I've busted bones, broken stones, looked the devil in the eye

I hope he's going to break these chains, oh yeah

The devil's going to make me a free man

The devil's going to set me free

The devil's going to make me a free man

The devil's going to set me free

-Broken Bones, Kaleo

…

James threw a jumper over to Lily while he rummaged in his chifforobe for trousers. They dressed in silence, and James experienced a rush of emotional vertigo at the sudden turn of events. He tried not to watch as Lily slipped on a pair of dungarees over his favourite jumper; his mind reeling with what he had said, had almost said.

And guilt, too. Guilt at feeling this way when somebody was kidnapped, someone who so undeserving of their plight was taken and used for purposes not of their own. It made him sick to his stomach, and his eyes hardened as he considered the most likely assailants.

Another attack in Hogsmeade was terrifying, to strike so close to Dumbledore's stronghold was foolhardy, dangerous. There were so many opportunities to be discovered; a sliver of moonlight could turn the tables for a reliable physical description. The ranks of the Death Eaters were swelling, and James was frustrated, irate at the complete lack of news.

After Crouch had told them that the Ministry was restricting the media, James couldn't believe it. There was something to be said to inhibit the actions of fear mongers, but this was a war, and people needed to know the facts. Most importantly, James needed to hear about the resistance efforts, weren't there people fighting back? Taking to the streets? Where were the freedom fighters in the host of the enemy?

James started as Lily reached her arms around his torso and hugged him from behind. His expression softened, and he turned to face her with what he hoped to be a hopeful demeanour.

It was as if he was looking at a different person. Lily had dressed, her hair twisted into a loose plait and face clear of outstanding emotion. The lust he had felt for her five minutes before was absent, unaccounted for. There were more important things to worry about than whatever it was that they were these days.

"Whoever it was," James said. "Whoever was kidnapped if we know them or not, we're going to face it together, yeah?"

"All your mates know we're sleeping together," Lily said bluntly.

James rubbed a hand over his forehead. "That's a—fair assessment,"

"But we haven't," Lily said, her eyes trained on his. "Not actually, not like the way they think we have,"

"I don't think it matters," James said, looking nearly as uncomfortable as she felt. But was he imagining it? He thought he might've heard a faint tone of disappointment in her voice.

Lily slipped the strap of her dungarees further up her shoulder, and he unconsciously reached for her, brushing the curls away from her face. James touched her so often now; he had almost forgotten how precious it was, how important she had become to him. Lily looked shy in the small light of day, and he wished that they could always be as free with one another as they had been before. James wished he could kiss her in front of his mates without her shying away, hold her hand in the corridors where others could see. Was she ashamed? Was she ashamed of them together, in public? It was one thing to snog and claw each other's clothes off in private but in front of others?

He tried to push his age-old feelings of inadequacy behind. Lily loved him, didn't she? Wasn't the reason she began sleeping in his bed to stave off his nightmares? Didn't she stand up for him to his mates? And hadn't she stayed? Certainly, for much longer than he had expected her to. It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed his mind, the very idea that he loved her more than she loved him. But didn't she know how much he wanted her, how often he thought of her, how the sight of her knicker-less would fuel his daydreams for years to come, climbing on top of him like that? Didn't she know?

And now that he knew that she dressed that way for him? He was done for, stock and barrel. He loved her; God help him.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," James said, his expression set. "We're both consenting adults, who are both on the same page, ready to take things—"

"Take things…" she said, and he took a deep breath. Simultaneously wanting to seduce her without disappointing, but wasn't the moment gone? Taken away like a sheet in the wind, as if it had never existed? He felt silly, standing in front of her without a shirt, and he wished that she would come back and touch him as she had before. He reached into his chifforobe for a cardigan, and—had he imagining it? Had she watched as he did so?

"Yeah, to take things—"

"We should get out there," she said, and his heart sank. "They're waiting for us,"

"Okay," James said, and he opened the door for her only to have her walk past him without looking up.

The other Marauders were waiting in their Common Room in various states of dress. Remus looked tired, but much the same as he always did, Peter was slouched half-asleep in Lily's favourite armchair. Sirius was both clothed and pressed, his hair tousled and out of his face. He was smirking, and James rolled his eyes to feign the extent of his profound embarrassment.

"Took you long enough," Sirius said with a smile. He looked over to gauge Lupin's reaction, but he responded with a stony glare and crossed arms.

"It's hardly dawn," James said, pulling on a collared shirt and then a cardigan. Lily watched with a sort of delayed sense of time as James dressed, as he spoke to his mates. When his collar shifted, more than one love bite appeared red and agitated. Her breath caught, but his shirt settled, and the moment was lost.

"So sleeping with Evans, eh?"

"That's none of your business," James said shortly, trying not to follow her movements as Lily walked over to stand beside Remus. "Don't embarrass her,"

There was a tense silence, Sirius muffled a laugh into a cough after a swift elbow from Lupin. Peter looked lost, Sirius' leather jacket tossed over his jumper, but the seams were tight around the shoulders.

Lily crossed her arms and tried her damnedest not to look over to where James stood in front of his open bedroom door, looking as handsome and put together as she had ever seen him. She'd never tell him, but she liked his hair like this, mussed and uncombed. He looked more himself, more the boy and less the person he was trying to be but wasn't. "I'm assuming you woke us up for more than a chastisement," she said tartly, reaching down to pull on her chucks.

"The kidnapping, it was Frank Longbottom," Lupin said, and James looked over at her with wide eyes, hands frozen around his half-done tie.

"What?"

"How do you know?"

"His bed's empty," Sirius said, "a certain someone found it vacated and made a ruckus in the Common Room,"

"Who?"

"Alice," Peter said blushing. "She was yelling and everything. Woke me up,"

"Him? He and—and her?" James said, his face wide and shocked. "They're together?"

"I didn't know," she said, sitting down hard on the sofa, her eyes wide and shocked. "She never said,"

"Course she did," Sirius said, "she was as black and white as you please if you paid attention."

"Where are the rest of the girls?"

"We thought we'd find you first," Lupin said. "They're in Gryffindor Tower; Mars left to get McGonagall,"

"Off we go then," James said, perhaps louder than intended. Sirius shrugged and opened the door for his friends.

…

When they arrived, Gryffindor tower was deserted. The fires had been stoked, but the air was cold and still, and Lily shivered despite James' jumper. The soft wool smelled like him, and Lily tried to push back her irritation at her behaviour. She was still using him to her advantage, but she didn't quite know how to rid herself of him; he loved her, she was sure of it. But was this obsession love? Were these feelings of inadequacy matched and defeated when she slept in his arms, in his bed? Did she think that she was worth more, entitled to his happiness if she stayed with him?

Where did that leave her? Was she using James to avoid her feelings about Petunia? About Severus? Was that all James was to her? She hated the thought that it could be true, that her feelings towards him were a cover-up, a falsehood. But were they? Could she lie to herself about how she felt about him, about any of this? A war was coming, that much was sure, and for God's sake, Frank was missing. There was no room for sentimentality when her friends needed her.

Alice appeared from the staircase—she was dishevelled, her big brown eyes brimming with tears. Lily looked up, and her heart broke. Without consideration for anything else, Lily ran to her.

"Darling, what happened?" Lily asked, pulling her friend into her arms.

"Frank is—he's, he's gone!"

"Oh, Alice," Lily said, rubbing her back consolingly. But Alice was shaking, and her breath began turning hysterical. With more strength of mind than she thought she had, Lily led her friend past the stares of her fellow Gryffindors into her old dormitory. Alice took her hand when she offered it, and when Lily sat down on the edge of her old bed, Alice slumped down beside her.

"I'm so sorry," Lily said, and Alice sniffed, slumping against her shoulder. Lily didn't expect her friend to respond. Alice was perhaps more open with her feelings than the other girls in her old dormitory. Still, blatant love confessions were outside of the norm. Lily wanted Alice to know that she was there for her, but her own tangled thoughts made it difficult to be fully present. So she maintained her silence in the hopes that Alice would fill it.

"It was like—like everything was fine one minute," Alice said, her foot tapping insistently. Lily nodded, looking across the room but listening with all her might. "We had agreed to meet in that abandoned Charms classroom since all his mates were busy, and I came, and—and he wasn't there! I was panicking, did he not want me after all? Was all of it a ruse? I didn't know what to think, so I came—I came back here to see if he had left, and he was gone!"

"Did his dorm mates see anything?" Lily asked.

"No, they didn't see anything! I even asked Robin to see if she knew anything, but she was still upset 'cause Frank had just broken it off with her—"

"They broke up?"

"Does it matter?" Alice said through sobs, leaning forward on her palms. "He's missing!"

"Mars is getting McGonagall; we're gonna find him, alright?" Lily said, noticing James and the rest at the door for the first time. "Just like we found Amelia,"

"After they hurt her!"

"Frank's tough," James said, and Alice started, turning towards his voice. "We'll find him; he'll just have to hold on until we do,"

Alice looked up and sniffed, wiping her nose and steadying her breath. "You're right," she said, hiccoughing as she stood and wiped her eyes. "Let's find Mary, see if she or Tony have any clues. They—they seemed to know what they were doing last time,"

"I already found them," Sirius said, pointing his thumb to the left. "They're waiting in the Common Room,"

"Okay," Alice said, and Lily took her hand consolingly. Lily's mind swam with confusion, and not quite panic but something close to it. If students were going missing, being kidnapped, was Hogwarts going to reopen in the New Year? What if they couldn't find him? What if there was no happy ending waiting for Frank at the end of all of this? It had already been hours, was there any hope left for him?

She tried to push back the guilt that one of her best friends had been seeing somebody, and she had no idea. She felt guilty for not being there for her friends, for being occupied with other things and not seeing the facts right in front of her. Alice sniffed, and Lily offered her James' handkerchief from the pocket of her cardigan, which she took gratefully before leaving her old dormitory behind.

…

Sirius walked out of the girls' dormitory before the rest of them, reaffirming that the jinx they had placed against the stairs upon entry was still in place. Alice was still sniffling, but Sirius' gaze was torn between Lily and James, fixated on the clasped hands between them. He still wasn't entirely sure what he and the others had walked in on that morning, nor was he wholly convinced on their compatibility even with what Lily had told him. It all felt so unlike James, staying with one girl, living with her, loving her, it felt outside of his personality. He was a flirt, a tease, a good time and a best mate. He wasn't sure what to make of James Potter the boyfriend. Nor was he sure on the James Potter who had chosen to live with Evans over him, especially now that they weren't under any direction to do so.

Mary and Tony were there, dressed and alert, and both stood as Sirius and the others came down the staircase together. McGonagall was there as well, and Marlene clambered through the portrait hole after her. The few Gryffindors assembled stopped what they were doing to look up, their gaze torn between the unusual sight of their Head of House in the Common Room and the still sniffling Alice.

"Is it true, professor?" Lily said.

McGonagall nodded solemnly, and Sirius was bemused at the sight of his professor in a tartan dressing gown and bed shoes. He had trouble keeping a smirk off his face until Remus nudged him and gently shook his head.

"I have just spoken with Professor Dumbledore," she said. "And the Aurors are currently searching for Mr. Longbottom, as are the teachers. It is still early; I will not arouse panic over a matter most likely quickly settled."

Sirius slipped his wand out of the sleeve of his jacket and held it tightly in his fist, firm in the belief that his sleeve hid the tightness of his form. If Remus noticed, he said nothing, but Sirius could feel Remus' hand tugging on the side of his jacket and the infinitesimal movement towards him. Sirius tried to be comforted by him, but he was distracted, disorientated. It was difficult for Sirius to grasp the gravitas of the situation without being amused by the details. Frank Longbottom as a person meant very little to him, and if it wasn't for Alice crying beside him, he didn't think that it would've bothered him enough to worry about it.

"Professor Dumbledore is currently questioning Mr. Crouch," McGonagall said crisply. "He was discovered late last night in a corridor off of the Entrance Hall having been detained against his will for some time."

James looked over, and Sirius could feel his best mate's eyes on him. McGonagall looked over suspiciously, but Sirius maintained a blank expression if only to assuage his guilt in the matter.

Crouch's sudden appearance in the bowels of the castle had scared Sirius perhaps more than he put on. He was tipsy, but the company was relaxing and even though it had been years since they'd finished the map, showing Evans the secret passages still gave him a delayed sense of accomplishment. Evans was stuck, but Sirius had the answer, a solution to the problem. It wasn't much, but he liked having people to take care of.

Crouch had come upon them so suddenly, Sirius hadn't time to do more than draw his wand and push Evans behind him. It didn't matter who it was, anyone hiding in the dark this late at night deserved a hex or two for their troubles. Sirius had hesitated, a second, maybe more, and his hesitation had almost cost him dearly. Certainly more than a dozen curses and hexes crossed his mind, but Sirius wavered over hexing someone he couldn't see. It wasn't cowardice, he thought sternly. It was self-defence, taking care of Evans, and he tried to push back his fear and do what needed to be done despite the consequences. If Lily had had any reservations, she hadn't shared them with him. He remembered pulling her beside him, urging her to run faster, to push forward away from whoever Crouch had become. That time, he hadn't hesitated to cast a full body bind, and the solid thunk of a body hitting the flagstones pulled a half-smile to his lips, as did the hexes he layered on top. It may not have worked on Moody forever, but this was an older man, and they only needed five minutes.

Sirius tried to hide how shaky his hands were from her, how scared he had been. His fear was unimportant, she needed not to be found here, and Sirius wasn't keen on being left in an abandoned corridor with a deranged Ministry official either. Their walk up to the sixth floor was tense, and his aloofness might've come across as flippant, offhand, but it wasn't. Sirius was terrified, what would James think of him if he had let Lily Evans get hurt on his watch?

And it all cycled back, did it not, to that night James had chosen Evans over him. To when he and Remus and Marlene had slinked off into the shadows to follow a flipped coat sleeve in the dark, a scuffle of a shoe on uneven stones. In that moment, and perhaps forever after, Sirius had followed his instincts and kept Evans behind him. Not because she wasn't able to fight (he had been on the receiving end of more than one of her jinxes over the years) but because she mattered to James. She was more than just Evans now; she was James' entire future and everything it represented. As much as Sirius wanted to deny it, Lily was the long game for James, and the end was very nearly in sight.

McGonagall told them (with a shaky, but stern expression) that they were to stay put and await further instructions.

Sirius looked over to where James and Lily were comforting Alice but caught Marlene's eye as he looked away. Marlene was exhausted, he thought, but that firm tilt in her expression spurred Sirius to pocket the map and slink out of the Common Room before the others could notice he was gone.

…

Breakfast came and went, and as the Gryffindor's woke up and over the next few hours, an uncomfortably familiar situation awaited them. House-elves held trays of sausage and eggs aloft, and students gathered and whispered in groups of three and four across the Common Room. Snow had begun to fall, and when the announcement was made that classes were cancelled until Frank was found, books were retrieved, and a quiet air of studying began that was due to last until the end of the day.

It was difficult to focus on the severity of the situation with no news, Remus thought, absentmindedly moving his rook. Evidently, the piece knew better and stubbornly refused to advance until Remus held it steady. Nonetheless, James' queen took it, and Remus's mind continued to wander. It was late in the term, nearly halfway through December. If they didn't find Frank soon, what would happen in the New Year? Could Hogwarts even open if students continued to go missing without explanation?

Remus knew that James was considering using a truth serum on Amelia to find out more about her assailant, but Remus wasn't sure what it would accomplish. Moody had kidnapped her by accident, he already had the reputation of a quick wand hand, and it wasn't outside of his character to act the way that he did. But it was the details that bothered him. Why was she out so late? Why was she alone? Why had she left without telling her friends where she was going and come back with no explanation? He could see the appeal in Veritaserum, but as skilled as a potioneer as Lily was, it was one of the hardest potions to make. And it wasn't as if they could just buy it, who would sell the most potent truth serum to underaged students?

No, he thought. There has to be another way.

Peter and the others were playing gobstones while Lily and the other girls tried to comfort Alice. McGonagall had been by once to conference with Lily and James, but by James' expression and crossed arms; the news was moot. He was simply gone, James had told them, missing without a trace. There was nothing to suggest that Frank was taken in a struggle, no witnesses to his abduction, no evidence to be found anywhere in the castle. His parents had been notified and were due to arrive later that day.

Remus couldn't help noticing the skittish way that Lily and James were with one another. When McGonagall spoke to them, their body language was loose and relaxed, more comfortable with one another subconsciously than otherwise. James traced circles in his arm like he usually did, and Lily moved to rest her hand on his lower back before thinking twice about it and lowering it into her pocket instead. She was wearing James' cardigan, his favourite one, and the soft wool was too large on her already petite frame. Remus knew that he and the others had caught them in a compromising position earlier, but Remus hadn't been aware that things had already progressed to a physical level. James wasn't one to sleep with a girl he didn't have strong feelings for, and it seemed out of character for both of them to be moving so quickly. He supposed it could've been a misunderstanding, but he didn't think so. Lily looked far too embarrassed for them to have been caught discussing Herbology.

James looked tousled too, his hair sticking up in all directions, shirtless with more than one suspicious bruise dotting his neck. Lily was watching him, salivating more like, as he dressed, and Remus smiled. He was happy for them; honestly, he was. Remus had never been particularly focused or driven towards romantic inclinations, but his friends deserved to be happy. He hoped that they were honest with one another, and if that morning was anything to go by, things were progressing in that direction at the very least.

Remus had watched as Sirius left Gryffindor tower in the confusion following McGonagall's news. He wasn't surprised; frankly he was more surprised that James hadn't followed him. Sirius must've taken the map, Remus thought with a sigh. There wouldn't be a way to find him if he wasn't trying to be found, and the castle was too big for a thorough search. A quiet part of Remus' mind admired Sirius for his boldness, but it was dangerous, foolhardy. Aurors and teachers were in the fifth hour of searching, and any student they found would be treated with suspicion. Sirius was too smart to get caught, but it still frightened him.

He wasn't sure what he and Sirius were these days, it had never been labelled or spoken about, but they were something, if not only to be categorized as more than nothing. Remus knew that Sirius had a rocky relationship with acceptance, especially after what had happened with Regulus and his parents. It was hard to feel loved— Remus knew— when your own family looked on with suspicion and ignorance. Remus couldn't claim any deference towards a harmonious relationship with his own parents, their's was civil if not a little cool. He had spent his Christmases and summers at the Potter mansion for years. Remus hoped beyond all hope that whatever wedge had been driven between James and Sirius would find a resolution before term ended. And if it didn't, Remus thought with a sigh, he would most likely stay behind and keep Sirius company. He hoped it wouldn't come to that, but he wouldn't condemn his best mate to spend his last Christmas at Hogwarts alone.

McGonagall had come twice since breakfast to speak to James and Lily alone. Afterwards, they had talked about it in whispers, but there was no news, no clues, all trace of Frank Longbottom's whereabouts seemed to have disappeared. Remus knew that James wanted to go after Sirius, but things were different now. The stakes were higher, and Dumbledore had personally requested that they stay put.

So they did, and the hours slid by without change. Snow had begun to fall, and the heavy flakes drifted through thin sunlight, casting a warm glow on the castle. By the time dinner rolled around, it was clear that no more news would arrive before morning, and James and Lily settled in for a night in their old dormitories. Remus didn't think that they had slept together if James' longing stares towards Lily's retreating form on the girls' staircase was anything to go by. James had fancied Lily forever, but that love had changed from a conquest to a love match over the last year. James didn't want Lily because he wanted to prove something, he wanted her because he loved her. Love suited James, and Remus figured that he'd be in for a long night without her.

It was past eleven by the time he and Peter turned in, leaving James alone by the hearth. He looked contemplative, not particularly unhappy, but pensive, deep in thought. Remus knew better than to coax a reasonable sleep schedule out of him, and after ruffling his hair, left for their dormitory.

…

It was long past midnight, and several masked figures swept through the upper floors of Hogwarts castle under utmost secrecy. A figure hovered above them, bound and gagged and invisible, and their footsteps echoed through the empty corridors. The middle figure, somewhat more stooped than the others, waved a wand from beneath their robes, and a previously unseen door creaked open before them. The interior was dank and dark, cobwebs and dust hanging from the beams with snow blowing through the cracks in the casements. They lowered their captive with perhaps less grace than was permitted, and he woke the disillusionment charm breaking suddenly. His captives allowed a cough and belligerent stream of nonsense before binding him to a pillar, three wands pointed at his chest.

Frank Longbottom was bloodied and bruised, a cut above his left eyebrow spilled blood into his eye and down his cheek. His robes were torn and muddy, the hem caked in dirty snow. But despite all of this, he faced his captives with a stern expression and defiant posture, standing tall and proud.

"You'll get nothing out of me," Frank said boldly, "I won't speak, I won't tell you anything!"

"So you say now," the shortest of the trio snarled, flicking Frank's scruffy adolescent beard with the tip of his wand. Frank lunged, knocking the wand aside. The two other captors took a step forward, but Frank remained strong and determined.

"So sure," another said, his voice slow and smooth and familiar. "And yet, your position might change once the stakes are revealed."

"You have nothing on me," Frank said.

"Oh, is that so?" he continued, raising his wand and circling Frank. His mask was loose against his face, and his voice was so familiar that Frank recognized it, but couldn't quite place it. Despite his injuries, Frank stood taller and looked down at this coward of a man with the most loathing he could muster. "You must think yourself invincible to still believe that help is coming, Longbottom. It's been hours, Dumbledore's not coming to save you this time. Tell us what we need to know, and we'll set you free,"

"Simple as that, eh?"

"It couldn't be simpler," he confirmed. "You'll remain our captive until you're starving and wretched until you speak that which you know. We both know that you have information, Longbottom. Information about the Order of the Phoenix,"

"The what?" Frank said impulsively, and the trio laughed, a sickening high pitched wail that echoed throughout the room. Frank shivered, both in fear and in the cold. The temperature was dropping, and Frank was defenceless and very alone. He wished Alice was here, fuck it; he wished anybody was here.

"Come on, Longbottom, we don't have all night," the last figure said. "Where are they meeting? Who is their leader? What are their numbers?"

"I don't know anything!" Frank repeated desperately, watching the first figure's wand raise in an undeniable gesture. "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

"CRUCIO!" he shouted, and Frank's world descended into blinding pain, all else receded except for the cold and the dark and the knowledge that nobody was ever going to find him; Frank was going to die here.

...

Hi, two things: one being that this song by Kaleo is so incredible perfect for this scene, I just couldn't handle it. I've had the intricacies of the Death Eater plot solidified for a couple of weeks now, and UGH, the parallels between corporate nepotism and the Death Eaters are appalling. Also, the line devil's gonna set me free is wonderfully concise for how Voldemort must've acted in the first war. Because I couldn't figure it out, other than those who would sign up for no other reason than to take their racist and problematic ideals out on, why would you become a Death Eater in the first place? What's in it for you?
It's mentioned by Malfoy (?) in one of the later books that one does not simply un-become a Death Eater, once you sign up, you're in for good. So what makes this offer appealing?
It can't be the money, nor could it really be the infamy of calling yourself a Death Eater, because one of the main points is personal anonymity to the other Death Eaters. It could be tied to social standing, but most of these landed families are old money, and wouldn't need the leg up.
And then there are people like Regulus Black, and to another extent Snape, who by all intents and purposes signed up right after Hogwarts (or maybe even before) for reasons that are obligatory at first, but later become a vehicle by which to administer their own ideals.
Also, it's officially the middle of December now, so feel free to listen to Christmas music while you read. It certainly made it more wonderful for me.
Much love,
V