23. Countertop Counterargument
Date Written: February 10, 2019
Date Posted: August 10, 2019
Characters: Veneziano, Romano
Summary: Romano gets stuck doing the dishes. Veneziano gets stuck eating his favorite dessert of all time.
Notes: Canonically, Veneziano loves gelato, but he gets an ache in his stomach for eating too much.
Romano sighed, already tired of his younger brother's antics.
It had been ten minutes since he had lost the argument concerning the question of who was going to wash the dishes (just how many times a week did Romano have to wash those damn things?). It had been exactly nine minutes since Veneziano had filled a bowl with some homemade gelato. Eight since he had decided that he would rather sit on the kitchen counter right beside the sink than in the dining room like any other civilized person would. And it had been seven minutes since his younger, immature, ugly brother had decided to hum some nonsensical tune while swinging his legs and eating his favorite snack.
After over a century of living together with him, Romano knew what the idiot was doing.
"If you don't stop…" the southern Italian threatened.
"What?" The northern half of their peninsula whined pettily. "I'm not even doing anything!"
Romano paused in the middle of scrubbing one of their pans. Slowly, and without much emotion, he turned to his brother and said, "I know exactly what you're doing and it's not going to work."
When Veneziano refused to reply in an adult manner (he just noisily slurped another spoonful of gelato), Romano flicked a few suds in his younger brother's direction. That had resulted in his brother squawking like a headless chicken before Romano stopped attacking him.
"Fra—"
"You deserved it." Another sud joined the one that rested on Veneziano's thigh. "Now get off the counter so I don't have to look at your ugly face anymore." He was already jealous that Veneziano got to eat his favorite dessert when he had to wash those thrice damned dishes. That bastard.
For a little while after that, it seemed as if the younger Italian personification would comply. Veneziano had launched himself off the counter and padded back to the dining room table. When all he could hear was the sound of obnoxious humming, Romano quickly busied himself with beginning the rinsing part of the process. Unfortunately for him, the sound of rushing water did well to mask the sound of incoming footsteps.
And then, when he was about to let all the suds down the drain, he felt a cold nose nuzzle the back of his neck. A startled shriek escaped Romano's mouth, but he abruptly stopped when he felt something colder parting through his lips.
It was a spoonful of his brother's gelato—not too icy, but firm enough to not have melted.
After his initial shock, Romano brought his elbow down behind him to where he guessed his brother's stomach was. "What the hell was that, you bastard?"
"Ow! I was just trying to help you!"
"With what?" Romano smacked his brother's face, ignoring how he was rewarded with a tearful gaze. "Geeze, you sneak up on me with that cold nose of yours—did you stick your nose into the freezer?—and then you start shoving shit into my face!" One of his hands accidentally dropped the plate he had been rinsing, causing a clatter on the counter. "Now look! I might have cracked one—"
Another spoonful of gelato had passed through his lips while his brother silently laughed at him.
Despite himself, Romano basically inhaled the spoonful alongside another helping that Veneziano thoughtfully placed on his tongue.
"You can't just bribe me—" Another spoonful was placed on his tongue. Romano swallowed hard before continuing with his tirade. "—with gelato just to calm me down."
"Then how come you've calmed down now?"
Romano stole Veneziano's spoon and began to gorge himself on Veneziano's sweet treat.
He didn't want to answer that particular question.