"Well, this is boring," said Sirius, who was casually bouncing a rat he'd caught with the levitation charm. "Does anyone have any better ideas of what we should do?"
"We could do the homework we're supposed to have done for tomorrow," suggested Remus, which was met with laughter from the others. "Yeah, I figured that would probably be the response."
"Hexing Snape's always fun," said James. "Who's up for that?"
"Absolutely," said Peter. "I mean, if you guys are doing it too."
"Eh, sure," said Sirius nonchalantly.
"I'm going to just point out that doing it is bad for several reasons," said Remus. "First, Snape knows how to hex you back. Sometimes worse than whatever you hit him with. Remember the Broccoli Incident?"
"Hey, they stopped coming out of there after half an hour without a trip to Madame Pomfrey," said James.
"The other main problem is the fact that you still have a crush on Lily, better known as Severus's best friend," pointed out Remus.
"I'd argue that I'm her best friend, but continue," said Sirius.
"On top of that…" started Remus.
"Remus, your objections are heard and shall be promptly ignored," said Peter. "Now, let's mess with Severus." This comment was met with cheers from the other two as they headed off to find their victim, with Remus sighing in resignation.
"Guess I better make sure this doesn't get too out of hand," said Remus to himself as he followed them.
It didn't take long to find Severus, who was sitting outside in a quiet corner of a courtyard. "Okay, here's the plan," said James. "The four of us approach him from a different angle, and hit him with four different hexes at the same time."
"What do you mean 'us'?" asked Remus. "Like I always say when we do this, I'm here to stop anyone killing each other. Whatever happens here is between you and Severus."
"Wimp," said Peter.
"I'm sorry, how many times have I been hexed compared to you guys?" asked Remus. "That's right, zero. Severus knows I'm not involved in this, and leaves me alone."
"Fine, Remus is chickening out," said James. "It'll be just as funny with three hexes, I suppose."
"I don't think 'not participating in something that will hurt' counts as 'chickening out'," said Remus to himself, as the other three positioned themselves.
Severus didn't seem to notice the group, even though Remus was sure they'd been pretty obvious. Still, he kept watch from a distance, prepared to swoop in if necessary. Remus watched as the other three crept forwards with their wands drawn. It was only then that Remus saw Severus already had his wand out, just barely concealed by his robes. Before Remus could call out about the ambush, Severus struck.
"LEVICORPUS!" yelled Severus, catching James by surprise as he was suddenly flung into the air and hung upside down. Sirius and Peter jumped back in surprise, though Sirius was preparing to attack. "LANGLOCK!" Sirius went to cast something, but couldn't get any words out. It was as if his tongue had stopped working. Finally, Severus spun around to face Peter.
"H…hey, buddy," said Peter, nervously backing away. "So, ah, it was all their idea, and I was just going along with it because…uh…"
"Because you're a coward who can't think for himself and hides behind the protection of his much more powerful friends? Is that it?" asked Severus, venom dripping off every word. "Don't bother denying it, it's obvious to everyone who meets you."
"HA! You hear that?" called James, still hanging upside down. "Snivellus admits I'm a powerful wizard."
"Just because you're clearly talented doesn't mean you've earned an ounce of respect," said Severus, not even turning to acknowledge James. "Now, as for you Peter…"
"Please Severus…" begged Peter, as Severus raised his wand.
"SECT…" started Severus, just as he felt someone grab his arm.
"Enough, Severus," said Remus, gently lowering Severus's arm. "It's not brave to attack an opponent who's surrendered."
Severus glared at him for a moment. "Remus, I don't have much love for you or your friends," said Severus. "But at least you have the decency to not attack someone for no good reason. You'd do well to teach that to these friends of yours, or I might be a little less forgiving next time." Severus went back to the spot he was sitting earlier and picked up his book. He then grabbed a rock, and placed it under James's head. "Liberacorpus," he said, causing James to drop headfirst onto the rock before he left.
"Well, I hope you've all learned your lesson," said Remus, looking around at the three of them. "That Severus…"
"That we need to be even sneakier next time we decide to hex Snivellus," said James. "Got it." Sirius responded by nodding his head enthusiastically.
"James, you do realise you're bleeding from a head wound, right?" asked Remus.
James touched his forehead, then looked at his stained red hand. "So I am," said James. "Come on, we can come up with ideas on the way to the Hospital Wing." He left with the other three, leaving Remus behind shaking his head.
"Idiots," he muttered, before following them.