I'm back! Yeah, this is no longer a one-shot.

Olympus

For the first time since the winter solstice had begun, the throne room was silent. Self-absorbed as the gods were, the method by which the newcomer had arrived wasn't exactly subtle, what with the brilliant flash of light and what have you.

America stared at the assembled gods, all twenty feet in size, and tried to avoid eye contact, questioning his life decisions and wondering what the heck he did to get to that point. The gods were just annoyed that their arguments were being interrupted by an insolent mortal (presumably) who didn't even announce himself before showing up, how rude.

For a moment, the two parties just stared at each other.

Then America voiced three words that summed up the situation quite succinctly.

"What the fuck?"

Video Conference

During World War II, there existed a military acronym that, in modern times, had been recycled into colloquial vocabulary, though possibly not with the original meaning in mind.

That word was snafu. It stood for "Situation Normal: All Fucked Up."

This situation was a snafu.

It was a bit disconcerting, having a world superpower disappear and having someone else replace said superpower, though evidently, not disconcerting enough that the entire video conference was silent in shock. Somehow, this wasn't the most absurd situation the gathered nations had found ever themselves in. After all, Italy Veniciano had once saved the world with a marker [1], and there was the incident on Christmas Day, 2010, which had involved one hundred and twenty-three Frances, all of which were cat people [2]. This situation was...almost normal in comparison. Fucked up, but normal.

As such, Japan was able to get over the shock with only a minimal amount of his composure missing. "...I think it is time to get Igirisu-san and Furansu-san back."

Olympus

If it were, say, the Jade Emperor from the Chinese pantheon, America would have been blasted before he opened his mouth. For some explicable reason, the leader of the Celestial Bureaucracy seemed to be of the opinion that execution was the go-to solution for every wrongdoing. Breaking a cup at a party? Execution! Drinking too much and trashing heaven in a drunken rampage? Execution! (Alright, that one was justified, but come on, the offender in question was immortal. Five times over at that point. Why did you think it would work?)

Zeus and the assembled gods, however, were far more reasonable in their proceedings. After all, he stood for justice and law.

No, he blasted America right after he opened his mouth. For a moment, the throne room was lit up in a blinding flash of light. There was a cloud of dust where the newcomer had been standing.

"Well," Zeus grumbled. "That solved that problem."

Then the dust settled. The distinct sound of coughing was heard.

"Well," the newcomer frowned, a fine layer of dust coating him. "That wasn't very nice."

Video Conference

Apollo felt a little offended, to be honest. He had expected some level of fanfare for the arrival of a god. Mortals cowering, perhaps, though he didn't really go for that anymore. Not after that. Still, he was a god. A bit of respect was to be expected.

"I am so sorry to interrupt your conversation," he said sarcastically. Sarcasm was something he had picked up from his demigod friends: they must be so proud of him. "But what is going on here?"

The noise level died down. A man with alarmingly large eyebrows scrutinized him, "Well, you're certainly loud enough to be his counterpart."

What.

"I apologize," an Asian man-Japanese, presumably: the man was so stereotypically Japanese it hurts- hastened to say before another argument could ensue. "You have been brought here as a result of my device malfunctioning. I apologize for any inconveniences and hardships this had caused you and humbly ask you to stand by as I rectify this grave error."

Well, at least that one was polite.

"Fine," he sat back in the chair, folding his arms. "How long will that take?"

Olympus

Unlike Apollo, America was treated with great fanfare. It was a shame that most of the fanfare was hostile.

"How did he-"

"-a threat-"

"-destroy-"

"Dude," America interrupted. He wasn't sure how he felt about interrupting a room full of hostile giants, but he was the hero! It was his job to be fearless. "I'm the hero. I don't destroy people unless they're evil. Who are you, anyway? How did I get here?"

"We can ask you the same thing," said a woman with cold gray eyes. "As for who we are…"

"We are the Olympians," said the one holding a lightning bolt, the one who had tried to blast him. "And now, hero, you will explain your identity and your presence, lest we throw you into Tartarus."

Video Conference

"Taken from my home,

Finding a way back is slow,

Will there be food left?"

The entire video conference groaned.

"Apollo-san," Japan said, his voice pained. "Please refrain from composing haiku when I'm working."

Apollo shrugged, "Alright. Divine poetry isn't designed for mortal ears, anyway."

If Japan were less polite, he would have screamed. Instead, he responded with a "thank you" that was only a little stiffer than usual and went back to work.

Instead, he sat back as someone else screamed on his behalf.

China liked poetry. China liked it so much that he had once considered the mark of an educated person to be how good their poetry was. He had held entire civil service exams in his country, all so he could pick the smartest in the land to serve in his court, and what was on those tests? Poetry. And he would not stand for how this...this westerner completely butchered a poetic form. Did it matter that said poetic form came from Japan and not him? Not particularly. Japan was his didi and former tudi. He taught him everything he needed to know, anyway.

China was leaning forward, his expression the same one he had worn when he had found out that Japan had invented hiragana. All the other nations stiffened as they caught the ancient country's expression, thinking the same thing: shit's about to go down.

"That was not a haiku," he hissed.

Olympus

"Brother," the one in bermuda shorts sighed, "You're too dramatic."

The one holding the lightning bolt scowled, evidently displeased that his brother stole his thunder. "Poseidon-"

"What? I'm just saying-"

Another argument broke out in earnest. Meanwhile, America's mind was on overdrive. Olympians. Olympians. As in gods. Which meant that he was on Olympus. It was strange, though. He was fairly sure he was still in his country. This universe's version of his country, anyway.

A thought started to nag him. There had existed a book series, written by one of his citizens a few years ago. It had been extremely popular with his younger citizens, and he had, out of curiosity, bought the box set. He had read through them, found them fairly enjoyable, and filed them on his bookshelf, where it had sat collecting dust. It had talked about Greek gods, how they were now in America, and the adventures of a particular hero.

"Shit," he cursed. "I'm in Percy Jackson, aren't I?"

Video Conference

Apollo was curled into a ball, staring into space. The assembled nations stared at China, who was sitting with his arms crossed, catching his breath. No one dared comment how the ancient nation had just verbally destroyed a god.

"Mon ami," France took a risk. "I think you broke him."

"I'm unworthy," Apollo murmured, as if in a trance. "Unworthy!"

China huffed, "Don't be so dramatic, aru. Next time do your research before composing if you're going to use a form, aru. And practice. Don't just assume you're good, aru."

"I'm a god!" he wailed. "I'm four thousand years old. I don't practice!"

"So am I, aru," China pointed out. "And yet I didn't stop."

The god just curled in further.

China sighed, "Japan, aru. How much longer?"

[1] A reference to the Paint It White Hetalia movie

[2] A reference to the 2010 Christmas event.

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