I made a few decisions regarding this story. I am writing this story for me, and while I do appreciate the feedback I receive on it, good and bad. I am writing it for me. So due to personal reasons and what I need from this story. This is no longer a Toph/Azula fic. This is a friendship fic. A true deep unconditional loving friendship. I know some of you may not like this and I'm sorry about that. This is what I need, so this is what I write.

So if you're still here and reading. Enjoy! This is a longer chapter. (With a lot of dialogue.)

[Trigger Warning: Nightmares, unintentional self harm, PTSD]

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Water rushed around her. The cold biting her skin, she couldn't move. She couldn't breathe! Rough, hard chains wrap around her, suffocating her. Her lungs burned, her head spun, and her throat was raw. She was going to die! She needed to breathe!

Jerking awake, a scream ripping it way out of her throat. She fell to the floor and heaved. Ribs sending waves of pain with each gasp, tears streamed down her face. "Breathe 'zula. You're okay. You're safe." Azula knew that voice. Still crying she turned towards Toph and rested her head on her shoulder. She hated all she seemed to do now was cry, but here she was clinging to her only friend. Desperate to forget her nightmare.

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Toph woke to a gut wrenching scream, and before she could react the putrid stench of vomit hit her nose. 'Oh, Azula.' She flung the blankets off and walked quickly around the bed. Azula was shaking with each sob, and her breath came in short gasps. Slowly Toph knelt close to Azula. "Breathe 'zula. You're okay. You're safe." What happened next was more of a blur. Next thing she knew she was waking up, crick in her back from how she was sitting. The servants must've cleaned up the vomit and straightened the bed. Her stomach growled. 'Must be time for breakfast.' Toph rested a hand on Azula, who was tucked into her side. "Time to wake up." Azula groaned and shifted closer. Too hungry to be gentle she stood up. Azula woke with an indignant "Hey!". Laughter filled the room. "Get up next time. I'm hungry!" They quickly got dressed and made their way to the dining room.

They arrived at breakfast. As soon as they entered the air was tense, conversation stopped. Dread settled deep in Azula's stomach. What was she doing here? No, This was her home, her palace and she'll be damned if she let's that water bender scare her away. She held her head up and followed Toph to sit at the table. Putting some distance between her and the rest of the table, Toph sat next to Mai and Azula sat next to her. She felt the room was thick with tension, but Azula was determined not to show on her face.

"Hi aunt 'zula" Izumi waved to her down the table. She was a remarkably gifted toddler already able to walk and talk. Though she did struggle on different sounds.

" Good morning Izumi." Azula gave a small wave. She could feel Katara's stare. "I forgot to thank you for your lovely card. I would be honored to join you in the garden tomorrow afternoon."

Izumi looked confused, until Mai leaned over and whispered something to her. She gasped. "Really!" Azula nodded. Izumi beamed, staring at Azula as she ate. The room stayed in a stiff silence, only broken when Izumi wanted to tell Toph about the fire lilies she found.

Azula quickly excused herself once she had finished eating. She walked out of the room and went to her study. She had to be careful how she moved because if she wasn't her ribs would send sharp pains throughout her body. Once she had arrived she had a servant bring her the recent trade agreements to review. No doubt these would need to be redone.

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Meanwhile in the dining room as soon as Azula left the room Katara went on the offensive. "Why is she here Zuko?"

Zuko flinched. "She is my sister Katara. She is well again, so she is welcome home."

This seemed to anger her further. "Does no one remember? She killed Aang! She nearly killed you! She is evil Zuko!"

Zuko looked at Mai, and she nodded. Quickly she took Izumi and left the room. "No one has forgotten! I said she was welcome, not trusted. I have a unit of guards I trust specifically assigned to her! She is a Fire Nation Princess. Believe it or not the people still love her. She has been a token royal for a long time. They are thrilled to have her back." Sighing, he ran a hand over his face. " She is my sister Katara. I can't abandon her again."

Katara stared at him. Then she worked her jaw trying to find the words. Finally she looked at Aang. "Zuko, Katara is just trying to express that we have concerns about Azula being free. How do we know she's changed? How do we know she won't try to take the throne. We-"

"She won't." Zuko jumped at the tone Toph used.

Katara found her words. "What? How do you-"

"She won't. I know because she is my friend. She doesn't want the throne anymore. She wants to be productive and help her nation sure, but she doesn't want that level of responsibility." Toph had to work to keep her voice level.

"How do you know she's not lying? Azula always lies!"

"She's my friend Katara! She's changed. She's different, now that she doesn't have a shitty ass dad telling her all the wrong things are right!" Though she is still scary as hell in council meetings.

Silence filled the room. "One chance Toph. One."

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Deciding it would be wise to eat lunch alone Azula had it taken to her study. Toph kindly offered to eat with her but Azula insisted she catch up with her friends. Besides, today she had a therapy appointment with Dr. Sadao. Every Monday and Friday she would meet with the doctor somewhere in the palace and talk, sit in silence, or anything in between. As it was Friday Azula made her way to the palace entrance and hoped Dr. Sadao was ready. Dr. Sadao was the only psychologist that agreed to work with her, and to Azula's surprise she actually wanted to help. So after twoish weeks of establishing boundaries they settled into a pattern. As Dr. Sadao walked in, they exchanged pleasantries. "Where too today Princess?" Rolling her eyes Azula led them to her study. She does most of her work here and in the library, bringing smaller things to the desk in her chambers. The room would be quite suitable for today's session. Sitting upon the small sofa she waits as the doctor settles into a chair across the small table. "Interesting choice. Care to explain?"

"I need to discuss something that I don't want overheard." Not that she wanted anyone to overhear what she said in these sessions, but some locations carried more risk than others.

"Oh? And what might that be?" She writes something down. 'Notes for later' she said when Azula asked. It was a problem at first but Azula was used to it now.

"The water bender."

"Who?"

"Katara."

"Oh." More notes. "The one who defeated you at the end of the war?"

"Yes." Hands ghosting up her arms.

"What about Katara?"

"She is here. In the palace. I had breakfast with her and the Avatar this morning."

"How was it?"

Her hands tightened. "Tense. No one spoke except Izumi. I left early and had lunch in my study."

"Why did you leave early?"

Ding ding ding…."It...it was suffocating. I can't breathe when she's around me. My heart races….I...I have to fight just to keep myself in the moment."

"So you have trouble staying present in the moment?"

"It's hard not to go back to when I was truly trapped. She chained me and everyone followed suit."

"You blame Katara for the prison's use of restraints?"

"No,I…" Her face crumpled, nails digging into her flesh.

"Hey, It's okay. You're okay. Relax your hands Azula. You're safe."

Slowly she opened her hands slightly wincing at the crescents left in her arm. "I'm sorry. I'm so jumbled."

Dr.Sadao smiled softly. "You have nothing to apologize for. As for your headspace, try to run times tables in your head or touch your clothes and describe them to yourself. Out loud or in your head."

Azula nodded, pulling her legs up to rest underneath her. "I know, I'll try harder."

"There's no shame in struggling Azula. Everyone does at some point in their life."

" Yes but not everyone struggles to keep their mind in the right place and time."

"Oh, I think you would be surprised." Soft silence swept through the room.

Voice weak Azula broke the silence. "She hurt me."

"Katara?" A nod. More notes. "Azula you were attacking her she had to defend herself."

"Not this time."

Sadao froze, notes forgotten. "What do you mean 'this time?'"

Tears forming in her eyes Azula spoke. "I was sparring with Toph. Her idea. I was on top of her, her hands pinned beneath my feet and I heard her yell at me to get away. I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. Then suddenly I'm hit with water, tossed across the yard like a ten pound sack." She wrapped her arms around herself. "I think they're broken."

Stunned for a moment Dr. Sadao struggled to find the right words. "Have you told anyone yet?"

Azula shook her head. "There's no point you can't do anything but wait for them to heal."

"There must be something."

"There's not. This is not my first time with broken ribs. I can deal with the physical pain, but wait I felt when I heard her voice?"

"You froze. You were scared."

"Terrified."

Sadao put the note pad down. "I want you to start journaling. Write down how this makes you feel, ask why? Don't limit it to this. Write about your day, your week."

"I don't want anyone to read that."

"No one has to. It's to help you process your thoughts. Hide the book, scroll, whatever, or use loose paper and burn it when you're done."

Azula raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes, Really. Before we end, there is one more thing I want you to do." Azula nods. "I want you to talk to Katara. I know that seems like alot, too much even. So, I want you to take it slow, normally I would suggest you simply avoid triggers, but the complexity of this makes that impossible. I want you to learn one thing about her by talking to her. Maybe you can learn to understand her way of thinking. Maybe even apologize for all you did to her during the war. Explain your father's manipulation as a reason, but not an excuse for not seeing the error in your actions in the war."

"I knew what I was doing during the war. It was supposed to hurt her. How can I ask forgiveness for that?"

"You don't. You express your regret for those actions. But, Azula you were fourteen, fed lies and prejudices since the day you were born. What matters is that you take responsibility for your actions and the hurt they caused." Azula's face was wet with the few traitorous tears that tracked down her face. They sat in silence until Azula felt she could breathe without holding back sobs." We did a lot today so don't worry about talking to Katara today. Try to start your journaling and remember your grounding techniques."

Azula nodded. "I will." They walked back to the palace doors. "Thank you Dr. Sadao."

Dr.Sadao gave a small bow. "It is my pleasure Princess. Please tell the Fire Lord or Toph about your ribs." Her tone was stern. Azula knew if she didn't tell someone, Dr. Sadao would. It was one of the few things that wasn't confidential.

"I will." She spoke with a small nod, and with that the doctor left.

"Who was that?"Azula nearly jumped out of her skin. Slowly she turned to see a sheepish Avatar rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

Azula rolled her eyes. " If you must know she is my therapist."

"I thought you weren't crazy anymore."

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes again, Azula humored him. " You don't need to be crazy to see a therapist. Honestly it would do Zuko wonders." Azula made her way down the hall.

Aang kept pace with her. "Why do you see her then?"

Azula kept her gaze ahead. "I don't have hallucinations anymore, but my thoughts tend to get muddled and sometimes….I get trapped."

Aang nodded soberly. "So, You get trapped by your muddled thoughts?"

Azula sighed. "Sometimes. Other times I stuck somewhere else."

"Memories?"

Azula nodded.

"What's wrong with your ribs?"

Dead in her tracks, her face hardened. "Nothing that is of your concern."

"You're hurt?" Aang looked at her with such concern, it threw her.

'Why does he care? He's a munk you idiot he doesn't care about you. How far did the truth go? Her promise to be more honest was hard fought to keep. She didn't want to tell him, and she didn't lie; it wasn't his concern!' "Azula." 'Why'd she run her mouth with Sadao anyway? Stupid! Keep your mouth sh-' "Azula!"

"Zuko?" What was he doing here?

Crouched over her, his hands hung awkwardly over. Trying to offer support, but aware of her sensitivity to touch. "Hey, What happened?"

When did she sit on the floor? Pain radiates throughout her body, exhaustion settling over her. "I...I muddled again." Slowly she uncurled her hands to reveal small bloody crescents. Her frown deepened.

Zuko winced at her hands. "It's okay. It happens. Aang said something about your ribs? Are you hurt?"

Fog settling in her mind, her body too exhausted and painful to move, she rests her head against the wall. "I think they're broken, Zuzu." Her voice was weak and hushed.

A frown pulled at Zuko's lips. He turned to glance at Aang. There was something more happening here. If there is one thing Zuko knows it's that Azula had the highest pain tolerance of anyone he knew. There had to be something more to this! However he had to take care of his little sister first. "Can you walk 'zula?" A slow nod, followed by the rising on shaky legs. Azula took a step forward and grabbed Zuko's arm to hold herself upright. Zuko looked at Aang and nodded and Aang took off in a different direction.

Finally reaching Azula's room, Zuko helped Azula change her clothes and laid her in bed. Then he went to the washroom and came out with a damp washcloth. Gently he cleaned the cuts on her hands and drew the blankets over her. "I will take care of this." He rose to leave and Azula grabbed his hand.

"Stay? Just 'till I'm asleep." She seemed dazed, eyes glazed over. Like she was in a different world. She probably was. Zuko nodded softly and held her hand till she fell asleep.

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Thank you for reading! I unfortunately have to put this on hiatus until I get a new computer because mine is broken. I promise I'm going to continue this. I love this story. Feel free to leave your opinion in the comments just be respectful about it please. I will be back as soon as I can.