Disclaimer: I do not own SnK either the manga or the anime. I also do not own the events in the No Regrets storyline either. Anything original is my own.
Chapter Eight: One of the Good Ones
A few years prior, the year 844…
"And I flew through the air even longer than before! You shoulda' been there! Wow, you woulda' definitely cheered for me. That Sairam guy is a real pain in the ass. Didn't even crack a smile."
"Hah," Maia laughs with Isabel as the woman recounts yesterday's training with animated hand gestures. "Sairam is...very serious. But he's good people, Isabel. Just, ah, not very open to humor."
Isabel grumbles something incoherent before grabbing eagerly at Breya's reins. "Well, he sure ruined my mood. Hey, d'ya think I can take Breya to the wooden Titan course one'a these days? I wanna see if I can do that spin move while attacking!"
Maia shrugs and deftly lifts herself up onto her trusty horse Iris, a beautiful tan dappled mare. "I don't see why not. But first, let's practice some of the bigger jumps, okay? Titan Territory is no joke. If Breya bucks or has to gallop on uneven terrain, I want to make sure you can handle it."
"Bucks?" Isabel pales slightly. "She would throw me off?"
Maia encourages the redhead to lead Breya alongside her and Iris. She shakes her head, "Not on purpose. They aren't malicious by nature. Horses are incredibly loyal, and Breya here has taken a special liking to you. She would do it to try to save you, so she doesn't crush you if she's going to fall."
"Yikes." Isabel grips the reins a little tighter and then nods determinedly. "Okay. Let's do this!"
A while later, the two sit underneath a tree together while Breya and Iris lazily graze in the enclosure. Isabel had quickly learned to control Breya during more ambitious jumps and maneuvers, just as Maia had guessed she would. Truly, the girl is an exceptionally fast learner. Maia is continuously impressed by her.
A bird flies overhead and catches Isabel's attention.
"Oh! Look!" She shoots an arm upward to point at the soaring creature. "I wonder if that's the one I saved."
At Maia's questioning look a huge smile plasters itself across Isabel's lips. She tells the veterinarian about the time she found a wounded bird in the Underground. Whenever she speaks she is overly animated, her entire body taking on the storytelling. For someone who grew up below ground, Isabel is extraordinarily lively and bright.
"It had gotten trapped down there somehow. Maybe flew down a grate or somethin'," she shrugs, "but I jus' couldn't let it die!"
So Isabel had clutched the animal to her chest and decided to set it free topside. Just because she herself couldn't be free, she tells Maia, didn't mean a helpless and innocent bird, who already knew what the Sun felt like, couldn't go back to where it belonged.
"Only problem was that those scumbags charge money to go above ground."
Maia starts, her body jerking, and rears her head to look at her companion, "What? You have to pay to come up here?"
Isabel nods, "Yeah, and even if ya do have enough money, you can't get very far without papers. You'd be thrown right back down into the dark faster than big bro can swing a blade."
How could anyone charge another human being like that? Charge them for trying to feel warmth? To see the Sun? Feel fresh, moving air? It baffles Maia as she sits there listening with rapt attention to the younger woman weaving her tale of finding a little bird in the dark streets of the Underground City. How much she didn't and still doesn't know about the things those three had to go through down there, what anyone down there still has to go through. How naive was she? Honestly. Maia shakes her head. So many things she takes for granted - clean water, showers, three meals a day, a warm bed - while people literally live underneath the ground in dim, dark, and dank living spaces, if living can even be a term applied in this situation.
"I...I never knew," Maia hangs her head, ashamed.
Isabel allows her eyes to soften slightly. She may not fully trust this woman with impossibly shiny hair and glowing amber eyes, but she can tell Maia is genuine. If there was anyone topside besides the guys with whom Isabel wouldn't mind being stuck, it's Maia. When Isabel reveals pieces of what life was like underground, she is always surprised to see Maia listening carefully, her pretty face devoid of the judgment Isabel so often sees on the faces of others whenever she speaks. She guesses it is because Maia feels a large amount of guilt, though Isabel can't imagine why. It's not like it was her fault they grew up differently.
"It's okay," Isabel shrugs, looks over at Maia slyly but finds the veterinarian looking down at the ground. "We're easy to forget down there."
"Oh!" Maia looks alarmed, snaps her head up, throws her hands out and shakes them furiously. "I didn't mean - I was just -"
Isabel nearly cackles, "Easy, horse lady," her voice is bright and giggly and vibrant, "I'm just teasin' ya! Yer not like the rest of them, ya know?"
"Hmm," Maia hums, calming down. She absentmindedly picks at a few blades of grass by her side. "I don't know about that."
"I do," Isabel nods firmly. "Yer one of the good ones. I can tell. Yer like the Sun itself. Bright as hell and warm. Anyway," she continues on, barely even taking a breath, switching subjects effortlessly, "So I've got the little bird in my arms and I'm basically crushin' the poor thing against my stomach and then I…"
Maia half heartedly listens to her for the next few moments. She is busy replaying what Isabel has just said to her.
Yer one of the good ones. I can tell.
Isabel, Furlan, and especially Levi get along with exactly zero others in the Scouts. Maia's comrades keep those three at arms length and only interact with them when necessary. Besides Hange, who is afraid of no one, it seems, only when it is completely unavoidable will another corps member even look at them straight in their eyes. Maia, on the other hand, has to be with them during specified training times. She is responsible for overseeing all riding training and advises every recruit on how to care for his or her horse. It's a one on one experience where she can't avoid someone even if she wanted to.
Each squad is assigned either a veterinarian or a scout specifically trained to stable horses or bring extra along with them during scouting expeditions. The corps only has a budget for five equine veterinarians, so training stablehands became a necessity. Usually, these members have their own place in Erwin's formation and memorize their specific squad's location, looking for flares that signal distress. Then, they can fan out to deliver needed supplies, back up, or emergency mounts. There are outings where the equestrian aid stays with their squad, for longer durations outside of the Walls, for example, but in the hierarchy of the Survey Corps, it is not always necessary that they be there.
Maia's position in the regiment, a high ranking veterinarian, second only to a man named Itago who holds the rank of lead animal doctor, places a lot of responsibility on her shoulders. There had been others higher ranked than her before, but supply positions are dangerous, and those above her had unfortunately been killed outside the Walls. The most recent loss was during their last expedition. She tries not to think of her having a high position as being a fluke. She mustn't allow herself to think she isn't qualified. If the recruits aren't trained well enough on horseback…
She shakes her head. There is no use entertaining such a notion. She is confident in her skills, has worked hard to hone her craft for most of her life. The horses trust her implicitly, something a few in the regiment, almost everyone in the lousy Military Police, and even some Garrison members find strange and suspicious. But it has been that way for as long as she can remember, that unwavering loyalty she is somehow able to garner from horses. It's why she tries so hard to pick the perfect horse for each member. A person's mount must be compatible with their own personality. In that same vein, it is important for Maia to get to know her comrades more personally so that she can give them the best possible match. It's like Hange and the medical staff. Maia thinks her job is quite similar in that regard.
She doesn't know if she's one of the good ones as Isabel has just told her, but she likes to think that she has, over the years, developed a habit of looking past a person's reputation and the rumors that surround them. Zoe Hange, for example, was ridiculed during their training years over her passion for and interest in titans. Maia chose to be her bunkmate when they were cadets and soon learned there was more to the soldier than loud, passionate shrieks about Titans and a strange love for science, though there were those things in abundance. With Isabel it had been no different. Furlan, even, seems to be slowly coming around to being in Maia's presence. She has no hope of ever becoming friends with the man, but she thinks they are on their way to becoming good acquaintances, at the very least.
"Levi and Furlan saved me that day. Big bro nearly sliced that guy in half! It was wild! He didn't have ta do it, ya know, protect me 'n all. He didn't even have ta let me stay with them, but he did. He's great," Isabel sighs with obvious affection for the standoffish former thug, "even if he is kinda strict."
Maia realizes she missed a lot of Isabel's story but she focuses in on one thing in particular. "Big bro? You've said that a few times now. Do you mean...are you referring to Levi?"
"Well duh," Isabel answers as if it's so totally obvious, "who else would I be talkin' 'bout?"
"Um," Maia pauses and looks around, "literally anyone else?"
Isabel laughs and it crinkles her eyes, causes her to throw her head back. She looks so carefree when she laughs, like all of the bad things in her life never happened to her. "Levi is really not so bad once you get used to him. Hey! It's kinda funny," she starts laughing again, "you two are complete opposites. He's dark and cold and you're bright and warm! Huh," she crosses her arms and takes on a pensive expression, like this is something worth pondering over, "well would'ya look at that?"
Maia simply shakes her head at the girl's antics.
Yer like the Sun itself. Bright as hell and warm.
Such a compliment coming from someone who has only just recently found out what the Sun is like.
"What are you two idiots talking about?"
Maia's heart nearly bursts out of her chest in surprise. She hadn't even heard him walking up! Her hand comes up automatically to the base of her throat, feeling around for her pulse.
Gods, he's silent on his feet.
And rude.
"Big bro!" Isabel yells louder than necessary, "We were actually talking about you!"
Levi stands there in the shade of the tree looking anything but amused. The shadows from the Sun filtering through the tree leaves highlight the sharp angles of his face. He makes a sound from behind his teeth, unimpressed.
"Tch."
Isabel blinks and swivels her head between the two of them. Maia has one golden eyebrow raised in a high arch above her eye as if daring Levi to say something else. Levi's arms are crossed over his chest, his legs spread slightly. Maia knows it is meant to intimidate her, but she is friends Mike Zacharius. That pose has long since stopped being effective.
"Are you gonna be okay alone?"
Levi's eyes slant over to Isabel and he gives her a look that makes it seem like he has just smelled something rotten. "Why are you worrying about me?"
Isabel stands and brushes specks of dirt from her pants. She gives a laugh, again throwing her head back. When she laughs she gives it everything she has, it seems. "Oh, big bro, I wasn't talking to you."
Levi is momentarily taken aback. Isabel was talking to the horse lover? Since when did she care about someone, anyone, in the Scouts? Had this woman managed to enchant Isabel somehow? Maia too is staring wide eyed at Isabel. The younger woman merely shrugs.
"If he kills you, who is going to take Breya out for me?"
It takes Maia only a few seconds to realize Isabel is at least partially joking with her. A smile forms on her lips, the kind that's warm and shows teeth and is radiant. Isabel thinks her comparison from earlier was spot on. Maia is like the Sun.
"I think Breya would willingly come to you at this point, but I appreciate your worry, Isabel."
"Anytime, horse lady." She gives a mock salute to both of them before quite literally frolicking away. They hear her screeching Furlan's name as she runs down the grassy hill towards the barracks.
"She's quite the character," Maia's face is still warm, open, inviting, and it makes Levi scowl harder. He ignores her and begins walking towards the stables. Maia rolls her eyes and does a small skip to keep up with his long strides.
"Are you not going to speak to me this entire session?"
Silence again.
Maia sighs and switches tactics.
"Have you ridden a horse before?"
He cuts her a look that makes her feel like a worm before lifting one corner of his lips upwards. It's not a smirk, it's a sneer.
"What do you think, horse woman?"
Maia purses her lips. The nickname isn't as endearing coming from Levi. "Well, I wouldn't be asking you if I had any clue, now would I?"
She huffs when he merely scowls deeper and remains silent. "Watch it, if you scowl like that for too long your handsome face will get stuck that way."
Maia is too busy thinking of which horse would best suit Levi's obviously winning personality that she misses his eyes widen only infinitesimally. She just called him handsome. The audacity of this woman, honestly. What did she take him for? Some cheap fuck? A depraved Underground degenerate who is desperate for a woman's touch? Tch. He internally scoffs and outwardly rolls his eyes again, crosses his arms once more for good measure. Appear as closed off as possible. That's it. Don't let these Survey Corps scumbags get into your head. The three of them had been through enough already.
Levi spends the next few moments assessing the horse lover Maia through the calculating slits his eyes have shaped themselves into. He'd already noted her height the first time she approached their table a few days ago - the night when Isabel had practically shrieked her name across the entire fucking mess hall to get her attention. Maia is a tiny thing, all curves and muscle and nimble movements like most of the other women he's seen around the compound. The scouts all take pride in their training regimen and he can't find it in himself to fault them for it. If he willingly signed up to risk his ass against giant, man-eating nightmares then he supposes he might have a bit of pride for it too.
But, as it stands, his entire goddamn head had been forced into a putrescent puddle of filth by that absolute dog Mike Zacharius, so, well, he wasn't exactly willing to be here at all.
Maia turns to ask him a question and he realizes he has been staring too long and is now caught. Rather than blush like a fucking schoolgirl he keeps staring at her, daring her to look away first. His cheeks remain unblemished, years and years of living in the dark have taught him how to keep his face devoid of any emotion, any sign of change. His skin is smooth and even, like porcelain.
He looks right into her eyes. Her big, warm, amber colored eyes.
What the fuck?
Who has eyes that warm? Was she some sort of test subject for one of Shitty Glasses' experiments? Was it normal to be this vibrant and alive? Maia practically radiates life and has this strange calming effect that Levi would rather stab his own eye out over than admit out loud what it is.
Goddamn science experiment. No one can make someone feel safe.
...Can they?
Maia clears her throat. "As riveting as this staring contest is, I'm going to go ahead and fold. You win, if it means so much to you. And, from that little display of testosterone, I think I know exactly which horse will suit you best."
She walks over towards the end of the horse stalls and Levi curses under his breath that his legs have automatically started following her without him telling them to. Maybe she is an enchantress. Although, he would be a liar if he said he wasn't intrigued by the horses.
Maia extends her arm towards the very last stall and Levi slowly peers in. Standing there is a magnificent horse. Even Levi can appreciate the splendor that is this animal. He is a tall, strong, colossus of a beast. A deep brown coat that is nearly black shines even in the dim light of the stall. As Maia opens the gate and leads the horse out, the Sun beams down against his coat and causes a brilliant coppery glow to surround him. Levi admits to himself that Maia knows how to pick a horse and he can also admit that he was impressed watching her lead the horse without reins. His pride allows him some concessions. He knows very little about horses, but these big behemoth creatures certainly look like they don't have any reason to listen to shitty humans. Somehow, though, they listen to her. All of them.
"Do you like him?" Her voice is soft, gentle as she pats down along the horse's strong neck. Levi can't tell if she is asking him or the horse. The animal makes an appreciative sound and huffs out its big lips against her forehead.
Did...did that horse just kiss her?
"I think he likes you," Levi cannot manage to take the edge off his voice, but he also cannot be bothered to give a shit.
Maia sighs and shoves the horse's reins into Levi's chest. A shock of heat explodes across his skin and he physically jolts backwards an inch.
"The horse lover jokes are getting old now. You need new material."
"Tch," is all Levi can express, and, with another deep sigh, Maia begins showing him the very basics of how to care for a horse.
"Yeah, yeah," a while later Levi drops the bucket of feed he is holding onto the ground, "don't stablehands do this? Just show me how to ride this thing."
He isn't interested in this. He doesn't exactly like not knowing how to expertly ride this goddamn animal. Levi feels his patience wearing thin.
"Okay, first of all," the horse handler is now visibly less than pleased with him and his entire existence, it seems, "he's a horse, not a thing. And second, you need to learn how to care for him before he will even attempt to care for you. I didn't have to do this with Isabel or Furlan but with you it's clear that you won't respect him right away and you need to. Horses aren't animals you can just tame and conquer, Levi."
Her gaze switches up to the horse and her entire body softens. She smiles, pets his mane lovingly. "They are loyal companions," she whispers out in a soothing tone, "affectionate, strong, capable. They're the best Scouts out there, honestly. Better than any of us. They aren't the enemies of the Titans, have no reason to enter into that absolute slaughter, and yet," her smile becomes less bright, more crest-fallen, and she shakes her head, "they follow us blindly out there. Into that hell. To help us...do what?" She shrugs, saddened, "Come up short every time?"
A humorless laugh escapes her as she turns back to Levi.
"We breed them just so we can try to outrun Death."
At this point he is standing uselessly to the side, effectively chagrined. This woman didn't drag his damn face through that filthy mud puddle in the Underground. She had nothing to do with his capture or the punishment he and his friends were threatened with. She genuinely wants to help him, and that's something he is so unfamiliar with that he doesn't even know how to begin to accept it. All she wants to do is teach him how to be kind to a fucking horse so that when they go outside of the Walls he doesn't get devoured by giant creatures set on annihilating all of humanity.
And damn it if he doesn't feel bad as all hell now.
"Look," she continues before he can even think of saying something, "you don't have to trust me. Hell, you don't even have to like me. But you have to at least trust this horse. Out there...bad things happen. I know awful things happened down there. I know that they did. I know you three had a rough go of it. But, goddamnit, Levi, you haven't seen what…"
Her eyes begin to well up and Levi pales.
Please do not fucking cry right now in this horse stall surrounded by horse shit and this gigantic animal that definitely hates me and loves you.
"I hope you never see it," her smile is watery, but it's back and to hell with it all it's still impossibly warm and kind and safe, "but…I know that's just wishful thinking."
Levi shuffles his feet awkwardly, tries not to bump into the goddamn horse, and sighs.
"Well," he begins finally and laments that his voice comes out rougher than he had wanted, "we're going out there whether you like it or not, so I," he pauses, struggles through what he wants to say next, "appreciate that you've chosen a decent horse for me."
Maia's shoulders deflate a little and Levi tries not to let it bother him. Why the hell should he care either way? When has he ever cared either way? She might be trying, genuinely trying to help him survive, but it's only ever been just the three of them, in his mind. His entire time topside has been all about those two and himself. He and Isabel and Furlan just need to survive long enough to get those damn papers, kill Erwin, and gain their freedom. And this woman is making it very hard to not care. Isabel was right. Maia is a good one. And he hates that.
"He's better than decent," she allows the animal to step out of the stall for real this time, "he's yours."
The horse walks out of the stall with a look on his face that says the only reason he isn't kicking Levi's front teeth in is because Maia won't allow it.
She then instructs him how to mount the horse, handle the saddle's pommel, issue commands, turn, brace, stop, pivot, switch gates, the works. Her instructions are clear, her methods gentle but strictly no-nonsense. He marvels at how she has managed to teach him so much during just this one session. Well, time was of the essence, he supposed. But Maia cares more about safety and forming bonds than anyone he may have ever met in his life, and he knows she would never dare let him outside those Walls if this horse didn't trust him and vice versa. Levi has to admit, he is feeling pretty bonded to this horse already, as strange as it all is. Again, he marvels at her ability to read a person and know exactly what kind of companion they need.
"Okay," after a few more rounds and repetitions, the session is over, "that's it for the morning. Afternoon meal is going to be served soon and you'll need to recharge before hand-to-hand training."
"Tch," Levi rolls his eyes, still atop his horse, "I doubt I'll be challenged there."
Maia quirks a brow but says nothing. He just offered something up on his own. She isn't about to alert him to that fact, but she'll keep that with her. This was certainly progress, albeit miniscule.
"So," Levi motions to the horse, "Do I finally get to know this brute's name?"
Maia has intentionally held off on telling Levi his name, stating that the bond is more important. An attachment had to develop and then she could reveal his name to him. For some reason he didn't think that was entirely true but decided against making her feel worse than he already had by calling her out on it.
"We're more than just our name, Levi," she had said to him. It stirred something deep inside of him that he didn't much care to feel. It was something that hadn't been awake for a very long time. He had nearly doubled over from the force of it, but maintained his composure somehow.
How did she know how to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time?
Her smile is devious now, though, and he has a horrible feeling he is not going to like exactly what she says at exactly this moment.
"His name," she gives the horse a light tap somewhere on his hind leg and makes a short series of clicks with her mouth, "is Gilbert."
The horse, Gilbert, whinnies happily and charges into a full on gallop across the enclosure that has Levi swearing out loud and grasping at the reins frantically, though he had already been gripping them loosely to begin with.
"Are you serious? Gilbert?! What the fu-" his curse is carried off on the wind.
Maia's laughter peels out across the warm breeze and makes that awful, ancient feeling well up in his stomach again. Or maybe that is just nausea. Or anger. Or disgust at this goddamn mammoth of a horse who looks like a warrior and is now his and is named Gilbert.
But Levi does know one thing.
Although her face is obnoxiously pleasant and her hands ridiculously gentle and her eyes impossibly warm...
...although she doesn't back down from his stares and instead talks back...
...although she gave him a fucking horse named Gilbert…
Maia is damn good at taming wild horses.
A/N: Full disclosure I rewrote this chapter six times and I still don't fully like it for some reason. But I decided, screw it, I need to post it because staring at it and wondering why I have that weird "this is terrible" feeling in my stomach is just not going to solve any of my problems. This was so difficult to write and it's the longest chapter to date. The first one on one time with Levi and Maia is so pivotal in my mind and I wanted to do it right - not make it overly sappy, overly cruel, overly campy and overdone and unrealistic, but HOT DAMN is young Levi a hard character to write. I think the cool thing about him is that he is so multi-faceted that an author can really take him in any direction, but that's also kind of a curse too. In my opinion, there's an inherent softness inside of him, waaaaaaay deeeeeep down inside of him, and that's sort of what Maia's actions cause him to tap into. It's something we see bits and pieces of in the present day chapters. But I didn't want Maia to do one thing and for Levi to explode into a sopping puddle of heart eyes. That would just be terribly un-Levi, you know?
I don't know, this chapter was such a bear for me, you guys. What did you think? The first thing I thought when I sat down to write this chapter was "the horse must have a silly name" so I gave Levi a horse named Gilbert and that made me laugh and not hate this chapter that much. Ah, well, such is life. Leave a review to let me know how you're liking the story so far!
Also, does the line "How did she know how to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time?" make anyone else immediately starting singing "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon? Classic.
Thank you to all who have favorited, reviewed, and followed! You mean THE WORLD to me! xx