"Excuse me," she inquired in the lunch room, "have any of you seen either Madoka or Sayaka? I was hoping to have a word with them..."
The other girls all shook their heads.
"They've been, like, off doing their own little thing all week," observed Nanami. "Don't you usually walk into school with them, though?"
"Well, usually that's the case," said Hitomi, "but they've been a little bit distant -"
Nakazawa, passing by, intrrupted. "Hey - I think I saw them a few minutes ago. It looked they were going up to the roof."
"Ooooooh, the roooooof," said Nanami. "So, Madoka got a love letter, but of course she's way too shy to head up there alone to be confessed to, so she asked Sayaka up there to goad her along..."
"Actually," said Wakaba, "I might have seen them heading up there earlier in the week. And they've been going off together a lot lately..."
"Oh. Oh my. So much alone time, so suddenly!" said Nanami.
"Wait, I don't get it... what are you saying?" asked Yuka.
"Yes!" said Wakaba. "There's only one possible explanation!"
"How unexpectedly lurid!" said Nanami.
"Wait, lurid?" asked Wakaba.
"Huh?" said Yuka.
Wait, they're not ... no. They must't. I should stop them from gossiping... even if it probably is true.
"I mean... okay, well, what were you going to say?" asked Nanami.
"All the mysterious errands together? Spending lots of time alone with each other where no one can see?"
"Mmmhmm?"
"They've clearly decided to become a magical girl duo," said Wakaba, "and must fight to protect Mitakihara City from depraved, otherworldly monsters, beyond human understanding!"
Miss Akemi, at the next table, coughed sharply, and soda shot out through her nose.
"Woah," said Yuka.
Hitomi took a moment to blink. "Are you okay, miss Akemi?"
"I'm ... hak ... perfectly fine," she said, "just ... swallowed wrong, is all."
"You don't need to visit the nurse or anything, do you?"
"No, no," she said, waving Hitomi off, and regaining her composure. "However, I have ... spilled my drink, and I ought to go tidy myself up."
"Okay," she said, "are you quite sure you don't need an escort?"
"To visit the washroom?" she enquired as she stood up. "No. No, I really should hope not," she stated, earnestly, without even a hint of sarcasm.
"Well, all right," said Hitomi. She's a strange girl.
"So anyway," said Wakaba to Nanami, "I don't know what you were thinking, but, it seems like there's a perfectly wholesome explanation for the whole matter."
"Perfectly ridiculous, at least."
"Well, either way," interejcted Hitomi, "I'd prefer not to spread gossip about friends, especially such wild speculation."
"Well you know, if they're up there on the roof, you could always go check on them," suggested Nanami.
"Oh, that would be great!" said Yuka.
"What? Why would that be great?" asked Hitomi.
"Because then you could walk in on them, and make it a threesome!"
Hitomi flailed backwards and fell off her chair, landing on the ground on her bottom.
make it a ... make it a ...
Nanami stood up and looked around the table.
"Oh my gosh, are you all right?" asked Wakaba.
"It's always the quiet ones," said Nanami. "And that goes for both of you."
"Wh- what ... did I say something weird again?" said a startled Yuka.
"TRIO, you doofus! Magical girl TRIO," said Wakaba.
"Isn't that what I said?" replied the girl in confusion.
"Seriously though," asked Nanami, "is Hitomi okay?"
"Oh my god Hitomi your face is beet red," said Yuka.
"Are you hurt? Where's the health representative?" asked Wakaba.
"We've established this," said Nanami; "Madoka and Sayaka are up on the roof together."
"Oh god," said Wakaba."
"So in the absence of our health rep, maybe the class representative should go get a nurse -" began Nanami.
Hitomi somehow partially recovered enough to say something.
"I'm ... I'm all right," she said, holding up one hand, "just a little, ah, jostled around."
"Here, let me help you get up," said Wakaba.
"No, no, I've... I've got it," said Hitomi, but took her hand anyway.
"Geez, girl," said Nanami, "assuming you're actually not hurt, that was ... absolutely hilarious. Wow. Good show."
"Oh, our poor dear Hitomi," said Wakaba, "so sweet, so innocent in the ways of the world. It'll be all right." She paused. "But, you know, if I'd known you were this easy to scandalize... I would have called dibs."
"How unexpectedly lurid." repeated Nanami.
Hitomi swallowed uncomfortably.
"What... I still don't get it!" said Yuka.
"You'll figure it out when you're older, dear," said Nanami.
"I ... I think ..." began Hitomi, stuttering, "I should take a moment and, ah, tidy myself up." She brushed off her skirt. "I'll just be over in the washroom..."
"With Miss Akemi?" asked Yuka.
"... Kinky," said Wakaba.
with miss... akemi...
"This conversation," said Nanami, "is unreal."
"Fuck," said Wakaba.
"L-language!" objected Yuka.
"Well you started it!" said Nanami. "Geez, Yuka, why don't we just all go up to the roof and have a great big fucking orgy?"
"Wow, that was really loud," said Wakaba.
"... Well, I bet it's really nice up on the roof," said Yuka, obliviously, "it's sunny and warm, and ..."
"Oh my gawd," said Nanami, "I can't even."
"... Hitomi, are you all right?" asked Yuka.
Miss Akemi was not in the washroom. Maybe she's up on the roof
"... Kinky," said an imaginary Wakaba.
shut up shut up shut up
...but her mind wouldn't shut up, it wouldn't shut up, it just kept going and going...
She went into a little room - just one the stalls, but it was all enclosed like a clost - and she locked herself in, and crouched down in the corner, and she leaned up against the wall, and closed her eyes, and tried to get a hold of herself.
The idea of Magical Girl Madoka would have been fuel enough for a whole host of imaginary scenarios. Kimonos and tea ceremonies were bad enough; a magical girl costume would be unending bliss.
Imaginary Madoka giggled. "Oh dear! I've been found out! Don't tell anyone else at school, okay?"
It made too much sense. The girl would pour her soul into that sort of a role, and she would be the pinkest, fluffiest, cutest thing ever.
"Well thank you, Hitomi," said imaginary pink fluffy Madoka as she spun about to show off her shiny red shoes, "but you know, Homura is pretty cute too."
"N-n-no I'm n-not," said the nervous girl beside her, blushing.
"Oh, don't worry," said Madoka playfully, tugging on the flounces of one of her globes, "I'm sure there's enough of me to go around..."
What's wrong with you, Hitomi, why is Homura a moe little meganeko girl, where do you even come up with these things? B- besides, Madoka's not... she's not that kind of girl!
"Don't underestimate Madoka," said Homura (the serious one), sitting across from her, in an incandescent spot in a quiet restaurant. "Yes, she is a good girl. But the fundamental nature of the erotic is founded upon transgression. She simply needs to feel safe, and you, her best friend, are in a fine position to make her feel this way."
"I'm not what exactly what you're suggesting here, Miss Akemi," replied Hitomi.
She pulled out a folder from her bag. "I would suggest you start by proposing a sleepover, a girl's night out. You will propose to host it at your place, but you will tell your mother that it is at her place. After school, arrange a black car service. Not the usual company, I've included a phone number. After that, a train ride to Tokyo."
"Tokyo?"
"Upon arrival in Tokyo, you will check into the indicated hotel. It is just across the street from the train station. Your father has points from his business trips that are due to expire soon anyway. Book a standard suite; they'll upgrade you to a premium suite on the top floor. Before you go, the hotel will receive two packages to place in your rooms, which you must also arrange in advance."
"Packages?"
"Well, you're not going to wear your school uniforms to the ballet."
"The ballet!?"
"The performance will be a Tokyo premiere of Coppelia," continued miss Akemi, "and you will have front row tickets. You will need your father's platinum card for this - get in touch with the concierge on the website, the login details are attached. Tell them it's a surprise present for your daughter, and to mail them addressed to the young lady of the house. As for the evening wear, I've enclosed all of Miss Kaname's measurements and suggested a few suitable designs for the two of you which should be ready in time; they are each possessed of adequate frills -"
"H- how do you know ..."
"Because I'm magic, of course," said Miss Akemi, as if it were obvious.
"... really?" asked a credulous Hitomi.
"I also use my magic powers for the purpose of deadpan humor and to cheat on school assignments."
Hitomi blinked.
"Just to be clear, that one was the deadpan humor."
Hitomi laughed nervously.
"I didn't say I was good at the humor," said Homura.
"Miss Akemi," began Hitomi, "why..."
"Because Madoka is a precious friend, and I want her to be safe and happy. Isn't that enough? And... well, you're her friend. In a way, I suppose, I am simply playing the meddlesome matchmaker. I'm just more detail-oriented about it than most people can manage."
Hitomi paused, thinking of something to say. "... But even so, this is over the top. Wouldn't she be happier with, say, a nice country house by the b-"
"Of couse, but if you do it like that, her father will find the two of you out there, and drive the two of you right back home, personally, mostly so he can give the poor girl one of his earnest lectures along the way to Mitakihara. And then she cries. And then, well..." She pushed the folder over to Hitomi. "It's bad. Trust me. Besides, if she's going to be happy with you, then she needs to be a proper, lovely princess."
A confused Hitomi blinked. "I don't think I know quite what to say, miss Akemi."
"Please. Call me Homura." She put her hands together, and put her chin on her hands. "Now, the next part is even more important. Hitomi, do you even know what to do with an eleagant young woman after showing her a very nice time? Do you even have the mental vocabulary to imagine?"
She shrunk back into the corner of the booth. Her heart was pounding.
"In many ways," Homura said, "it's better that you're uncertain. She will be uncertain too. You can laugh at each other. But I think I can say a few words, my dear Hitomi, about exactly how to drive your dear little strawberry shortcake completely out of her mind."
Sayaka loves Madoka too.
Miss Akemi loves her very much indeed.
The blonde girl, and her redhead friend from out of town.
I'm not the sweet girl you thought I was, Papa.
You've misjudged me. You'd be so shocked.
She regained consciousness on the floor. Her head hurt, and she was gross, and sweaty.
I must stink with lust.
She couldn't show her face in class right now. And she couldn't go to dance after school. She was a wreck. What time was it, even? Had she even missed the rest of class and practice?
She couldn't even dare go home to Papa.
I'm sorry, Papa. It's not your fault. You didn't raise me to be so... carnal.
How was her brain even capable of these images? Where could she have been exposed to even rumors of this depravity before? Was it just today that she had blushed at the thought of threesomes? How vanilla.
It must be... instinct, she supposed, like I'm some sort of an animal.
Well did you expect you were plant? The voice laughed, like one of those snooty rich girls in an anime you were just supposed to hate. Oh, such a pretty little flower... Of course, that's not really much better.
Shut up, she thought.
But yes, definitely an animal, said a voice in her head, and more specifically, a mammal, and as far as that goes, certainly one of the finest in the school. Why, simply look down at those fine ...
i said shut up, she thought, and folded her arms and tried not to look down.
Oh, but what a shame! She's afraid of herself. A little animal, afraid of her body and what it makes her do. A pause. Well, I suppose it is a shameful thing, you know. But you surprised me! Where did all that come from? With most people, you can tell the fantasies from memory but I swear, there must have been a dozen shameful first kisses in there, all so perfectly clear. You just don't stop, Hitomi!
shut up shut up shut up
Oh, I'm so very sorry, said the voice, not sounding very sorry. But - you know - you shouldn't be so hard on your father. He did a very good job, and you are such a lovely, beautiful girl on the inside. So gentle, so gracious. It's a shame.
She wanted to say, shut up, and, don't say that about Papa, but, then, the voice hadn't said anything about Papa. Damn it all.
Come now, said the voice, you needn't worry in the least. I will show you a better way. And you can bring the others so that I can show you all.
"When I was talking with Homura," mumbled Madoka to herself, "it felt like we could be friends. I wonder why she and Mami didn't get along?" She shuffled on, pondering, then paused "Huh? is that Hitomi? Hey, Hitomi! I thought you were at practice today."
It was better than dance practice. Hitomi was leaping, flying into the sky. It was an open space, and she must have hit ten meters or so, before she was pulled back down. She was pure, and focused, and radiant. She may have had wings; it was hard to see.
"Hitomi!" cried Madoka. "Hey, Hitomi come on!"
She looked down from the peak of her flying leap. Below her, a chain, stretching down to a havey anchor. Oh, but also, her best friend. Her sweet, pure, delightful, innocent friend.
"Oh, good evening, Madoka," replied the anchor. "How are you?"
"Huh?" said a confused Madoka. "What happened to you? Do you know where you are, where you're going?"
"... Where am I going?" How could she explain it? How could she make the words come out ... down there? "... I'm going somewhere wonderful, that's where."
It had come out a little funny. Madoka looked confused. "Hitomi...?"
She tried harder. "Oh, yes. And you simply must come with! Yes. You'll see. It'll be so wonderful!" Come with me, my pure Madoka. We shall attend the ballet together, but this time, we shall both be as dance itself, and pure as light.
The stage was full of lights, and the lights were the dancers, and the dancers were all in chains. The hierophant, who glowed softly, knelt on the ground by the altar, as the prima donna approached center of the dance; she was a very beautiful, and the weight on the end of her chain was very heavy. It was an excellent casting.
"No, stop it!" cried out the friend. "Don't do that!"
Oh, little shining, Madoka dear, you don't understand. How can I explain? But you'll ruin everything.
"This is a sacred ceremony," said the heavy anchor, "we can't have you interrupting it."
"But those chemicals are really dangerous! If you mix them together, everyone here could die!"
"Yes, and we're all going to go on a wonderful journey to a magnificent new world... Don't you see what an amazing opportunity this is? We can finally get rid of these bodies that hold us back." She smiled. "Oh, Madoka, in a little while you'll understand too."
"Let go of me!" cried the girl. She slipped past, and then, in a moment of glory far brighter than the sun, rushed forward and stole the show.