Merry Christmas everyone! I've written a ZoSan Christmas fic for the past two years and I wasn't going to let 2020 stop me now!
Enjoy!
"So the airline got the fucking destinations messed up,'" Sanji was ranting at him through the phone, "So we had to land in fucking Wisconsin, and the next shitty flight wasn't for another," he paused, and Zoro could picture him glancing around frantically for a clock, completely forgetting his phone was in his hand, "Ten fucking hours."
"Huh," Zoro said. He was originally supposed to pick him up at the airport in about an hour, but from the sound of it that wasn't happening. That was fine by him. It had started snowing and he hated driving in the snow, "So, what time will you be in?"
"Never, apparently," he could practically hear Sanji's mouth twist into a scowl, "If this shitty airport having like two goddamn flights a day wasn't bad enough, now there's a fucking snowstorm! No flights in, no flights out until tomorrow at the earliest! And the fuckers won't even commit to that! I'm trapped in fucking Wisconsin!"
"Well," Zoro leaned back and sank further into the couch, "You do like cheese."
"Fuck you," Sanji snapped, but he sounded completely exhausted, and Zoro couldn't help but feel sympathetic. Sanji sighed over the line and continued, "At this rate, I probably won't be back in time for Christmas."
"Oh." Disappointing, but not the end of the world. Sanji had already been gone for a week. Missing him for a few more days wouldn't kill him.
"Sorry," Sanji groaned, "I really wanted to be there with you, but..."
"It's fine," he assured him, "Don't worry about it."
"Yeah, well," he sighed again and said, "Give Nami my love."
"Oh, she's not here."
"She's not?"
"She's spending the weekend with Vivi and her family at their cabin in the mountains," he explained as he stared out the window. The snowflakes were dancing in the light from the street lamps, landing on the slowly piling clumps, "I thought I told you."
"You didn't," Sanji grumbled, "Well, then tell Usopp-"
"He's with Kaya for Christmas. Something about a small town bed and breakfast and an inheritance?" he shrugged, "I didn't really get it."
"At least Luffy's still there, right?"
"Actually, he went with Ace and Sabo to save some Christmas Tree Farm upstate? Apparently it meant a lot to them as kids."
"Well, what about Chopper?"
"He wanted to volunteer with Doctors Without Borders for his birthday this year. He took off to parts unknown a few days ago."
"Franky and Robin?"
"Still on their Holiday Honeymoon Cruise thing or whatever."
"Brook?"
"Reached out to some of his old bandmates for a holiday tribute tour. They're down south somewhere last I checked."
"Jinbei? Please tell me Jinbei is still there."
"He went back to his hometown for Hanukkah. I think it's the first time he's been back in like a decade?" He shrugged, "Seemed a little apprehensive about it, but whatever."
"Are you," he paused, and Zoro heard the distress rise up in his voice, "Are you going to be all alone for Christmas?"
"I'll be fine," he rolled his eyes. Sanji always made such a big deal out of these things, "I don't even like Christmas. Besides, I've spent plenty of them alone."
"Just because you have doesn't mean you should," he snapped, then groaned, "Shit, and I'm stuck in fucking Wisconsin."
"I'll be fine," he repeated more forcefully, because apparently it bore repeating, "Don't worry about it."
"You shouldn't be alone on Christmas," Sanji insisted. "I should be with you. Not in fucking Wisconsin."
"Well, there's not really much you can do about that."
"I guess not," he sighed. "I'll let you know when I get a new flight."
"Yeah, I'll see you then."
As he said his goodbyes and hung up the phone, Zoro glanced around the apartment. Somehow it seemed darker and emptier than before.
Zoro woke up Christmas Eve morning and automatically reached across to the other side of the bed. When his hand only met cold sheets, he cracked his eye open and sighed. After a week of waking up alone he probably should have been used to it, but every time he turned over and Sanji wasn't there, his heart ached even more. It was the worst way to wake up.
He stretched and climbed out of bed, determined to start his day.
Usually Sanji went all out with the Christmas decorations, making their usually cluttered apartment look like something Santa's workshop coughed up, but Sanji hadn't had much time to decorate for Christmas before he left. He'd only gotten around to stringing up some lights by the sliding glass doors that led to the patio, which Zoro was fine with. He hadn't even turned the lights on since Sanji left.
He stared out the doors at the patio blanketed in the white snow as he drank his coffee. A few stray flakes were still falling, but it looked like the bulk of the snow was over and done with. Still, the cloud cover made the world look grey and lifeless, and something in his chest ached at the sight.
He frowned and glanced at the lights around the door before clicking them on.
The multicolored lights sparkled as they lit up the apartment, bringing it at least that little bit of color.
Zoro nodded in satisfaction and went about the rest of his day.
He had been spending his Sanji-less days split between working out, watching his way through his Netflix queue, endless rounds of Mario Kart, and alcohol consumption. He started this morning in a similar fashion, but it wasn't long before all his usually distractions became dull and boring.
After a quick meal of slightly burnt toast, he flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped through endless Christmas movies and Christmas shows and ads for Christmas sales before settling on some random cop drama. It was still about Christmas, but at least there was a murder.
Zoro didn't like Christmas. He didn't getthe hype surrounding it, he wasn't religious at all and couldn't buy the 'peace, love, and goodwill' nonsense under all the commercialization. He had been perfectly content for most of his life to treat Christmas just like everyone other day of the year.
Then he met people he actually gave a shit about.
He still didn't get the hubbub around the holidays, but he did like his friends. He liked the giant Christmas party Luffy and his brothers made sure to throw every year. He liked hanging out at Jinbei's when he invited them over for Hanukkah. He liked when Robin had them do a historically accurate Old Norse Solstice Celebration, complete with a sacrificial goat (a goat-shaped red velvet cake that somehow bled, courtesy of Sanji).
As it turned out, holidays were a lot better when he had someone to celebrate them with.
When he and Sanji got together, he was well aware that Sanji went all in on Christmas. Zoro let him because it made him happy, even if he personally found the whole thing exhausting, and only marginally complained about the whole thing. Now without Sanji or the rest of his friends here, he was looking forward to a Christmas-less Christmas like he used to have.
A Christmas just like every other day of the year.
A Christmas all alone.
He glanced towards the kitchen. If Sanji were here, he'd be baking now. He liked baking cookies and other treats to give to their friends, neighbors, coworkers, and anybody else Sanji saw that he thought could use something sweet. Zoro liked this part of Sanji's Christmas, because he always made him special not-so-sweet dark chocolate peppermint cookies and it made the apartment smell amazing.
Without Sanji here baking up a storm, the apartment just smelled dull.
Before he really thought about it, Zoro stood and made his way into the kitchen.
How hard could making cookies be? He was sure he could do it. He'd been helping Sanji make cookies for years.
"Helping?" he remembered Sanji saying to him last year, "What help? You just stand there and distract me."
"I clean the beaters and the mixing spoon."
"You lick the dough off the beaters and the spoon like some crazed green cookie dough monster."
"Which cleans them," he had said, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter, "Which helps."
"I have to wash them after you lick them so I can use them again. You create more work for me." He turned back to his mixing bowl, "Get out of my kitchen."
Instead Zoro leaned forward and wrapped his arms loosely around Sanji's waist, "I keep the cook company. That's a help."
"You distract the cook," Sanji leaned into him and made no move to escape, "You're a nuisance."
Zoro had chuckled, a soft warmth filling him up, spreading from his chest to the tips of his fingers as he nuzzled Sanji's neck and held him even closer.
Now Zoro glanced around the cold, empty kitchen and the ache in his chest grew.
He managed to find a cookie recipe Sanji had scribbled on the back of an old shopping list and started searching the ingredients in the cabinets.
He needed flour. Check, that was easy, he knew Sanji always kept a bag in the back of the fridge just in case. Eggs, also check, they were never want for eggs. Butter, check, there was one stick in the fridge, and he found a second tucked away in the freezer.
Granulated sugar and confectioner's sugar. Huh, he hadn't realized there was more than one type of sugar. He located one bag of sugar easily enough, and figured all sugar was sugar so why even bother with the other one.
Vanilla extract, check. Salt and baking soda, weird ingredients for cookies, but check. Cream of tartar.
Cream of, what now?
He stared at the recipe. He'd never heard of that before, but if it was a cream, the coffee creamer should work, right?
But what if it was more tartar than cream? He had no idea what tartar was in food speak, except maybe tartar sauce? Was cream of tartar just a fancy way of saying tartar sauce?
Another weird ingredient for cookies, but whatever. There was some tartar sauce leftover from the last time Sanji made crab cakes, so he grabbed that too.
Now he had to mix it together. Easy enough, except the butter from the freezer wasn't cooperating, refusing to blend with the other ingredients and become anything other than a stick of butter.
If it was too cold, he just needed to make it hot. With that logic, he plucked it out of the bowl and put it in the microwave for a few minutes.
While that warmed up, he set about tossing the rest of the ingredients into the bowl. The egg he threw in whole, because Sanji had this thing about wasting food and more egg could only be better.
He eyed the vanilla extract suspiciously. It was liquid, and certainly didn't look like any vanilla he knew, but when he opened the bottle he did catch a distinctive whiff of vanilla, so it was probably legit. Just to be sure, he dipped his pinky into it and brought it to his tongue for a taste.
The taste made him gag, and he quickly ran to the sink for some water to rinse the shit off his tongue. That was definitely not vanilla, probably some kind of poison Sanji kept around just in case, and had no business being anywhere near a cookie. He put the bottle of whatever the fuck that was away and turned back to the recipe.
It called for a half cup each of the two sugars, so just a whole cup of the one sugar. He scooped it out, but that seemed like a lot of sugar, especially since he didn't even like sweet things.
He glanced over at the salt. If the salt was supposed to go into the cookie anyway, then what was the harm of switching it up a bit?
He dumped the sugar back in the bag and instead put in a half cup of salt. The recipe called for a quarter teaspoon of salt, but since it did make sense for cookies to have sugar, he thought it would be better to put in a whole tablespoon instead.
Next was the quarter teaspoon of baking soda and tartar sauce. He tossed those in just as the microwave dinged and went to grab his butter. When he opened the microwave, the butter had melted completely, leaving an oily puddle on the tray.
Well, it was going to melt in the oven anyway, right? This was just getting a head start. He carefully removed the tray and dumped the butter into his mixture.
When the dough was well and thoroughly mixed, he turned to deal with the oven. The recipe called for the cookies to be baked at 375 degrees for ten minutes, so that meant if he cranked it up to 750 degrees, they would be done in five minutes. Or, if he was being really ambitious, he could finish them in two and a half minutes if he baked them at 1500 degrees.
Unfortunately Sanji's oven didn't go up that high. He scoffed, no wonder dinner always took so long to make, and settled for setting the oven to 750 degrees.
He turned on the radio in the kitchen to listen to something while he waited.
"Have a holly jolly Christmas," a voice sang, crackling a bit with static, "It's the best time of the year."
Zoro scowled. He really couldn't escape Christmas, huh?
"Say hello to friends you know, and everyone you meet."
He quickly smacked the radio off. Instead, he settled down by the counter and took out his phone to pass the time.
When Sanji baked, the apartment gradually filled with a sweet scent, creating a small bubble of warmth and home just for them. He expected similar results from his baking.
Instead, about two minutes in the room was flooded with an acidic burning smell. After three minutes smoke started coming out of the oven. By the time the timer dinged at five minutes, the smoke alarm was going off.
"Who asked you?" Zoro snarled at the device as he took the blackened cookies out of the oven. He opened the kitchen window and the sliding glass doors to let the smoke out and shut off the alarm, and shivered when the cold air hit him.
He wandered back into the kitchen to size up his cookies.
Sanji's cookies always came out perfectly round, slightly golden, and just fluffy enough to be featured on the cover of a Good Housekeeping magazine. Zoro's cookies were similar, if by similar he meant the exact opposite of.
The tray was full of tiny black lumps that resembled coal more than cookies. But they were round, for the most part, so he must have done something right.
Maybe they tasted better than they looked?
He carefully picked one off the tray and popped it into his mouth. And immediately spat it back out.
What the hell? That was the worst thing he'd ever tasted in his life. He'd followed the recipe, so why hadn't it worked?
If Sanji were here, he would have known. He would have given Zoro the infuriating I-know-everything-and-you're-an-idiot-for-not smirk and said something like, "Shitty Marimo, here's everything you did wrong" and then somehow fixed the cookies.
He sighed and chucked the inedible chunks into the garbage and turned off the oven.
Now what? He glanced around the empty apartment. Suddenly the idea of sitting in here all day made him miserable, so he grabbed his coat and went out for a walk, leaving the smoky apartment behind.
The cold bit at him as he made his way further downtown. Everywhere he looked he could see little bits of Christmas, and all of it reminded him of Sanji.
Carolers going from door to door brought back a memory of when Chopper wanted to go caroling for his birthday one year. If Zoro's birthday had been on Christmas, he would have been resentful, but Chopper was thrilled by it. He loved spreading joy and cheer on his special day whenever he could, and the caroling escapade was part of that. Everyone had petered off one by one throughout the night, but he and Sanji stuck it out until the end.
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire," they were singing, speakers amplifying their voices, "Jack Frost nipping at your nose."
The Christmas tree in the center of the square reminded him of last year when Sanji dragged him to see the tree lighting. Zoro had missed the actual moment when the tree got lit, far too preoccupied with kissing Sanji as hard as he could into the wall in a nearby alley, but Sanji hadn't complained.
"Everybody knows, a turkey and some mistletoe, help to make the season bright."
A group of kids were having a snowball fight, one whizzing precariously close to Zoro's head as he passed. He remembered once, just before they got together, when they had a giant snowball fight during Luffy's party. At one point Sanji had him pinned on the ground. When Zoro looked up at him, he realized he really wanted to kiss him, and that he was more than a little bit in love with him.
"And so I'm offering this simple phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two."
He glanced around the street, at the last minute shoppers bustling between stores with arms full of packages, at the families strolling along appreciating the snow, at the couples walking hand in hand, blissfully unaware of anything but each other.
He sighed as he looked down at his own empty hand, and was hit with the stark realization that he was lonely.
"Although it's been said, many times, many ways."
He missed his friends. He missed Sanji. He wanted his boyfriend back. He didn't want to be alone for Christmas.
But it was far too late to do anything about that now. His friends were off doing their own holiday celebrations, and Sanji was stuck in fucking Wisconsin.
"Merry Christmas, to you."
With a sigh and a heavy heart, he made his way back to his empty home.
Night fell early, so Zoro started in on the eggnog, his favorite part of this stupid day.
He had the TV turned onto the yule log station, the digital crackling fire being a poor substitute for the warmth of the real thing while it blared annoying Christmas music.
He hated the stupid thing, it was definitely mocking him somehow, but he knew if Sanji had been here, this is what he would have wanted to do. At this point he was so desperate for any connection to him that he was even willing to put up with this.
"I'll be home for Christmas," the voice from the TV crooned, "You can plan on me."
"Yeah right," Zoro scoffed as he downed the rest of his eggnog. What a load of bullshit.
As he was mixing himself another eggnog, there was a knock at the door. He set the rum bottle down and made his way there.
"Christmas Eve will find me, where the love light gleams."
The knocking grew more insistent as he approached.
"Alright, I get it," he said as he undid the locks, "Hold your fucking horses."
"I'll be home for Christmas."
He threw the door open. Standing there in the doorway, looking beyond exhausted and shivering in the cold and absolutely beautiful, was Sanji.
"If only in my dreams."
The song faded away as Zoro stared at him, refusing to look away in case this wasn't real and Sanji vanished on him.
Sanji didn't vanish. He smiled at him and let out a soft, "Hey Marimo."
In one movement, Zoro surged forward and swept Sanji into his arms, kissing him with everything he was worth. Sanji fingers dug into his hair as he kissed him back just as hard, just as desperately.
As they reluctantly parted, catcalls and shouts of "You get your man, Candy-boy!" came from a nearby bus. Zoro looked over and saw a whole group of drag queens poking their heads out and cheering them on.
Sanji blushed fiercely as he presented them with his middle finger and shouted, "Fuck you!"
They laughed and blew them kisses as Sanji shouted, "Thanks for the ride!"
"We'll see you next week, darling!" One of them shouted back as the bus drove off.
"So," Zoro's hand slipped into Sanji's and he squeezed it tight, "What was that about?"
"They work with Ivankov. They gave me a lift." A cold wind blew, ruffling his hair and making him shiver more.
Zoro led him back in the apartment, shutting and locking the door behind them as Sanji dropped his bags and settled in.
"I saw on their Insta that they were in Chicago," he explained as he shucked off his coat, "I asked if they were heading back and if they could give me a ride. They said sure, if I could make my way to Chicago. Luckily I met this heart surgeon at the airport bar who had and important surgery in Chicago the next day so he was like, fuck the weather, and decided to drive there. He agreed to give me a ride in exchange for my limited edition Stealth Black card."
"You were stuck in an airport in Wisconsin and you managed to find someone else who likes that stupid Warriors of the Sea show?"
"I don't like the show," Sanji scoffed as he kicked off his boots, "The first few seasons were alright, I guess, but everything past season four is shit."
"I'm sure. That's why you watch it every week," Zoro rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but grin because, despite all odds, somehow Sanji was here, "So you gave a card to the nerd doctor to get to Chicago, and met up with the drag queens to get here?"
"Pretty much," he shook some snowflakes out of his hair, "I mean, I was stuck on a bus with them for twelve fucking hours, so."
Zoro cradled Sanji's face and ran a thumb across his lips, "That explains the lipstick."
"Yeah, well," he ran the back of his hand across his lips smudging it a bit, but this only made his lips more distracting, "I also agreed to help them out with their New Year's show, you know, in exchange for the ride, so there's our New Year's plans."
"Good," Zoro smirked, "It's been a while since I saw you in drag."
"Haha," Sanji leaned forward, sliding his arms over Zoro's shoulders and holding him loosely, "I don't plan on going on stage, but hey. You never know."
"I can live with that," Zoro grabbed Sanji's waist and pulled him closer, kissing him slowly and sweetly. Sanji moaned and he opened up to it, taking his time with the kiss and enjoying it.
Sanji hummed as they parted, his eyes opening slowly as he said, "Did you miss me?"
"Yeah," Zoro replied as he nosed at Sanji's neck, "Glad you made it."
"Glad to be here," he chuckled, grabbing Zoro's hand and leading him further into the apartment.
"And if the homophobia wasn't bad enough, then Aunt Marge starts in on the racism," Nami gestured with her wine glass. It sloshed a bit, not spilling, but she knocked her phone askew, causing her box in the upper left of Zoro's screen to shake as she set it right. When she was back to normal, she continued, "So I just looked at her and said, Marge, I don't believe we've met. I'm the communist Muslim immigrant who's banging your niece."
"You didn't!" Usopp shrieked from his box right below her.
"She did," Vivi groaned from her seat next to Nami as she took a sip from her own wine, leaning her head on Nami's shoulder.
"You are none of those things," Zoro pointed out, "Except the last one."
"Yeah, but the look on her face was priceless," Nami smirked, "She left soon after that. Real shame. Would have loved to have been seated next to her at dinner and start talking politics."
"You really thrive on tearing my family apart," Vivi laughed as she nuzzled her shoulder.
"Oh, no one wanted Marge here anyway," Nami scoffed, "Your one uncle with the bowtie came up and thanked me afterwards."
They all laughed, and Zoro felt Sanji reach across and grab his hand, just under the camera's line of sight so the others wouldn't see.
"My Christmas wasn't nearly as exciting," Usopp said once they'd calmed down, "The Bed and Breakfast opening went off without a hitch, so Kaya's inheritance is once again safe from the clutches of her evil uncle."
"Where is Kaya?" Luffy said as he leaned forward, causing his box in the middle of the screen to show nothing but his eyes, "Why isn't she talking with us?"
"Yeah!" Chopper added, bouncing a little in his box in the lower right, "We haven't seen her in forever!"
"What, am I not enough for you?" Usopp asked, clutching his chest in mock hurt.
"Of course not," Sanji said, squeezing Zoro's hand a little, "Why would we look at your ugly mug when we could be gazing at the eternally beautiful Ms. Kaya?"
"Can't argue with that," Usopp chuckled. "She's in town taking picking up some things for dinner."
"Oh," Luffy sat back down with a sigh."
"What about you, Luffy?" Jinbei asked from his box in the upper right. "Didn't you say something about a Christmas Tree farm when you left?"
"Oh, yeah," he shrugged and leaned back in his seat, "We took care of the mafia guys threatening the place, and the sheriff eventually agreed not to press charges, so typical Christmas, you know?"
"Yohoho," Brook laughed from his box above Luffy, "I can also report that my Christmas so far has avoided unfortunate skirmishes with law enforcement, although I doubt we'll be welcomed back into Greenville, Tennessee anytime soon."
"Do, we want to know?" Jinbei asked with a wince.
"I wouldn't mind hearing about it," Robin smiled in her box to the left of Luffy.
"Same," Franky said with a nod, wrapping a hand around her shoulders, "But, maybe save it until we get back on land."
"How is the honeymoon?" Sanji asked, "If he's not treating you right, Robin, feel free to let me know so I can kick his ass."
"He's treating me perfectly well," Robin smiled as she leaned her head on his shoulder, "The cruise is wonderful. Our fellow cruise goers, however, are a disappointingly dull."
"That's because your idea of small talk it ocean disasters," Franky said as he leaned in and kissed her head, "Which I dig."
"I just find it fascinating that the ocean we're sailing on is significantly warmer then when the Titanic sank. If we were to go down, surely more than a third of us would survive in these waters until help eventually arrived."
"What?!" Chopper's weak connection made his shout come out like a burst of static as his picture cut in and out, "Your ship is sinking?!"
"It's only a hypothetical," Robin was quick to assure him, "Don't worry."
"Oh, good," he sighed in relief and flopped back in his chair, "I'm assisting with vaccinating a small fishing village right now, so I've been seeing a lot of accidents at sea." His eyes darted across the screen, "You all know what to do when a shark attacks, right?"
"Yeah," Luffy grinned as he smacked his open palm with his fist, "Punch it first to establish dominance, and then have it take you back to shore."
Chopper stared at him with a slightly horrified look. He may have gone pale, but it was hard to tell on the computer screen.
"How was Hanukkah, Jinbei?" Brook asked as he stirred his tea a bit, "Yesterday was the last night, wasn't it?"
"Yes," he smiled wide, "It was great seeing everyone again. I mean, the first few nights were awkward what with the still active arrest warrant that I could have sworn I'd taken care of ages ago, but by the fifth night the spirit of Hanukkah really brought everyone together."
"That's wonderful to hear," Brook responded, "I do so hate outstanding arrest warrants."
Zoro smiled as his friends chattered on, content to sit back and listen to everyone excitedly recount their holidays. It wasn't the same as having them together in the same room, but it was nice. It was nice seeing everyone and talking to them.
"Someday soon, we all will be together," the singer's voice sang softly through the nearby speaker, "If the fates allow."
Sanji leaned further into him as he laughed at something Usopp said. When he rested his head on his shoulder, Zoro couldn't help but lean in and kiss it. Sanji snuggled closer still, rubbing his thumb across Zoro's knuckles.
"Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow."
Usopp launched himself into an elaborate story involving dragons that had Luffy and Chopper captivated, and Jinbei grinning wide and laughing freely. Vivi had snuck her way onto Nami's lap, and Nami was playing with her hair as she listened. Robin and Franky were whispering to each other and laughing over their shared secret. Brook was on mute, talking to someone off screen.
Not the same, no. But still good.
"So have yourself a merry little Christmas now."
Sanji settled further into his side, and he let the warm feeling of home and togetherness wash over him in comforting waves.
It really was better together.
Song lyrics are from Holly Jolly Christmas, The Christmas Song, I'll be Home for Christmas, and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.