Gacens head was pounding what was going on he could hear what sounded like heavy machinery being operated nearby, why was it so god damn loud. Gacen opened his eyes properly and was quickly startled by what he saw; he could see the sky below him what was going on. He must be upside down that explained the backwards sky and his pounding headache but why was he? He felt a sudden drop as he began to fall but then was caught by something, what the hell was going on. He looked up and saw a chain tied around his leg attached to a CRANE! oh no what did he do. He needed to get out of this fast he looked down and was met with the bright crackling of a furnace… WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED. He could work it out later for now he had to get out of this situation he began swinging with the chain until he was able to grab it with his hand. He felt incredibly dizzy and lightheaded he definitely had a hangover but adrenalin was powering him through as he began to climb the chain to the crane.

As he reached the top of the crane his ears were pierced by blaster shots he then saw fly by his head. Well shit he'd pissed people off while blackout drunk this day was going great. As he shimmied across the crane trying his best to avoid blaster bolts he tried to remember what happened last night. He went to a… bar after he finished up the job but why he didn't… the realisation hit as he remembered what the robot had said, well that's a whole other can of worms to open later. He didn't have enough credits for more drinks so he… oh no Gacen remembered the sabacc game, the winning, then drinking and then nothing. "God dammit you stupid dumbass idiot what did you bet" he thought as he reached the edge of the crane.

He could now see with more context that he was in a scrapyard, he could see three individuals furiously shooting their blasters at him, poor quality blasters good he was dealing with amateurs. He made his way off the crane with all the grace of a Hutt trying to run a marathon quickly landing in some scrap with a crash. He popped up out of the scrap putting on his diplomacy gloves "fellas fellas why are you trying to kill me" this was a terrible idea but thugs love to hear themselves talk

A large weequay spoke up "you owe us a ship compadre now either you pay up or we shoot you here and now" yeesh he bet the ship nice going jackass bet your home why don't you

"now now i'm afraid i can't facilitate that but surely we can come to some arrangement" Gacen moved closer slowly he had a plan, granted a very stupid plan but still a plan

"no we have already talked enough we will not be swindled by you again" yeah that checks out why couldn't you just go home and brood like normal people. He continued to move towards them

"i apologise for anything that happened before now i'm afraid i wasn't myself" Gacen was now close enough he quickly reached into his pocket and let off a flash grenade. He was instanly blinded by a white light AHHHH SON OF A BITCH it hurt so bad Gacen had about 5 seconds less of flashbang than they did he had to act quick, he turned around despite his lack of vision and sprinted in the general direction of the exit as his vision returned he quickly activated his personal stealth field. They would be searching the compound for hours he had a good headstart.

Gacen began making his way back to town hopefully he could get away nice and quick. As he made his way back his mind began to wonder; god damn it why did he do any of this everything was going so well and his stupid idiot ass was pushed over the edge by just a name. What was Ash gonna say when she found out she already hated his drinking problem but she was trying so hard to help him and he was just being a shitty dumbass. Why couldn't he have just gone home like a normal person would it have been that hard no he was just too much of a stupid idiot fuck to do anything remotely challenging. He continued to spiral as he made his way back to the spaceport.

By the time he got back it was night he was hoping he could just sneak in maybe she wouldn't notice he could say he got caught up with a job opportunity it was technically kinda true. He unlocked the ship and began to head to his bunk as he did he heard a voice in the dark.

"where have you been" it was quiet and calm but he knew it wasn't really

"oh… um… hey Ash sorry i uhhh got caught up with a potential new business opportunity" why was he lying to her this didn't feel good

"ok well if that was the case you wouldn't mind letting me smell your breath" no no no that wasn't fair he couldn't control his mouth. Her arms were folded and she looked very tired she was probably waiting all night

"uhh i uh don't think that's uh necessary" he couldn't win this he was fucked he'd fucked it all up it was too late this was it

"really why not?" Ash looked so upset with him what was he supposed to do the truth was so bad

"ok FINE fine i got drunk and nearly died and nearly lost the ship and i hate myself for it there are you happy i'm a mess you're not you were right i was wrong" what was he supposed to say he had no idea

"no i'm not happy i can't believe you'd do this it's not even been a week Gacen" oh she was mad at him she didn't get mad easy

"look i'm sorry ok I got some news and I… I just didn't know what to do i couldn't deal with it all it was too much"

"so what you just got drunk like that is that seriously all it takes" hey cmon she didn't even know the context that wasn't fair

"look this isn't easy for me you know it's not really even a choice I've had so much shit constantly going on in my head and my past it's really difficult for me to deal with this stuff all at once I need something to null it all"

" I KNOW i know you've been through a lot you're constantly telling me that you're constantly telling me it's so hard for you well newsflash Gacen you're not the only person with problems" He knew that but it wasn't the same right?

"yeah obviously i know that but it's not the same. Why, are you hiding something some big dark secret, something that weighs down on your soul, something you can never forget the knowledge that no matter what you do you keep hurting people i don't think so" yeah she doesn't get it

"NO OF COURSE NOT but i still have trouble like everyone does, when we got captured i lost my team, the only ever family and yeah believe it or not it weighs on me and you have never ONCE asked me if i'm ok" oh i see how it is

"oh right ok so you weren't doing this to 'help me' were you, you just wanted someone to talk to it's got nothing to do with my pain, everything I lost, everything i have to deal with" Gacen wasn't sure about that but he needed to win the argument

"WHAT no i just wanted my friend back i wanted you to be ok because you're the only person who makes me feel better when the whole world feels foreign and excuse me for wanting you to get better" no no no this wasn't right

"WELL little bit of a hard truth for you Ash this IS ME the sad depressed alcoholic fuck it's ALWAYS BEEN ME but i hid it because i thought there was something worth living for but i was wrong ok so what's the point in a brave face. This is who i am the asshole the guy who doesn't remember how he got chained up to a crane and doesn't care because at least he could live with himself for a few hours and you can either get used to it or you can leave" there beat that

Ash was staring at him fuming with tears in her eyes "fine" she walked out of the room. Hey he won Gacen stood there for a second in silence…god damn it you stupid fucking asshole what was that shit that wasn't helpful all you did was drive away the only person who you hadn't yet driven away, the only friend you had left. You stupid idiot asshole she could really leave this time why the fuck did you do any of that. It doesn't matter any way your poison has already reached her even if she recovers from this and forgives you you've already ruined it. You'll drive her away just like you drive everyone away with your poisonous toxic shit you should be surprised it took this long she should've been driven away already really why would anyone put up with your shit that's why Risha never looked for you, that's why your father abandoned you, why your mother died, that's why your sister hates you, how are you going to drive Ash away huh how are you going to make her despise you huh you're poison is already in HER IT'S NOT GOING TO BE LONG BEFORE SHE GIVES UP ON YOU WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO HUH WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHAT AR-SHUT UP!

Gacen stood sweating he should go talk to her at least salvage what he can. He made his way to the entrance to try and find her putting the bad thoughts behind him. He saw Ash was sitting on the ships stairs "um hey i'm sorry about all the shit i said i'm a big jerk" he sat down next to her why was she still here?

She turned to him she had clearly been crying "i'm sorry Gacen" what no that wasn't right "i'm sorry if I don't understand what you've been through i know I'm not the best at reading people I should be mor-"

"no no no stop Ash it's ok if i've been shitty or acted shitty that's because i'm a shitty person don't blame yourself for my fucked up life it's not your fault"

"i'm sorry i've been pushing you so hard i just miss you ya know the world gets hard without your whimsy" she leaned in to Gacens side he put her arm around her

"Ash?"

"Yeah"

"why didn't you leave" Gacen didn't understand why she'd stay with his well everything

"i tried to but i couldn't because you shouldn't give up on someone halfway that would be worse than not helping, i'd do irreparable damage to you and i couldn't live with that" Gacen was surprised she was so willing to put up with his bullshit he couldn't understand why no matter how hard he tried. "Gacen do you ever want to talk about your issues"

"what do you mean" Gacen didn't like where this was going

"have you ever told anyone what's going on in your head like you did while yelling" Gacen racked his brain

"i don't think so no" was that bad had he been doing it wrong

"would you like to it could help" Gacen didn't like discussing his past but Ash was right he had to deal with it at some point

"sure i guess but first i gotta ask you something"

"what" Ash looked up at him wiping the tears from her eyes

"are you ok"

"no" she let out weakly Gacen felt so bad how had he never asked her

"i'm sorry i was so selfish i should've asked if you were ok a long time ago"

"thanks Gacen"

"no problem Ash" he put his head on hers and they sat in silence for a few minutes more

"what do you mean about losing the ship" Ash spoke up

"oh shit we gotta go i pissed off some people big time" he completely forgot

Ash chuckled "alright i'll start the engine"…