Sam was turning restless in his sleep in these early morning hours as Castiel watched over him. In his current condition, there was little he could do for the boy except comfort him upon waking. Allow him to know that he was not alone in his struggles, that there were those that stood beside him, even if they could not be here in person. A small sound then the boy stilled. It would be a while before Lucifer let him go, unrested and unwell, worn down like a stone in a swift stream, regardless of the dreams that formed.
"Castiel."
He had felt his brother before he arrived, a courtesy he knew to him so that he would not be surprised but he did not like what he saw. Gabriel was serious, there was nothing of the mirth he normally possessed and he knew something had happened.
"You must not return to Sioux Falls for the time being," Gabriel went on, stiff and sober. He missed his playful brother, the one of old who laughed and flew through heaven like a bright streak. "I need you to keep going east. You'll need this."
His brother was handing him a cell phone and Castiel stared at it. "I already have one."
"My contact will call you on it. Don't panic, it's a demon."
"That does not set my mind at ease," Castiel said dryly staring at Gabriel, trying to understand what had happened. Something had disturbed his older brother greatly. "Is Dean –"
"Fine. Everything will be fine. Last horse rider, need you two to go sniff for a bit. Look interested and bring back intel."
"And of Death?"
"Taken care of."
Then Gabriel was just gone as though he desired not to answer any more questions. Castiel had a deep need to call Michael or Bobby, to ask what had happened. If they were still alive since in his state he doubted he would know of their deaths.
Sam twitched again, and Castiel could not help but to reach out, look into his mind, terrified he would see his fallen brother's true face. To his horror, that was not the face he was seeing, but Michael's. The archangel dying, reaching out, begging release as he bled upon creation, Sam unable to save him as the reapers came.
"Gabriel," he whispered, surprised when his brother returned.
The archangel could see the dream, already knew, muttering something about the damn psychics as he brushed his fingers against Sam's forehead. The dream of Michael melded into one of Dean taking Sam out to park when they were both so young that Dean had an innocence about him.
As Gabriel left he wished that he could grant Michael those lost moments all over again, give them to him as a shelter.
Instead, he sat on the opposite bed, focused on what was around them now. He could not help Sam in his battles with Lucifer but he could ensure their safety. To wait until morning when they would start again. He did not know what to tell Sam that would make him not want to turn back around. He felt it good that at least he had few hours to sort out that lie, a terrible necessity was learning to cope with.
Minutes ticked by and he paused in his ruminations, offering a prayer to Michael that he be well and that he would gladly stay with Sam, not knowing if his brother and friend could hear his voice anymore.
~x~
"This is a terrible plan."
"We do not have a plan," Castiel answered as Sam drove down the backroads heading east and tried not to groan.
The angel was right. They didn't have a plan. They didn't even have a clue as to what was going on except that they were supposed to be waiting for some random call to get information to go after a horseman. Which in the realm of nuttiness was ranking up there but they probably could crank the whole thing higher.
"Not the point, Cas," he finally said, the Impala pushing eighty though he didn't even know why he was speeding. It wasn't like they had a destination, just a goal in a vague, uneasy sort of way. "I mean, I know why they are trying to distract Lucifer, why we need to keep him thinking we're doing what we were doing but Dean's marbles are spilling out, Cas. I should be there to help with that." The angel looked at him and Sam rolled his eyes. "Put them back in, not make it worse."
"Gabriel is there to assist and is the safest around him if something happens. Bobby is assisting with directing hunters to other trouble spots. This is our part."
"Uh-huh."
Sam was not convinced. Oh no, and it wasn't just the lack of sleep that was starting to really get bad. It felt like he had been run over and had someone jump up and down on him afterward to make sure he was done. Just over and over, so much of it just knowing that Lucifer's game was to torture him in this slow methodic way that any sleep provided little rest regardless if Satan himself was present and it made so little sense. Didn't any of these dickheads ever stop and think about being nice? That they would probably fall all over themselves for nice at this point? Not that he was going to point that out to the devil dream stalking him. He didn't need more help in that area, thank you very much.
The ring of the phone made him jump and of course, it was 'I'm Too Sexy'. Sam managed to pull the car over as Cas just stared at the phone in confusion.
"Here," Sam said reaching over and picking up the call. "Hello?"
"Sam? Hey, thought it might be Castiel," said a familiar voice that sounded skittish over the phone.
"Chuck?" Sam asked slowly as he lowered the cell, hitting the speaker, Cas looking over and listening intently.
"Yeah, hey guys. I always hate doing this meta thing. Makes the headaches worse."
"Uh, sorry about that."
A sigh, something rustling, and Sam wondered how much he had to drink at this point as it sounded like a glass falling over, shattering, and some muffled cursing. "Look, I only got a window of like, uh, maybe a few minutes, well, not even that. I'm the call to make you tolerate the second. I think that's how it works. I don't know, man, I just obey the scary angel."
"Which scary angel?" Cas asked since that described most of them.
"That pagan one of our mutual acquaintance. Though I rather wish he wasn't. He put candy in all my kitchen drawers. Took hours to clean up."
That answered that question then. He didn't think heaven's brigade would do that if they were trying to impersonate Gabriel simply because they wouldn't think of it and didn't appear to be the creative crowd. Cas was staring at the phone, seeming to think about something.
"Look, he got me a brief out of heaven's radar thing so they don't know what's happening with your brother. You're going to get a phone call and you need to trust who's calling. Well trust, not so much, as to know he's not trying to screw you over right now."
"Who is it?"
"A demon."
"What?" was all Sam could get out before something like a timer dinged in the background on Chuck's end.
"Sorry guys, gotta go, times up."
There was a flash on the screen of the dropped call and Sam looked over at the angel. "I feel not comforted, you?"
Before the angel could answer the phone rang out with the same song again, displaying a different number and Sam sighed. Because it was bad, worse than he figured, as he answered, automatically turning on speakerphone.
"Hello?"
"Giant. I assume feathers is with you." A British voice that Sam couldn't place. It was slightly familiar but he couldn't say, though Cas' face was stormy.
"Who is this?"
"Your friendly neighborhood demon, Crowley."
"Yeah no," Sam said, ending the call.
"Sam."
"Cas, that is the bastard that gave us the Colt. That sent us after Lucifer with something that wouldn't kill the bastard and almost got us all killed. That got Jo and Ellen dead. Not dealing with a demon."
"Perhaps we should hear him out," the angel was saying as the phone rang. Sam just glared at it harder, willing it to combust. "Gabriel went to a great length to try to get us to understand why this was necessary."
Sam still refused before Cas let out a soft sound and answered hitting the button for speakerphone that Sam assumed he had watched done before. "Speak," the angel growled.
"Look I don't like you, you don't like me. We can move past that," the slimily bastard said.
"You sent us into a trap."
"I did no such thing!" the demon protested. "Look, honestly I didn't know it wouldn't work. I swear, a true blue mistake but we learn from them and nothing's changed. I still want the devil dead. Well," Crowley paused and Sam waited, wanting to hang up again. "He knows I want him dead now which now makes me the most buggered son in all of creation."
"I feel so badly for you," Sam said turning the car back on.
"They burned down my house! They ate my tailor."
"Not our problem."
"See, this is why I wanted your squirrelly brother. I was told that wasn't possible. He's much more reasonable."
Sam snorted because Dean and reasonable were currently occupying different ends of the galaxy right now.
"Worked with demons, got hosed, not doing it again."
"Be sensible," the demon complained. "I had a very angry angel who I thought was pagan up to a few hours ago with a nasty sword threatening me along with every demon in creation looking for me. I have more to lose here than you."
"Outside of getting Lucifer's unending mercy if you deliver me on a silver platter," Sam said reaching over to turn the phone off before he heard the demon laugh.
"Bloody hell, no. He hates us. You know that I know that, everyone except my thickheaded former colleagues knows that. I want him gone so I can go back to what I was doing and we can all be merry enemies like before."
"Wait a sec," Sam said hitting the mute button before turning to the angel next to him. "Please tell me you are not seriously considering this."
"Sam," Cas started and Sam knew that the answer was a resounding yes. "We are trying to keep Lucifer ignorant of certain things. Looking like we are forming our own force and taking him down will enhance that image greatly."
"Demon, Cas."
"I will end him if he steps out of line." There was true power under that voice, something old and pretty pissed at the idea of a demon even being there.
Sam sighed again and unmuted the phone.
"We have your word you don't try anything and we don't kill you during this."
"Sounds good to me."
"Tell him, Cas," he said, since he was fairly certain angel GPS was working better than his half hazard guesses at where they were. Which it was when the angel gave the demon exact directions to the Impala.
A moment later Crowley was in the back seat, the smug bastard looking actually worse for wear with a tear in his suit and slightly dirty. Cas was beside him in a blink, blade drawn at the demon's neck who flinched more than Sam was expecting. Maybe he was running, maybe he was telling the truth. Or maybe it was a long con because they did that too.
"Love you too, wings," Crowley got out as the point of the sword hit against his Adam's apple. "Is this really necessary?"
"Yes," Cas said simply.
"Before we go there's one thing you should know. The other reason I wanted your brother to go get this reluctant informant."
"And that is?" Sam asked, turning as he knew there was always something more. Something that always made these things so much worse was always lurking.
"Mind you, I'm telling you upfront as full disclosure."
Cas just let out a low sound and Crowley swallowed.
"Look, the particular one we're after is the handler but I've heard you know him. Names Brady."
"No," Sam said, not really forming other words because he knew that name. The name of the guy that introduced him to Jess at Stanford because he wouldn't forget that. The one who slid off the good path and got into drugs and he hit his hand against the steering wheel in frustration. That son-of-a-bitch had played him, Lucifer had been stringing him along with his entire life even when he never knew about devils and angels and all of that crap.
"Sam," he heard Cas saying and he shook his head not wanting to hear. "We need the information. Then afterward he will be expendable. You do know the word expendable, demon?"
Sam turned around in time to see Cas closer, eyes glowing and genuine fear in the demons face and smiled something unpleasant. There was a point to that. He had a family to make sure the bastard suffered if something went wrong.
"Lovely word, that," Crowley babbled looking at them. "Can't say it's my favorite or even in my top five hundred but am acquainted with it."
"Good," Cas said drawing back a little and Sam looked at them in the review mirror.
"If anything happens, Crowley, just know that whatever Cas does to you, our brothers will magnify by one hundred."
He enjoyed the complete terror across that face as he pulled back out onto the highway.
~x~
"This is a terrible plan," Dean complained as he and Bobby sat on the porch drinking beer. To his dismay, he had found alcohol had zero effect on him now that he had re-found his grace. Or bonded with it. Or whatever the hell Gabriel had done after giving his insides a good feel.
"Whelp, it's the one we got unless you want to go all might and muscle and deal with that fallout," the old man said leaning against the porch railing. "Would rather not want heaven and hell to have any more impact on the earth than what we got going on now. Want to trade in that, too."
The old man paused for a moment, looking at him. "If you're here, that brother of yours up there ought to know you aren't there. Why is he so hot to trot to get your body?"
"Appearances." Dean shrugged. "Luci's out and about, heaven knows I would need something to wear. Doubt dear old Raphi told them anything, especially since Cas didn't know I was missing from the heavenly reaches."
"Any afterlife place to go that's not messed up?"
"Where's the fun in that?" he asked, enjoying the constipated look he got back. "Heaven's still probably the best bet. No monsters running around unless your life's best hits include 'em."
"I guess, as long as nothing is actually eating me."
Dean smiled around the mouth of the bottle before taking another sip. At least it was familiar unlike the jangled mess inside him. Yeah, he had wings and a whole host of other powers but it wasn't quite him and him at the same time. Two lives all meshed up and sown together and it didn't feel good, like some sort of deep itch that he was never going to be able to scratch. Especially after Death.
"Boy, what's eating you?" Bobby finally asked and Dean raised an eyebrow. "Outside of your identity crisis over there."
"Like that's not enough. Surprised you even want to sit near me."
"Still, Dean," the old man said and Dean looked overseeing those eyes on him. "Still the snot-nosed kid that wiped his face on shirt sleeves and hid dirty magazines that he'd forget under the mattress for me to find."
"Try not to spread it around, got an image." A huff, something like a laugh, and he smiled a bit at that. "I mean that -" he didn't even know how to finish and waved his hand listless getting a head shake.
"Son, I've known you've been crazy six ways to Sunday for years now. Your life hasn't helped you out a lot on that. Figured that don't mean you should have to be alone or not with family."
"Thanks, Bobby."
"Besides, if you do snap and kill me I know you won't mean it." Dean just stared at the old man who shrugged and took another swig of his beer. "Can't help to think what you're carrying around now. Already had too much as it was, now you got eons more. With your brother running around pulling that crap he did –"
"Bobby, I am so sorry," he got out but the old man shook his head at him, attention fully on him now.
"Don't you be sorry, boy, ya hear me. Wasn't your fault that stunt he pulled. At least knowing what was going on, what to expect… Can't say putting her back in the ground a second time was easier or better or any of that nonsense but at least we were aware of his little mind screw."
Dean couldn't look anymore, staring out over the salvage yard, the cars dimly lit in the security lights. They were safe here for the time being. He and Gabriel had seen to that what with his whole head full of new knowledge and languages that he was still trying to pry into place with that human life he had. That terrible haunting knowledge that they had to stay ahead of Lucifer because his brother would rip his soul apart in glee to make him into what was left and Dean was fairly certain there wouldn't be a lot except a killing machine at that point.
A soft sound and Gabriel was at the bottom of the steps. Bobby was lifting himself up off the porch and Dean wanted to protest that he didn't have to leave but it died on his lips at that face that looked down at him. That face that didn't hate him and still wanted him around.
"Talk to someone, you idjit," the old man muttered before going inside.
Gabriel had an amused look on his face at that before it slid into something complicated. That same look he had been getting since he blurted out what Death had told him like a stupid human and not some all-powerful archangel who once held the world in his hand. Gabriel had been acting strange and weird and it was really hard to take. He was still angry but it was hard to hold onto it when he got that weirdness that Sam had when he didn't know what to do but wanted to do something.
It was odd to think how much earth had rubbed off on his little brother after all this time.
"So, no random sprees into semi madness I take it," Gabe was saying coming a little closer.
"Nope, not yet. The night's still young, though."
A sigh and his brother sat down beside him as they looked out over the yard. Dean decided one of the things he missed the most about being fully human was sleep. Sure, he had nightmares and had to drink himself stupid sometimes but it killed those hours where it was just waiting. Being all angel made a difference in that, it really did. Time wasn't really important to them unlike now, where it was a crawl like his soul was personally counting off all the seconds and it made him twitchy.
To his surprise, a hand was on his shoulder.
"Didn't peg you for being all touchy-feely," he complained, catching his brother before he could rethink it.
"Forgot Dean Winchester was too macho."
"Not all, Dean," he said quietly and Gabriel shook his head.
"You're both, you couldn't be one without the other anymore."
Dean stretched out some of his wings as he draped them over his brother, feeling Gabriel lean into him. He wanted to point out he was still pissed, he was still hurt and it felt like part of him would be that wide yawning wound. Just like with Sammy but that one was slowly getting better. Maybe this would, too, though they couldn't go back. Not to how they were when it had been good and heaven young and he had held Gabriel close and told him he was perfect.
"I didn't know it was you that they had," Gabriel said, his voice so soft that human ears wouldn't have caught the words.
"I dislike when you are so serious," he replied, hoping to stop this conversation.
"I would have come," his brother went on and Dean mentally begged him to shut up. "Even if I had to kill every demon in creation to get you out. Just for touching you."
"Don't."
That dirty feeling was all through him again, of what he had done. The knife he had held, the empty hollow he had thought hell had thoughtfully carved out but probably just had that Alastair had burrowed into and widened until it consumed him enough he could be what was wanted.
QUANSB DS I GE C ASCHA
He was almost flying, the old commands echoing through him, when his brother caught him, probably one of the only ones that could even given his current state. They were in the middle of the yard, as far as he had gotten and he wanted to not be here right now. To not be touched as Gabriel took his chin staring into his eyes.
"Let me be, Gabriel."
"No."
His breath, if he had needed it, was knocked out as he felt his little brother push a hand inside his flesh, through the covering of skin and muscle and bone. All the way where he himself dwelled and he sank to his knees at it, Gabriel allowing them the slow slide down. Michael panted, fingers digging into his brother's shoulders tearing at the cloth and flesh. He had wanted to trust so badly, wanted to believe they would come back no matter how many times they left him bleeding, that he had left himself open.
"You stupid, stubborn ass," his little brother breathed against his ear. "Let me help you."
There was no pain, just the feeling of Gabriel, all Gabriel, unfolding delicately alongside his own abused form, weaving along the cracks and fractures, sealing and threading them together better. Allowing that dissonance to drift away to a low buzz as he felt more of himself, all that he was now, flow together a bit better.
"Gabriel," Michael said, hands falling limp, the only thing keeping him up was his brother.
"Jesus, Mikey, you're still bleeding. You've got to stop doing this to yourself, stop eating yourself alive."
"You shouldn't want to touch something like me."
"You were a human soul in hell," his brother answered and Dean shook his head because that was only the tip of the whole fucking iceberg of failure he had going on. "I sold my divinity and you ripped yours out, both of us trying to get away from our family's pile of issues. I'm not exactly a shining example of purity."
"Why'd you leave?"
Dean could feel the grief ripple through as Gabriel kept trying to coax him back together feeling like that antique doll he had seen one time at some house they and dad had squatted in. All fractured and glued back together over and over again by loving hands until something had made her not worth taking. Gabriel shifted carefully and Dean realized it was so he wouldn't be able to see that face so well. As if his brother's hand wasn't currently fondling him and he got a small laugh at that image.
"I was terrified of what you were becoming. You wouldn't let me see this. You were the one who told me I should stand up to you."
"Saying it like that makes us both sound batshit," Dean complained, trying not to dwell on the fact that Gabriel ever thought he would hurt him like that. Strike him down but a deep part of him that was still dark and twisted whispered that he might of then.
"Yeah, well, here we are because of your sage advice about yourself."
"I feel like we should be killing something. It is the apocalypse."
"Shut it, Mike. You always felt like we should be vanquishing something." Before he could retort that he was a warrior he felt Gabriel's grace grow brighter. "Just rest for once, Mikey, that's all we can do for right now anyway."
Dean nodded, knowing that they had to stay under heaven's radar, out of Lucifer's sight. For right now they had to play this game in the shadows before the real finale came.