Chapter 6:
Zuko breathed in, the cold air chilling his throat and lungs. He had packed all of his belongings into a few bags, planning to take them with him to the Earth Kingdom. There wasn't much to pack, merely clothes (he had had the foresight to pack Earth Kingdom clothes along with Fire Nation clothes) and the many books there were in the ship's library. Those books would be the key to his assimilation into Earth Kingdom society. While they often had a haughty and biased view on the customs and faux paus of Earth Kingdom Culture, the Fire Nation books still contained the truth. Ozai might wish for nationalist propaganda to be published, but he still understood the time-tested maxim that knowledge was power. Ozai and Azula may scoff and say that power is power, but they knew that knowledge – the access and importance of the dispersal of information was still an incredibly powerful force. Among the cultural books there were also firebending manuals, something Zuko would require, as he was now without a firebending teacher.
The books had been written in order to teach the future administrators of the conquered territories the local social customs, the Fire Nation knew that the newly conquered territories would not undergo cultural assimilation immediately; Zuko would use the books in a more benign manner – Zuko himself would assimilate into the local culture. The books were also an extremely powerful bargaining chip – information was power, and these books were tomes of information, listing the cities' approximate populations, the cities' defenses, and a slew of other in-depth factoids that would be of great interest for any military leader interested in sparking revanchist fervor and retaking conquered territory. Needless to say, the books were his most valuable possession, the only other possession coming close to it being his money – which Zuko was unsure if it counted as a possession at all.
"It would be easy to give even just one of those books to a general and land a comfortable bureaucrat job in a city somewhere," whispering Zuko's brain, indulging in the exercise of fantasizing about what might be.
"No," thought Zuko, "I won't end up with some minor bureaucratic job in some city near the front lines of the war. It's far too risky, and besides, it would be an unfitting end for the son of the Firelord."
It would be a disgrace for an administrator of Zuko's caliber to end up as a minor bureaucrat in some war-torn city on the frontlines of the war. Not to mention that it was likely that the city he would be assigned to would, with Zuko's luck, be promptly conquered by the Fire Nation – and Zuko either executed, imprisoned, recognized as the son of the Firelord (and who knew how that would end up), or any other item on the list of things that Zuko never wanted happening to him.
Zuko had always had different skills than Azula. While his father had emphasized firebending abilities above all else, along with a minor focus towards Fire Nation history, Zuko instead was better in his pecuniary, administrative, and mathematical classes. Zuko's talent in these classes was far more than just salient, he could be considered a prodigy of the topics. His father, however, paid no attention to this fact, and continued to berate him for his average firebending skills and his tendency to freeze and panic under stress. Azula, however, did take note of his talent in these classes, finding ways to tease him even about the fields he was talented in. She said that those fields were for commoners, and that it was the job of royals to inspire nationalism and invoke fear, and to delegate the responsibility of administration to commoners – taking Zuko's successes and turning them failures. It still hurt, what his father and Azula said about him, despite his efforts to ignore them and to bury the sadness deep within himself. His mother, however, did take note of his gift for administration and financial matters, encouraging them and nurturing them. She even gave Zuko the opportunity to practice his prowess. Zuko's mother ran their houses herself, running the finances and staff of their houses while Ozai engaged in politics in the court of Firelord Azulon. He remembered that, shortly before his tenth birthday, his mother had started to show him the financial spreadsheets and employee lists and had taught him how to fill them out and use them. For any other kid, it would have been excruciating torture. For Zuko, it was some of his happiest memories. She continued to teach him about finance and administration, having her own tips and tricks that he ingrained in his memory, many of them aiding him in his administration and pecuniary classes. Once, when Zuko was ten, he found a more efficient way of organizing the employees' schedules. After sharing it with his mother, she gave him a hug and told him how proud she was of him; it was Zuko's happiest memory. A tear ran down Zuko's face as he stood in the street, carrying his bags.
Zuko had been absolutely devastated when Ursa had left when he was eleven. He often wondered why Ursa didn't take him with her when she had been banished from the Fire Nation. Perhaps she thought that it was too dangerous to take him with her, perhaps she thought he would be happier enjoying life in the palace then wherever she fled too. Whatever it was, Zuko was sure she had his best interests in mind. Even so, Zuko wished that she had taken him with her when she had been banished that one fateful night. Another tear fell from Zuko's eyes, then another, then another, and then another. Soon a torrent of tears began pouring out of Zuko's eyes – he was crying. He sat down on a bench, bawling his eyes out, his face filled with tears pouring down his nose and falling to the ground. He continued to do this for a while, before wiping the tears from his eyes and standing up. Zuko picked up his bags, and stared into the moonless sky, the stars covering for its absence. He perked up at the thought of possibly reuniting with his mother in his journey, even though it was unlikely to happen. He was sure that his mother was still out there, somewhere, and he hoped that one day, he would see her again.
Authors Note: I decided to try out a different writing style while writing this one. Yes, it was pretty much just Zuko reminiscing about his childhood, but I thought it was a good chapter. Anyway, I broke out into tears while writing the last paragraph.