Since picking up Jaxx from the Richwells residence, Ell hadn't heard a single thing except the crackling of the reins, the faint rumbles of distant hover cars and the wind in her ears. The goat and his minions hadn't shown up compared to earlier, and not a gunshot or cannon was heard from her brothers.
The night was getting a little too silent for her liking.
"In three hundred metres, turn left."
Thanks, Google.
"This doesn't seem right." Jaxx shook his head, "Why would the fucking bastard not even try to slow us down to the Hartgraces? I mean, I just fucking barely escaped him, therefore pissing him off. That would set off a wild goose chase, wouldn't it?"
"Maybe," said Ed, "he hasn't cursed something on the sleigh this time. That's how he tracked us down earlier, right?"
"That's… Way too hopeful."
"Oh, come on, Oxford."
"But you have a very good point. Maybe… Fuck, maybe he's immediately directed his attention to the Hartgraces by his literal bloodthirst for children. Especially since we made it clear the Richwells' were off-limits. Besides, he couldn't get away with murdering them all in the hospital - they're a million times safer there than home."
"...You really had to say that, didn't you Jaxx."
"You can't fault me to say the truth, Ed!"
"At least," Ell butted in, "You two agree on something."
"Your destination is five hundred metres on the right."
"Wait." Ed took a sniff, "Does anyone smell smoke? Ugh, it's so strong…!"
"Oh," Ell's breath hitched, "NO!"
The (literally?) flaming goat-bastard was on the Hartgrace Mansion's roof.
Ell had to think fast as the sleigh approached the minion-swarmed area of the home. Somehow, if she could knock off-
Aha!
"Merry Gentlemen, hold on."
"Ell? What the fuck are you-"
WHIP-CRACK!
"ELIZABETH PLEASE-"
Just a right jerk in the reins-
THWACK!
The goat-bastard rolled in the rooftop snow and hung off the edge by his clawed hands. Ell had to keep him away from the Hartgraces, but constant sleigh-drifting wasn't the answer.
"Guys, get to the others and help them out. Keep Macie and Mattie safe, I'll distract the goat."
"Ell-"
"Ell-"
"Go!"
The trio scrambled off the sleigh - Jaxx and Ed slipped down the chimney (after some haughtiness from the former) while Ell stayed behind, standing in front of where the goat was scrambling back up.
Maybe she could've checked in the back of the sleigh for the 'something else' Zanta mentioned, but there wasn't enough time: Ell had to play her cards right. As long as she didn't screw up or make him lose interest… It all felt like a huge mistake and second thoughts rose, but she had to try.
"Krampus. We need to talk. You have the answers I want to know."
Ell stifled a scream, holding her firm face as the creature stood in front of her.
Still. Better her in his way than her family.
He still smelled of the Richwells' fireplace and other awful things, forcing Ell to hold back the gagging in her throat. He was a whole three heads taller than her when he stood straight, dressed in a tattered and charred red tunic with a cord of long chains and sleigh bells tied at the waist. There was the hooded cape at his shoulders, but she could now see it was buttoned by a green jewel, had greyed fur on the edge of the hood and spotted the various tears, holes and burns on the end of the deep red fabric.
His legs were the most goat-like part about him, what with the fur and hooves for feet. The (now-burnt) goat fur covered his whole body, including the back of his clawed hands and almost his entire face.
Good god, was that face fucking disgusting .
Krampus had a more humanoid head (apart from the fur covering it), but he had curving upward horns of a Spanish bull, pointed elven ears and no nose, instead having small holes in his face that weren't unlike a human skull.
What startled Ell the most were his eyes.
His right eye was clearly supposed to be human, but his left side wasn't . Instead, that area of his face had no skin, no fur, just his open skull with a small, piercing red glow in the centre of the eye socket.
He looked totally demonic.
"Answers?" He crooned, "What kind of answers are you after? Answers as to how I'll kill and eat your relatives before I take over the country?"
Yikes.
"No," She swallowed, "Just… What's your deal? Why hate the holidays so much? Why eat a whole bunch of people?"
"First of all, Christmas is what I'm after, not-!"
"You sure? My cousins probably channelled the Maccabees when they impaled your minions with hanukkiahs earlier and they're seven years old. Look, if you're trying so hard to ruin the holidays for everyone, you can't stay stuck on Christmas. Even if it is what the press is putting your nickname through. If you win, everyone else with their holidays will just gang up and beat you to a pulp."
Dumbass.
Krampus's eyes widened for a moment, but he regained his composure and grinned wickedly, flashing his sharp teeth.
"Well. We're lucky to have the time to talk, girl. I need to start from the beginning, shan't I?"
"The forests I was summoned into in 1003, I believe, were very different to the ones you may be used to, child. They were dark, thick and full of the blackness: they drew the cultists to me. Much like the ones that brought me back here. Anywho, the ones from 1003 wanted me to punish all those children who were… Well, you know.
"As always, anyone who asks something of someone like me always comes at a price. But! I was interrupted in the process of my demands being listed!
"An upstart with red cloaks, white furs and that stupid beard - he barged in and brought the ritual to such an unfortunately dramatic end! Overturned the candles to smoke, broke the summoning circle to pieces and forced me to bow to him! Under the name of his patron saint or whatever the hell it was!
"Nikolas, that prick - he cast me back to, ah, where I came from… But I swore vengeance against him for ruining all the fun. So I returned in the sunrise of the new day when one of those nice little cultists sacrificed their child to me, just to finish where we left off… But the red bastard! Ooh he came prepared!
"Nineteen - or was it twenty? Ah, screw it, I'll round and call it twenty - it was twenty days and nights of war in the village - my dark, illustrious powers against his nearly impervious defences, damn them! Alas, on the last day which turned to night, Nikolas had the upper hand. I threw everything I had at him until it was near midnight - where we were brawling on his flying sleigh, close-quarters combat from the likes I haven't seen since! But the sleigh sent us out from the lands of those Germanic people and into forests unfamiliar. To us, that is. You, girl, can clearly see where we landed - you call this land home.
"It was only a minute until the Germanic midnight when Nikolas defeated me at long last - but I had the last laugh. You know what I did, child? Aha! Ahahahhahaaaa! I cursed him! I cursed him to never fully die when his time came, to feast after those he would punish and never know true peace until my return come the next millennium and century ahead, which has finally arrived!"
Zanta.
Ell wished she had a shotgun to blast Krampus in his stupid face, but alas...
"Cool backstory, still murder," she sighed, hopefully sounding bored despite her internal screaming, "Why eat a bunch of people to seek attention and wreak havoc?"
"Don't you see, girl?! I know very well that Nikolas is still here in this country - I can feeeel it! You have his sleigh even! And I will make him bow to me after all this time of perfect waiting, and then torture him furthermore for what he's done!"
"What about all those people you ate? Do you realise what fucking awful thing you've done, eating all those decent guardians and parents of those kids?! And what about the ones who-"
"Don't be fooled girl! They were the next best thing ! Every child across this city and this country has gotten too clever for their own good! The only reason I resorted to their guardians was that they were easier to capture and feast on, especially for tonight - how the Hell those brats knew to hide and use holy water guns on me I don't know, but I would've taken a child sooner hadn't they been so smart! At least…" He turned back to her with a wicked smile, "I would've tried again tonight had it not been for you finding my old friend Nikolas."
Ell's fists clenched tight.
"Why the fuck are you after my family now?"
"Oh, I know old Nicky wouldn't be fond of certain tribes unless he was indebted to them - happened before in our little war, did you know? I would target you directly, but you and your siblings aren't young enough for me to feast on and return to full strength! Fortunately, your relatives are! All of you would suffer first to begin his torture! Can you imagine? Watching the ones you had to repay die before your eyes before your sworn enemy tortures you forever! Ahahaha! Ahahahahahahahahaa!"
Enough.
THWUMP.
"Ahahaha- Argh! My knees!"
THWAP.
Crack!
Ouch , did she really break something with that punch to his face? Or did she break his face?
"How DARE you leave me HANGING on the edge of my glee for this?!"
Literally, Ell groaned - off the roof. So much for him earning the Christmastime Killer title.
"Oh, you aren't getting back up so quick, you baby-eating bitch!"
STOMP.
"D'aaargh!"
She left him dangling with one hand and ran to the sleigh, ready to hop in and check the back for Zanta's 'something else' - then she noticed how close the chimney was from Krampus…
Hmm. She couldn't fight him forever, but maybe…
Taking the reins of the deer, she led the sleigh behind the chimney with one hand and made a call with the other.
"Jaxx? I'm going to need Ed's help on this - wait, he's unavailable now? Then who's got the cannon? ...Well, then that's fine. He is one of the only competent guys of the Hartgraces at the moment- yeah, it's clear because he's adopted. But he has to hurry!"
Coming up with insults to Krampus as he climbed back up was spectacularly easy right out the gate. It made the fighting and dodging easier to focus on.
"Fuck you, goat-man! You wanna murder my family you're gonna have to eat me! No wonder Zanta beat your ass, you're more shit-stuffed than twelve turkeys!"
THWACK!
"Yaaaaargh! I am more than a goat!"
"I disrespect your holiday parades, cults and plans, goat-man! Like I said, you're gonna have to eat me yourself! At least a real goat has a lot more guts trying to bite me than you, you self-pissed baby-eating bitch! Ahh!"
SWOOSH!
"Missed, you pig-blooded Selucid pussy! You fucking gave up after we defended the Richwells, is that gonna be the case for everyone else?! Are we gonna kick your ass a bajillion times away from our relatives until you have us alone to fight?!"
"Only because they don't know to arm themselves in advance, the fools!"
SWIPE!
"What's the matter, dickhead? Can't win a fight against a simple human after all these years being defeated? By Santa Claus himself?"
"My only abilities extend to summoning and directing minions, but once I get my full powers back, I WILL END YOU, FOOLISH MORTAL!"
"Look at the way I dodge and punch you, goat-man, I disrespect your entire fucking existence!"
"YOU CERTAINLY WON'T BE AROUND TO FOREVER DEFEND YOUR FAMILY!"
"Can you hear me, asshole? I might meet my end, but it won't be at your badly manicured hands - you will suck the asses of my ancestors once I'm done with you! We will wipe ANY trace of your physical existence off this planet! By the way - ahh!"
SWISH!
"Me and my family are gonna get parades and holidays in our honour! Every child in this country will tell tales of US! You wanna get me AND the sleigh? COME AT ME YOU PIECE OF ROTTING GINGERBREAD CHRISTMAS CAKE!"
"YIIIIIEEEEEAAAAAAAARGH!"
"NOW!"
Schreeeak-BOOM!
A solid blast of Christmas-coloured light shot up the chimney and into Krampus, sending him flying through the air and into a thick snow pile just in the front yard.
"Did I get him?" An eager Finnish-British accent chirped up the chimney.
"Hell fucking yeah you did Derek!" Ell cheered back down before sighing in relief, "I'll meet you at the door with the sleigh! Just keep an eye out though, the goat is somewhere out in the front yard snow!"
"Ell, you missed all the fun down here!" The twenty-three-year-old Finnish Hartgrace grinned at his adoptive cousin, proudly carrying the candy-cannon, "We killed SO many little bastards!"
"Yeah, but she kept the main bastard on the roof so our asses wouldn't be eaten alive," Jaxx pointed out, surprise-hugging his sister before climbing into his side of the sleigh, Ell following after, "If it weren't for her, we'd all be very fucking dead by now."
"Could you kids cull the swearing?" Uncle Matthew sighed, holding his police gun in one hand and a fireplace poker with impaled dark pixies in the other, "It's starting to get on my nerves."
"We're not children, Matthew."
"Derek, I've been saying it's okay to call me dad for seven years now. Well, since you three helped us made it clear that the goat-man isn't allowed here, what does it mean for the Richwells and Lawsons? I know we're not in much contact aside from work, the Lawsons especially since Thor quit the force, but..."
"Already dealt with the Richwells," Jaxx shrugged, but Ell noticed he didn't sound so egotistic as before, "Was hell though. Amy's got her baby early, but safe and sound now."
"We still have the Lawsons to look out for though," Ed warned as he took back the candy-cannon from Derek and hopped back into the sleigh, "And we can't waste time. Andrea's given them a heads-up already, so it might help a little."
Ell glanced at her other adoptive cousin on her phone, smiling with a thumbs-up.
"Ell, are we gonna go?"
"Right. Auntie Sophia's okay? Mattie and Macie?"
"Safe and sound," Andrea reassured them, "Now you better get going - or that goat might-"
"Say no more, Andy!" Ell grinned.
WHIP-CRACK!
You certainly won't be around to forever defend your family.
Ell tried to hide her shivering at the thought, gripping the reins tighter. She'd faced Krampus in battle and won , but… Those words didn't leave her head.
She was almost always on the front line of so many things: for her siblings, cousins and school friends - joking or serious. She was the one who stood up to her dad about leaving when Jaxx and Ed couldn't do it on their own.
She made a personal life for herself, sure, but after mum, Ell had become the next best thing for a parental figure. Not that she really worried about it, she would absolutely drop everything to help out her siblings. In her mind, when the time came, she would defend Cora and Laurie's right to leave the delivery business. It'd be tough, there'd be a fight, it'd be heartbreaking, yeah…
But when she left for uni, she'd left them . Both sides were too busy at once, or if one side was open for an in-person catch-up, the other wasn't.
Could there ever be a way out?
"I see 'im…"
"Ed?"
Schreeeak-BOOM!
"Perfect shot! Wait a minute…"
"Ed?!"
"Holy crap he got back up! Full speed ahead Ell, that goat can't beat us!"
WHIP-CRACK!
The race was on.