Marie was waiting on the platform when she got back. She looked intently at Sam, but didn't say anything, seeming to sense that the Earth woman needed to be alone. Her eyes did follow her as Sam headed back to her room.
The alien woman then turned her face towards the trail, looking anxiously for her patient.
She relaxed slightly as Jack appeared, walking as if he suddenly felt all seventy of his years.
Marie frowned, and stepped off the platform and walked to meet him. She took his arm, and led him back to the lounge chair.
"I'm okay," he told Marie. "Just a bit tired, but it was nice to do some walking. I'm getting stiff."
The alien woman continued to stand there, holding on to Jack's wrist.
He looked up at her and smiled." You really don't need to worry. I'm much better and no, I didn't get too tired. You worry too much!"
Marie withdrew her hand, and smiled, although the smile was not as bright as usual. She glanced towards the building and then back at Jack.
"She's fine," he said, not looking up at her. "I think she wanted to go rest for a while. She's spent weeks looking after me."
He fidgeted for a few seconds, gave a sigh and finally stood up. "I think I'll go back and have a rest too," he said. "Is that thing coming with me?" he pointed at the hovering "doohickey".
Marie smiled and motioned for him to proceed. With a shrug Jack headed back to his room.
Sam shut her door behind her, and leaned up against it, breathing as if she'd just run a race. She finally stood and practically ran to her bed, where she threw herself down, her head buried in her pillow.
She then proceeded to sob like she hadn't since her mother had died over forty years before.
She sobbed as if her world had ended – which it felt like it had.
She sobbed for all she had lost – all she had thrown away.
She sobbed for the life that lay ahead of her – bleak, and without love.
She sobbed for the loneliness and heartache that felt as if they were all that were left of her.
She sobbed for Jack – the man she loved with all her heart, whose love she had killed.
So consumed was she by her grief, that she didn't hear the door open, or the alien woman step inside and stare at her for the longest time. She didn't see the tear that ran down Marie's face – her expression one of sadness and heartbreak. She didn't see her turn, and leave the room.
Sam lay there forever, until exhaustion overtook her and she calmed. Now, instead of sobbing, she lay there quietly. She turned over, so that she was looking at the ceiling. She allowed her mind to go blank – no longer able to dwell on the pain.
She knew it would return, and she knew that she would have to think of what to do. As much as they had agreed to stay friends, Sam really didn't know if she could bear to keep seeing him. Her heart could only take so much.
Soon she slept – her body, mind and soul wrung out with all the turmoil and hopelessness of the day.
After leaving Sam's room, the alien woman moved to Jack's room. She opened the door to check on him. Like Sam, he didn't look up or seem to realize she was there. This gave her the opportunity to watch him.
Another tear ran down her face. She could see his anguish, his despair, and she suffered for the humans. Again, as she had done before, she quietly let herself out of the room.
Sam had a restless night, and woke up before the sun. She felt tired and sore and gritty from all the crying. She knew she couldn't face Jack, so stayed in her room. Her meals were delivered to her, quietly and quickly. Other than that she didn't see anyone nor did she leave her room that day, except to go to the bathroom.
She spent another evening crying, and another restless night. She knew eventually she'd have to face him again, but for now she needed to grieve alone.
She wondered how she was going to deal with him – and was horrified to realize she was afraid to see him or to speak with him. She couldn't bear having to pretend that everything was back to the way it had been before her confession.
With that thought spurring her on, she jumped out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She cleaned up quickly, donned a fresh robe, then grabbed her make-shift swimming suit and a towel and hurried out of the room and to the beach.
The sun had not yet come up as she made her way to the water's edge.
She knew she was being stupid and irresponsible. None of the aliens were around – they were most likely still sleeping. She knew it wasn't wise to swim alone, but right now she didn't care. Her despair was too great to allow for common sense to moderate her actions.
She quickly changed into her short robe, and immediately walked into the water, until it was deep enough, and then she dove right in.
The coolness of the water took her breath away. That, and the still darkness of pre-dawn fit her mood perfectly.
For the next hour she swam as vigorously as she could along the coastline. She knew she was overdoing it, but didn't care. The more tired she could make herself, the easier it would be to forget. At least, that's what she told herself.
Once she'd come to the end of her endurance, she made her way – slowly – out of the water. She grabbed her towel and gave herself a fierce rub. She quickly changed back into the full robe, and began heading back to her room.
Before she'd gotten too far, however, she stopped. She didn't want to go back to her room, and she certainly didn't want to see Jack. She turned around, and stared out at the water. She knew then what she wanted to do.
Hiding her wet towel and suit behind some bushes, she turned and strode back down the trail to the beach. Once she arrived, she turned left, and began walking parallel to the water.
She had no idea where she was going, but that didn't matter. If she stayed by the ocean she couldn't get lost – but she could get away from people. She just hoped she could get away from her thoughts, at least for a little while.
She moved steadily along the beach, listening to the waves, but not listening to the voice of reason that was telling her she was being foolish. Instead she continued to move to the unknown .
By late morning she was tired and hungry and very, very thirsty. She also acknowledged that she was a fool.
She couldn't run away, because the pain and heartache were inside her. She carried them wherever she went.
But what about Jack? she asked herself. What about him? He's made it clear how he feels for you – and that's friendship. What kind of person would you be if you refused that?
A terrible one, she admitted to herself. But she didn't want to be just his friend. Unfortunately that was all he was offering. She had to decide, once and for all, if friendship with Jack was worth the pain his presence would bring.
She sighed, and kept going. She was going to have to find a way off of this planet, and find a way home, she suddenly realized. She wouldn't survive being here and seeing him every day – so she'd have to find a way to get back to Earth.
As she walked, she pondered whether to go a bit further, or to return. She glanced up and realized it couldn't be much later than noon. She'd gotten up so early that she'd covered a lot of territory over the last couple of hours.
In the end she decided she'd go just a bit further. The path she was walking curved around to her left, and she was curious what lay beyond the point ahead. "Probably more of the same," she murmured. It wasn't too much further, so she kept going.
It took her another half hour, but finally she rounded the point. And she stopped dead and then let out a soft whistle.
So they were on an island – and across an inlet of azure water, lay a large city. She looked at it in awe. It was beautiful – the buildings intricate weavings of metal and other materials she couldn't identify. She could see that the designs mimicked the healing globe that had been above Jack since they'd arrived.
It was a city like she had never seen before – elegant, almost magical. What made it even more beautiful was that the air was clear and the sunlight sparkled on the water, casting a lovely glow of light over the buildings.
The island looked as if it were no more than a mile away. The straight in between was quiet, except for a few craft sitting quietly in the water. She suddenly saw some movement, and discovered that there was one craft that was moving – and it was moving quickly. It appeared to be hovering over the water, travelling smoothly towards the shore of the mainland.
She wondered briefly if it had come from the island, and if so, where the landing point was located. She hated not being able to communicate so she could ask the aliens.
Well, that must be the way home, she thought. All they had to do was make it to the city and hopefully find a Gate. If there was a gate. They had no idea how they had been transported here – it could have been by ship.
That thought had her looking up, to see if she could see any type of air craft. But the sky was clear and blue – with nothing flying above that she could see.
She stared at the city for a few more moments, wishing that Daniel was here with her. He'd love this, she thought. It truly was one of the most interesting and beautiful cities she had seen.
With a sigh, she knew it was time she was getting back. She'd been gone for too long, and everyone would be getting worried. Maybe Jack would be relieved, an unbidden thought popped up – but then she scoffed. He would never want anything bad to happen to her, she knew. He was an honorable man. Even if he no longer loved her, she knew he did care about her.
Feeling the sadness and depression returning, she gave one final look to the city and then turned and began to retrace her steps.
She was really tired by this time, after a poor night sleep, a vigorous swim, and a long walk. And of course she hadn't had anything to eat or drink. "You really are an idiot, Sam," she muttered to herself. She'd kill for a tall glass of the alien fruit juice.
It took her over two hours to make it back. She sighed in relief when she saw her beach and sped up slightly. She really needed a drink.
Just then she saw two of the aliens – she couldn't recognize them at this distance – hurrying towards here. When they got to her they stopped, an extremely worried look on their faces.
"Hi," she smiled at them. "I'm back and I'm fine."
They regarded her closely, and then one of them nodded. She realized she hadn't seen either of them before, and wondered if they had been staying at the center, or whether they had just arrived.
She smiled again and kept walking. The two aliens fell in behind her, which was a little creepy, although she figured they had just been sent out to find her.
She moved up the path from the beach, on the way to her room. She stopped to grab her suit and towel, but noticed they were gone. She suddenly had a sinking feeling that she may have caused more trouble than she had intended by disappearing. She should have known better. Oh well, it was too late now.
As she came out from the trees, she could see Jack standing on the platform with the chairs. She could tell the moment when he saw her, as he seemed to sag forward, and place his hands on the back of one of the lounge chairs, almost as if he needed its support.
A brief second later he stood tall and then moved quickly, practically jumping down the stairs and hurrying to meet her. She stopped and waited, thinking randomly, that he was moving much better than he had been.
"Where the hellhave you been!" he yelled at her. "We've been worried sick! We didn't know if you'd drowned or been kidnapped. What is wrong with you? How could you be so irresponsible to go running off like that!"
She was taken aback by his anger and stood frozen, as his words lashed over her. As his tirade continued, she could feel her hackles rise and the anger form in the pit of her stomach.
"You're the one who keeps telling me you're a General, but you certainly don't act like it!" he continued on. "You behaved like a raw recruit - the most idiotic, selfish, asinine, ri -"
"Stop!" she said sharply. "What right do you have to talk to me like this! I don't report to you – not here. Nor are you my father – or in fact anything to me. You have no right -"
"Right? You dare talk about my right! You scared the hell out of me and our hosts – we've all been searching high and low for you for hours. What the hell does my right have to do with anything? Don't you care about anyone but yourself?"
As Jack continued to shout at her – she glanced over to the aliens, who were standing there shocked, their eyes huge in their faces. Even if they couldn't hear or understand him, they certainly knew that he was angry.
Sam stopped listening to Jack's words, instead thinking about why he was so angry. She realized that it wasn't really anger – okay – it was anger – but it was anger based in fear. He thought something terrible had happened to her and after relief had come anger.
Suddenly she realized how truly stupid she had been. She would have been equally as angry if anyone had pulled something like this on her. She closed her eyes briefly, cursing herself, but knowing that her actions had come from her despair and hurt.
Jack took a breath, still angry and upset. Sam looked at him and felt an unexpected wave of tenderness wash over her. A feeling that was completely inappropriate, considering his anger. But it proved to her that he did care – even if he didn't love her. She felt her eyes fill with tears, and wanted to kick herself. She hated that she was so emotional.
He had opened his mouth, to say something more, but before he had a chance she spoke.
"I'm sorry," she said gently, her voice breaking. "You have every right to be angry. What I did was stupid and thoughtless. I didn't mean to be either – I just needed a walk – and then I kept going. I didn't plan to be gone so long." She looked away, knowing that if she kept looking at him she'd probably burst into tears – which she did not want to do.
"I am really sorry, Sir," she told him – rather incongruously after she'd just denied reporting to him here and now. "Like I said, I just – needed to get away for a while."
When he didn't speak, she took a breath, said "I'm so sorry," one more time, and then headed to her room. She needed to drink, eat and then she was going to try and sleep. She was completely and thoroughly exhausted, but knew it was more emotional than physical, even after her long walk. She also expected she was going to cry again, and gave a hiccup of laughter. She'd had enough crying to last a lifetime. She just wished her body got that message soon.
She'd made it almost to the building, when she sensed someone come up behind her. She slowed and stopped, glancing over her shoulder. It was Jack and he was frowning.
"Carter," he said as he came up to her. He reached out his hand, but then let it drop before touching her. "Look – I'm - sorry I got so angry. I was frightened and – when I saw you walk out all relaxed looking – well," he shrugged.
"I understand," she nodded, "I'm sure I would have felt the same."
"Are you okay?" he asked, for the first time sounding tentative and unsure – a dramatic shift from a moment ago.
"I'm fine," she told him, as calmly as she could, "although I really need something to drink and eat."
He nodded. "I'll ask one of the aliens to bring you something right away."
"Thank you," she nodded and turned back to the building, but stopped again at his voice.
"Do you want to join me outside? I can have them bring your lunch up to the platform?"
She closed her eyes and bit her lip, glad he was behind her and couldn't see her expression. "Uh – thank you Sir, but I think I'll just eat in my room."
He didn't respond, and a moment later she had closed the door of her bedroom behind her. Once more, her pillow was anointed with her tears.
Only the aliens saw Jack standing frozen, his eyes on the door in front of him. He stood there for a long, long time.