This Would Be the End

Chapter 4

Everything seemed to happen in a blur. One minute all of the Avengers were on a nearby shoreline and the next they were cruising fast down the interstate. Tony couldn't exactly recall how this had all happened. His memory flitted back and forth between watching the archer tackle-jump Thor's younger, adopted brother Loki from their helicarrier to trying to save said brother (and Barton) to realizing Loki was mumbling out in pain. It had taken over an hour to revive Loki, maybe twenty minutes or less to revive Barton. Thor's makeshift defibrillator of his hammer was proving to have some potentially disastrous consequences.

Sure, Loki was alive-and that was huge-but he hadn't regained consciousness, he only barely responded to external stimuli and he was obviously struggling to return to a pain free state.

Tony bit his bottom lip as he sat uncharacteristically silent and without his armor in the padded teal seat of the ambulance. Thor was with him and Steve as well while Bruce, Natasha and Barton were in the ambulance behind them. It was crowded, to say the least, and Tony didn't miss a beat when the SHIELD agents turned EMT personnel clearly didn't know what they were doing.

Guilt circled its way into Thor's features as confusion lifted the brows of the EMTs as they busied themselves by doing nothing in particular.

One of the EMT workers, a woman with short, blonde spiky hair, placed the heart monitor wires onto Loki's-well, it wasn't quite his chest. He still had his armor on and trying to peel away the leather and metal was causing them difficulties.

The other EMT turned to Thor with large sheers in their hands.

"We have to cut his armor off." It almost sounded like a question. In other circumstances it may have given Tony a chance to smile.

Thor, barely keeping his wits together, nodded stiffly in a manner that said do everything you can and if you fail there will be hell to pay.

They worked silently and quickly to remove what they could. The rest lay unbothered around his waist and shoulders as the blonde was finally able to place the lines.

A rapid pulse rate for humans blinked onto the small monitor while the oxygen levels blinked at 80. The red haired paramedic swiveled to Thor, eyes almost downcast as he asked, "Is this level normal for his species?"

Thor's lips quivered, as though uncertain as to whether he should be insulted for the sake of his brother. He chewed on his lip, for a moment laced with second thoughts, before uttering the words, "I don't believe so."

The paramedics exchanged a glance.

Thor didn't miss a beat. "What?" he asked, judgment lying heavily in his tone.

The red haired paramedic shifted on his feet.

"We're just not sure how to proceed." His lips smacked unceremoniously. "If we administer medications he may burn them off quicker than we can supply them but, at the same time, we're not sure what could happen if we overmedicate him. Without more technology we can't possibly figure out what is really going on internally."

The ambulance bumped and slid over the patchy potholes and the man's eyes shone with the perplexity of whether he should do his job or call it quits. Tony recognized his dilemma as to what his own had been an hour ago, but at least Tony had come around whereas this guy's intentions were much shadier.

"If you're saying you don't-can't-help him then why are you here?" Tony's voice cracked with irritability. Who did this guy think he was?

Tensions rose in Tony's shoulders as Steve diplomatically handled the situation with an, "I think you need to do as you were assigned to." Steve's blue eyes narrowed and Thor, looking grim, nodded as a spark of anger pierced his eyes.

"Do everything you can to save my brother and, if you don't," his lips curled back in a snarl, "you will not wish to see my wrath."

The red haired man gulped audibly before he started in a haste to place an intravenous line in Loki's bare arm.

Tony continued to feel inexplicably useless for the rest of the ride.

~#*#~

The doors to the back of the ambulance unlocked and swung open as the agents stumbled out, shifting their weight on their feet to enter the awaiting glass door of Avengers Tower. After them, the second ambulance opened in which Bruce and Natasha stepped out with Barton resting in shame on the gurney.

Bruce quickened his pace as he hollered back to their ambulance in which Loki was being wheeled out of: "Get him to the medical bay! I'll meet you there."

Bruce disappeared in a shuffle before Tony could get himself out the back. His wardrobe was in need of changing, his black band shirt was ruffled and his dark blue jeans were bunched up on one pant leg. His arms hung loosely at his sides, that awkwardness returning to him as he didn't know what to do with his appendages when they weren't holding some kind of tool.

Steve clapped a hand over Thor's meaty shoulder, claiming some kind of reassurance that was muffled to Tony's ears. Tony could tell he looked a mess by the exhaustion that hung from his shoulders but, if it were possible, Thor looked much worse.

His long blonde hair appeared almost stringy with grease as if he hadn't showered in weeks when only a few hours had passed. His eyes were glued to the passenger in the gurney that had already escaped his line of vision as the agents were moving him into the closest elevator. Thor could faintly hear the dinging chime of the machine as they traveled farther and farther away.

In sympathy, Tony elbowed Thor's ribs.

"He's gonna be okay. Bruce will know what to do," even as he said it, he wasn't sure it was true.

Thor winced in what Tony thought was meant to be a smile. Tony paused for a moment before he shrugged and added, "I'm sorry, Thor."

Thor's gaze flicked to Tony as he acknowledged him again for the first time since everything had happened.

"I don't even know why he was here," he murmured sadly. "If I had known this would happen I would have…" He trailed off, almost absently.

Tony grimaced, "I know, buddy. It's hard. But we're gonna do everything we can, you know that."

Thor's attention had shifted again and as he trotted forward he said quickly back over his shoulder, "Thank you."

For once, Tony felt he had earned it.

~#*#~

Bruce closed his eyes for a second, a long breath going into his lungs as he held it for two seconds and relinquished it back into the air with an audible sigh. He repeated this calming exercise two to three times before his brown eyes parted and he returned to the problem at hand. It was Bruce's responsibility to figure out where Loki's pain was coming from. The demigod had sustained injuries to his neck from where Clint had strangled him, and Bruce couldn't help but think how absurd that was, injuries related to drowning and injuries from Thor's makeshift defibrillator.

Because Loki was a Frost Giant, and because it had taken multiple times to revive him, Bruce was pretty sure he had sustained internal injuries. It was possible that his veins and arteries were hardening in response to the electricity that flowed through him with every blast from Thor's hammer. This, coupled with the lack of oxygen meant that they could be looking at a brain damaged demigod with past homicidal tendencies. Bone fractures and dislocations were also a possibility because every jolt of lightning would have caused Loki's muscles to contract, potentially damaging the nearby bones and joints. Additionally, because of the near constant chest compressions, they were also looking at a possibly fractured sternum.

Basically, Bruce had his work cut out for him.

He turned his head to where he was hoping Natasha would appear from. He was hoping the red haired assassin would appear at any moment to help and the first thing Bruce would need were blood tests, X-rays, an EKG, an EEG and probably more painkillers. If Loki were to not regain consciousness to explain where his pain was coming from, and who knew how long that could take, they would have to funnel in painkiller after painkiller to hopefully cover up his pain until they can deal with it properly later.

A sliver of sweat shone on Bruce's temples, and he had to practice his calming exercise three to four more times before he saw the familiar female face.

"What do you need?" Her tone was cool, masking all the emotions Bruce knew were under its surface. Unfortunately, there was no time for squabbling.

"X-rays, blood tests, EKG, EEG and…" Bruce looked around for a clue to his missing link. His brown eyes fell on the lightly writhing god still on the gurney with the SHIELD agents awkwardly standing by not bothering to offer help.

"Painkillers?" Natasha cued back in and Bruce nodded immediately, trying to return his attention to the present moment.

Why was he here? He couldn't help but think as he instructed the two useless agents to transfer Loki to the awaiting cream colored bed.

"We have to gradually raise his temperature. Moving too fast could kill him."

"Are you sure about that?" Natasha tilted her head. "He is of a different species to us."

"Fuck," Bruce uttered soon after.

Okay, so maybe he didn't have any clue as to what he was doing either.

Still-he had to do something.

Bruce took a breath in and sighed, "You're right. Does anyone on this team know anything about Frost Giants?"

"Your best bet is asking the genius in the walls."

The voice surprised Bruce as his eyes turned to the inventor.

Tony held up a hand, "Thor essentially sent me. More so, he wanted to come, I had to tell him that wasn't such a good idea, we argued, you know, the usual." He offered his teammate a grim smile.

"But yeah, Jarvis, could you do us the favor?"

"Of course, sir," was the AI's official reply.

"Okay, Tony, I need you to get the portable X-ray machine," Bruce instructed, looking next to Nat and telling her where to find the toolkit for the necessary blood test.

When Bruce turned around again to the demigod he was able to sigh in relief to find the two agents had disappeared and the intravenous line was still in place. Bruce ordered Nat to extract the blood in a couple of vials and push more morphine.

Soon, Tony was back with the machine and five shots later they had what used to be floppy black and white scans up on the nearest holographic screen.

Tony's eyes narrowed looking at them.

"I don't see anything."

Bruce was silent for another moment before slapping his index finger on a small anomaly.

"There. It's small, but a right shoulder dislocation either way."

"Treatment?" Tony asked, looking impressed.

"Wait," Bruce's eyes squinted again, reviewing the slide where Loki's left hip lay. "I think there's a fracture there."

Tony nodded, still unable to see anything.

"Jarvis?"

"I do believe I see a dislocation to Loki's right shoulder and a hairline fracture to Loki's left femur."

"Awesome," Tony joked, looking again to Bruce.

"Sir," the AI piped in before Bruce had time to utter a single phrase, "I also believe that Loki has sustained a fracture to his sternum, likely due to the sustained pressure of the compressions."

Bruce cursed again, this time more quietly. "First things first, he'll need a splint for the arm. For the sternum, we may be able to get by with more pain medications and a cold compress. We have to watch out for pneumonia though, as a side effect from the drowning. And for the leg…" Bruce trailed off anxiously.

"You also don't have a clue what you're doing, huh?" Tony patted Bruce's sagging shoulder lightly. "It's okay, science bro; you're absolutely spectacular with thermonuclear dynamics and shitty with therapy and medically treating demigods. Turns out, us geniuses are human after all." Tony's smile brightened as he continued to pat Bruce's shoulder.

"Tony, this is serious."

"I know."

"Sir?"

"Ah, look! Jarvis has found an answer. What is it, J?"

"My sincerest apologies, sir, my search results were inconclusive," the AI had an apologetic tone, almost as if he were smiling sadly at the occupants in the medical bay.

"See, Bruce? None of us know what we're doing."

"I'm trying." Bruce all but growled hastily.

"I know. And for now, that's gotta be enough." Tony sighs and crosses his arms. "So, what's next?"

When Bruce was quiet for more than a minute, Tony shook his head.

"The guy's not conscious, Bruce. He's not going to complain and he sure as hell can't offer us feedback. There are no rules here. You can do whatever you feel is right. He's a god, he's gotta have some kind of super strength or something. Something that makes us guys feel small and foolish. Right?"

Bruce nodded, staring at a gold speck on the floor as Tony spoke.

"As long as he doesn't die, we're pretty much good. The guy came back after, what, an hour of being dead?" Tony paused. "You can do this, Bruce, just think outside the box."

Tony turned to Natasha to what Bruce thought would be reassurance but instead was worthy of an eye roll.

"You ever saw that film, "The Box"? God, it was dumb. If the partner had to go to prison for killing their spouse so ultimately their kid would be safe but parentless-man, what a movie."

"Okay, time is not on our side," Bruce began cryptically. "But we do what we can with what's left of it. Let's check his blood for muscle enzymes, get a splint, a good EKG and update Thor to what's going on. Natasha, push another vial of morphine. I don't want him in pain if we can help it. And, speaking of, start a timer so we have an idea to how fast he goes through the medicine."

Bruce looked to each of them in turn before swallowing, still with tendrils of anxiety at his shoulders.

"Ready?"

And so, the countdown began.

~#*#~

"Would you like tea or coffee?" Steve dutifully stood by the Keurig in the kitchen, blue eyes gazing over at the thunder god mutely sitting on the black couch.

"Thor?" Steve questioned again, gently. He knew his teammate was taking this situation with much difficulty. Steve tried imagining what it would be like if he and Bucky were in his place and it made him feel breathless. Steve could only imagine the stress and regret that laced through Thor's veins.

"I'm sure he'll be okay," Steve whispered softly as he brought his own cup of tea back with him to the couch.

Thor stared absently into the air as he was nudged into the small corner of the leather with a haunted expression reflecting in his own blue eyes.

"Do you have mead?"

"What?"

"Alcohol. Please." Thor looked sadly at Steve, hoping he wouldn't question him further.

Steve frowned, silent judgments flashing through him momentarily before he dislodged himself from the opposite couch and got settled into pouring out a glass of scotch.

"Do you know why he was here?" The question slipped from the super soldier's mouth before he could mentally chastise it.

Thor took a long swig from the glass before gently placing it on the table.

"No." The thunder god looked like he was about to say more before he held his head in his hands and decompensated. "I do not know why Barton acted in the way he did and I cannot shake my anger from within my bones. I want to hurt him as he's hurt me, and yet I know I cannot. I only…I only wish for my brother to be okay, to understand why he was here, to make sense out of everything because…" Thor gasped. "Because nothing-"

"Nothing makes sense," Steve supplied with empathy. "I'm so sorry, Thor." Steve wordlessly refilled his glass, this time with water. "We're going to figure this out."

Thor looked as though he didn't believe him and Steve tried not to mind. He nodded silently, taking a big gulp of the water tinkling with ice in the glass.

"Thank you, captain," Thor said in earnest.

Steve merely nodded in response.

Thor was about to mention something else when the elevator dinged and Tony and Bruce trampled out.

"Friends," Thor introduced, rising slightly before re-administering himself into the couch.

Tony immediately eye-balled the alcohol but remained steadfast by Bruce's side. Alcohol could wait.

"How is my brother?" New hope sparkled with the tears in Thor's eyes.

"All things considered, he's all right," Bruce ventured into the fire, taking in as much of the situation as he could. "It looks like he has a couple of fractures and dislocations, and we have to work on managing his pain and be cautious of any pneumonia that may arise later. But, for now, he's okay. We ran an EKG and his heart looks normal; he'll need a splint for the arm and we're hoping the fracture in his leg will heal on its own. Until he wakes up, we won't know the extent of his injuries and if there are any damaging effects of the trauma he's endured." Bruce placed his hands together, carefully reviewing Thor's body language.

Thor had been in the dark about Loki's condition for longer than Bruce would have liked and he had yet to tell the god that his brother burned through painkillers every twenty minutes but Bruce thought it was important to break the news gradually, not all at once, as he suspected Thor was still in a state of shock.

The thunder god's blue eyes looked hazy as he absorbed what Banner had just said.

"My brother is part Aesir. He will heal on his own, likely faster than you all realize." Thor's lips shuddered into a thin line. "He will be okay. He has to be…" Thor's shoulders began to shake as tears formed to the brim of his eyes. "My brother has been sick many a time but never so drastically. I hope you will not take ill of me to wait until I see him next. I…it's a difficult situation. I believe I need to rest my rage for a time before I can see him again. Do you understand, my friends?"

Thor didn't exactly look up at them but rather saw through them.

Tony was the first to say, "Take as long as you need."

And Bruce added limply, "If he burns through the medicine as fast as you believe, he may awaken before nightfall. That gives you a couple of hours to replenish yourself. It's important that you take care of yourself, Thor. Loki's going to require all of you in order to get better. I will probably make a few calls to help us all get through this situation. I don't want to leave any rock unturned. So, go, Thor. We'll take care of him from here."

With their permission granted, Thor moved robotically to the silver elevator, not daring to cast even one look back at his fellow teammates until the elevator chimed and he stood almost lifelessly as the doors closed before him.

Only in the quiet of his loneliness did tears stream down his cheeks for everything he had lost and everything he was still in danger of losing again.

~#*#~

It was with great care, that the thunder god did not feel, that he turned the knobs of the shower on and stepped into the frozen droplets. The icy, chilled water reminded Thor of Jotunheim and, in turn, his brother lying dead on that shoreline.

Thor couldn't wrap his mind around what had exactly happened. One moment the Avengers were a team together in the helicarrier and the next, out of the corner of his eyes, Thor saw the green and gold clad family member he hadn't seen in years disappear from his stance aboard the ship and fell, no, plummeted to the ocean below.

Not alone, Thor reminded himself. Barton was with him. The archer was strangling his brother underwater.

Thor gasped as though air refused to come into his lungs.

What a terrible and lonely death that would have been. And Loki did die, for a time, an hour they said, he was gone from the world. And, somehow, even though Loki had been absent in Thor's heart for years, there had always existed that possibility that he could come back-but not in death. In death, Loki would be lost to Thor and lost to the world around him.

To think it was possible to exist without his younger sibling was a darkness Thor could not shed from his shoulders. How bleak the world would be without his trickster of a brother. There would be a gap of mischief in Thor's soul that no other could replace. It would be almost equivalent to losing Jane, except much, much worse. Loki carried so many of the same memories as Thor from their family and their childhood, memories no other being, save Heimdall and father, could begin to imagine.

And now…now what? Loki could possibly never return to the world of the living, not in the same way as before. Thor hated the possibility but it was just that-a possibility. His brother could be brain damaged, a horror Thor knew not how to experience. Or Loki could be in a coma for the rest of his days. He could never come back at all while still being present in his body. But body and mind would be disconnected and, like that, would Loki even wish to live?

Thor clamped his tongue between his teeth and bit down hard until the taste of blood filled his gums and he was substantially distracted. For some reason, thinking of the horrors that lay in Loki's mind meant the thunder god could not fester over the rage he still felt for Barton.

Why, why did the archer act on impulse?

All of this could have been prevented. If only Thor hadn't sat so far away, he could have gotten to Loki first. He could have saved his brother-and wasn't that the only job as an older sibling that he had? He should have been there for Loki. Now, before, later-always missing in action Thor was. When Loki went through his identity crisis-where was Thor? Banished to Midgard. Where was Thor when Loki was captured by the Chitauri? On Asgard, thinking his brother to be dead. Where was Thor when Loki invaded Midgard? Fighting against his brother and against his alien army that he couldn't have possessed alone. Every time Loki needed Thor, really, truly needed an older brother and someone on his side, Thor was never there. Even when he was physically there, it was always in opposition. Thor had seen Loki die again in Svartalfheim only for him to appear alive again when Thor had been so convinced that he was finally forever gone.

But he hadn't seen, let alone spoken, to Loki since then. It had been eight long, mischief absent years. Thor had naturally thought him dead, only for him to reappear in a shroud of mystery back on Midgard only to plunge into the ocean with….him. Barton.

Thor hadn't spoken to the archer yet about what happened-why it happened-and it was looking like he wouldn't get the chance to yet. Thor had to be different this time; he had to be on the side of his brother, no matter how much it caused his heart to break. Thor didn't want to cause a rift amongst the team but he felt now that he had no choice. He couldn't seemingly betray Loki again. He had almost completely lost Loki, just as he did Frigga, and Thor couldn't bear that any more. He needed, required, some aspect of his dysfunctional family to remain intact.

Otherwise, what point was there? What point in anything was there? If Thor couldn't be loyal to his blood, why was he ever trying to pretend to be there for Loki?

He needed to change for the better. For Loki's sake. Finally, Thor was going to do something just for Loki's sake. That had to mean both something and everything.

Thor had just stepped out of the bathroom, his clothing a black and grey combination when he settled heavily, still largely wet, into his bed. He curled up into a ball and forced his mind to clear, which was a struggle of epic proportions, before he heard an eager knocking on his bedroom's door.

"Thor," Man of Iron said from the other side. "We think he's waking up."

A sizzle of new energy entered Thor's bloodstream, as adrenaline passed through the exhaustion that crippled his self-esteem.

"I will be right there," he murmured, taking a moment to breathe before rising again and taking the shriveling motivation lying within him to face the world and his brother once again.

He hoped, eternally, that it wouldn't be for the last time.

A/N: Welp, this took me forever to update! My apologies on that end! Between writer's block and updating different stories (if you read my others you'll start to see a similar theme/pattern to them, like in this chapter it reminds me of 'Severed') and dealing with finals and summer beginning…I've had a lot on my plate! My wrist also protested all of this writing alongside some book reviews that I handwrote so that also explains my absence, at least of the last week! Here's hoping I can get more handwriting chapters done on various stories (as I have multiple ones in progress at the moment) and then typed and uploaded. :]! Any who let me know what you thought of this and how the story is progressing! If you have time, check out some of my other stories, too! :]

Oh, and I could have sworn I mentioned this in previous chapters so unless I'm mixing up my timelines with other fics, this story does take place in an AU 8 years after Thor: The Dark World… Right? Yeah, let's go with that! Thank you SO MUCH for reading! Love to you all!

Handwritten: 3/7, 3/9, 5/28, 5/29

Typed: 6/1, 6/4

Edited: 6/4/2018