M is for merry
"Merry Christmas," Lorna sang.
Nicky didn't look up from her book. "Happy Hanukkah."
"I don't celebrate Hanukkah."
"And I don't celebrate Christmas."
"Yes, you do," Lorna said with a huff. "I remember you saying your mom went to the Bahamas one year."
Nicky's lips quirked downwards. "Well, I definitely didn't celebrate that year."
"This year's different," Lorna said. "We're together this year. And Christmas is so magical! The lights, the presents, the tree...how could you not love it?"
"It's a commercial scam," Nicky shrugged. "Besides, I thought you guys were poor. Didn't you get upset when Santa visited everyone but you?"
Nicky had celebrated Christmas as a child, but she didn't remember one Christmas morning where something hadn't gone wrong. When she was really small, she wasn't allowed to get out of bed before her parents were up, and when she got older, she tore open beautifully wrapped presents to things she would never ask for in a million years. The day quickly lost its shine, if it had ever had one at all. Actual Merry Christmases were for books and the Hallmark channel, as far as Nicky was concerned. She wasn't the Grinch, but she wasn't going to go out of her way to be bright and cheery either. Besides, if she couldn't be nihilistic in prison, where could she be?
"You don't need money to be happy at Christmas. I mean, it helps, but we always had fun. I loved Christmas as a kid. I didn't even realize I was poor til I was like twelve."
Despite the little chuckle, Lorna's voice was small as she remembered Christmases at home. She longed for them; her heart ached for her mom's roast turkey and those late nights when she and Franny would creep up to their window and swear any passing headlights were Santa's sleigh coming to deliver their presents. Even if they woke up on Christmas morning to only a few presents to share between them all, they still looked forward to the day all year long.
Nicky reread the same sentence for yet another time, keeping her eyes on the book. "Well, I'm happy for you. I prefer New Year. At least you get to get drunk and kiss a stranger."
"You could kiss me under the mistletoe," Lorna said.
"The closest thing we have to mistletoe here is whatever laid eggs on the lettuce for tomorrow's lunch." She raised an eyebrow. "By the way, don't eat tomorrow's lunch."
"Nicky, that's gross. You've totally ruined mistletoe for me." Lorna frowned, a little huff filling the silence as she sighed. "Will you at least look up?"
Nicky set her book down next to her and sat up in bed. She nodded her head toward the scrunched up bundle Lorna clutched in her hand. "What is that?"
"It's a present, silly," Lorna said easily, sitting down next to Nicky on the bed. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and offered it out toward Nicky. There were no hard feelings as she smiled encouragingly.
Nicky took it and for the first time, she smiled. She turned the gift over, her forehead wrinkling. Oprah and Brad Pitt stared back at her on one side, and the Victoria's Secret Angels stared back at her on the other. "Wow…"
"Sorry it's not proper wrapping paper. I tried to use the pages I thought you'd like, though," Lorna said, her eyes bright. "I even tried to find Vogue, so it'd be real classy, but no-one had it...this place is crawling with Us Weeklys, though!"
Nicky raised her eyebrow at a spread on bikini-ready bodies. "This is way better than some fat old guy…"
"Ew, gross. I mean, there is an article about The Simpsons, and Comic Book Guy is there, but he's on the back, so…"
"Wait...what?" Nicky asked. "Do you hear yourself? The Simpsons is a fucking cartoon - and I was talking about Santa."
Lorna rolled her eyes. "Oh, like Santa's real?"
Nicky widened her eyes. "He's not?"
"Just open it!"
Nicky smiled and finally tore the paper off. Inside the paper lay a handmade picture frame with a photo of the two of them inside. They sat, side by side, on plastic chairs. Their hands were locked under the table and the sun shone. It had been taken on Mother's Day, Nicky remembered. Yet she didn't remember actually having the photo taken. Granted, they weren't looking at the camera - and somehow that made it all the more special.
Nicky blinked hard to stop any tears in their tracks. "Where did you get this?"
"Healy gave it to me a few weeks ago. Apparently it was for some positive PR stunt, but they never used it. I made the frame from cardboard that Red gave me from the food deliveries, and yarn I found in the Christmas decorations."
Nicky traced her finger along the frame. Yarn wrapped around the cardboard in a rainbow. It was prettier than any DIY she had ever tried.
"Do you like it?"
Nicky looked up to see Lorna beaming down at her, rocking on her heels. "Of course I do, kid. I love it."
Nicky clutched the frame close to her chest and then set it down on her locker. She didn't actually have any photos in her bunk, not like everybody else. If she had a photo of Marka, it would just remind her of the disappointment she'd caused. She had no siblings - sometimes she wished she did, when she saw Franny's face plastered over Lorna's bunk. And as uncomfortable it was to admit, even to herself, she didn't really have any friends worth missing on the outside. Everyone she loved was right inside with her.
"See?" Lorna said proudly, coming to sit down next to her. She squeezed Nicky's face and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. "Isn't that so much better than lighting some stupid candle or something?"
Nicky laughed. "It's a Menorah. Just being wildly offensive there."
"I can't keep up with every religion, Nicky. There's too many nowadays. What's wrong with Christmas, anyway? Everyone knows it's the best one. I mean, there's no comparison!"
"Oh and you made it worse. Are you gonna pray for me, too?"
Lorna rolled her eyes. "I always pray for you, Nicky."
Nicky pulled the brunette close to her and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, you know that?"
"Mhm." Lorna paused for a moment. "And I hope you love Christmas too now."
Nicky rolled her eyes this time, but she didn't feel quite as strongly as she did at the beginning of their conversation. She looked over Lorna's head at the picture frame. Of all the thousands spent on her through the years, that was one of her favorite gifts.
"Maybe I can learn to love it," she offered.
"Well, I've got time to make you love it," Lorna said with a little shrug. "And I know you're going to be happy on Christmas morning."
Nicky's lips quirked into a smile at her certainty. "Why?"
"Because we'll be together! Doesn't that sound good?"
Nicky looked down at Lorna, who looked like she needed Nicky to nod. So she did. If Lorna could put missing her own family desperately aside, Nicky could put her own problems aside. Especially if it made Lorna happy.
"Yeah," Nicky finally conceded. "That does sound pretty good. Merry Christmas, Lorna."
"Merry Christmas, Nicky."
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, guys! I hope you all have the most wonderful holiday and enjoy yourselves, especially this year. I know it'll be different this year, but I'm still hoping for some happy memories. One to remember for sure. This was just a quick little drabble that I thought would be cute. I hope you liked it.
Stay safe and be happy.
- Star xo