Ed hadn't really been fully paying attention the entire time he and his siblings were in the building - well, until they all locked themselves in the vault. Before then, he'd just wandered around and let his mind drift away at some points, whilst others he'd be firmly grounded to the floor beneath his shoes. Aaaand he had a tendency to mentally zone out from dangerous and creepy scenarios.
Now, with the wind (and slight tinnitus) whistling in his ears and blowing against his face, his mind slammed back into reality, back into the sleigh with the weight of ten boulders.
Dear God. They'd all just survived being potentially eaten alive by the Christmastime Killer . On top of that, they survived because his sister was flying a sleigh, spearheaded by a pack of lively skeleton reindeer.
But what really pulled his mind back into its home skull was the very fresh and vivid memories of what he discovered in the building.
Ed had found documents of his very first namesake in the largest offices and studios, alongside faded photos of said ancestors. Judging by the dates and condition of the photos, it must've been around about a hundred years since they were taken. Edward the First must've just bought the building as his first studio around Christmastime to make… Well, whatever he made with his friends. Dad never said what exactly their ancestors did before moving to adventures full-time (and getting another studio by the looks of things), but based off the photo of the building back in its heyday having 'Eddsworld' as the sign name, it could've been something pretty creative…
It strangely gave Ed anxiety to think that the building was part of his family history, even more so when those beautifully unedited documents and photos were now stashed in his gratuitous inner coat pockets.
Wait a minute, wasn't there a family story about someone with this exact-
"Ell! Do you know where we're going?!"
"I don't know, Jaxx! The deer are pulling very hard - I don't think I'm taking them somewhere, they're taking us !"
Ed gulped when he looked below him. Was the ground getting… Larger?
He gripped the edge of the sleigh, pushed his feet firmly on its floor and closed his eyes with gritted teeth.
This wasn't gonna be-
BANG!
The first thing Ed did when the sleigh slowed to a stop was to fall out face-first into the thick, layered snow.
"Ugggghh," his moans were muffled by the cold powder, "Why did this have to happeeeeeen…"
"Sorry, Ed?"
"Why," he sat up straight to face his sister, "Did we have to go in that building in the first place?"
"Hey," Jaxx scoffed, "don't look at me as the source of all these problems."
"Don't bloody well tempt me Oxford, even though it was you who had the damn idea in the first place." he huffed, rubbing extra snow bits off his face.
"Well, shit. You got me there… Now where the hell are we?"
A very good question. Ed noticed the sleigh had landed neatly next to a building. Smaller than the previous one, but it looked…
"Abandoned? Again?" he wondered, "What is it with tonight and abandoned buildings?"
"Erm, Ed? It doesn't look like the only one. I think the deer took us to an abandoned neighbourhood. "
"…Holy shit Ell, you're right," Ed realised, his breath of steam rising to the moon.
"I don't get it," Jaxx shook his head whilst he hopped off the sleigh and Ed stood up, "Why would the deer take us here? Fuck, why is this neighbourhood abandoned anyway? Why even park to this specific… House, if it even is one?"
"Well, we won't know till we head in, right?"
"Fuck no ."
"Me neither."
"Oh come on you two, why not?"
"You saw what just fucking happened, you-"
"Alright, fine, I get it, no need to drag it on, Oxford! If you both want, I'll go in by myself!"
"Oh for fucksakes-"
"Ed wait!"
He'd been two steps toward the faded red door before his twin gripped her hand on his shoulder.
"If you're gonna go in there, don't do it for us. Please."
"Okay then. I'm going for me."
His sister sighed and shook her head, accepting defeat of an argument which would never happen.
"I'll walk with you to the door and stay there. Afterwards, you're on your own. Be careful. We don't know what could be inside after… Just now, really."
"Thanks. And I will."
It made perfect sense to leave the door open when Ed stepped in the house - he could have some more light, an easy escape which could be shut by Ell if he was being chased, and the twins sure as hell didn't want to re-figure out the whole process of a door being opened by an old handle (if it was a pun, Ed hated it) and not by a codeword.
But for now, Ed had the whole place for himself - solely for the purpose of exploring. Maybe even humming to himself with nobody to tell him to shut up like they always did.
So he did.
He hummed and he hummed, through some old songs and carols, before coming up with a few new melodies which he hoped to lock in his head and remember for a Calamity jam session. It was a relief and comfort to sing as he explored this house. Didn't matter if it was quiet or gentle - it still helped him.
Through a kitchen, a junk room, the living room, bedrooms and bathrooms, Ed had found the whole place looking… Familiar . Just to be sure, he pulled out the photos from the previous building and tried to line them up as best as he could.
Sure, they were quite faded, but a lot of the locations… Matched?
Could it be?
Holy shit, he wasn't sure if he believed it. Yet…
At the same time, curiosities- no, clues kept falling into his possession, but questions still continuously conjured themselves in his mind.
Why was there police tape towards the basement door? How come the place was left behind in a state of disarray, like everyone had to evacuate from an earthquake or something? Why was there a tombstone in the living room, with a grave freshly-
Wait.
Oh, shit.
Me: HIDE.
Actual Atom: Why?
Actual Atom: OH SHIT WTF WHO IS THAT
Me: I think the deer came for their owner. They're certainly not in their living room grave anymore
The Twin™: tf you talking bout
The Twin™: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUUCK I LOOKED THROUGH THE WINDOW
The Twin™: WHAT ABT U
Me: Stay hidden behind the door I'll figure it out
Actual Atom: EDWARD ERNEST GOLD THE V I SWEAR TO FCUCK
Chills screamed up his spine as he heard gentle footsteps walking past the room and towards the open door. He voluntarily shut up.
Please go outside please go outside please go outside…
Plap, plap, plap, plap…
Ed immediately grabbed the nearest old lampstand in the living room and creeped his way back to the door, holding himself back from following the new figure who had just left the house.
Ah shit, what was the name on the tombstone? He wasn't always the best with names… Nevermind, maybe if he could peek at who this person was from here…
They were dressed in a deep, dirty, red-and-greyed Santa outfit for a start, which was bloody well weird on its own. Ed was sure this was the sleigh owner now, as they started to pet each and every one of those boney deer, all of them leaning into his… Dear God, were those hands green ?
Me: Guys, where are you?
The Twin™: Still behind the door.
Actual Atom: Under the sleigh and in the snow.
Oh, there he was. He could see a bit of Jaxx's hair sticking out from the snow, but otherwise he hadn't spotted him the first time.
Me: Good. Can you guys see?
Actual Atom: Only the snow I'm in and this phone. Otherwise I'm fuckin blind.
The Twin™: A bit…
The Twin™: Wait wasn't there a family story about somebody who looked like that guy and had This Exact Sleigh
Actual Atom: FFS Ell
Me: Shut up, she's got a point.
The Twin™: I'm getting out now, you Ed?
Me: Yeah. Hands up.
Actual Atom: HELL NO
Ed and his sister gingerly stepped outside their respective hiding spots, hands free in the air when the figure looked up at them from their deer. As the twins kept going towards this person, Ed started to recognise them. He'd never seen them before in his life, but he knew who they-no, who he was from the family tales.
Green, decaying, tightened skin. Teeth which stuck out from the top and a grey-white beard which hid the whole jaw. Sunken skull holes with a small red glow in them for eyes, though they weren't menacing, just calm and somewhat content… For now.
"You two… You brought my sleigh back, right?"
"Our older brother is here too - underneath it," Ell swallowed, "But yeah. We did. Is that really your sleigh?"
"DAMN IT ELIZABETH-"
Bump.
"OW, FUCK! My head…"
"Yes, it is. Oh you know what, you're all closer to being on my nice list. But you look terribly similar to… Well, at least four people I knew of. Like, you're a mix of all of them."
"You're…" Ed swallowed, forcing himself to keep eye contact, "You're Zanta Claws, right?"
"Yeeess? How did you know my name?"
"Oh man… Where do we begin?"
"So…" The undead cadaver mused, sitting in the sleigh's front with the three humans, "You three are descendants of the last four guys I met before I, well… Decided to rest in peace for a bit."
"Yup!" Ed shrugged.
"You found my sleigh and deer in a not-so-abandoned building after being chased by someone."
"Damn right," Ell nodded, "Do you have any ideas why?"
"I parked it there. Wasn't blown up like you might've heard about it. And that building used to be your great-great-grandfathers' first old film studio and offices."
"Oh. Really? Wait. The first? I thought there was only one…"
"He's not lying, Ell." Ed confirmed, "I found photos and documents with those guys in them. This is their house. I think. Some of the photo locations matched up."
"Ed," Jaxx hissed, "why the fuck you didn't tell us?"
"Because we were on the bloody run, Oxford."
"Leave it, both of you," Ell shushed them, "Not in front of Santa Claus."
"Eh, fuck it, I'm dead anyway," Zanta sighed, "As if that's a worry for me. And you're dead-on, Ed, this is their old house. Good eye. By the way, they were all already living here when those photos were taken and stashed at their studio."
"Ohhhhh."
"Ohhhhh."
"Ohhhhh."
"Ah, altogether at once, you're definitely siblings! So with the matter at hand…" Zanta started again, "Who was chasing you in the other building, Ell?"
Ed glanced at his twin, his hands tightening at the notice of her clenching fists.
"I think it was the Christmastime Killer we'd been hearing about for the past few weeks… It was just like the reports... They had horns. A-and claws, I think, but the horns and goat legs are definite. I saw them wearing a tattered cloak, and I heard chains and bells being dragged behind them whenever they moved…"
He backed away when he spotted Zanta's glowing eyes dim and shrink at the words, though the sentient zombie was sitting the furthest from him.
"Jingle balls," Zanta's voice was barely above a whisper, "This. This is worse than I thought. Dirty son of a bitch , the soul-sucking bastard…"
"Um, Zanta?" Ed was on the verge of falling off the sleigh again.
"The entire reason of starving for brains I shouldn't have eaten," his voice now raising higher, "WHY DID HE HAVE TO COME BACK?!"
The echo into the night was bitingly cold as the snow beneath the sleigh. Shivers continuously screamed down Ed's spine as he gripped its side for support.
"Damn it, I should've seen this coming… He told me this was going to happen and I didnt believe it - 'a millennium and century later…' Goddammit. Listen carefully you three. The figure you've encountered back in the offices is basically the opposite of me: an anti-Santa, I would say. He's powerful and skilled in dark supernatural forces, but he can't use those forces to their full potential unless he kidnaps, kills and eats-"
"All those missing people in the past few weeks?" Ell asked.
"-a child on Christmas Eve. Elizabeth, next time let me finish my sentence. But you're still probably right."
"Sorry."
"Were any of the missing people children, by the way?"
"...No, actually!"
"Good. He has power right now from all those people you say he must've eaten, but it is very limited in comparison to what he would be like if he actually ate a naughty kid. Especially on Christmas Eve."
"Didn't you apparently eat naughty children?" Ed wondered, thinking about the family tales.
"Yes and I still can, but that was part of the curse from him to me. Didn't remember it was from him for a while till recently, and it's taking a lot of self-control not to bite your heads off. Anyway, by the sounds of everything, he may as well be your Christmastime Killer. Regarding his abilities right now, he can't directly use his powers on a person, but he sure as hell can make and send minions to do his bidding."
He hopped off the sleigh seat and stormed to one of the deer, grabbing an antler and breaking half of it off its head. In his hand, the broken antler bit burned dark red smoke before turning to dust.
"What. The fuck." Jaxx hyperventilated, "Was that."
"He was spying on you, must've cursed the antler just as you escaped. He knows too much now and he'll be after your relatives very soon. He's a fucking bloodhound." Zanta strode around the deer to Ed's side, "I know it'll take some time for him to rally any backup, but we have been losing said time without knowing. So I'm trusting you to stop him and save your relatives while I finish off some old business for your ancestors."
Wait, what?
"Ell, you know how to ride the sleigh?"
"Um…"
"Ever ridden a horse with reins?"
"Well, yeah. Ed rode them too."
"Like that, but you need to have some strong arms."
"We're mechanics, weaponsmiths and blacksmiths. Ed and I are fucking barbarians under these clothes."
Ed couldn't help puffing up a little.
"Well, if it helps with anything," Jaxx huffed in envy, "A small exchange trip to America for study purposes last summer taught me how to use a few guns. In a shooting range with targets in the shape of dartboards and the KKK instead of human beings, thanks."
"Then you two lads should have no problem with the coal uzi and the candy cane bazooka-cannon in the back. With some refill ammunition for the uzi if it comes to it. Don't worry about losing your hearing, since it's got some magic modifications from me. Might've been something else in the back too, but I can't recall exactly. Bet it might be useful anyway. "
"Holy shit," Ed whistled in astonishment while looking in the back and taking out the cannon, "How didn't we notice these? They're actually there!"
"In… Dubitably." Jaxx managed while analysing the uzi now in his hands, "Hope I won't fucking suck on a moving sleigh."
"Nah, you won't." Ell reassured him, "But you absolutely will if you try to take a selfie during a battle."
"I'll leave you to it," Zanta started to head back towards the open door of the house, "I can't come because-"
"Of what?" Ed wondered.
"I can't repay an old debt to your family," he carried on, his back still turned as he slowly turned his head to look at the trio, "If I let myself be a prime hunk of undead distraction meat with you, can I? Now GO!"
All made sense to Ed as the trio flew the sleigh into the night. Yet... One question- no, two questions remained as the wind whistled in his head.
First, who was going to be struck immediately by this anti-Santa Claus demon bastard?
Second, who was the anti-Santa Claus demon bastard? Well, aside from being the Christmastime Killer, if Zanta was to be believed.
He sighed, rubbing his forehead in hard thought. He was sure the answers to those questions carried not only a last-ditch hope for his entire family, Ed felt, but also potentially the whole of London, then England and possibly Christmas itself.
"I wonder how Auntie Amy's going with her pregnancy," Jaxx mused, "She's due to have the baby in about early January, right?"
"Holy shit, Jaxx!"
"What the fuck did I do?"
"That's who we have to save first! The Richwells, remember? An unborn baby and its mother would be a perfect feast for the Christmastime Killer needing to crack open some dark magic!"
"Unsurprising - then the Hartgraces would be next with little Mattie and Macie, if Derek and Andrea aren't sufficient food since they're about our age." Ell grunted, pulling the reins, "Then the Lawson kids would be last-resort."
But now it left Ed his final question.
"Guys… Did you notice Zanta never mentioned the proper name of the Christmastime Killer? It's clear he knew the guy…"
"Maybe it's cursed?" Ell shrugged, "Fuck, I don't know, I didn't exactly have a grand old tea-party with that son of a motherless goat."
"Just googled 'anti-Santa monster'," Jaxx sighed, staring at his phone, "And I hate to say this, but we as part of human history already know the guy. Wikipedia page and all. If, and big if, the cultists showing up on those big parades on the sixth for his own holiday is true, then… We know who our Christmastime Killer is."
Only one thing crossed the trio's minds and spilled from their tongues as they saw the name on the phone:
"Well, shit."
KRAMPUS