Gently, so as not to wake Edward, Bella runs her finger along the bumpy stretch marks on his lower back. They're faint and pale against his slightly tan skin and despite their ribbed appearance, are silky soft.
He's a deep sleeper, and the length of his lashes are apparent as they fan across his cheek bones. Hints of the sun's rays peek through the blinds, and illuminate his hair and face.
He's beautiful.
Keeping her hands on his lower back, she shuffles closer, tucking her face into his arm. He doesn't smell like anything she can describe, but his warmth feels good on her skin. The two had fallen in and out of sleep a few times, sharing chaste kisses and hushed words. In his arms, and in his room - she left safe.
Glancing at his face once again, she can't stop the sudden rush of affection she feels for the boy. The feeling is equally strange and comforting, but she lets herself feel it all.
She wonders - what does it mean? To him, to her? Does it mean anything at all? She didn't have those answers, and wasn't pressed for them either. It was nice to just be.
She knows there's more to be done, said and heard. She knows that Edward was rapidly becoming one the most special people in her life. And she knows, more than anything, that she couldn't stop the boy from getting closer to her heart if she tried.
And it terrifies her.
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The next time Bella wakes up, her entire body is pressed against Edwards, their legs tangled and heartbeats basically one. He has one long arm wrapped around her form, keeping her on top of him. It's almost as if he can't even bear the thought of her being on the other side of the bed.
Glancing up, Bella sees Edward silently scrolling through his phone, mindlessly liking pictures.
"Instagram this early?" She teases.
He glances down at her, before throwing his phone somewhere in his room, and hoisting her body up until she sits on his stomach. He grips her legs on either side of him, and grins as he sits up.
"Nosy" he whispers.
"Hi" she whispers back.
He gives her a peck- morning breath and all- before speaking.
"My family's downstairs"
At this Bella pulls back, heart beating wildly in her chest.
"What?"
"Just a heads up" he shrugs nonchalantly.
Her eyes comically bugged, Bella sputters before jumping off him and scurrying to find her jeans. Edward laughs.
"This isn't funny! I was not prepared to meet your family. You snuck me in here!"
Standing in just his boxers, he calmly walks over and cups her face in his large hands.
"Relax"
"In a minute" she says. Edward rolls his eyes.
"They're all really nice. A little too nice, actually."
"Who, exactly, are they?"
"My mom, grandma and grandpa."
"I'm gonna kill you"
He rolls his eyes and leads her to his en-suite bathroom, which Bella notices is quite messy. She briefly grimaces, but soon after decides that if this was his biggest fault-she'd take it. He was seventeen afterall.
They fight for space at the sink, Edward obnoxiously shoving his elbow in Bella's face as he brushes his teeth. Bella does the same with her finger and some mouthwash. The mood is playful and silly, and Bella's giggling more than she has in her life.
And a few minutes later when Edward asks, "Are you ok?"
She says, "I am", and she means it.
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Downstairs, Bella recognizes Emesto from the skating rink at the stove.
"La bella ragazza!" he yells. The pretty girl, Edward whispers into her ear as translation.
Emesto's wife, who they simply introduce as Nonna, sits atop a stool while chopping onions for the omelettes Emesto makes. Like Edward had reassured upstairs, the two are very kind, greeting her with kisses on the cheeks and various compliments in Italian. They're unintentionally funny and tease Edward constantly. It warms Bella to see how transparent their love is for one another.
For the most part, Bella is happy to observe and just exist among the afternoon flurry. She likes the chatter, the laughter and even when she doesn't understand what their words mean, the sounds make her smile.
Eventually, Edward asks about his mother's whereabouts. Just as Nonna begins to answer, keys can be heard rattling in the foyer near the front entrance. With a few grocery bags, labored breath and bright red lips, a woman makes her way into the kitchen.
Edward's mom.
Despite her aging, She's as beautiful as she was in the picture, and is still a dead ringer for Julia Roberts in Bella's opinion. After briefly greeting her parents, and smacking a loud kiss on Edwards cheek, she turns to Bella.
"Hi there," She says, offering a warm smile and quick kiss on the cheek in greeting.
"Hi," Bella greets back, trying to recall her manners. "I'm Bella."
"Very nice to meet you, Bella." Her eyes flicker to Edward and back, "Esme. Edward's Mommy"
"C'mon," Edward mutters in embarrassment.
Her voice is pleasant, but loud. She's high energy for sure and it reminds Bella of Alice.
The rest of the afternoon is spent sitting around the kitchen island, food and stories being shared and consumed. Edward's grandparents are eager to regale Bella with stories of a young Edward, while Esme smiles wistfully. Bella gets the feeling that Edward's youth was a tough time for her, and she wonders how she remembers the time.
Bella's having so much fun, she doesn't notice the time. Emesto asks Edward to help out at the rink in an hour, and unable to say no, he reluctantly agrees. Esme offers to drive Bella home, but Edward insists on doing so himself, despite having to rush.
At the front door, Edward's family convey how lovely it was to meet her and beg her to come back again soon. Nonna, is particularly attached, hugging and pinching Bella's cheeks. Edward has to all but carry her out of the house so they can get into the car.
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"I'm sorry, they're crazy." Edward laughs.
"I loved it." Bella shakes her head, and glances at him. " Your mom was always touching you. You all seem close. "
"A little too close." he jokes, throwing a smirk her way.
"That's awesome, though." She's silent before she quietly adds, "We were like that too. Before."
He wants to hear more.
"You mean you and your mom?"
"Mhm."
He's quiet for a second, his eyes narrowing as they concentrate on the road.
"You'll be like that again." He says confidently, "We had to get there. It wasn't like that between us for a long time."
His mother's love was almost tangible, seen and felt in every word or touch. It was obvious that she lived for Edward. Bella couldn't imagine a time where it wasn't like that.
"What do you mean?" She wonders.
"Ma was really fucked up about Dad-obviously. He was her first and only everything. They started dating when they were like, fourteen or something. They had me pretty young too- They were only 20, so." He sounds like he's relaying someone else's story, and in a way it could be- these people aren't the same. This is a story of a different life.
"But anyway, after dad passed, My mom was alone. We were still in Chicago and my grandparents were here. They'd visit and help when they could, but there are some thing's even money couldn't help, y'know?"
"Yeah" Bella says, showing him she's listening.
"She got super depressed. Lost her job. Didn't speak to her friends. She'd sleep alot. " He moves his head back in forth, contemplative. "Eventually, it got so bad, my grandparents decided to take me in. She wasn't my mom anymore. She was upset, but she couldn't argue that she wasn't in the right headspace." He says, pointing to his head.
"Wow..." Bella comments. She's amazed. The more she gets to know Edward, the more they seem to relate.
"Yeah." He responds. " I was mad at her for a long time. It felt like I wasn't enough for her to want to be better. Like she didn't love me enough or something. So I was mean to her. I'd ignore her when she'd visit or call. It felt like she was leaving me too. So I wanted to do it first."
And that right there hit Bella so intensely, she audibly gasped.
The two are quiet for a moment, Edward concentrating on the road and Bella concentrating on Edward.
"What changed?" Bella asks.
Edward chews on his lip, thoughtful.
"Nothing, I guess. Except, I realized that I love her more than I wanted to hate her. She wasn't perfect but neither am I. She was a young, single mom who'd just lost the love of her life. And my anger was just displaced grief, really. My grandpa said to me, 'Grief is just love with no place to go', and I never forgot that. So I decided to let go, and eventually... I did."
His complex words are stated so simply, that at first, Bella isn't quite sure how to respond. Actually, she doesn't think much needs to be said. His words are perfect - having both deepened their connection and provided some unexpected guidance.
"You're so special, Edward." She whispers.
He smiles softly, and grabs her hands tightly before kissing her fingers.
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Carmen is sitting on the couch, watching the kind of shitty reality-TV Bella loves. When she hears the door, she looks up at Bella, her eyebrow arched in annoyance.
"So, I spoke to Mrs. Hale." She starts, "And seems like you weren't where you said you'd be."
Bella doesn't even try to lie or cover herself. She doesn't want to.
"I'm sorry. I was at Edward's."
"He's a good kid and all, but Bunny, you've gotta‒"
"Be careful. I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, be responsible" Carmen admonishes using one of her favorite lines. Bella fights the urge to roll her eyes.
"I'm trying." She says, plopping herself down next to her aunt. Carmen reaches over and tugs her niece into her side so that the two are cuddled up.
"I know. I see it. We're proud of you, kid. Just...keep doing the right thing."
Bella licks her lips. The right thing- what is that exactly? And the right thing according to whom?
We're proud of you echoes in her mind. Carmen always includes Renee in these declarations, like she's her messenger. Bella wonders if the the sentiments ring true for Renee.
Is she proud of Bella? Does she even think of her? Edward's words come back to her. Love, grief, anger, displaced...
She doesn't know if she's ready to confront all of that just yet. So she remains content that she will, one day.
For now, she burrows deeper into her Aunt's arms.
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