„The Border between a Dream and Reality"

Daria woke up feeling an unknown danger leaping over her. She sat on the bed and through one of the windows saw the pale moon rising above the horizon, sky purpled by the remaining colors of the setting sun. The dusk would fall soon and with the silver glow of the moon her dreams would come, taking her once more underground, to the dark halls of her nightmares. 'I woke up just in time it seems' she thought with some measure of relief.

The cabin was empty, but she could hear the voices of her friends outside, Valygar's low tone accompanied by Yoshimo's jokes and Anomen's boasting. She decided to join them in the camp after considering shortly. She didn't want to stay alone in a moonlit room, not a very romantic or contemplative atmosphere for someone with an 'allergy' to full moon. She wasn't fully rested and she was aware of what she was doing, exerting herself too much in her current state, but she needed the tiredness to stay sane, not to think of what she lost already and what she may yet lose in the future.

The ground outside was damp after the recent rain, but the tents were solid and apparently waterproof. She quietly made her way to the fireplace, dark cloak concealing her shape in the shadows, and sat by one of the trees, close enough to feel the distant warmth of the fire. All of her party members were gathered around it, though Nalia was already asleep on one of the bedrolls, but no one noticed her silent shape, crouched under a tree.

"And then I thrust a spear through the monster's spine saving the other squires!" Anomen finished another one of his tales. He didn't seem to care or notice than no one believes a word of what he says. He looked around as if expecting applause.

"In my homeland, the distant Kara-Tur, there are none such mighty beasts as wyverns. There are however…" Yoshimo smoothly began one more story, becoming a new center of interest.

Xan was the only one not paying any attention to the conversation, fully absorbed by his spellbook. He sat a bit further from the group on the relatively dry part of the ground covered with a blanket. Daria knew she could snatch him from the camp without anyone noticing.

She wasn't a stealth master like Yoshimo, or even a beginner like Nalia, but growing up with Imoen gave her plenty of occasions to being compelled not to be found and she received few tips from her sister. She stepped on one or two twigs on her way, but Minsc's thunderous laughter came just in time to obscure the noise.

"We need to talk" she said quietly, touching the enchanter's shoulder. He flinched from surprise and turned his eyes to her nervously.

"Why would we need to?" He couldn't say he didn't want to talk to her. It would be too cruel even if he really didn't want to.

"Please Xan. I won't take a lot of your time." As a matter of fact she was taking a lot of his time, diverting him from accomplishing his mission and postponing his return to Evereska, but the phrase was too good to pass.

He sighed heartbreakingly, but let her lead him away from the camp and the warmth, deeper into the forest where they could talk in private. She started instantly after they stopped surrounded closely by the trees and bushes.

"I wanted to apologize again for the last night… no, let me finish" she said when he opened his mouth to respond. "I know I said something upsetting and I hurt you. I can see as much. I'm very sorry. Was it something about your past? Because I tried to remember and…"

"No it wasn't… about the past. It was nothing." Nothing that made him avoid her all day. Nothing that made him sweat in her presence like he never did before.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. But you never avoided me like that and I wanted… Is there any way I can make it up for you?"

"Daria… There is no need to make up for anything. I was a bit moody, but I was tired and obviously my frame of mind means little given the fact that we are not going to live long enough to worry about that. I simply did not have much sleep last night" 'because I couldn't stop thinking what would happen if I stayed in your room at least few seconds longer' he didn't think that. The thought just appeared, but it certainly wasn't his. He sighed, but it seemed false in his ears. It wasn't melancholy that made him sight. It was just a cover-up. "You shouldn't be sorry because of it."

She smiled with this new smile of hers, wistful and almost sad.

"I'm glad" she said and before he realized what she's doing she moved forward, close to him. Her movements weren't fast and she seemed to be acting with consideration, as if probing how far she can walk on a thin ice. She embraced him slowly, putting her head on his chest. He could feel her hands moving to circle around him once more, like then, like the night before. It was the slowest of tortures and it took all his willpower to stand immobile, keeping his hands from doing something in their own accord, like returning the hug, stroking her back, his face aching to be buried in her chestnut hair. How could he never feel it? How could he just stand, with her being so close, before? His heart was racing in his chest like it was about to explode any second and he knew he couldn't take it anymore. It simply hurt too much.

With one move he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away on the distance of outstretched arms. It wasn't an instinct. His instincts were telling him to do something entirely different. He paled seeing complete disbelief and shock on her face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" by Seldarine, he didn't mean it like that, he didn't want to hurt her.

"No, I understand." He was terrified hearing how terribly emotionless her voice sounded. "I was too bold. It's about the scars, yes?"

It took few moments for Xan to actually understand what scars she meant. By that time she already had her hood back on and was turning to leave.

"Daria!" he reached to stop her.

"It's fine Xan. I'm sorry I took your time." The dead tone of her voice remained, but she was already gone.

***

The leader of the team appeared on the glade, where the cabin was located, almost running. He watched with rising surprise as she knelt by her pack rummaging through its contents, ignoring her other companion's greetings and questions. No one but him seemed to realize she didn't come from the direction of the cabin, but from the path leading to the middle of the forest. She found what she was looking for after a moment of hurried searching and drew a finely made bottle, full of clear liquid. Then she stood up slowly, holding the bottle's neck. He couldn't see her eyes from under the dark hood she seemed to be reluctant to part with, even among her trusted friends, but there was something strange the way she was holding the simple item. He almost felt the hatred emanating from her.

He saw her take a slow, deliberate swing and rapidly throw the glass flask at one of the trees. The bottle crushed at the contact with the wood, bursting in a fountain of liquid, the smell of alcohol immediately filling the air.

"Child…!" Only Jaheira managed to utter something.

Only then the elven woman turned to look at them, panting, her face still in her hood.

"There's a pond north of here, not far away, the one we passed by coming here. I'm going to take a bath." He couldn't make out the emotions raving in her voice, because of the heavy breathing, but there certainly were a lot of them.

"Wait. I'm going with you." The druidess stood up from a stump that served her as a stool.

"I need some time alone." A quick flash of silver appeared under the hood. "Nothing will happen to me" the diviner said before the half-elven woman had a chance to say anything. Jaheira was taken aback for a split second, but that was enough for Daria to disappear in the bushes.

As soon as she was gone Xan emerged on the glade, coming from the same direction where the sun elf came minute before.

"Where is she?" he asked, breathing heavily as well. His robes were torn by the bushes in few places, but he didn't seem to notice it.

"She went to the pond…" Jaheira said, surprisingly helpful. The enchanter immediately turned to walk in the direction of the small pool they saw before. "…to bathe" the druidess ended the sentence. Xan halted.

"Everybody had their turn in telling tales already. Now it should be yours." Jaheira's voice was sweet as honey, but everybody already knew that someone was going to pay for the druidess being caught off guard by her ward. And it was obvious who it was going to be.

"Come. Sit down and tell us what happened."

Valygar knew by then he was caught up in the middle of quite a tangled story.

***

And Xan was caught between an anvil and a hammer. He couldn't go after Daria, because it would end in even less comfortable situation than it was now, though it could hardly be any worse, and staying meant a long and difficult conversation with Jaheira, the kind with many witnesses and prolonging moments of silence. He fought the urge to lunge into the bushes after Daria, but at the moment he could only deal more trouble to her. He had to talk to her as soon as she comes back. And that meant…

Jaheira gestured him to seat at a stump she occupied previously, standing near the fireplace. That meant he had to stay, but gods knew he didn't have a clue about what to say.

"You can start now" the druidess allowed charitably when he took a sit. All the other party members were avoiding eye contact, pretending to be busy with something else. Yoshimo took out his tools already arranged in neat order and started examining them one by one, Minsc began to sharpen the Sword of Chaos, despite that magical weapons didn't require sharpening and Anomen began to polish his already mirror-clean armor. Nalia woke up at the sound of a bottle hitting a tree, but seeing Jaheira glaring daggers at Xan she immediately covered herself with a blanket and pretended to have fallen asleep again. Valygar appeared to be somewhat lost at what exactly was happening, but followed the others' example and busied himself with notching arrows. No one was looking at him, but Xan was surprisingly certain that they were all going to listen to his every word.

"Ehm… Daria said she wanted to talk…" Xan began to talk after deciding that he would have to make up something now.

"Yes?" Jaheira's tone was faultlessly polite and expressed only moderate curiosity.

"She wanted to apologize for the previous…" It was hopeless. No matter what he said it sounded wrong.

"The previous?" and Jaheira wasn't helping.

"The things she said last night." She said nothing last night, but he only said she wanted to apologize for it.

"And then?" Jaheira asked after a long moment of silence. Xan run out of ideas about what to say.

"And then I was a hopeless inconsiderate fool" he said finally, sighing. His shoulders slumped, but he had nothing left to do, but to say what happened.

"I am not good at comforting. It is pointless given the fact we all are meant to die, most likely soon, in some dump dungeon or crypt. A chance of meeting our end in the middle of woods, under a clear sky, preferable as it is, hardly brings me any kind reassurance" he began. Valygar seemed to be stunned by this declaration, but all others took it stoically. Even Mazzy already had a chance to get a sample of his outlook on life.

"What exactly did you say to her?" Jaheira was now more resigned than angry. She should have known better than to leave her ward alone with the enchanter for more than a minute when she was in her forlorn state. It was like storing scrolls by the fireplace. They only needed one spark. Now she had to assess the damage and save as much as she could.

It wasn't about what he said, but what he had done, Xan thought, but he never got a chance to say it, as the exact moment he opened his mouth to talk a thrilling scream came from the direction of a pond in the north. He immediately forgot about what he was about to say, about everything – Jaheira, the camp and his explanations, hearing pure terror in the elven voice, in Daria's voice, screaming in the distance. He drew his Moonblade and broke into run, the thinking part only kicking in when his legs were already on full speed.

"You two, come with me! The rest stays to guard the camp!" he heard Jaheira's voice somewhere behind him, but he didn't even thought of slowing down to wait for the rest, as the scream already ended as unexpectedly as it began. It could be a matter of seconds, he could already be too late… He sped up.

***

Daria reached the pond as fast as she could, before Jaheira could find some reasonable excuse to come with her. She sharpened her hearing checking if anyone was going after her and sighed with relief hearing no one coming. Under the rising moon her senses extended to examine every leaf on every tree, every animal lurking by the tree roots and every bird sleeping in its nest, the lack of light being only a minor inconvenience to the diviner. She could hear Xan falling into Jaheira's clutches, back in the camp, but she muffled the sound of his voice before her precognition got too spoiled. She blocked every thought connected with the enchanter and forced her heart to obey her wishes. She hastily removed her robes and dived into the chilly water meaning to distract herself from her own emotions. It was freezing and she fought the shiver shaking her whole body, clenching her teeth. She tried to swim, but it was too cold and she only resisted it long enough to wash herself from the dirt before being forced to get out.

A sudden noise in the bushes made her flinch in surprise and instantly sharpen her sight to penetrate the shadows, but it was only an owl, scared by her proceedings by the water. All around her the pond was quiet and undisturbed. She put her clothes on, hiding the scars covering her whole body. Not the heroically looking neatly lined marks she saw on many pictures in the books of Candlekeep library, but a hard and itching disfigured tissue, unpleasant in touch, aching at rapid movements. She never had much use of vanity in her life and now she regretted it bitterly. She wished she had worn the dresses and did the other things associated with beauty while she still could. Jaheira told her it will get better given time, but Daria knew the scars would remain. She scolded herself for such a childish thinking. Why would she want to be pretty anyway? She was an adventurer, a mage, she needed to be more practical, more rational.

The sun elf donned her hood and prepared to come back to the camp. By then she knew what she was going to do. She would give Xan a wide space and let him get used to the new situation. She didn't need him to hold her close. It was just to make her feel a bit better, but she could live without it. Maybe the barrier between them would falter after some time. She could wait. She wasn't a melodramatic adolescent to cry because she needs a hug. Not anymore.

Suddenly someone grabbed her forearm in a steel grip making her yelp in pain and she was turned forcefully to face her attacker. She raised her eyes to see a strange armor exposing a bare chest of its owner, metal covering the well-built shoulders and neck, and intense blue eyes looking at her with sadistic glee from the otherwise emotionless face.

"Come, godchild. It's time for more… experiments" a cold and detached voice from her memories echoed. Magic was stemming from his fingers radiating to her arm.

She screamed. She screamed with all her strength and despair, like she screamed back in her cage, putting everything that was left of her in the last thing she had - her scream. She stopped only when she choked, the cry ending abruptly. She fell on her knees aware she's alone by the pond. She pressed her forehead to the ground, circling her arms around her knees and cried her helpless tears.

How she hated the full moon nights and the visions, but what hurt her most was that it didn't take more than a split second to wipe out all her hopes, making her believe she was still in the dungeon, that all of this was a product of her mind, finally driven mad by the never-ending tortures and experiments. Deep inside she still couldn't accept that she was free and dreaded the moment of awakening. She knew Irenicus couldn't be here, he couldn't have found her, but she didn't believe it.

Someone was calling her name from the forest, but she didn't trust her ears anymore. All she wanted was to lie on the ground until the dawn came, ending this horrible time, prophesied by the full moon. Few people were coming closer to the clearing around the pool of water and she gathered all the reserves of will she had left trying to stand, leaning her back on a tree trunk, some primary instincts, present in every living adventurer, guiding her actions. She didn't manage to stand up, but she held her hands up ready to cast. And then her heart began to thump rapidly when she realized that there's someone on the other side of the tree behind her, someone surrounded with a chilling aura she knew so well. She lowered her palms. What was a point of resisting? She couldn't win against him.

Someone entered the clearing, holding something incredibly bright in his right hand. Upon seeing her sitting by the tree motionless with blank expression and face covered with tears, the newcomer hurried towards her, getting tangled in his torn robes along the way. Halfway from her his weapon fell from his grasp, but he never stopped, desperate to get to her as fast as mortally possible.

"Xan?" she muttered dazzled, when he finally reached her and she saw the look of absolute terror on his face.

"Thank you, Corellon" he whispered, taking her in his arms, squeezing all air from her lungs. But it didn't matter to her at the slightest. She could manage without the air for some time and it was much harder to live without him.