Playlist: I'm Still Standing - Elton John

THEN:

This wasn't what Bella meant when she had told Riley she wanted to "just forget her day."

It had been another rough day for Bella - school was horrible, she'd been accidentally mean to her friends and her mother was furious with her. More and more, she could see herself becoming someone she despised with everyone she loved despising her too.

The night had started out alright. As usual, she'd rode around with Riley, Jacob and Leah. They smoked, drank, popped and snorted before making it back to Jake's. It was his 20th Birthday and his roommates had his birthday party in full swing for at least 3 hours- nevermind the absence of the parties honored guest.

Higher than heaven, Bella found her way to the dance floor immediately. Alone, in groups, in a pair - as long as there was a beat, she moved to it. It was only a few hours later that Bella felt off. In addition to her severe sweating, her hands shook, her stomach flipped and her teeth were clenched so hard she was sure they were glued together. She wanted to leave. Now.

Frantically searching the party for Riley was unsuccessful. She'd shuffled into rooms, bathrooms and the kitchen all with no luck. Finally, she decided she couldn't stand the muffled air and needed to head outside. Maybe Riley would be there?

As it turns out, he was there standing next to Jake with his arm slung casually over a tall blondes shoulder. Already feeling intensely wrong, Bella could barely contain her irritation at the scene before her. It made her feel even more sick.

Walking up to the trio, Bella opened her mouth to speak.

"I need to go home." She'd managed to croak.

Riley looked down at the blonde and then his phone's screen. "Now?"

"Yes, now. I don't feel good."

He rolled his eyes, before giving her a once over. He noticed her pale face, hooded eyes and shaking hands. She didn't look great, but in his opinion she didn't look terrible.

"Just lay down for a bit." He tossed out as the blonde giggled.

She felt a multitude of things. Embarrassment, anger, fear and anxiety. She was ready to curse him the hell out, and just as she opened her mouth, a spew of vomit sprayed down onto the pavement between them.

"Fuck!" Riley yelled jumping back and only just missing the vomit. He turned his ire onto Bella. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Sobbing now, Bella tried to defend herself. "I t-to-told you I needed to go!"

"You fucking idiot! Why didn't you say you felt sick sooner then?"

"Fuck you! I was looking for you-"

In his anger, Riley ignored Bella's vomit breath and got in her face, grasping her arm tightly.

"Fuck me?" He yelled pointing at his chest, "Nah, Fuck this. Fuck you, you fucking...You're just a fucking kid! Nothing but trouble. More trouble than your worth."

Jake steps forward now, his brow furrowed. "Yo, Biers c'mon, bro. She's a girl."

Shoving Jake's hand off his shoulder, Riley shoves Bella into Jakes arms.

"You deal with that." He throws over his shoulder, grabbing the blondes hand before continuing down the road.

Jake holds Bella while she cries into his shirt, hesitantly rubbing soothing circles on her back. His eyes always remained on the road, for fear that Riley would come back and beat the shit out of him for even touching Bella. Or worse.

Half the time, it seemed that Riley could barely stand Bella- but he'd be damned if anyone else had her. Jake knew that much.

Regardless, he felt bad for the young girl. Leading her back inside, he led her to his bedroom and let her sit while he called Leah. He let Leah help her wash up in his bathroom while he stood near the door.

Both he and Leah stayed with Bella that night, taking care of her as she got sick three more times. Leah held her shaking hands and Jake supplied her with food and water.

When it was mostly quiet in the room, and neither were sure if Bella was asleep, Leah whispered, "Why do you stay with him, Bella?"

Bella slowly opened her eyes, blinking up at Leah slowly. "I don't know." she whispered. Her eyes then darted over to where Jake was seated on her other side. "Why do you?" she wondered. Leah looked over too.

There were plenty of reasons, some that Bella knew about others she didn't. It all boiled down to this: survival.

Instead, Jake whispered "I don't know." back.

NOW:

Bella pulled at the tight white shorts she wore, hoping her panty line wasn't showing.

The locker room was a flurry of activity, the dance team running around to quickly apply their makeup and do their hair. Mostly done, Bella had Jasper add some small adhesive crystals to compliment her makeup. The crystal were placed in a way that framed the edge of her eyes, shimmering when it caught in the light. Her hair was straightened, flowing like silk down her back. Despite the crystals, Bella's look was one of the more tame among the group.

"You're sleeping over?" Asks Rose, her high ponytail swinging with her movement.

"Yeah." Bella responded. She hadn't stayed over in almost a year, her Mother and Aunt concerned she would use the excuse as a way to sneak around. It had taken some convincing, but after Bella's most recent drug test, Renee and Carmen allowed her this. But only Rose's House, her mother had warned. Rose's parents were family friends and Renee trusted them.

"Alright." Rose answers simply, a small smile present. She had known Bella's staying over was contingent on her passing the drug test, and was excited to know she'd done so. Her joy is present in her eyes, the shimmering blue pools alight. She knows Bella doesn't want her to mention it, so she doesn't, confident that Bella knows how proud she is.

After returning the smile, Bella's eyes roam the locker room. She watches her teammates in various states of dress, hunching over sinks and compact mirrors as they work to be perfect. Between giggling over boys and gossip, some of the girls practice. The air smells of Victoria's Secret perfume, gum and some fruity drink Bella can't name.

It's the most normal she's felt in a long time.

Only a few minutes later, Jasper comes banging on one of the lockers, signaling that it was time.

Walking out, Bella had to squint against the blinding stadium lights. She could hear the roar of the crowd as they chanted, chattered and cheered. Turning, she chuckled feeling bad for the poor guy in the mascot costume. The team made their way over to the sidelines, stretching and chatting as they waited for the team to be announced.

"Alright, Port Angeles Panthers, are you ready for some football?" Came the voice of one of the student announcers.

The crowd responded with roars, stomps and whoops. Even for a city this size, the locals were strongly passionate about high school sports, always packing the stands. The dance team joined in, hooping and hollering right along.

The banner was spread out, blocking the tunnels opening. The band started up, playing what Bella sure was a rendition of Dirt Off Ya Shoulders. Not long after, the team ran through, Edward among the first to rip through the banner. Some team members waved at the crowd, others ran to the center surveying the field.

Bella tried not be obvious, but she couldn't help looking around for Edward's form. She had lost sight of him among the crowd. He spotted her first, catching her eyes before throwing a smirk and wave her way. She smiled back, slightly fluttering her fingers.

If she had been watching their interaction as an outsider, she would have gagged. Since that wasn't the case, she enjoyed the way her heart soar at his attention.

Both teams sent out one of their captains for the coin toss, the away team winning. The whole stadium watched anxiously as the opposing team kicked the ball to them, one of the players returning it to the sound of cheers.

Once the players took the field, it was a constant blur of bodies running, the ball flying and hard tackles. Bella watched over and over again as bodies zoomed by at lighting speed, the ball thrown over their heads as they worked to avoid the nasty tackles coming their way. Bella watched for Edward's number, 20. He zoomed across the field, his catches precise and his speed impressive. He looked like a bullet. She couldn't help but flinch when he occasionally collided with another player or was tackled. He was strong though, always bouncing back with an energy only his youth could bring.

Port Angeles was kicking ass, and by the time the game had ended they have won 43 t0 13.

The energy was palpable, Bella could only imagine the rush the players felt on the field.

It was also much better to perform when the team was doing well, the crowd was already pumped up and in a good mood. Nevermind that they had reacted positively to the dance teams shorter dances. Impromptu cheers at halftime.

As her team took to the middle of the field, she was extra nervous. This was the first dance she had choreographed completely on her own. The team had done well during practice, picking up the steps quickly. It would also be the first time Edward would see her perform a choreographed dance. She took a deep breath.

The crowd cheers as the opening of a popular song begins, many of the attendees singing along. The dance is quick and high energy but sensual in it's flow. Halfway through Bella wonders why she hadn't put her hair up. Not letting her wild locks deter her, she throws her entire being into the routine, her steps precise and smooth leaving no doubt in the mind of anyone watching that she was leading this thing.

Watching from the sidelines, Edward found himself bopping his head to the beat, his eyes never leaving Bella's figure. He had heard she was good, and she was. Her steps were high energy, and her curves and hair adding an extra sensuality. And her plump ass in those shorts? Forget it.

Edward worked to be a gentleman around Bella, and he usually succeeded, but he knew that after watching her today, he'd have to prepare his right hand for some serious work in order to keep from devouring her. When the music fades out, Edward isn't quiet about his support, whistling and whooping.

Pink and huffing, Bella smiles as the final steps of the routine come to an end, flicking her hair out of her face. She laughs as the dance team ran off the field to cheers and whoops.

This was the energy Bella constantly chased. The feeling that she was more, and she mattered. She loved the rush, the appreciation, the hard work.

And in the midst of sweaty teenagers, under the bright lights, she loved how Edward looked at her.

In the flurry of excitement, Bella misses Edward. He heads home with his family, but texts her a promise to see her later at Ben's.

You're gonna come right?

Yeah, she responds.

Good. Wouldn't be a party without you.

Don't know about that lol

Well, it wouldn't for me at least

She curses the stupidly charming boy for being so...stupidly charming. Trying to stifle her grin, she pretends she doesn't see Rose glance over at her from the driver's seat.

A bit later, while she and her gang get ready in Rose's bedroom, Jasper debates wearing a mesh tank top under his blazer.

"No one wants to see your hairy nipples, Jas." Rose mutters into the mirror.

"Speak for yourself, these nips are famous around these parts."

"I bet they are." Zafrina utters, a wry smile on her face.

"Plus, it's warmer than usual for the end of October." He argues.

"All thanks to global warming." Bella comments sarcastically.

The girls giggle at Jaspers annoyed expression. "You guys kill everything." he mutters, sitting on Rose's bed and scrolling through his phone.

Despite Jasper's outward demeanor, she can see that he's happy to be here. All of her friends are. After almost losing her life, it had put many things into perspective. The distance that had developed in her friend group was reevaluated- by both Bella and her friends. It wasn't a quick fix, there were still moments where it was obvious Bella had missed a lot - inside jokes, slutty stories and general debauchery one shared with their besties.

For that reason, Bella jumps into the moment like it'll never happen again.

By the time the crew has made it through the doors of Ben's party, it's packed. The music is bumping, bodies swaying and grinding. The hollering of teen boys can be heard outside and a serious game of beer pong is being played.

While everyone grabs some liquor or beer, Bella grabs a cup of soda and follows Rose to the dancefloor. With Bella there, Rose isn't as nervous dancing and soon enough, the whole crew are dancing without a care in the world. They grind, they sway and somewhere in there do the running man.

Despite all the fun she's having, Bella wonders if Edward is around. Does he like to dance? She wonders. He seems to her like the go with the flow type, exhibiting both hyper and calm behavior. Whatever he likes, she likes him and hopes to see him before the night ends.

It's much later when she feels a large hand grip her thigh as she shuffles past a sofa. Startled, she looks down and finds herself staring into the glowing green eyes she's come to know so well. Her smile mirrors his and turns into a giggle when he pulls her onto his lap.

"There you are," He says, his hand never leaving her thigh.

"Here I am."

"You been hiding from me?" He jokes, his voice low and just a bit gritty.

Bella leans closer, pretending she finds it hard to hear him.

"So what if I was?"

His eyes darken at her obvious flirtation, and his lip curls dangerously.

"I'd keep lookin'"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'd never stop."

"Yeah, you were looking real hard from your seat on the couch."

This causes him to laugh heartily, throwing his head back and squeezing her thigh.

"Good game by the way." She praises, resting her hand near his neck now. She can feel the heat and beating of his heart under her palm. It makes her feel warm.

"Thanks. You killed it dancing out there."

She blushes, accepting his praise but quickly moving on. They chat and flirt a little while longer before Bella eventually pulls Edward to dance. He can see the excitement on her face as she sings along to some 90's R&B song. He smiles before pressing her back to his front, holding one hand up to cup his neck. Soon enough, it feels like they're one body, moving together so fluidly it looks practiced. She can feel his warm breath on her neck, and with each huff she can feel herself becoming more turned on. Their flirtation has been going on for weeks, and she isn't sure if it's the music or Edward's body but she feels intoxicated. She turns to face Edward, her eyes meeting his under the dim lights. His smirk is gone, and his eyes are hungry.

She is sure she looks the same. Her hand still cupping his neck, she feels when he starts to leans down. Instead of kissing her lips, he places his lips on her neck softly kissing the skin there while Bella wraps her fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck. When he's driven her sufficiently crazy, she pulls his head up, intent on just kissing him. Just when she licks her lips, Edward stumbles slightly into her. He reflexively wraps both arms around her, and after settling her, turns to confront whoever's pushed him.

"Sorry, bro!" Mike shouts over the noise, his hands up in surrender.

"It's alright. Just watch it." Edward responds, obviously working to tamper down his irritation.

The moment is ruined, and Bella stands gumming her lips as Mike proceeds to chatter.

"But anyway, we need you out there for a ball game, bro. I just bet big money and need your hops."

Edwards eyes cut to Bella, who's still under his arm.

"Ah, maybe next time?" He declines kindly.

"C'mon! Just one game and I'll leave you alone."

The phrase leave alone had Bella shoving Edward forward and Edward agreeing. She follows the boys outside, where there's a hoop and a group already waiting to start.

Bella takes a seat on a long lounge sofa between the pool and hoop, watching as Edward asks the boys to wait before jogging over to her.

"You ok?" He asks.

"I'm good," She smirks, "Beat their ass."

"It'll be quick. Best two outta three." He promises, taping her chin before jogging over.

Bella barely watches, before scrolling through her instagram and twitter feeds. She's beginning to share a post with Jasper when she feels a presence sitting beside her.

"Jake," She exclams, surprise evident in her voice.

"What's up, B?" He says, adjusting his beanie and throwing her smile. She hadn't seen him since the roller rink, and really hadn't thought much of him since then either. His presence made her nervous now, always associating Jake's presence with Riley's. It made her sad, as she had always been fond of Jake and vice versa. He had been a bit like a brother, but he was cut off along with everyone else from her old crew.

"I'm alright, yeah, I'm good. You?"

"I'm good, kid."

She nods. "What're you doing here?"

He raises an eyebrow, as if to say isn't it obvious? "Same reason as always."

She knows that means he's selling for Riley tonight. When she'd hear their discussions, she remembered Riley always loving a younger crowd. They're always more eager and impulsive, he'd said. Easy to hook.

Jake and Riley never attended a party without intention.

"Oh, yeah." Bella smiles sheepishly.

The two are quiet for a moment, watching the boys play their game.

"I hear you ain't into that shit anymore. After that accident. Went to some rehab and found Jesus." He begins, his eyes still on the game.

"Mm. You heard right. Except for the finding Jesus part."

"That's good. Real good. So you're like, completely sober- no drinks or nothin'?"

"Yup."

She's short with her answers, hesitant to reveal too much.

"That's good," He says again, "Hard too. But, you were always better than all of us."

Bella's eyebrows furrow at this. She glances at Edward dunking the ball, before turning her eyes back to Jake. "Don't say that." She mutters.

"Nah. It's true." He says, slumping further into the couch. "Listen, I don't know what type of fucked up shit goes through your head sometimes. But I know you're a good person. I always thought that. I used to sit there and be like, 'Yo why the fuck is she here? She doesn't belong here.'"

She's stunned by his sudden passion. His words feel urgent, like he needs her to believe him.

"You ok, Jake?" She wonders aloud.

He looks over at her, his hands in his hoodie pocket. "I don't know. I'm thinkin' this shit ain't for me either."

"Maybe it isn't. I don't know if it's for anyone."

"But I can't just leave, I've got people depending on me."

Bella remembers his sick mother, who Bella would often keep company while Jake and Riley worked.

"How's your mom?"

"The same. But I ain't never giving up on her. She's all I got. Her, Lee and our kid."

"Leah's pregnant?" Bella's eyes bulge.

"Yeah. A boy."

She ponders this. She and Jake are similar in many ways. The sick parents, the desire to be part of something else, the tendency to pretend they are they aren't. Jake was always a good guy, with a soft heart. Riley had him by the balls though, knowing that he could take away everything in an instant. The money Jake made with Riley was phenomenal, and without even a GED, Jakes employment prospects were low. In the beginning, Riley seemed like a hero. Now, like Bella, he understood that Riley never gave without taking. And he'd take everything if he could.

Hearing Jake's spiel makes her feel...impulsive? Almost like she has no time left. She doesn't understand it, and decides to come back to it later.

She turns at the sound of Jake's huff.

"What?" She asks.

"You might wanna head out." He warns, knowing that she'll catch his drift.

She nods, looking over again at Edward who stands with his hands on his knees now. It looks like the game is over. Perfect timing.

"Thanks, Jake." She says standing up. She starts to head over to Edward before turning around.

"You're too good for this stuff, Jake. I hope you get what you want."

He only smiles, before shooing her off.

When she reaches Edward, he doesn't even hesitate to follow her as she pulls at his arm.

"Where are we going?"

Feeling both fearful and impulsive, she turns to answer.

"Your house."

A/N: Thanks for reading, reviewing, following, lurking...etc

I wrote this all today, so excuse any glaring mistakes. Until next time! :)