Kyradia looked out at the lush green of Odessen and took a deep breath, she'd always liked it here up on the balcony, she could feel the wind on her face and see the weirdly calm landscape that she had learned so much in. Kyradia sighed how had things gotten so bad about a month ago everything seemed fine but now it was all wrong, not only that but she had openly cried for the first time since she could remember. Kyradia still didn't understand why Ashara still wanted to help her but she'd accept any help she could with… this issue. But how was she supposed to hide it now Zash would find it eventually, maybe she already had Kyradia had to stop her it was the only way to protect herself. Kyradia tensed up thinking of how close Zash had come they had been on Dathomir who knows what could have happened if she hadn't stopped her, she didn't know if she could force Zash out again and if so how would she stop her. And then there was Ashara, she was bound to want to know what was going on but Kyradia just couldn't she knew she just couldn't do it. For now Kyradia should just focus on finding Zash and stopping her, who knows what she was doing now. How could she even begin to track Zash? she really didn't want to try and sense her that might strengthen whatever bond they had made.
Kyradia took a deep breath this was all too much she just needed to relax, suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder
Kyradia span around startled to see Ashara looking worried "hey hey Kyradia calm down it's just me" Kyradia tried her best to relax
Kyradia looked away "uh sorry guess I'm a little on edge" Ashara nodded smiling Kyradia would never understand why Ashara gave her another chance after all the ones she'd wasted but again wouldn't object to the help.
"I think that's fair given the uh situation" Ashara seemed like she was holding back was she still a little angry?
Kyradia sighed "yeah it uh kinda sucks" Ashara nodded "um sorry I kinda broke down in front of you I'm uh not sure what came over me. I thought I was stronger than that" Kyradia was so embarrassed she didn't even know she was capable of breaking down anymore
Ashara gave an exasperated smile "Kyradia the fact you broke down does not make you weak don't you dare think that" Kyradia frowned that didn't seem right "honestly it's ok, bottling up something like that can be so much worse" Kyradia guessed she had a point she did feel better since
Kyradia rubbed her forehead "I guess" she turned to Ashara "I'm still so sorry for well everything you know that right?" Ashara stayed silent for a long second
"yeah I know Ky" Ashara fidgeted awkwardly "Kyradia can I ask you something?" Ashara seemed rather reluctant asking the question, almost nervous
Kyradia frowned "uh sure go for it" she really really hoped it wasn't the question she thought it was
Ashara swallowed hard "when you were uh upset you said 'she's going to find out what they did to me' what did you mean did someone do something to you?" Kyradia's heart sank a pit filling in her stomach
Kyradia's breath quickened "uh I don't well uh well see I uh I… I can't t-talk about this" Kyradia tried her best to clear her head trying hard to keep it out of her head
Ashara frowned "Kyradia I promise I won't judge you or think of you differently because of it" Kyradia could feel herself sweating suddenly feeling light headed
Kyradia tried her best to catch her breath "uh no it's not that Ashara I really just can't" she couldn't think about this she just couldn't not now.
Ashara looked at Kyradia concerned "Kyradia trust me you'll feel better if you jus-" Kyradia interrupted she had to
Kyradia shouted "NO ASHARA I WON'T, it's not because I DON'T TRUST YOU, I can't because IF I DO I'll give myself a panic attack that will send me into the medbay" as she finished her breath was shaky and she could feel her whole body shaking. Kyradia took a long deep breath looking to Ashara who's jaw hung open "I-I'm sorry I-I really just can't" Kyradia did her best to not cry again.
Ashara stayed quiet for a long second she probably hated her again, but then her expression softened "I'm uh I'm sorry I didn't realise it was that bad" Kyradia could see tears in her eyes, Ashara wrapped Kyradia in a sudden hug "how long have you been dealing with this?" Kyradia went limp in the hug it was somewhat nice she guessed
Kyradia sighed "since before you knew me" Kyradia could feel Ashara's tears against her shoulder as she squeezed tighter "I've never even told anyone this much" even this much was giving her a minor panic attack
Ashara looked up at her "not even Andronikos?" Kyradia took a long deep breath there were many times in the past where she had tried every time she had failed.
Kyradia frowned solemnly "no not even Andronikos I have tried though" Ashara let go of Kyradia looking away
Ashara stayed silent for a bit "I'm not gonna ask you what happened if it's too much but you can't hold on to it forever, it's not how to deal with pain" Kyradia nodded she knew Ashara was right but it wasn't that simple
Kyradia sighed looking out at Odessen "Ashara this isn't in my past it's still happening, what happened to me it didn't stop and I don't think it ever will" Kyradia had always wondered if she could get rid of it for a long time she hadn't wanted to and now she did she was worried it wasn't possible.
Ashara took Kyradia's hand "well you're not going to face it alone anymore I'm here I promise" Ashara looked away "maybe I judged you too harshly I never thought you were dealing with so much" Kyradia frowned ok that wasn't fair
Kyradia turned to Ashara "no no no, don't let me off Ashara I chose to do those bad things I deserve to be judged harshly you were right to" Ashara nodded
Ashara sighed "ok" she hesitated "you said Zash was trying to find out what happened to you?" Kyradia nodded "so how are we gonna stop her?" Kyradia let out a little smile
Kyradia stroked her chin "I'm uh not sure I can try and sense her but I don't know if I'd be able to focus without consequences" Kyradia was worried about the idea of sensing Zash she could only imagine the connection was a two way street
Ashara pondered the idea for a second "well we are in a place of strong force users maybe someone here could help, like Lana or that Voss Lady Sana-Rae" Kyradia raised her eyebrow that did give her an idea actually
Kyradia smiled "maybe but I think I can think of a better person" Ashara frowned clearly unclear on Kyradia's plan
later…
Kyradia made her way up the hill with Ashara close in tow who was still confused at Kyradia's plan "so the Hero of Tython who was lost for like 8 years is just suddenly here?" Kyradia chuckled to herself it was a little sudden admittedly
"well yeah Lana found him or something and they were kind of a thing" Ashara's eyes widened as they reached the top of the hill
Ashara frowned "they were a thing?" Kyradia nodded turning forward to see Dzûsa in his usual spot deep in meditation.
After a minute he turned to them "ah hello again Kyradia looks like you and Ashara patched things up" Ashara frowned looking a little starstruck
Kyradia nodded "well uh somewhat to be honest it's mainly because she's too kind to me" that was pretty true to be honest, Dzûsa smiled looking happy to be of help
Ashara leant in to Kyradia "um how does the Hero of Tython know my name?" Kyradia was a little surprised by all Ashara's excitement was he really that big of a deal Kyradia had saved the galaxy too
Kyradia whispered back "yeah he gave me some advice before we had our little talk" Ashara gasped looking between them
Ashara whispered "and you didn't think to tell me!" Kyradia frowned had Ashara always been a fan of his?
Kyradia looked between them "I didn't think it was a big deal, look be cool ok we need his help" Ashara nodded trying her best to look professional
Dzûsa cleared his throat "uh did you need something?" Kyradia turned back to him how was she gonna phrase this
Kyradia held her chin "ok well um slight development my old sith master has a direct line to my brain and vice versa, and we want to find her before she finds a uh secret in my brain. So I want to uh well sense where she is, but I wanna make sure I'm up to it so we came to you because you're good at that stuff" was that a lot in one sentence it kinda felt like too much
Dzûsa frowned "well that's certainly a lot to unpack but I can at least help you with the sensing, just lik before with the object" he gestured for them to sit down, Ashara promptly sat down Kyradia followed sighing great more meditation. "ok lets join hands" Ashara took Dzûsa and Kyradia's hands quickly
Kyradia frowned "um what's that going to do" she didn't think holding hands in harmony was really what she needed right now
Dzûsa chuckled "first it's good to show our support but more importantly if things get too bad I may be able to help you out of whatever is going on" Kyradia sighed taking their hands she guessed it couldn't hurt given Zash's track record
Ashara spoke up "I can also try to help you out Ky" Kyradia frowned at Ashara wow Dzûsa had really rattled her she was acting so excitable. Ashara noticed Kyradia's look and tried to brush it off
Kyradia took a deep breath remembering what Dzûsa had said about focussing on an object but applying it to this situation, she closed her eyes focussing in on that Milirian.
Kyradia could here Ashara speak up "so nice to meet you by the way Mr Dzûsa" she couldn't help but chuckle a bit
Kyradia thought focussing on the Milirian would be a bit less probable to Zash's sight but she wasn't 100% confident it would make a difference, she felt herself pulled across the galaxy to a ship deep in the Outer Rim circling a dark green planet. The Milirian and Zash sat in the cockpit, Zash had certainly changed up the blondes look, she held a strange bit of parchment in her hand.
The Milirian spoke up "ok here we are Zash, Jagomir what do we need from here?" what was this a list of supplies?
Zash peered at the list "it appears it's something called the Dream shim-" she trailed off suddenly Zash's vision shifted darting to Kyradia "excuse me Terri I'm afraid I have to meditate." Kyradia felt her heart jump out her chest as Zash left the room she had to get out of this before Zash caught her.
Kyradia tried to let go of the image but before she did "oh no you don't missy you wanna spy on me I best get something in return" Kyradia felt an intense force slam into her side and suddenly she was somewhere else lying flat on the floor.
Zash stood over her smiling "well well well aren't you tenacious, trying to spy back" she bent down to Kyradia "you know you could have just asked me what I was doing I'm not hiding" Kyradia snarled at her standing up. Kyradia tried her best to push Zash away but she couldn't seem to even move her "oh Kyradia you prompted this you only have yourself to blame" she turned to look around the chamber "where are we this time anyway?" Kyradia recognised the room instantly at least it was less telling. They stood behind the large chairs of the dark council she could see the members of the council sitting down seemingly debating something. She noted Arkous still sat in his chair so this must have been early days for her.
Zash cackled with laughter "ah the Dark council chambers you know it's a real travesty I never got one of those seats I could have done great things" why couldn't she leave this place Dzûsa said he would try to help her out if she lost control. Zash peered at the seat in front of them "oh and who's is this" she peered around to see a younger Kyradia sitting quietly "oh of course hello Darth Nox how's the chair I was supposed to have feel" Zash began to try and poke at Kyradia's prior form but only passed through "well that's no fun".
Kyradia snarled "stop, get out of my head so I can kill you properly" Zash chuckled to herself turning to Kyradia
Zash smiled "oh believe me I can't wait to see you again you'll get to see what I've learnt since you've been gone" Kyradia frowned what she's learnt?
suddenly the quiet murmuring of the dark council became much louder "presenting the Emperors Wrath" Kyradia's eyes went wide as she felt her skin crawl oh no it was this moment
Kyradia watched as the female Ratattaki walked into the chamber adorned in those over the top nightsister robes and that trademark glower, both Zash and Kyradia saw as the past Kyradia gasped in shock a furious look taking her face.
Zash raised her eyebrow at Kyradia "well she certainly struck a cord with you, was it because of her heritage" Kyradia's eyes went wide did Zash know? how could she possibly? Zash cackled to herself "oh Kyradia you are so easy to get to" her expression changed getting serious "I went to Dathomir" no she couldn't "I may have made some new friends well friend" no no no Zash couldn't work with them "she's teaching me so much, you can't hide your precious secret forever I'm on to you" Kyradia began to breath heavily "and the nightsisters well lets just say we have an arrangement" Kyradia felt her mind begin to race she couldn't let this happen she had to stop her.
Zash was about to speak again but Kyradia suddenly felt herself pulled out of the vision returning to the hill on Odessen, she squeezed Dzûsa and Ashara hands tightly hyperventilating.
Ashara spoke up "Kyradia a-are you ok we couldn't break you out of it I'm so sorry" that was a loaded question
Kyradia looked up hair draping down over her face "I'm uh ok, but we have to go to Jagomir NOW, Zash knows too much already" Ashara nodded wincing a little from Kyradia's tight grip. If Zash knew about the nightsisters it was only a matter of time before something went very wrong Zash had no idea what she was getting into…