At first, he counted the raindrops as they fell. It was tedious and painfully monotonous, really- but he thought maybe if he could focus on the numbers he might be able to forget how every sharp droplet felt as if it shot right through him, piercing like knives and rubbing his skin raw and sensitive.
After that proved to be fruitless, he tried reciting the periodic table. It had long since been instilled in him, both through his own diligence as well as the less than gentle teachings of Izumi Curtis, and it was easy and familiar. The elements came easily to mind as he proceeded across the entire table, listing off the atomic masses, valence electrons, electronegativity charges and anything and everything else he could conjure up in order to keep his mind detached from his body.
It didn't work quite as well as he had hoped it would, even if he had been at it long enough for the sun to creep beneath the horizon, taking any meager warmth it provided down with it.
Nothing could ever distract him enough to ignore the heat being sapped away from his core through the pavement he laid upon. He still felt every nauseating raindrop drip drip dripping against his skin until it grew stark white and stiff with cold. His joints locked and his body trembled and shook until it burned itself out and he no longer had the energy left to shiver.
Up until that moment, he didn't realize it was possible for his mind to still so completely, and he may have been unsettled had he the capacity to feel such a thing at the time. He knew not how long it had been nor how much longer he had left to wait, and the question of if he'd last long enough to be found remained unsaid yet heavy in the air. There was a nagging yearn within him, and somewhere beneath all the static in his head there was something screaming at him to wait, to hang on and to keep his eyes open no matter what. It left him with such an intense feeling of urgency and vague panic, but he could no longer quite remember why. His body felt blurry as did his mind, and though he torqued and fought against the force that tried pulling him under, he couldn't help but wonder if it was worth it anymore.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
What was he waiting for?
What was so important that he couldn't afford a few minutes of rest?
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Everything radiated a deep ache and although he was always sore when the rain came and changed the pressure in the hollows of his missing joints, he had never felt anything quite like what he felt then. It burned and stung until it was numb and he was sinking faster with every passing second with nothing to do but claw at any remnants of peace of mind he had left in desperate attempts to stay afloat.
He was never very good at swimming, even before he had anchoring limbs soldered to his bones.
The rain drummed against the pavement and scoured his eardrums until it all droned out into one big buzz, he might've tried to block it out had he been able to move his heavy arms. The sound was just about to knock him off of his rocker, when he began to hear traces of muffled voices ebbing through the thick air. He was quite certain his mind had finally caved into itself, when a beam of light cut through the fog and shone upon his face- sending lightning bolts of pain through his eyes and into his skull. He screwed his eyes shut and made to press the palms of his hands against his eyes only to find he couldn't get his limbs to listen to him. He settled for a slight turn of his head accompanied with a moan of annoyance discomfort.
Turn off the lights, Al. I'm trying to sleep.
The voices grew louder and more frantic and he thought he might have heard his name, but it was impossible to tell over the rush of blood in his ears.
Boots slapped against wet pavement and the light beams multiplied and grew brighter, dancing over his body in a fit of mania.
Everything was getting much quieter now.
He couldn't find the strength to open his eyes, even as there were hands all over him, fingers pressing against the crook of his neck and peeling him off of the concrete, igniting a new wave of hurt through his unreasonably sore body.
He let out a sharp whine and crinkled his brow, being met with several indiscernable murmurs of comfort. Words were tossed around, but they were smeared and smudged at the edges. He wondered why they sounded worried.
"...ward...stay...me...Ed...come on..."
Everything hurt.
"...'s okay...not yet...eyes...'s okay..."
He wanted his mom.
"...awake...kid...here...stay...Ed..."
Everything grew heavier.
As he walked the edge of consciousness, he felt a brief moment of warmth— before he took the plunge, and in an instant, every spark of pain and every swirling thought became overwhelmingly nothing.
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
It was dark when they finally found him.
They had scoured every inch of road heading out of Central, questioned countless possible witnesses, blocked off every damned exit, and it only led to hours of nothing but thin leads and a few drags from Havoc's cigarette.
Of course it ended up being one of the last roads they searched.
At the far east end of the city that many people didn't know existed there were a few roads that were pretty much abandoned— they were long and winding and would take you on a twenty minute journey to the highway whereas a road a few kilometers away would get you there in five. The people of the city tended to crave speed and efficiency over anything, so the area never got much use.
God, it was so obvious! Why didn't they search there first?
It was 15 minutes of driving through thick sheets of rain, and he could feel the tension in the air. It was just him and Havoc in the car, as they had thought it best to split up earlier on in order to cover more ground. The man fidgeted and eyed the raging torrents apprehensively, and Roy knew the suggestion to turn back lingered on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't dare break the silence. He didn't blame him, he was a force to be reckoned with when under stress—especially when it came to Edward.
But the rain kept coming and the wipers could hardly keep up, and he was beginning to ponder if turning back really was such a bad idea after all when the headlights fell upon a small bundle laid in the middle of the road.
Roy's heart stopped in his chest, and he wasn't sure he even put the vehicle in park before he was leaping from the car and running like his life depended on it, flashlight held tightly in hand.
When it rains, it fucking pours.
He skidded to his knees next to Edward with Havoc on his heels, his stomach plummeted as soon as his eyes fell upon the boy's diluted form.
He was curled into a tight ball with hair plastered against his pale face, tendrils trailing down his jaw and leading to blue-tinged lips. His eyes were sunken and still bruised, and he would have thought for sure the boy was gone had it not been for the way his face scrunched up in discomfort and the soft whine that escaped him.
It was if Roy was hovering out of his body, his mind going blank and every joint locking up, unable to do anything but stare at the frail and unbearably tiny form laid out in front of him.
He cursed whatever deity out there to hell and back and tried desperately not to think about the fact that he might be too late.
Jean fell to his knees beside him, eyes wide as his hand shot directly underneath Ed's jawline to track his pulse, paying no mind to the frigid water seeping into his pants.
Roy had to will himself through his shock to move, and it took everything in him not to break down into a slurry of sobs upon seeing his kid looking so lifeless.
His kid.
Ever so gently, he slid his hands beneath his back and carefully sat him up, eliciting a trail of pained whimpers.
"Shh...I know, kid. I'm sorry. I've got you, you're okay now." He soothed, rubbing a hand frantically over the boy's sopping back in fruitless attempts to warm him.
"Colonel, we need to get him out of here." Jean interjected, his face paling. "He's dangerously hypothermic, and his pulse is thready at best."
Roy almost wished he had missed the tremor in the man's voice.
He didn't want everyone else to be scared because then that would mean that it's real and Edward's very life really was hanging in the balance.
His ears were ringing as he scooped that precious, precious bundle up off of the pavement, trying desperately not to think about how the boy's skin was so cold that it stung his own, or how he was too frozen to even shiver.
"Edward, stay with me, Ed. Come on." He pleaded, trying to keep the kid awake even though he could get no response besides small squeaks of pain or the occasional unintelligible mumbles of obvious discomfort.
"You gotta stay awake, don't fall asleep yet, kid. Not yet. I'm here now, you're gonna be fine. Just stay awake, kiddo."
His own words sounded far off and muffled in his ears, the soft ramblings greatly overpower by the sound of hard-hitting rain and ominous thunder.
He stumbled towards the car as fast as his trembling knees could carry him , following the path of the headlights.
Everything kind of blurred to a hazy film as soon as he had that nearly frozen child in his arms, and he only barely registered sliding into the back seat with Ed in his lap, Jean taking Roy's previous position behind the wheel without question.
He had peeled off the boy's heavy clothes off of him as soon as the car began to speed away, revealing stark white skin painted splotchy red with cold. Without a second thought, he shimmied out of his coat and wrapped it tightly around Edward and pulled him close to his chest, even though the boy was cold enough to send shivers down the man's own spine.
He murmured soft nothings the whole ride, though he was sure Edward wasn't near coherent enough to understand what he was saying. His arms stayed locked around the boy, his grip unrelenting even through the twists and turns of Jean's frantic driving that were enough to nearly knock him out of his seat.
He trembled with both cold and barely bridled panic, his hand rubbing up and down Ed's back in a way that he hoped was comforting. His mind wandered to places of static, and despite never having been a religious man, he prayed.
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
It all came back to him slowly, bits of reality fizzling in like a radio with a broken antenna.
He began to remember murmurs and fleeting feelings of panic but he couldn't quite recall the cause, and despite having no reason to believe so, he wondered if he was dead— then it all came rushing back.
Icepicks digging into his skin, screaming ringing in his ears, cutting winds and water so cold it was agony and I'm dead I'm dead I'm deadI'mdeadI'mdeadmdeadmdead-
He gasped, shooting up in his place with wide eyes that stung with the sudden burst of light.
Light? Am I at the gate?
He blinked, bringing shapes slowly into focus- the ringing in his ears yielding to soft and questioning voices. His heart hammered in his chest, and amidst his panic, he realized that he was warm.
Really, truly, warm— the kind that he was sure couldn't be mimicked, even in death.
The haze in front of his eyes faded away, and suddenly he was met with two concerned eyes of charcoal staring into him.
Mustang?
"...lo? Edward? Can you hear me?"
He could only blink owlishly at the man, trying desperately to sort through the many conflicting thoughts rampaging through his head. Somehow, he managed a small nod.
"Good, good. That's good." Mustang sighed, hands Ed didn't even realize were on his shoulders slipping off to rub wearily at the man's face. "It's okay, you're safe, everyone's safe. You're at the hospital, do you remember what happened?"
That was a good question, Ed decided- and now that he had come to his senses enough to take a look around, the white walls and machinery explained themselves.
Did he remember? He certainly remembered something, and though the memory itself was enough to send shivers down his spine, he didn't really know what it was.
"I, um... don't know?" His voice was weak and timid even in his own ears, though he loathed to admit it.
Mustang nodded understandingly, his brow slightly pinched.
"Okay, the doctor mentioned your head might be a little fuzzy, so don't worry about it." He explained, his voice soft. "Well, you've been under protection for a while, remember? There was some people out to hurt you, and you were taken by them earlier. We found you a few hours ago soaked to the bone and near frozen."
With a jolt, everything in his head slipped into place, bringing an unanswered question to light. He took a slow and shaky breath.
"Is it over?"
Mustang pondered for a moment, his gaze never leaving Ed's. A smile weak with relief broke out across his face.
"Yeah," He let out with a humourless chuckle. "Yeah, Ed. It's over."
The feeling that washed over him at that was indescribable in any words other than pure unadulterated bliss, and if it brought a few tears to his eyes, well, no one had to know.
"It's really over? It's all done? For real?" He choked out, voice shaking.
Mustang grinned, wide and bright and such an amazing sight to see.
"For real." He replied with a giddy nod.
In a mess of teary smiles and trembling laughs, they ended up in a tight hug, rocking gently side to side. The pressure was enough to ignite the lingering bruises on his torso, but he didn't dare let go— because for the first time in what felt like so, so long, he felt something he forgot he missed.
Safe.