand to pull her more into the kitchen and with Abbie and Lottie in agreement with Eddie, Rachel didn't seem to have a choice. She was being dragged into this whether she liked it or not. Abbie handed her an apron out of one of the drawers in the kitchen and she put it on as she asked if anyone had a spare hairband, with her then having to put Lois' hair up as well.
"So then girls, what is the first step?" Rachel asked before she saw the way that Eddie was smiling at her, knowing that she would have to show him how much she appreciated involving her in his family.
"He roped you into helping, did he?" Claire said as she walked into the kitchen.
"Rachel hasn't done anything that she didn't want to do," Eddie said.
"That is true." Rachel said with a smile.
Eddie was glad that Rachel was smiling and it was something that she wanted to do. The girls had left them a while go, with them being left with the unfun part of baking, which was cleaning up. Although, Eddie knew how Rachel liked to keep her kitchen and was sure that this would be the first year that he wasn't going to be moaned at because the kitchen could have been tidier in his mum's eyes.
"I meant the clear up rather than making the gingerbread," Claire said.
"I've seen how Eddie cleans. I could only imagine the state that it is usually left in." Rachel said.
"Hey," Eddie said.
"I am fairly certain that I spent a week trying to get the sauce off my worktop the last time you made a curry at mine and allowed it to dry there."
"You are unbelievable."
"You wouldn't want me any other way, Lawson."
Eddie's thoughts went to one way that he could show her that was true but with his sister-in-law in the room and a house full of people, he knew that was for later. If it was just them, then he was sure that he would have lifted her up onto the counter and started from there.
"Of course I wouldn't." He said as he landed a quick kiss on her lips.
He wondered by her look whether she was slightly unhappy as well that they were in a house full of people. They were used to being on their own in their respective houses unless they had Michael.
"Get a room you two," Alice said as she joined them. "You know Mum would kill you if you had sex in her kitchen."
Eddie was sure that he was blushing by the way that the heat rose in his cheeks. Rachel was blushing as well and it was clear that both their thoughts had run away with them. It might have been the only moment since Stephen's death that he wished that he wasn't with his family. Because he was sure that he had seen a glint in Rachel's eye and now he wanted to know what she was thinking about.
"Right." He said, clearing throat to try and clear his embarrassment. "I think we are done here. I'd… better go and get Michael's bed ready."
Eddie tried to make his way out of the kitchen as quickly as possible but he didn't miss the conversation between Rachel, Alice and Claire as he stopped after hearing Alice say an ouch.
"What was that for?" Alice said.
"Don't embarrass him." Rachel said.
"Oh, but it is so fun and so easy. Plus you looked like you wanted to jump him."
"Wait, does this meant that you've had sex in the kitchen?" Claire asked.
"I am not going to discuss any more of my sex life." Rachel said. "And of course, I wanted to jump him. I mean, he finds it hot when I am in headteacher mode as he calls it. I sometimes can't stop myself from watching him teach because if he was my maths teacher, I would have gotten good grades to please him. Christ, he is hot and adorable when he is right in the moment, passionately talking about maths."
"Roleplay. They are into role play." Alice said. "That is an idea for Eddie's birthday present. We'll have to find an old teacher robe thing."
"I'm leaving this conversation." Rachel said.
"Or a blackboard," Clarie said.
"Definitely leaving this conversation."
Eddie smiled to himself as he decided that he too had heard enough of the conversation. The thing he took from it was that Rachel had bonded with his sister and sisters-in-law well enough that he had no idea why Rachel was so worried. She had just slotted into his family. Maybe like she was always meant to be there.
"Auntie Zoe!"
Rachel smiled at herself before she moved slightly to see into the hallway from the kitchen. She had been around Michael a lot to know the sound of his voice, especially when he was excited. It was something that Rachel was glad of and she knew that it took the time for Eddie and Alison to sit down and properly work out a proper schedule as to when Michael would spend time with Eddie. But she hoped that they both saw that it was worth all the fighting. Because it was these moments that were worth it.
"Rachel!" Michael said as he started to run towards her.
She came out of the kitchen and met him part of the way there, picking him up in the process and bringing him back to where Alison and Zoe was.
"Daddy didn't say that you would be here," Micheal said.
"Well, either he wanted it to be a surprise or he forgot. Maybe more the second one." Rachel said.
"So you've decided to join in the madness," Alison said.
"For some reason."
"Did he tell you about their very early start on Christmas morning?"
"Why would I do that?" Eddie said as he joined them. "Hey mate." He took Michael off of Rachel. "How about I show you where you are going to be sleeping. Because you are in the boys' room."
"Boys room?" Michael asked as Eddie took his bag off of Alison.
"Yeah, you are sharing with Oscar, Danny, Dylan and Isaac."
"Really?"
Rachel couldn't help but smile as their voices became quieter the further they went away and she turned back to Alison and Zoe.
"He has been so excited about this," Alison said. "Actually just for the whole Christmas period."
"Oh, I remember when they were all like that. Cathy has worked out that Christmas is only for drinking. Lydia is also starting to lose that Christmas feeling and Danny isn't going to be too far behind her." Zoe said.
"Alison, take off your coat. I am sure you have time for a coffee." Sue said as she stepped into the hallway before making her way to the kitchen.
"I'm only dropping Micheal off, Sue," Alison said.
"Nonsense. A coffee and a catch up is needed. It's been too long."
"Has she always been like that?" Rachel whispered.
"Trust me, Rachel. If you want someone to mother you, Sue is already doing it." Zoe said in the same tone.
And to Rachel, that wasn't the worst idea in the world.
"Rachel, what you doing?" Michael said she walked down the stairs with Ella on her hip.
"We are about to go and finish off the gingerbread houses. Do you want to help us?"
Michael seemed more intrigued than wanting to help but Rachel was sure that the sight of all the sweets on the kitchen table probably made him a willing participant like Ella was.
"Here Micheal. I'll get another apron." Abbie said, taking off her gingerbread taster apron to give it to Michael.
"Thank you." He said.
Rachel put down Ella and helped Michael with his apron before helping Ella with hers (with Lottie already giving up her apron).
"Ah, Micheal, are you joining us as well?" Eddie said as he walked into the room with one of the gingerbread houses.
"Yeah. I've not done one though." Micheal said.
"Well me, Abbie and Ella are going to do one and Rachel, Lottie and Lois are going to do the other. Two experts and a rookie on each team. You can decide who you want to help."
"Rachel."
"Good, then we can be beginners together." Rachel said.
Eddie went to go and get the other gingerbread house and they sat either end of the table to get their houses done. Lottie and Lois seemed to know what they were doing so Rachel allowed them to take the reins, nudging them slightly when there was a part where she felt like Michael could do.
If anything, there was no way that she was reaching for the sellotape this time around. The roof hadn't caved in due to the weight of the icing (because Rachel had used too much) and she admired the level of detail that Lottie had to say where she thought things should be with her only turning to Rachel a couple of times for confirmation that it was a good idea.
There was a moment when Rachel looked up and saw Eddie with Abbie and Ella, knowing that she would love for him to have a little girl in addition to having Michael. Because she loved how gentle he could be and how calm he was with them, even when she was sure that Ella (accidentally) tried to destroy all their hard work.
He caught her looking and him and she wondered whether the look on his face was for the same reason that she had for the look that must have been on hers. They were two adults that were seeing the other one as the parent that they could be. And they wanted that for the other one.
Rachel added it to her mental list. Something to bring up for when she was showing him a little appreciation for everything that he had given her over that Christmas period.
Eddie was very suspicious of the reason that everyone was trying to make him go to bed. Rachel had gone for a shower a while ago and it was only then that he realised that she hadn't returned. So he made it seem like he was going to find Rachel instead of going to bed like they wanted him to.
He very quickly worked out why they wanted him to go to bed when he walked into his bedroom, calling out for Rachel, to see her standing there in a lingerie set that almost made his jaw hit the floor.
"Merry Christmas Eddie." She said, with a smile that Eddie had come to know was quite deadly.
He couldn't stop himself from slamming the door shut, realising how much of an overreaction that might have been. He tried to say something but only weird noises came out of his mouth, only making Rachel's smile widen.
"Good, because I need to do the talking."
Eddie was still struggling to put a sentence together when she walked over to him and grabbed his hands to pull him over the bed to sit him down. His mind was in a thousand different places and him only just understanding what Rachel had said, he knew the one thing he had to say.
"Do you… Ummm, want me to listen?" He said.
"Am I distracting you, Lawson?"
"Well umm… maybe just a little bit."
He knew that he had asked for it but he was a little disappointed when she grabbed her dressing gown and wrapped it around herself. He tried to clear his thoughts as he looked up at her.
"Eddie… I told you why this was daunting to me and why I refused you last year and why I almost refused you this year. And it is usually really hard to change my mind about things. But I am glad that I did." She cupped his cheek. "I… I didn't know family. I accepted what me and Melissa had because I didn't know any differently. But I understand now. I have you and I have your family. I… could have sisters that are actually like sisters. And your parents. Zoe said something about If I wanted someone to mother me, then your mum is already doing it. Maybe that wasn't something that I had realised that I wanted before.
"And it scares me. It terrifies me really. How well I have fitted in. I thought that they were going to hate me or I was going to rub them up the wrong way. But I now understand that isn't the case. And it seems stupid that I was so nervous and worried. But I am glad I changed my mind and I am glad for you and I wanted to tell you that and show it in the only way I know how."
"I'll take it this once." He said as he smiled up at her and pulled on the belt of her dressing gown.
"I think, no matter how gentlemanly you are, Mr Lawson, you are just a man."
"That is because, Miss Mason, you are a beautiful woman with a list of admirable qualities."
He could tell that there was a part of her that wanted to argue with him but she didn't as she dropped down to kiss him and start to show him how much she appreciated what he had given her.
Eddie was sure that there weren't any more reasons that he needed to be happier than he was at that moment. He had his son on his hip and his girlfriend smiling up at him as the countdown started for the new year. A new year always meant new opportunities and he felt like 2009 held a lot of them. He could only see his relationship with Rachel growing and he was excited to see what the next 12 months brought them.
Well, there were a couple of things that he hoped for like them moving in together and maybe starting to think about a little one. As much as he didn't want to remind Rachel, but they were working against her body clock, which some people would have said had been ticking down for a while. He knew things would happen for them when it was meant to happen.
Things only felt better in the final moments of the countdown as the room was filled with shouts of 'happy new year'. Eddie knew that, no matter what, he was going to be kissing Rachel at midnight and he was glad that they thought of the same thing as the leant in at the same time. It didn't last long but it was long enough for them to savour the moment.
"Where my kiss?" Michael said.
Eddie smiled at Rachel before they both placed a kiss on Michael's cheek at the same time. It seemed like that was the last moment that he saw Rachel until later as they were dragged out of their little bubble by various family members.
"I don't want this to end." Rachel said, pulling herself a little closer to Eddie as she rested her head on his shoulder and locked one of her legs around his.
"We do have to go back to work."
"I don't mean that."
"Like what then."
Rachel gave Eddie a moment to think about what she meant but she knew that she would have to spell it out for him. And she thought that he had listened to what she had said to him a couple of days before.
"I don't think I can go back to sleeping in a bed, by myself, after spending the last week or so with you." She said.
"So… do you want me to move into yours? Or you'll move into mine?"
"Well, we are here for another couple of days. Maybe we could decide over the next couple of days."
"Yours is bigger, isn't it?"
"Slightly. Why?"
"Just." He stopped and tipped her chin up so she was looking at him. "I saw you with Michael, Lottie and Lois. I know you mentioned it before and I believe that it is going to happen when it happens but I think we might need to think about the future, don't we? You, me, Michael…"
"And another Lawson." She said.
"A Lawson who is like a Mason."
"Not completely. Have you met me?"
"Met you and fell in love with you."
"Eddie… I think that is another conversation for another time. Let's move in together and then see where we are. You know that we will have to deal with Steph more over the next couple of months."
"Steph is easy."
"Really?"
"Just bore her and then she will look for someone else to bother."
"I suppose."
"She doesn't have the secrecy of our relationship any more and if we go with your original plan, let's go in there on the first day back and tell them what they want to know. Tell them when we started dating and that it isn't going to affect our professional judgment."
"I suppose it is something to mention to the governors."
"I can't see them having a problem with it."
"Just common curiosity, isn't it?"
"I suppose."
Rachel moved her head back to snuggle into him further. There was one thing that she had held back from Eddie the day before and she knew that it was the perfect time to say it.
"You know what. At the bare minimum, I just want to keep making memories with you and Michael."
"I am sure that can be arranged," Eddie said as he pressed a kiss into her hair.
"I thought you had gone, dear," Sue said as Rachel walked into the kitchen.
"No, Eddie… Eddie's dropping Michael off and then coming back. It was easier to do that. As I wanted a word with you."
Sue gestured towards the kitchen table and Rachel still couldn't understand how she felt so at home with Eddie's family. It was something that she hoped that she would work out over the next year or so. Because she had no idea how settled they would be before next Christmas.
"What is it?" Sue said.
Rachel had no idea where to start but she knew that she had to say something to Sue before she left.
"Thank you." Rachel said.
"For what?"
"Making me feel so welcomed. I don't know how much Eddie and Alice and Zoe have said, but I didn't have a great childhood. I barely know what it is to have a family and I am more than sure that the few memories that I have of my mum I've made better because of the reason she died."
"You were very young to see what you saw."
"And it was why they tried to put us through counselling that never worked. Because me and Melissa were too young to process what happened and why it happened. We were never going to. I still ask myself questions about it all the time."
Sue reached out and placed her hand over Rachel's. "And that is natural, dear. It is probably natural that you still don't understand everything that happened with your mother and her death. I don't think anyone understands how strong someone has been until they do something like that and you are never going to know the full reasons behind it."
"Just… every Christmas, it haunts me. The lead up is the worst but that is when I throw myself into my work more. And I got worse and worse until I completely forgot that Christmas was something that people actually celebrated. This is the first time since I was nine that… I feel like I've celebrated Christmas properly. I've not distracted myself with work but with… people who care and have welcomed me and who seem to care about me now. I-I-I'm not used to having people care about me."
"It is very easy to care about you. Because you are everything Edward has spoken about. You are the strong woman that he moaned about taking his job and then decided that he was completely wrong about. My Edward can't stop talking about you and I know that he loves you a lot. He cares about you a lot. Which makes it easier for us to care about you.
"He was beside himself when your secret was released to the world. He thought you would hate him for it. I just reminded him that you couldn't hate him more than this Stuart person and if he explained what happened and why and promised to still be by your side, you would see that he was there for you. He even had one of the governors come to his house, offering the headship if he went against you and Edward refused.
"My sons were all brought up to be gentlemen. That doesn't mean that they aren't still idiots at times. Although, a smack across the head usually sorts them out. Edward is, unfortunately, a man…"
"But his thoughtfulness outweighs his thoughtless actions." Rachel said.
Sue sat up a little straighter at her interruption. "I don't think that I could have put it better myself."
"Just it was something that Zoe said as well."
"Which was?"
"If I want someone to mother me, you are already doing it."
"I suppose I am."
Rachel was sure that she had got everything off her chest and with Eddie returning and asking her whether she was ready, Rachel knew that this was only the first of many times that she would be in the company of Eddie's family and she knew that, if she hadn't already, it was one that she was willing to join.