The Reason why
A McRoll Fan-fiction..

Part of the Winds of Change/One for Sorrow Series.

Christmas Eve 2020
Rollins-McGarrett Home

There was one thing that Catherine wanted to give Steve for Christmas more then anything in the world and here she was about to give it to him.. She was filled with nerves and excitement from the moment she remembered the tradition they started the year before.. They could give each other one present on Christmas Eve.. It was how her own family spent Christmas Eve and from what Steve told her, it was how his family spent Christmas Eve as well.

She had been back in Hawaii full time for over a year now, and when she came home with Steve to bury his mother next to his father, she had already finished her contract with the CIA and resigned.. Her life wasn't as meaningful as she thought it would be and knowing how Doris felt about regret, she couldn't let herself regret walking away from Steve again. She felt settled and happy being back in Hawaii, and her mother had decided to move as well to be closer to her daughter.

Catherine had lost her father the year between when Joe died and when Doris died and though her father died of natural causes, he had cancer, she knew that it was only a matter of time before her time was up and that she would have lived for nothing.. She didn't want to spend years with an agency that gave back nothing, that gave you nothing to show for the years of service.

There was no regrets now as she was about to share something with Steve that she knew he had been secretly wanting for years now.. They were engaged to be married on Valentines Day and it had been one of the happiest days of her life thus far, but this was going to be a very close second..

2020 had been a strange year, the year of the pandemic.. The year that basically shut down the whole world in one foul swoop.. Still, Steve and Catherine managed to find a way through the chaos.. Just because the world shut down didn't mean that the criminals did, and so the team still had work to do, they either worked from their own separate offices or worked from home and video called each other when they needed to..

Their wedding had been originally planned for the 4th July, not wanting anything over the top or big but when covid-19 hit, they had to post-pone the wedding as they didn't want to risk their loved ones and friends by being in a small space in close proximity. It didn't change how Steve and Catherine went about their daily lives though, married or not married, they were solid and happy..

They both were tested regularly and did everything they were supposed to do, and so far both had continued to remain negative for covid-19, though a couple of weeks into December, Catherine began to feel a little off, nauseous and just a little run down.. She didn't think much of it, but went in to have a covid-test anyway.. She didn't have a runny nose or a fever or cough but she just couldn't shake this feeling of being ill or starting to come down with something..

When the Doctor rang her back to inform her that her results were back in, she was surprised to be asked to come back into the office.. She knew that if she was covid positive, she wouldn't be allowed in the surgery so she knew it couldn't have been that.. "When was your last period Catherine?", was the Doctor's first question once they greeted each other, both wearing masks in the office. Feeling that was a bit of an odd question but deciding to humour the doctor anyway, she answered, "the 20th November, why?", she asked her curious, though as she thought about it, she had a feeling now why..

Quickly calculating the dates, she realised she was late for her next one.. She had been so busy with work she hadn't even realised she was overdue for her next period.. The Doctor smile as she watched Catherine figure it out in her head.. "I think you have just figured out the why yourself, Congratulations Catherine, you are pregnant".

She was stunned… Pregnant.. It wasn't as though they had been actively trying but the last year since they had been home in Hawaii, Catherine and Steve did talk about her going off the pill and just seeing what happened, they had only made the decision for her to stop the pill after they got engaged. She couldn't help the huge smile that enveloped her face.. "And I was wondering what to get Steve for Christmas.. Now I think I have the perfect gift".

Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she smiled softly.. That was around a week and a half ago, and she kept it in the whole time, not telling anyone including Steve.. When he asked, she just said she had a bit of a stomach bug and that her covid test had been negative.

Now was the evening.. It was her early Christmas gift to him, the pregnancy test she took once she got home from the Doctors because she wanted to use the pregnancy test as part of her reveal to him.. and she also had brought a little onesie that had the colors of the American flag on it, and the words 'Land of the free because my Daddy is brave' on it and along with it was a baby blanket with the words, 'following in my Mommy and Daddy's footsteps', and three different footprints, one set was a man's, another a woman's and another a little baby's footprints with the Navy logo printed on it.

Wrapped up in a small box, they were sitting out on the lanai, Christmas Day was going to be different for them all this year, usually they did the whole big Christmas get together at their place or even at Kammi's shrimp truck, but because the island was still experiencing high numbers of covid cases, they couldn't be together this year.. Instead they decided to all have a zoom get together, and spend the day together that way, people could come and go out of the chat as they pleased.

Having just finished opening her present from Steve, she was in awe of what he got.. He had managed to get her father's dog tags from her mother who knew that they belonged with Catherine and was happy for Steve to gift it to her, it just showed her that he was thoughtful and a truly amazing man. "Thank you Steve, this means so much to me". She had always been close to her father and now he was gone, it was hard for her, and Steve knew what it was like, having already lost his father.

Handing him the present she was giving to him, she couldn't wait to see his face when he opened it and realised what it was. Her stomach was a little unsettled with nerves, she knew he wouldn't be angry or upset, after all they had both decided for her to go off the pill and just see what happened, but now was the moment.. The moment both of the dreams would come true.

It was interesting watching him, he saw the blanket first and she wasn't sure if he noticed the writing on it right away, and he put it to the side, and then he saw the pregnancy test sitting in the middle between the baby blanket and the onesie.. It was as if the whole world stopped for that moment and only they existed.. She could see the exact moment he realised what it was, the way his body froze, the misty way his eyes got, the breath he had to take in and let out slowly, and as he picked it up, and looked at it closer up, making sure he was reading it right and then looked up from the test to gaze into her eyes, she could see the tears already falling..

"Are you sure?", he whispered in a low husky voice, his heart racing inside his chest.. They were already sitting close, so she was close enough to take his hand in hers, and she smiled as she nodded in confirmation, "Yes, You're gonna be a Daddy", her own tears falling freely down her cheeks as he choked up at hearing her say that word to him.. It was a word he never thought he hear in relation to himself, but he was finally getting his dream..

Looking back down into the box, he spotted the onesie and pulled it out, and opened it up, smiling and chuckling as he read it.. He put everything carefully back into the box, his hands shaking and then lifted the box from his lap to the table and then pulled Catherine over to his lap, she settled into his lap easily, his hand going to her stomach as soon as he could. "Thank you Cath", she smiled, gazing into his eyes, she didn't need to ask him why, she knew why he was saying thank you to her, "No.. Thank you Sailor.. Thank you for my one constant in this world and for me giving me the greatest gift anyone could give".

Gazing into her eyes, he rested his forehead on hers, his lips pressed against hers and kissed her softly.. "I love you Catherine and I can't wait to meet our baby boy or girl". He knew just by looking at her she was still in the early stages, she wasn't really even showing yet, and yet he could tell she was glowing already.

"I love you Steve.. I'm so excited… I've known for about a week to be honest but I wanted to wait till now to give you this gift tonight". He smiled and caressed her stomach with his fingers, "Best Christmas gift ever.. I don't think anything could ever top this one, now how about we head to bed and I can show you just how thankful I am for having you in my life". She smiled, laughing softly, "Well Commander, how can I say no to that". With that, she stood up and they began clearing the table both picking up their precious gifts to each other knowing that as hard as this year had been for everyone, they wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Author Notes..
This is a bit of a companion story to One for Sorrow and Winds of Change.. I'm not sure when I would get up to writing this kind of chapter in One for sorrow since I'm still essentially a year behind where we are now in Real life.. I already know where I am heading pretty much with these two, marriage and a family, and whist I don't want to put too much covid into my stories, it just felt right adding it into this now and why they haven't gotten married yet after their engagement and I figured may as well add covid as the reason. Covid for me will never be a major plot line or storyline in any of my stories, but just felt right to add it into this one as it is trying to be as real as I can be without taking away from their love story.

This is more or less a Christmas gift to you all. I got inspired about 8pm on Christmas Eve here in Australia to write this, and realised in a lot of my stories, other characters mention how good Catherine and Steve will be as parents and it made me want to write that sooner rather then later so Merry Christmas to you all, hope you all have a wonderful day even though you may not be able to see family and stay safe, wear a mask and keep social distancing.