„Moments of Doubt"
The matters got complicated from now. Two of the rangers that attacked the party were still alive, the third one killed by one of Yoshimo's arrows. One of them was unconscious after a fall, unable to soften his landing, being under influence of a paralyzing spell, but the second, a blonde half-elf with his face full of anger, victim of Jaheira's squirrels, was scowling at them from under a tree he fell from, unable to attack with his broken arm. Over them the rain was playing a mundane melody on the leaves of highest branches, never reaching the ground.
The conscious ranger couldn't be more than twenty years old, and that made him quite young for a half-elf. He was surrounded by the party now, Jaheira's sharp eyes watching his every move with suspicion. Daria approached the wounded half-elf knowing he's partly under Xan's enchantment and he wasn't able to attack without a warning. She did get spat in her face however. The half-elf momentary winced, as if in pain, but his vicious glare hasn't lessened even a bit. She wiped her face under a hood turning to the enchanter for a moment. His eyes were set firmly on their captive, his face a stone mask of concentration and… anger? He gave a nod knowing she was looking at him for confirming, without breaking eye contact. He renewed his hold over the half-elf, stopping him effectively from doing anything desperate. Mazzy was watching their every move with suspiciousness, seemingly paying more attention to her new traveling companions that to the attackers.
"Why did you attack us?" Daria asked the immobilized ranger. He was taken aback for a moment, but the fierce expression disappeared only for a split second.
"You know! You're from the Cowled Wizards" the half-elf spat again uttering the name of organization with hate. "You will never get Valygar." That actually told her all she wanted to know about the trio of rangers.
"He's a wanted criminal, responsible for death of two innocent men" she stated. She noticed before that Tolgieras was hiding something and suspected that maybe there was more to the attack on the Cowled than general hate to magic users.
"Two mages! Your kind has nothing to do with innocent people!" Perhaps it was just general hate. It was the first time Daria encountered such extreme dislike toward magic users. She thought of her abilities as of a talent, like a gift in swordplay she was fully devoid of, or Imoen's natural easiness with the locks. There was no prejudice toward the mages in Candlekeep… Half of the population of Candlekeep consisted of mages.
"Being educated in ways of the Art doesn't make anyone to blame for anything." Daria recognized a lost cause, when she saw one, but she couldn't help to try explaining herself.
"You're all slaughterers, monsters! Your dark magic is a taint on face of Toril!" The ranger was becoming red on his face, a hint of madness in his words obviously present.
"Yet it was you, who murdered a villager with cold blood" Daria said in bitter voice.
"He was a traitor! Valygar did so much for Imnesvale and they betrayed him to the Cowled!" The ranger hasn't even stopped for a minute to consider, making up his ideology along the way. Daria paid no more attention to his shouts as she saw the other archer regaining consciousness.
"Jaheira, take care of the other one." The blonde half-elf paled, misinterpreting Daria's words as a death sentence to his comrade. The druidess made her way to the other archer, a half-elf as well, and checked for his state.
"I won't tell you anything" the hateful ranger hissed through clenched teeth, but this time fear appeared in his eyes.
"You will go with us to Valygar Corthala's cabin."
"I will never…" he began to say, but silenced hearing Jaheira's voice uttering words of a healing spell over his half-conscious companion, healing a bloody gush on his head. Daria doubted he recognized the incantations, given his obvious hate for magic.
"I will lead you to the cabin if you will let my brother free" he stated with blank expression. Daria bit her lip at the vision his words summoned, determined to see it through despite the thumping pain in her head. She sensed deception, blurry images of deep forest, the half-elven ranger laughing at them manically, overjoyed to have led them the wrong way. She expected as much without having to resort to divinations.
"You will both go with us to the cabin after we bury the dead, but neither of you will lead the way." It seemed she would end up divining the path anyway. She called for a quick rest picking Anomen and Minsc to keep an eye out for the captives.
***
Nalia was still in shock, staring at the arrow stuck halfway in a tree, by the time they cleared the battlefield and dug two shallow graves for the fallen, placed on two sides of a small glade. They had enough tact not to bury a victim right next to its killer, but had to leave the rangers grave unmarked. The half-elf refused to reveal his comrade's name, looking at them with loathing, as if suspecting them for being necromancers only waiting to desecrate the graves and rise the undead. Daria shrugged him off and wrote the name on a piece of wood, seemingly effortlessly looking through the veil of time. She wrote many names on many graves, the first one being her father's, and couldn't force herself to leave an unmarked burial place.
The young noblewoman was sitting on the ground all this time, unable to move her stare from what could be her death, were it not for Daria.
"We should go now, before it starts getting dark" Nalia heard a voice, most likely seeking her attention.
"I'm too young to die" she whispered weakly.
"It's alright Nalia. You're not going to die" Daria kneeled by the stunned girl, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"I would have died if you hadn't saved me." Nalia heard stories about heroes sacrificing their lives in the name of goodness, but this… this was different. There was nothing heroic in dying from an arrow in a trap, being hit almost accidentally. It was wrong.
"You'd be fine. I acted on an impulse, without thinking. You still had your stoneskins to protect you and didn't need my help." Nalia realized with a blush that the elf was right – stone hard layer was still covering her tightly. She felt like a complete fool, but the uneasiness caused by the closeness of death remained. She managed to shift her gaze from arrow and stand up however. She noticed something strange when she changed her point of view. From different angles Daria's face seemed to have slightly different shade, like the air itself was denser near her head. It was a sigh of the illusion magic at work, but though Nalia recognized a spell her eyes couldn't penetrate it. She kept silent, unwilling to make herself a fool again, but decided to discreetly ask Jaheira what it meant later.
Daria smiled with sympathy at the noble born girl, seeing she's recovering from the shock. The first time she brushed with death she alarmed the whole Candlekeep, running out of the stables screaming with a small dagger she always kept with her covered in blood. It was the first assassination attempt she evaded, there were many more later on, but this moment, her first kill, weighted on her memory more than any other attack she suffered. Out of habit she pushed it away from her thoughts.
Their captives, both half-elven, both scowling furiously, were surrounded by Minsc and Anomen. Daria knew she couldn't leave them here, otherwise they could warn Valygar, or attack them once again, and she didn't even consider killing them. The only option left was taking them into custody until they deal with the mage killer and then leave them in Imnesvale to be judged for killing Jeb. 'And they could do as hostages' the more practical, or the more cynical part of her mind added. She was still getting used to that part, it seemed she didn't have such thoughts before.
She wasn't going to let either of the rangers lead the way, they were not trustworthy as her vision straightforwardly shown and thus she had to find the cabin herself. She already saw it once, from the sky, during the first divination, but to find the right path she needed a look from a bit lower perspective. She'd rather not use her divinations while walking having two dangerous rangers behind her. She approached Xan.
"Could you lend me a hand?" she asked nonchalantly with a smile, before reminding herself that he's still avoiding her and she should show some remorse for whatever she said last night.
"I… Could you ask Jaheira to do it?" It hurt like a stab in a back when he said that. She always took his hand when divining, always. She knew he was angry at her, in his own specific way, but he never turned her down before, no matter what happened, or what she was trying to divine. She didn't even know if she could hear someone else's heartbeat during her trance. Knowing he holds her hand every time gave her a warm feeling of safety, comfort she needed so much when she was immaterial, slowly drifting away from her body. She couldn't stop the tears on time, feeling betrayed like never before, but she still had her hood obscuring the view. She turned around without a word, before he could see her face.
She knew it was naïve of her to think he would always be there for her, ready to help her every time she needed it, but she thought like that indeed. He was sighting and complaining, he would tell her that it was hopeless and that they were all doomed, but he would take her hand and let her fall in his arms and make her feel as safe as she could in the current situation. And now it was gone as well… Maybe he would forgive her in few days and stop keeping away from her, but it wouldn't be the same anymore. She felt bitter and angry knowing she brought this upon her head all by herself. She suddenly started to consider whether getting rid of the nightmares for one night was worth it, but after all it was just one more emotion to stifle inside. She didn't know why she cared anymore.
Anomen was standing near the captives, putting more effort in trying to look stern and threatening than paying attention to the two half-elves. He was Daria's second choice when she assessed her party when it came to fastening her to the present. She knew only too well Jaheira had often problems with controlling her irritation and the sun elf could tell when she was annoyed because of the quickening pulse which would most likely ruin her concentration. Minsc was doing a much better job with guarding the half-elves than the priest and though Daria knew he could help her with divinations she decided to bother Anomen instead. She took him by the arm without explaining anything and pulled him away from the half-elves. He was surprised, but let her lead him to a remote corner of the glade. Daria sat down and gestured him to do the same.
"Give me your hand." She wasn't in a mood for explanations, she was in a mood to be grumpy. All she needed him to do was to listen to her instructions and luckily Helmites were born to do just that. She grabbed his hand almost harshly trying to center on his pulse.
"Don't let go of my hand no matter what happens, or what I say in the trance" she warned him and ineffectively tried to follow his heartbeat. It was steady and strong, just as she remembered it was, from the time he held his palm on her forehead, but also somehow very wrong. It simply wasn't the right heartbeat and neither was Jaheira's, Minsc's or Yoshimo's. She felt teary again, wishing she could hear the familiar rhythm yet again and surprisingly… she did. Instinctively she sharpened her hearing with magic and distinguished a quiet beat of Xan's heart sounding inside its owner's chest. She could hardly make it out from among the other sounds, but when she focused her magically enhanced senses on it she could muffle everything else. It was mindless of her to never get the idea to sharpen her senses before divining. It was so easy to follow a heartbeat when it was pounding loudly in her head, like a bell, sounds of eternal melancholy. She missed his hand holding hers nonetheless, but left her body without the fear of getting lost.
***
He did it before. He held her hand many times, embraced her and… Yes, he kissed her before, on a cheek, when they were parting in Baldur's Gate, his duties calling him to return to Evereska. Xan was trying to make sense of what he felt, sitting under one of the trees covering him from the rain. She teased him many times ambushing him and tickling, but these were simple things, common among friends, among them as well. It never felt so uncomfortable, so… intimate. He could hold her when she was in trance caring only for her safety before, but now he couldn't even think about touching her hand without blushing and recalling the events of previous night. And he knew she would sense it. It never ceased to amaze him how good she was at recognizing his moods, though he expected it to be a part of her divining abilities. Nevertheless he felt her in his arms many times in the past and did many other things, like walking hand in hand, sleeping close by or sharing reveries. Things usually reserved to the ones in love, as he realized stunned. Only back then it felt natural and now it was not. Different - that was the word he was looking for. It was different.
He said he didn't love her, but he wasn't sure anymore. He missed her when he was in Evereska, a calm misery accompanying his usual melancholy like a close friend. He longed to show her his homeland and felt sorrowful knowing she would never be let inside the elven settlement, that he may never see her again. He didn't think much about Imoen, Jaheira and Khalid, Kivan, or his other companions. There was something resembling happiness inside him since the time they met again. He knew there was small chance of seeing her once more after their parting, and even though death was following her trail like a hungry hound he was relieved to be in her company. Was he lovesick? Was it only the matter of putting feelings into words?
'No, it can't be. It is just too… hopeless.' She was only his best friend, she knew him better than anyone else, even better than Kivan did. And he knew why he yearned to show her Evereska. It wasn't because of the friendship or any kind of love. It was because she was a Bhaalspawn, a simple hurting fact that made her separated from her people from the very beginning, a cruel injustice condemning a young innocent woman to life in loneliness and death denying any afterlife. He would always protect her, but not because of what he might feel toward her. He would always protect her because she was burdened even heavier than he was, though he wouldn't believe it was possible before, and she needed his help more than anyone else in the group. Love had nothing to do with any of his actions. And the previous night was just a… something that happened. Nothing important. He would forget about it soon enough.
He looked around the clearing, searching for Daria. He felt he could breathe easier now that he had everything explained. He knew he could talk to her again freely again. His eyes moved through Jaheira and Minsc guarding the prisoners, Nalia talking with Yoshimo, Mazzy sharpening her sword and Daria… Daria was lying motionlessly by Anomen, holding his hand.
***
She winced in suprise when the heartbeat suddenly became faster and uneven. Daria took a look at the cabin already and memorized the path the best she could, but now finding her way back was beginning to pose a problem. Her own heart began to beat rapidly when she began to imagine the reasons of the sudden change of the pulse. Was the camp attacked again? More rangers came to free their comrades? Was Xan injured? She needed to get to the camp as fast as possible, but couldn't focus in her current unnerved state. Reminding herself that she doesn't have a heart in her incorporeal form and what she feels wasn't her actual pulse, only her imagination creating a representation of her body helped a little. It made her composed enough to be able to find the well-known beat once more.
She inhaled a bit too sharply upon returning and felt blood in her mouth. The priest sitting next to her drew his breath as well and she couldn't ignore the hiss of the air brushing through all his teeth and throat. She cried in pain and another sound hit her over-sensitive ears, stinging every nerve of her body. She pressed her free hand to the side of her head trying to muffle all the sound.
"MY LADY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" She bit her lip, shivering at the horrible noise. It was her fault, she forgot to tell him what to do when she returns from her short trip, but the punishment was a bit too much for a simple disregard. He still held her hand and squeezed it now, making her feel like her bones were being broken all over again. She felt tears making their way through her face, two heavy drops of water. Somebody in the camp cursed and began to whisper a spell. She could hear every word as clearly as if the caster was standing right by her.
"MY L…" Suddenly all the sounds ended, only deaf silence remaining. She took a deep breath, but couldn't hear the air anymore. All that remained to bother her was the smells of the forest and Anomen clutching her hand. She suddenly realized that someone must have cast a Silence spell and she used the chance to wrench her hand free from the priest's grasp, feeling as if her skin was being peeled from the bones. And all of a sudden she saw Jaheira being stabbed in a back by one of the half-elves, the previously unconscious one, which they forgot to check for hidden weapons. A sharp knife penetrated through one of the gaps in the druidess' armor ending her life in one fast stab, its owner grabbing his brother and disappearing in the forest. The vision faded… Few seconds! It would happen in few seconds!
Daria couldn't shout through a silenced sphere centered on her, and was too exhausted to get up, so she just pointed her finger at the prisoners praying in her mind for Jaheira to turn around and notice the hidden dagger in the ranger's hand. She could see what little sunlight was left in the rainy forest playing on the metal blade, drawn by the half-elf now raising to stand behind Jaheira, her eyes turned towards the diviner instead of the captive, after casting the silencing charm. Daria saw a cold glint in his eyes when he shot a look at Jaheira's back picking a place to strike in split second. She felt a freezing cold hand of insanity on her mind when she realized she can't stop him in any way, that the present was already past, because she couldn't change it, and all she has now is a grim future. The ranger smirked to himself and cut forward.
Jaheira's fist effectively removed the smirk from his face, breaking his nose along the way. The druidess turned around just in time to smash his face and disarm him with the other hand. The ranger fell backwards, his brother immediately pinned down to the ground by Minsc. Daria felt relieved beyond her imagination, before realizing that the lightness she feels it's not only caused by the fact Jaheira survived. She only managed to curse mutely at the fact that she's going to faint again, before the word blackened around her.
'The stresses, the still fresh injuries from the tortures, pressure of leadership, bad diet, lack of proper sleep… I faint far too often.' Daria counted in her head stirring to consciousness few minutes later. She could sense that the rest of the party was sitting nearby, but not close enough to get on her over-sensitive nerves, or rather senses. 'There's something wrong with your head' she remembered Jaheira say. Even her neck was stiff now, but she felt no extra headache adding to the hangover, which was recessing by now. 'Should Imoen be here, I'd already have a nickname 'ground-kisser', or something equally stupid. But she's not here, I am, instead of looking for this Corthala guy, and freeing her.' A little smoldering spark of anger was enough to lift her from the blanket and to her feet. She felt a little dizzy, but she knew it would pass and she preferred to walk while her head was taking its time.
Not even Jaheira tried to argue against marching forward, knowing how pointless it was. Instead she took her ward by the arm, supporting her unnoticeably, guiding the way at the path leading to the cabin of Valygar Corthala.